My Dad is Fine

[Jim Mahan]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Last time I saw him, he's a beautiful man. I just hope he knows I'm there

Well, now we know where you got it. You got his eyebrows.



It's hard, but it's not too hard. I spent my Dad's last week alone with him and my younger brother when they both passed within a week of each other, fifteen years ago, following cancer's ravages. Just a morbid coincidence that they were together for their individual ends.

I held my Old Man as I helped back into bed for the last time, just an hour or two before he passed, at home. Then a week later, my younger brother, in the next room. My Wife and I had to drive up to Oregon separately, and She joined me after the first few days, and we said goodbye to Pete together. My mom had passed a year before, and Dad and Pete bached together. Then during the first months of the pandemic my Wife's mother spent her hospice across the street at the Daughter's house. She lingered for a long time unable to do anthing much but be awake off and on. I think I'd prefer to go like my older brother Tom, suddenly, from a heart attack. I'd rather not be driving at the time, though. Thank god for the morphine drip.

[elf]

Re: My Dad is Dying

A very special man with a marvelous connection to you and yours. A real treasure. Hope you get there in time to hold him tight, Joe. He will understand and the exchange of warmness will console you forever.

I am sure you will go on being the person you learned to be from him - flamboyant, noisy, loving, thoughtful, adventurous, wacky and not embarrassed to wear your big heart on your sleeve! Love, elf.

[MushCreek]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Save travels and condolences, Joe. It's never easy, no matter how ready you think you are.

[Chip-skiff]

Re: My Dad is Dying

I can see you in your father's face.

Sorry to hear this. No wisdom to offer.

I'll be thinking of you and Renee.

[AndyG]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Hope you arrive in time to spend some time with him and say thanks for the good times you spent together, and goodbye.

Yes. So very much, yes.

My Dad's final day was full - filled with all normal stuff - and he died in his bed at sleep that night, aged 80, of an aneurysm. Our 'final words' were a week before. All nonsense, nothing important. I'd have loved even moments with him talking about the deeper truths and what he meant to the people that loved him.

Best of luck, Joe.

Andy

[SaltyD from BC]

Re: My Dad is Dying

By the picture and a quick bit of math by all accounts he's had a good run. From experience I can tell you that doesn't help much over the short term and I'm sure you know that now. But I think it does when the dust settles and you start to work through it. And also from experience whether he knows your there or not is of little concern in the big picture and at this point. But that thought also doesn't make it easier. Strength love and positive energy sent your way Joe. One step at a time one day at a time I wish you the very best.

[gypsie]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Sorry to hear this Joe.
I wish you and your family well.
Reach out when you need to off load.

[Katherine]

Re: My Dad is Dying

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Mrleft88]

Re: My Dad is Dying


I lost my dad 7 years ago this past week.... It still hurts.
At least we know what you're going to look like in 20 years Joe..... Hang tough, and cry like a baby. It's cool.

[Brian Palmer]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Sorry to hear that, Joe. I hope you get to spend time and be there with him.

[stromborg]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Sorry to hear this Joe. Both of my parents are gone so I know what you're going through. You have my sympathies too.

[johnw]

Re: My Dad is Dying

So sorry to hear this. Be well, it's a tough one.

[Joe (SoCal)]

Re: My Dad is Dying

OK, so my sisters grossly exaggerated my fathers condition. Yes he has some serious cognitive dissonance and now requires a walker and his mobility is severely limited. He gets confused easily, but if you speak loudly and keep him engaged he’s able to participate in lucid conversation. He is not how my mother was when they put her on the morphine drip and essentially was in the final stages and was no longer the mom I knew.

So instead of getting pissed at my sisters for making me stress out and jump on the first plane to get down here, I get to enjoy my father and talk and laugh with him. When I saw him in the car when my sister picked us up at the airport my tears turned into tears of joy. I felt like it was Christmas and my birthday at once. Instead of grief and death I can have some quality time with him. I’m going to take him to a barber today to clean up his scraggly beard and groom him a bit. I’ll take him to church and make dinner for everyone. I also get to see my extended family that lives near by.

In the end, when the time does come I will have this weekend to look back upon and make the most of it.

Thank you all for your incredibly kind words, Emily you brought me to tears. This place is is truly a wonderful place when we all come together. Thank you kust doesn’t seem to be enough.

Some happy photos will be added to this thread.

[Bobby of Tulsa]

Re: My Dad is Dying

Glad things turned out like that Joe, makes this old man happy to hear some good news for a change.

[Breakaway]

A fine result!
Make every day a masterpiece, buddy!


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