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My Dad is Fine

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  • #46
    Re: My Dad is Dying

    Last time I saw him, he's a beautiful man. I just hope he knows I'm there
    Well, now we know where you got it. You got his eyebrows.

    It's hard, but it's not too hard. I spent my Dad's last week alone with him and my younger brother when they both passed within a week of each other, fifteen years ago, following cancer's ravages. Just a morbid coincidence that they were together for their individual ends.

    I held my Old Man as I helped back into bed for the last time, just an hour or two before he passed, at home. Then a week later, my younger brother, in the next room. My Wife and I had to drive up to Oregon separately, and She joined me after the first few days, and we said goodbye to Pete together. My mom had passed a year before, and Dad and Pete bached together. Then during the first months of the pandemic my Wife's mother spent her hospice across the street at the Daughter's house. She lingered for a long time unable to do anthing much but be awake off and on. I think I'd prefer to go like my older brother Tom, suddenly, from a heart attack. I'd rather not be driving at the time, though. Thank god for the morphine drip.


    • #47
      Re: My Dad is Dying

      A very special man with a marvelous connection to you and yours. A real treasure. Hope you get there in time to hold him tight, Joe. He will understand and the exchange of warmness will console you forever.

      I am sure you will go on being the person you learned to be from him - flamboyant, noisy, loving, thoughtful, adventurous, wacky and not embarrassed to wear your big heart on your sleeve! Love, elf.
      A society predicated on the assumption that everyone in it should want to get rich is not well situated to become either ethical or imaginative.

      Photographer of sailing and sailboats
      And other things, too.


      • #48
        Re: My Dad is Dying

        Save travels and condolences, Joe. It's never easy, no matter how ready you think you are.


        • #49
          Re: My Dad is Dying

          I can see you in your father's face.

          Sorry to hear this. No wisdom to offer.

          I'll be thinking of you and Renee.


          • #50
            Re: My Dad is Dying

            Originally posted by Robbie 2
            Hope you arrive in time to spend some time with him and say thanks for the good times you spent together, and goodbye.
            Yes. So very much, yes.

            My Dad's final day was full - filled with all normal stuff - and he died in his bed at sleep that night, aged 80, of an aneurysm. Our 'final words' were a week before. All nonsense, nothing important. I'd have loved even moments with him talking about the deeper truths and what he meant to the people that loved him.

            Best of luck, Joe.

            "In case of fire ring Fellside 75..."


            • #51
              Re: My Dad is Dying

              By the picture and a quick bit of math by all accounts he's had a good run. From experience I can tell you that doesn't help much over the short term and I'm sure you know that now. But I think it does when the dust settles and you start to work through it. And also from experience whether he knows your there or not is of little concern in the big picture and at this point. But that thought also doesn't make it easier. Strength love and positive energy sent your way Joe. One step at a time one day at a time I wish you the very best.


              • #52
                Re: My Dad is Dying

                Sorry to hear this Joe.
                I wish you and your family well.
                Reach out when you need to off load.
                It's all fun and games until Darth Vader comes.


                • #53
                  Re: My Dad is Dying

                  I am so sorry for your loss.
                  Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.


                  • #54
                    Re: My Dad is Dying

                    I lost my dad 7 years ago this past week.... It still hurts.
                    At least we know what you're going to look like in 20 years Joe..... Hang tough, and cry like a baby. It's cool.


                    • #55
                      Re: My Dad is Dying

                      Sorry to hear that, Joe. I hope you get to spend time and be there with him.


                      • #56
                        Re: My Dad is Dying

                        Sorry to hear this Joe. Both of my parents are gone so I know what you're going through. You have my sympathies too.

                        If you would have a good boat, be a good guy when you build her - honest, careful, patient, strong.
                        H.A. Calahan


                        • #57
                          Re: My Dad is Dying

                          So sorry to hear this. Be well, it's a tough one.
                          On the trailing edge of technology.





                          • #58
                            Re: My Dad is Dying

                            OK, so my sisters grossly exaggerated my fathers condition. Yes he has some serious cognitive dissonance and now requires a walker and his mobility is severely limited. He gets confused easily, but if you speak loudly and keep him engaged he’s able to participate in lucid conversation. He is not how my mother was when they put her on the morphine drip and essentially was in the final stages and was no longer the mom I knew.

                            So instead of getting pissed at my sisters for making me stress out and jump on the first plane to get down here, I get to enjoy my father and talk and laugh with him. When I saw him in the car when my sister picked us up at the airport my tears turned into tears of joy. I felt like it was Christmas and my birthday at once. Instead of grief and death I can have some quality time with him. I’m going to take him to a barber today to clean up his scraggly beard and groom him a bit. I’ll take him to church and make dinner for everyone. I also get to see my extended family that lives near by.

                            In the end, when the time does come I will have this weekend to look back upon and make the most of it.

                            Thank you all for your incredibly kind words, Emily you brought me to tears. This place is is truly a wonderful place when we all come together. Thank you kust doesn’t seem to be enough.

                            Some happy photos will be added to this thread.


                            • #59
                              Re: My Dad is Dying

                              Glad things turned out like that Joe, makes this old man happy to hear some good news for a change.
                              "para todo mal, mezcal, y para todo bien tambiƩn" (for everything bad, mezcal, and for everything good, as well.)


                              • #60
                                A fine result!
                                Make every day a masterpiece, buddy!

                                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
                                There are two kinds of boaters: those who have run aground, and those who lie about it.