Eulogies !??

[Spin_Drift]

I read them in the local paper and wonder who writes them? Are they written by surviving family members after the person has died or written by the person while s/he’s still alive?

What would you like yours to say?

[paxtonm]

Re: Eulogies !??

Depends on the newspaper. More of them are seeing obituaries as a revenue stream. When I started in the newspaper business in the 1970s, they were seen as a public service, and as legitimate news. First day on the job: I was handed a stack of them to type up, and the city editor looked at my submissions, and with a withering stare, said "there is no 'a' in cemetery." Oops.

I came to enjoy writing them. At their best, they are a synopsis of a life well lived, a final tribute. The last one I typed up was my father's. That was a difficult one, but I hope I got it right.

[CWSmith]

Re: Eulogies !??

If I could take one step to the side, in my profession we publish eulogies for colleagues who have passed. They are generally written by a friend and colleague who knows both the family and his work. They can be quite touching.

As for the paper, what's a paper?

[Nicholas Carey]

Re: Eulogies !??

If you are somebody famous, or of note, a good newspaper will have obituaries in the can and ready to roll, with a writer who's job it is to keep them up-to-date. One of my cousin's early jobs was the keeper of the obituaries at Maclean's, the Canadian equivalent of Time or Newsweek.

For mere mortals, somebody in the family writes the obituary.

We just went through this recently as my father-in-law passed, and my wife wrote the obituary.

And yes, obituaries are a revenue stream for the newspapers, at least these days. Publishing my father-in-law's obituary in the Duluth newspaper was fantastically expensive. As written, it would have been c. $2,500–$3,000 to publish. Edited down, it was still more than $1,000.

My wife's closing paragraph in the obit as published in the newspaper was a snip, noting how her father would have been appalled at businesses exploiting peoples' tragedies for profit.

[MushCreek]

Re: Eulogies !??

At my mother's Catholic funeral, they said that they 'discourage' eulogies and people other than the priest talking about the deceased. I pointed out that my mother hadn't set foot in that church in about 50 years, so perhaps I was more qualified to talk about her? "Well, keep it brief, then." It's a shame that obits cost quite a bit these days. Poorer people don't get one at all, in some cases. They used to run modest ones in the paper for free.

[Bobcat]

Re: Eulogies !??

When my father died, the local paper did an obituary as he was a judge and well known in the community. Our family also paid for a separate death notice, which I wrote. When my mother died, the paper certainly did not print a news obituary. Again, we paid for a death notice.

I have read obituaries and death notices for years. I have a couple of nits to pick about some of them. First, when someone has a common nickname, you don't have to spell it out. For example, we know or can figure out that Robert went by "Bob," Richard went by "Dick", Kathryn went by "Kathy," and Susan went by "Sue." Second, when people die in their nineties, you probably don't have to recite that they were predeceased by their parents....

[CWSmith]

Re: Eulogies !??

At my mother's Catholic funeral, they said that they 'discourage' eulogies and people other than the priest talking about the deceased.

And that is why attendance is down.

[Nicholas Carey]

Re: Eulogies !??

I have read obituaries and death notices for years. I have a couple of nits to pick about some of them. First, when someone has a common nickname, you don't have to spell it out. For example, we know or can figure out that Robert went by "Bob," Richard went by "Dick", Kathryn went by "Kathy," and Susan went by "Sue." Second, when people die in their nineties, you probably don't have to recite that they were predeceased by their parents....

My nit is listing the cause of death for somebody in their 90s. Unless they died in some unusual manner — killed in an automobile accident, murdered, . . . — the actual cause of death is almost certainly just "old age", no matter what the proximate cause of death listed on the death certificate might say.

[LeeG]

Re: Eulogies !??

My sister and I put together the memorial service for our mom. We did a great job. I had no energy to speak.

[Bobcat]

Re: Eulogies !??

My nit is listing the cause of death for somebody in their 90s. Unless they died in some unusual manner — killed in an automobile accident, murdered, . . . — the actual cause of death is almost certainly just "old age", no matter what the proximate cause of death listed on the death certificate might say.

I have seen the phrase "died of too many birthdays...." A good turn of phrase in my view.

I am also tickled by the stuff left of death notices. The prison sentence, the lawyer's disbarment or multiple bankruptcies never get mentioned

When my retired boss died, a bunch of us at the funeral looked at each other during the eulogy and asked "are we in the right place?" Not the Ron we knew....

[Garret]

Re: Eulogies !??

I wrote both my dad's & my mom's. Very tough - especially mom's as she'd been a newspaper reporter. As mentioned, newspapers charge exorbitant rates for them. I buried (pun intended) a line saying that in my dad's as I knew he'd approve.

At a memorial service for a friend who died way too young (44 of a heart attack), people told Phil stories for over 2 hours. At the end, his widow stood up & said "I have two things to say. First, thank you all for coming & second, so this is where he was all those nights!"

[Robbie 2]

Re: Eulogies !??

I wrote Mum's with the family around to offer input and additional stories.
My University Professor niece read it out at her funeral service.
I just couldn't do that. I did though, lead the commital service that was family only.
We interred Mum's ashes on top of Dad's cemetary plot.
Dad passed in 1972 and Mum in 2015.

[Tom from Rubicon]

Re: Eulogies !??

If you can't make them comical, don't do em.

Tom

[Robbie 2]

Re: Eulogies !??

If you can't make them comical, don't do em.

Tom

I have in and by our family what is considered a wierd sense of humour.
They put a red line through several of my comments in Mum's eulogie.
I told them if they didn't like what I wrote then they could write it.
They then let me write it as I wished.
But, at the funeral, they without my knowledge, made sure my niece read the edited version.

[birlinn]

Re: Eulogies !??

I love the circumspect ones.
I remember a line from one way back "A confirmed bachelor, his charm was not just reserved for the ladies"....