Even this has taken me months to type a few words. According to the date on the computer, I last saved this document, which consisted of the first two sentences on August 7th. And that’s not when I started it. It’s when I saved it after letting it sit open on the desktop for weeks. Then I added a few paragraphs in October.
There are hundreds of reasons, and I’ll try not to bother you with too many, but I am absolutely broken when it comes to Sarah. And it’s nothing new, it’s been going on for years. She sits in the boatyard going on at least ten years hauled out. She’s tarped and covered and in good hands, but I barely go down and check on her.
For a while I attempted to do projects here and there, but I think the last major project was Awl-griping the cabin top. I redid all of the varnish that year too, but it must have been five years ago. With the boat being tarped and Awlgrip being what it is, that’s fine but now, if I had the energy, I’d need to sand and redo the mile of toe rail and cabin trim.
I’ve just got to find someone new to love her. For years I couldn’t wait to get down to the yard and work on her. Even if it was just a couple of hours after work, I just couldn’t wait. There was genuine pleasure in every task. Everything I learned, everything we completed.
Now when I think of Sarah my heart just hurts. It’s a physical hurt. Something twisting inside. And then, like now, the tears start. I’m just so broken, I don’t know what to do or where to start, so I do nothing. She is so beautiful, and she deserves better than I have given her these past few years. I promised her once that we’d grow old together. We’re both growing older, but separately.
The yard bill comes in every month, and they have my credit card, so I just hit delete. I’m pretty sure it’s wrong, the price changes every couple of months, but I’m too broken to even call them and ask what they’re charging me for.
There are still a lot of threads here, but the website is lost. I looked once and found most of the text in the way back time machine or something, but all of the pictures are gone. I let another owner have concordiayawl.com, and he was going to keep sailingwithsarah.com hosted, but that didn’t happen.
I’ve had her listed with a broker, and I’ve run print and digital ads in Wooden Boat. The last print ad was a couple of hundred dollars (maybe more), and I got exactly one response, and he was looking to trade vessels or work. Not even remotely tangible.
You all probably got it too, but a few months ago there was an email blast on a Concordia. One that sounded in better shape than Sarah for around 45k. I think the owner was ill or something. After weeks of letting that sit in my inbox, I reached out to the broker. I identified myself and said I didn’t want to waste his time, but if he could spare a few minutes to reply I was interested in whether or not he had many responses to the email campaign. Never heard back. Crickets.
The broker who had Sarah listed was a friend, and I think doing it as a favor, and I don’t think he didn’t keep the ad active on Yacht World. The couple of times I checked didn’t come up on a search of Concordias for sale. And it wasn’t like I was checking every day; I’d go six months or a year without looking. I’d ask him and it would reappear but then be gone again. Then he got cancer and didn’t want to bother him. Finally, his sign got so sunburned it blew away or the zip ties broke. Anyway, we took down the remnants and put up a For Sale sign with my phone number, but the yard is gated and anyone driving through already has their own project LOL The broker recently got one inquiry, so it must be listed somewhere. He’s out of the country and I don’t think my gate card works anymore.
The Art and Melinda saga was so sad. I watched Melinda deteriorate and the Seattle center where she was try to work with him, and I wondered how in the world that he could let something he loved so much and worked on so hard just sit there and rot, and now here I am.
I reached out to Concordia +/- 5 years ago. Brodie’s response was brief and along the lines of ‘there’s a lot of them like that.’ As far as I know, IRYS won’t take a project without an endowment. I wouldn’t mind helping someone, but I can’t just give IYRS a blank check. I’m not and never will be in that league.
But speaking of helping someone that was interested in her, it wasn’t listed in the ad, but I always planned to include the utility trailer, tools, materials, everything that I ever bought for her.
While she’s sat in the boatyard all these years, everything that could come off of the boat has been stored in the garage. Sails, cushions, even the hatches are off and in the garage, all varnished and waiting to go back on. I just know there’s no use putting them on until she’s back in service. Otherwise, like so many other things, the varnish will ruin, and it’ll have to be redone. Again. The sails are new. Main, mizzen and a new roller furling jib. The cockpit cushions might have been used a dozen times. The interior cushions that I spent so much time sourcing material to match the original were paid for and put on the boat long enough to take photos for what was supposed to be the Yacht World listing. They’ve sat in protective bags in the garage ever since.
There’s so much that just needs to be installed: the W&P ship’s bell, bronze cabin lights I paid a fortune to have Concordia cast, even a gimbled vase for the salon so she could have fresh flowers. There’s so much just sitting here.
Dave and I started with nothing. No tools to speak of, no resources until we found the Forum. Nothing but a boat that had sat for years in the boatyard and that we bought at a sheriffs auction and paid the yard bill.
It just seems like there must be someone out there to love her. I could give the right person so much. So many materials, the tools I’ll never use (like who needs two Fein shopvacs...), even the tool trailer and the cannon that was her launching gift from the Forum. I feel like the canon belongs to her. I just need someone to love her.
A couple of times I was approached by someone wanting to partner and put her in charter. At the time I turned down the suggestion(s), but now that I see several nice boats earning their keep up in New England waters, I realize that might be a way to get her into service.
I’m sorry to pour my heart out. I just don’t know what to do.

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