Were you spanked as a child?

[botebum]

Spanked yes. Beaten no. There were times when a beating might have been the wiser option. I was a pretty rotten kid some days.

Doug

[Tylerdurden]

I don't remember getting spanked other than hiding under my bed against the wall and learning the barber strap reached. Must have been okay as I never felt my father to be unjust. I was rebellious as a teen and at 15 I thought I could stand up against him. He swatted me open handed over the couch. Last time I did that

My kids never got any of that though when my son reached that same point he got my boot in his arse. He still talks about how whenever he thought of doing trouble he would come back to that thought. As in everything sometimes a little in the right place does not hurt but help. I would rather he get a kick from me than a beatdown from the cops.

Like treatement for hysteria is the slap to shock one back to their senses so it goes for the little ones. On only the most rare occasion should it be used. I notice most hit out of frustration which is the wrong approach.

[merlinron]

never spanked or hit by my parents and never swatted my kids. that's not to say i wouldn't have if they deserved it, maybe i/they was lucky....
in seventh grade, a catholic grade school, i had a nun that believed in making kids hold out thier hand while she whacked it with a pointer. after getting busted for spit-ball fighting.... pulling the ink tubes out of our bic pens and turning them into blow guns..... a popular pass-time in our class, this nun decided i needed to be made an example of the way she ran her classes. when she whacked my hand i grabbed the pointer, took it from her and busted over a desk chair. this was followed by a trip to the monsieniour's(sp.) office and letter explaining to my parents that i was not welcome in school untill they came for a conference.
my dad came in for the meeting with me the next morning, sent me to my class and he went into the office. you could hear him all the way on the opposite end of the school from the second floor! i was a hero!!!!
now, my dad was just a construction worker that, in his words," graduated out the back door", but he did know that kids are not to be hit, especially by someonelse who's not thier parent.......i never saw or heard of this nun doing that again.

[Driver Mark]

Quite often, w/ belt, wooden spoon, rubber spatula, switch, whatever happened to be in hand at the time. Then when I reached the grown up age of 12, I got the fists for the terrible crime of wanting to watch football instead of going to church. The old man would tell me "you're goin to church goddamnit" . Kind of soured me on the religion thing.
Swatted my kids on the butt a few times, but as a rule they only got three swats, instead of the free for all till they got tired thing that my parents seemed to enjoy.(don't get me wrong there were times I deserved a spanking) A couple swats here and there didn't seem to ruin them, they're both straight A students and got their college paid for with academic scholarships, and they're great kid's and make dad real proud.

[mmd]

When Gwyn was about a sixteen months old Maureen & I were sitting on the living room couch, playing with Gwyn, and discussing how we would discipline our daughter as she became more "adventurous". We both agreed that a spanking was not out of the question, but that it was the very last resort to an egregious offense. But what constituted such an awful offense on the part of such a cute little toddler? Just then Gwyn crawled up on my lap, stood up, leaned in as if to kiss me, and bit me - hard - on the cheek.

The definition of "egregious misbehaviour" had been cast. A swift swat on the diaper-padded bottom with a sharp "NO!" fetched her up short. Followed by consoling, cuddling, and calm, supportive verbal reinforcement that biting was hurtful and shouldn't be done. Back to playing within five minutes.

That was the only time that we have ever spanked Gwyn, and the only time we ever needed to. Throughout her childhood (even to this day, and she is almost eighteen) all that ever was needed to rein in unacceptable behaviour was the calmly spoken advice that if she were to continue what she was doing, Daddy might yell at her. I think that I only yelled at her twice, and at that only a few words.

Me? I recall being spanked once when I was around five for trying to push Dad down the stairs (we were playing tag at the time) and once by Mom for painting the stove with corn syrup. I got a lot of "time outs", though...

[skuthorp]

I think once, but dad was not himself after the war, probably never the same again.
Children of war veterans often have these problems and the latest generation wil be no different.
It's not as straightforward as it may seem.

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

The Tawse.

Most favoured form of punishment in Scottish schools, when I was a kid. Made from thick leather.

...

In a variety of different thicknesses.

A.K.A. Belt or Strap.

http://www.archivist.f2s.com/cpa/ins.../scotsbelt.htm

At one time the firm was selling 70 or 80 tawses a week

I never knew anyone wear one out.

[seanz]

I never knew anyone wear one out.

I'll bet they only need replacing when they go missing.

[crawdaddyjim50]

Not spanked, I was beat as a child. And I have the scars to prove it. That said, I think you can meet out corporal punishment to a degree and it be a positive influence on the child.

Jim

[olafkolind]

My parents didn't spank very often, and not, when we were small children - they used it mainly, when we misbehaved after the age of 10! There are two punishments, that I will remember the rest of my life! The first happened, when I was a little more than 12 and was in 6th grade at school! I had been called to the headmasters office for being rude to a teacher, and he gave me a serious scolding! I got angry and shouted to him: Shut up, you old idiot!! That was a very serious offence, but instead of caning me, he told my father, who was teacher at the same school, what had happened - and he did it in front of all the teachers in the teachers room during an interval, which was very embarrassing for my father! I soon came to regret my behaviour - when we came home later the same day, he at once called my mother and my two older brothers, who was 18 and 16 years old, to the living room, ordered me to take off all my clothes, so I was completely naked (he didn´t want any clothes to get in his way during the punishment, and at the same time it increased the humiliation), and sat down on a sofa with a large towel over his knees! I was then placed with my naked bottom upwards right over his knees, and he gave me around 50 very hard strokes with his open hand in my naked behind with the whole family watching! My buttocks were very red, very sore and swollen, and very warm afterwards, and my father later told me, that the strokes had been as hard, as he could manage - the very many and very distinct marks could be seen and felt for 2-3 weeks, so it was difficult to sit down on the hard benches at school! It turned out, that he had been wise to protect himself with the towel, as I urinated several times during this enourmous spanking, and now it ended up on the towel instead of on his trousers or on the sofa! Moreover, it turned out later that one of my best friends very well before anyone else knew that I had been beaten badly. Oddly enough, my parents had only thought of pulling the living room curtains, so no one could look in, but not thought of locking the doors to the house before the punishment began, and my friend had unsuspecting come to be together with me. He had knocked on the door, but since no one responded and the door was unlocked, he went in - he came into the hall and could now clearly hear what was going on, both from the screams and the very revealing, very loud and sharp smacking sounds, namely that there was someone receiving a violent beating in the naked behind! Of course, he hastened to leave, but he could figure out that I was the "victim", as my big brothers were too old to receive corporal punishment. He told me some months later, and it was also embarrassing for me to know that he had directly heard the sounds of my punishment.

The second happened, when I was 14½ and was alone at home with my mother on a hot and humid summer day, and thus, besides my underwear, was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt - that turned out to be a great disadvantage! I didn´t want to do my many chores, so we got into an argument - one word took the other, and in the end I shouted some awful things to her (bitch and worse)!! She gave me a hard and very well-deserved slap on the side of my head, but I was very angry and slapped her back - that was a great mistake! Although I was nearly as tall as her, she managed to fetch a solid wooden coathanger, grab my arm, bend me over a table, and pull down my shorts and underpants! She then gave me an enormous trashing with the coathanger - 60-70 violent strokes in my naked behind!! For the second time in my life, I urinated during a punishment, and the very many and very distinct marks and stripes could be seen and felt for 5-6 weeks! It gave me great problems at school, when the other boys in 9th grade saw it - I had to take my showers after the PE lessons (it was very painful just to participate in those lessons, because my shorts rubbed against my very sore buttocks), so I couldn´t avoid, that they saw my very colourfull bottom! Before long, as was the case with the spanking after my misbehaviour at school 2½ year earlier, the whole school knew, what had happened, which was very embarrassing for a teenage boy!!

[Donn]

Welcome to The Bilge. We'll call you "TMI."

[S.V. Airlie]

Once...Hurricane Island 1958. Cutting a switch meeting certain standards and having to be approved by my father was 80% worse though.

[Bobby of Tulsa]

I don't know nothin bout no spankin, My Granny used up most of an elm tree on me. As for my kids. The youngest got one spanking. It was her choice, that or being grounded. Five swats, we only got half way through. She was smarter than I thought. The oldest, well I always said, If you did you had to whip her twice.

[George Jung]

Actually a very good thread - and I'm encouraged by most of the responses. In our family, we received some nasty 'spankings' - beatings actually. It was how my parents were raised, and the greatest predictor of being an abusive adult is if you were abused as a child. I struggled how to raise my kids, but migrated quickly from a bottom spanking to talking only. Honestly, too many parents discipline in anger, and it teaches that hitting is okay.
Worst discipline I ever received was from a college professor. I don't recall the infraction, but all he said was 'I'm so disappointed in you'. He was by far my favorite professor (ever), and I was devastated. Whatever I had done, I didn't repeat it!

[Phillip Allen]

I don't know nothin bout no spankin, My Granny used up most of an elm tree on me. As for my kids. The youngest got one spanking. It was her choice, that or being grounded. Five swats, we only got half way through. She was smarter than I thought. The oldest, well I always said, If you did you had to whip her twice.

maybe we could start calling you Elmer?

[Bobby of Tulsa]

maybe we could start calling you Elmer?

....

[John Smith]

I was, some. I'm not sure this entire subject falls into a one size fits all category.

When my daughter was very small and we had the older style Christmas tree lights, she was going to touch one. I told her not to; a couple of times. She touched it and burned her finger. From then on, if I said, "no" she didn't question it.

[Keith Wilson]

No. Didn't do it to my kids either. Guilt is very effective.

[Bobby of Tulsa]

Guilt may work for some, others not so much.

[Lew Barrett]

I wasn't spanked, and never spanked our kids, but there are other forms of cruelty, some of them quite scarring. My sister and I both got our share of unnatural punishment. Usual source.

Raising kids without spanking takes more imagination, I think.

A thought for your consideration: if you can outsmart a four year old, you don't need to spank him or her. If you can't then getting medieval is one of your few remaining options. It is amazing to me how many people who never had kids think spanking is OK, and how most people who were spanked also think it's an acceptable routine. I think spanking lacks creativity and is the cheap way out.

Vigilance is an extremely important tool when raising kids.

[Bobby of Tulsa]

Why don't we quit locking up criminals, kinda cruel dont ya think. I mean come on. Oh, and while I am at it how bout those drill sargents making those poor kids do all them push ups.

[McMike]

The only way I will hit my kids is if they swing first, god help them if they do. Two boys, 13 & 16.

I think a swat on the backside is okay if used sparingly but even then, kids tend to learn by example and if you're teaching violence solves problems …

[Soundbounder]

I used to have the living blank beat out me.
Bloody noses, bruised face, hair pulled out...it was usually all to my head. One time however, when I was about 12, he hit me and I went down, and he proceeded to kick me in the ribs and gut.

The worst though was the when it took place in public. One time we were in a museum, of all places, and I was so nervous about it being witnessed that I wet my pants.

[Lew Barrett]

Why don't we quit locking up criminals, kinda cruel dont ya think. I mean come on. Oh, and while I am at it how bout those drill sargents making those poor kids do all them push ups.

Not the same thing. Are the kids criminals? Do the troops not require training?
Context matters.

Very few parents have ever NOT hit their kids, either in anger, frustration or a sincere sense that corporal punishment might be worth a try. That doesn't make it the most effective discipline.

[Lew Barrett]

I used to have the living blank beat out me.
Bloody noses, bruised face, hair pulled out...it was usually all to my head. One time however, when I was about 12, he hit me and I went down, and he proceeded to kick me in the ribs and gut.

The worst though was the when it took place in public. One time we were in a museum, of all places, and I was so nervous about it being witnessed that I wet my pants.

This is incredibly painful stuff to hear. My father was a very ill man, but because he only lived with us for a few of our early years, we were spared a great deal. We did not escape the misery of a really unhappy family life in other regards, much of it directly attributable to the old man but it was not physical abuse.

The kind of anger and abuse you were subjected to is one big step beyond "spanking" in my mind.

A worthwhile thread......

[Rich Jones]

My mother never spanked us. Her job was to say, "Just wait until your Father gets home!", which would leave us in dread for the rest of the day. I'd hide under the bed when I heard the door open, but he'd call me out and I'd get one or two smacks on the backside. But, his hands were the size of tennis rackets! Didn't really hurt, but I sure learned the lesson. Then my mother would come in and comfort me. Only happened a couple of times when I was 6-7 years old.
Never spanked my own kids. A small slap in the face once in a while when they were disrespectful. A sharp rebuke usually did the trick. I'm told by them, now that they're grown up, that I had a very effective "mad-dad" voice.

[Soundbounder]

This is incredibly painful stuff to hear. My father was a very ill man, but because he only lived with us for a few of our early years, we were spared a great deal. We did not escape the misery of a really unhappy family life in other regards, much of it directly attributable to the old man but it was not physical abuse.

The kind of anger and abuse you were subjected to is one big step beyond "spanking" in my mind.

A worthwhile thread......

Yeah, it wasn't like today where there's so much more awareness of the tell-tale signs, and places you can turn to. Back then, a cop or a priest would tell my father to cool off and they'd take a walk around the block.

My mom was afraid of him, and many times she had packed us up in the car and left.....only to return a few days later. Wasn't till I was in HS that she left for good.

Remarkably.....other than a random outburst in the Bilge, and occasional bouts of depression, none of us are firing rifles from the top of clock towers. One brother seemed to be following in his footsteps by being unable to control his violence, but he quit the booze and appears to have overcome it for a decade now.

[Chip-skiff]

Mum used to growl a lot and sometimes she'd nip us when she was really annoyed.



But she never drew blood.

[fishrswim]

I was. too many times. It only made me mad. Belts, hair brushes, green switches off a handy tree, fly swatters, open hand, lariat rope, baling wire, you name it we got it. After I was about 7 I refused to cry no matter how bad it hurt.

Also the neanderthals I had as teachers in Texas were proud of their paddles which they used to enforce "discipline". They were elaborately carved and varnished, made usually of 1x4s, sometimes of 2x4s and often with holes drilled in them so they really popped when you were hit. One old gal who "taught" 6th grade geography could hit so hard it lifted the kids feet off the floor. Today these people would go to jail for some of the things they did.

Imagine getting "swats" at football practice for missing a tackle or a block, being last when running wind sprints. Or at BB practice for missing a lay up or the famous "not hustling". Great motivators these guys.

Spanking is just a different word for beating. Big people beating little people is a bad practice.

But don't get me started.

[skuthorp]

Huh, ya gotta pay attention, I just quoted myself!

[Tom Montgomery]

Spanked? No. Strapped with a leather belt.

The belt was hung on the door knob of the coat closet to serve as a constant warning.

I think there are better ways to correct children. YMMV.

[Waddie]

You only spank because you're bigger than they are. Spanking is bullying, plain and simple. Almost all spanking is done out of anger, annoyance or impulse. Wait a few minutes before spanking and you wouldn't do it. Try counting to ten.

If even then you can't control your violent impulses, try picking on some one you own size.

Is there a specific reason to resurrect this old thread?

regards,
Waddie

[Tom Montgomery]

I actually think adults can use their size to advantage in correcting children.

Having said that, I see no need for striking children.

[AussieBarney]

nine broken bones from a rotten, drunken, violent, savage a**ehole of a father before I was twelve years old. Ask Paul Pless, You cant train a horse or a dog using fear or violence. Why is it you think you can train a human child using the technique.

[Meli]

My father was a gentle man.
My mother was brought up with 5 sibs and 3 step sibs.
My grandma who (I remember as a chubby,kind, jolly redhead bringing comics and sweets and cakes) I later learned was a violent, frightened woman. too many kids to care for in a war. Strain must have been awful. The only boy in the family used to get beaten and locked in the cupboard. she probably lashed out at the girls too.

next generation? my mother used to lash out with my elder sister (usually a full faced slap) Me, she once grabbed round the neck and "throttled"

I dont think she hit the two youger ones.

I dont think my elder sister has ever hit her boys
I've smacked mine on the bum (daughter 2-3 times, son once. two or three sharp slaps), much to my shame.
I just lost it. I think I would feel worse if I planned it.
As several here have said. Never hit little people.

My younger sister regularly just casually hits her son across the head.

My brother would rather eat glass than discipline his kids in any way.

Oddly, my elder sisters and my kids are the best of 8. well mannered, mature good kids.
My younger sibs kids are brats.

So my conclusion is that the odd light smack on the bum does no harm whatsoever.
But regular, out of the blue, inconsistent blows, or no sort of discipline whatsoever, produces either angry kids that dont understand consistency or whats right or wrong. Or smug spoiled little brats.


I think tendencies to violence against children is part learned and part inherited disposition

[Tom Montgomery]

Examine how animals correct their young. They use their size to advantage to correct their young without employing violence.

They cuff their young, hover above them and growl, physically move them about, etc., all without physically harming them. If only human beings were so wise.

[Lew Barrett]

You only spank because you're bigger than they are. Spanking is bullying, plain and simple. Almost all spanking is done out of anger, annoyance or impulse. Wait a few minutes before spanking and you wouldn't do it. Try counting to ten.

If even then you can't control your violent impulses, try picking on some one you own size.

Is there a specific reason to resurrect this old thread?

regards,
Waddie

In 100% agreement.

Like George, I think this is a kosher subject if somebody feels the need to delve into it.

[Bob Adams]

nine broken bones from a rotten, drunken, violent, savage a**ehole of a father before I was twelve years old. Ask Paul Pless, You cant train a horse or a dog using fear or violence. Why is it you think you can train a human child using the technique.

I don't think you can equate the beating dealt in a drunken rage to a measured swat on the bum administered by a concerned parent.

[Meli]

Bringing these things out into the open can only be good in the long run.

Like mental illness in the family, child abuse, alcoholism etc.
There are many families that keep "secrets". Better for the next generation to be warned and shame free to prevent perpetuation.

My kids father's family have a long generational history of alcoholism and mental illness. It would have been better for both sons of that family to be fully and accurately informed, they might have been more careful of their own habits.

My kids are aware and educated.

[bobbys]

If the brats hid the good Halloween candy from me i used to waterboard them till the libs got all hissy/pissy about it..

Then i Reasoned with them.

Or waited till they fell asleep then raided the bags for MandMs.

[bamamick]

I started this bloody thread and can't even remember why, but if has done a wee bit of good to let people get some painful memories off their chests then I am glad I did it.

Mickey Lake

[Paul Pless]

I started this bloody thread and can't even remember why, but if has done a wee bit of good to let people get some painful memories off their chests then I am glad I did it.

Mickey Lake

Do you still not want to hear about me being spanked by Katherine?