I have posted here before that I take an anti-depressant, and have for several years. Lately I have been going through a bit of a rough time. Tough at work, several serious family illnesses, including my father, the hurricanes and all of the damage done by them.In general it's just been a pretty sad time around here lately.
The bottom line is that even my meds have not been working. I have been hearing those voices in my head lately, the voices that never stop talking and won't let me rest. Usually I say the Lord's Prayer and that helps to calm my mind, but after a few moments I can't even pray without my mind getting cluttered.
Last week I took a vacation and worked on some of my boats. I got the deck painted on the schooner. Did a lot of varnishing. Took off many of the pieces (tiller, companionway hatch cover, engine hatch cover, boom crutch, etc.) and sanded and varnished them at home. Painted the running light covers. Scrubbed and cleaned the Beetle Cat. Got my Finn back from the shop and started re-rigging it and getting ready for racing. Hard but enjoyable work.
I can breathe again.I can think about one thing at a time for the first time in months. I can put a genuine smile on my face for the first time in months. I sat and had a conversation with one of my daughters today and really enjoyed her company. In other words, I am happy again, and I give all of the credit to the boats.
I have always lived with and around boats. I have owned my own boat since I was a kid. They are hard to keep up some of the time, and they are expensive almost all of the time, but no one will ever tell me that it's not worth it. I know differently. Everyone needs a purpose and mine is apparently, at least in part, to take care of boats. I'm not very good at it, but I suppose that I need them as much as they need me.
A different kind of therapy that works for some of us. Thank goodness.