Americans in Europe- strange people!

[LeeG]

My daughter was trying to get used to strangers saying to her in passing,”You’ve got your hands full” when she’s walking with the twins and three kids while in Maine. After it happening a few times a day she was wondering what responses to give.

[Joe (SoCal)]

On the desk last week, greeting visitors to our museum.
Americans always come in breezily, with "Hi, how are you".
I confess I do not know how to reply. They do not know me, so why are they interested?
I could list my rheumatism, my hernia, etc, etc, but I doubt they would really want to know.
So what is the correct reply?

Your'e weird and you should find a different vocation.

[C. Ross]

Standard informal French greeting is “Ça va?” with an uplifted voice.

Which is of course “It goes?”

To which the response is “Ça va” spoken on the downstroke. “It goes”.

A formal greeting in French is also “How are you” - “Comment allez-vous?”

Identical to the American “how’s it going” and “how are you”. Are you accusing Americans of being too French? 🇫🇷

[birlinn]

Your'e weird and you should find a different vocation.

Thanks Joe, but you do not know me, and I am quite happy volunteering one morning a week.
I always try to be courteous and helpful- last week I was told "it's great being here, everyone is so friendly", so I will take that visitor's unprompted comment, made as they left the museum, over your assessment.

And someone who throws a wobbly, drives through exits when told not to, and shreds his tyres, calls me weird!

PS: I suppose the idea of a museum being a charity, run entirely by unpaid volunteers, could seem weird to some....

[isla]

Re #64 - the usual response is "Nae bad - yersel?" followed by "Aye, nae bad, nae bad at a' " from the first questioner. There is no sense of intrusive questioing or "nosiness", it's just a polite opening exchange which may end there or lead to further conversation.
It seems to me that every language and culture has something of the sort. In England there is still the archaic "How do you do?" to which the reply is, strangely, "How do you do?".
Germans say "Wie geht es dir?" - "How are you?"

[Andrew2]

All probably dates from wondering if the person has something infectious and to keep one's distance...

How are you? Not so good, might be the Black Death.. And you? (spoken to an empty space..)

[SKIP KILPATRICK]

All probably dates from wondering if the person has something infectious and to keep one's distance...

How are you? Not so good, might be the Black Death.. And you? (spoken to an empty space..)

which is very relevant today!

[LeeG]

After much thought the appropriate response can be…..good.

[bamamick]

Why can't we all just get along?



Mickey Lake

[Jack Loudon]

My daughter was trying to get used to strangers saying to her in passing,”You’ve got your hands full” when she’s walking with the twins and three kids while in Maine. After it happening a few times a day she was wondering what responses to give.

I got that a lot when my 4 kids were small, and always took it as a sympathetic and friendly comment.

Also heard 'looks like you've f**ked yourself away from the dinner table'

[Joe (SoCal)]

Thanks Joe, but you do not know me, and I am quite happy volunteering one morning a week.
I always try to be courteous and helpful- last week I was told "it's great being here, everyone is so friendly", so I will take that visitor's unprompted comment, made as they left the museum, over your assessment.

And someone who throws a wobbly, drives through exits when told not to, and shreds his tyres, calls me weird!

PS: I suppose the idea of a museum being a charity, run entirely by unpaid volunteers, could seem weird to some....

I'm me and it's always been open and share far too much, and yes I'm weird in my own way, but thats not the subject of this thread ( amazing how many times this happens )

Anyway, this is about your assertion that "Americans in Europe- strange people!" Simply because someone said a pleasantry "Hi, how are you".
and you do not know how to reply ??????

DUDE ! That is by definition weird. Maybe go volunteer at the DMV, I hear some people write nice reviews there too

[AndyG]

Maybe go volunteer at the DMV, I hear some people write nice reviews there too

Joe...

(One big edit later)

...I don't get the antagonising.
...mebbe best not do a TV thing, huh?

Andy

[birlinn]

I'll try and ignore him and his ego, Andy.

[AndyG]

...Mebbe best.

(Another big edit, to save my membership)

Of course, "When in Rome..."

Andy

[Dave Hadfield]

After much thought the appropriate response can be…..good.

Absolutely.

But when these greetings are combined with one-up-man-ship-games, "BAD" is a better response.

[Bobcat]

One of my banks clearly told the tellers to make chit chat with the customers during the transaction. One young woman asked me, "so, do you have plans for the rest of the day?" She turned quite red when I responded, "Are you asking me out?"

[artif]

No too bad

[Joe (SoCal)]

Joe...

(One big edit later)

...I don't get the antagonising.
...mebbe best not do a TV thing, huh?

Andy

Have you ever watch ANY reality TV ? Antagonizing is written in the script

[LeeG]

No too bad

that was fun

[Joe (SoCal)]

[birlinn]

Re. Bill Bailey's "It could be worse", I remember old Lincolnshire people, when asked "How are you", replying with "Oh, fair to middling", which translates as "fine, thankyou".
Another version was "Oh, can't grumble"
I can recommend Kate Fox's book, "Watching the English- the hidden rules of English behaviour". One quote: "Home is what the insular, inhibited English have instead of social skills"

ETA: She is right; the English/Brits are inhibited and insular.
If meeting a stranger, we seldom speak, other than, if you are lucky, "Hello" or "Good Morning (or Afternoon)".
"How are you" is reserved for people we know. A total stranger breezily asking " Hi, How are YOU?" is regarded as being personal, even intrusive.

Self deprecation is the rule too. If you are the millionaire head of a multinational firm, when asked what you do, we would probably reply "Oh, I have a bit of a job in the city; I suppose we are reasonably comfortable. We have a bit of a cottage in the Cotswolds". (Which would of course be an Elizabethan manor house in its own parklands.)
Definitely "Not Done", and rude and intrusive to ask how much a person earns, and "Not Done" to boast about your own income, or let on that you have a PhD/received a Nobel Prize/are actually a Duke. If it is discovered that you do have a PhD, it would be rather guiltily admitted, followed by "yes, I suppose I was a terrible swot"

And then there's irony. If two Brits were standing together waist deep in floodwater, the comment would probably be "A bit damp today".

Testing another hypothesis, Kate Fox "accidently" bumped into fellow pedestrians in crowded UK streets. In almost every case, both persons automatically muttered "Sorry".

Brits are very different from Americans and Italians.
So if you think us weird, from our point of view, so are others!

[Breakaway]

Re. Bill Bailey's "It could be worse", I remember old Lincolnshire people, when asked "How are you", replying with "Oh, fair to middling", which translates as "fine, thankyou".
Another version was "Oh, can't grumble"
I can recommend Kate Fox's book, "Watching the English- the hidden rules of English behaviour". One quote: "Home is what the insular, inhibited English have instead of social skills"

ETA: She is right; the English/Brits are inhibited and insular.
If meeting a stranger, we seldom speak, other than, if you are lucky, "Hello" or "Good Morning (or Afternoon)".
"How are you" is reserved for people we know. A total stranger breezily asking " Hi, How are YOU?" is regarded as being personal, even intrusive.

Self deprecation is the rule too. If you are the millionaire head of a multinational firm, when asked what you do, we would probably reply "Oh, I have a bit of a job in the city; I suppose we are reasonably comfortable. We have a bit of a cottage in the Cotswolds". (Which would of course be an Elizabethan manor house in its own parklands.)
Definitely "Not Done", and rude and intrusive to ask how much a person earns, and "Not Done" to boast about your own income, or let on that you have a PhD/received a Nobel Prize/are actually a Duke. If it is discovered that you do have a PhD, it would be rather guiltily admitted, followed by "yes, I suppose I was a terrible swot"

And then there's irony. If two Brits were standing together waist deep in floodwater, the comment would probably be "A bit damp today".

Testing another hypothesis, Kate Fox "accidently" bumped into fellow pedestrians in crowded UK streets. In almost every case, both persons automatically muttered "Sorry".

Brits are very different from Americans and Italians.
So if you think us weird, from our point of view, so are others!

Are you sure about that?

As pointed out by various forumites on this thread, asking how are you is a common greeting in multiple languages and in cultures from all corners of the globe.

Kevin


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[oldcodger]

I think it has changed over time. It was used in the past but less so and varied regionally. I recall my boss in the 1970s reply to "How are you" was "pretty miserable" which usually stopped people in their tracks.

I listen to radio phone-ins and it is now almost universal for callers to ask the host how he/she is, which I find irritating. Having listened to the same answer 40 times over the previous 2 hours they should know by now.

What is even worse is when they ask how are you and do not pause for an answer.

Obviously we are talking about generalisations, nations with millions of people are not identical but can have on average a shared culture.

I tend not to judge whether they are right or wrong but some aspects may make me uncomfortable.

I can relate to most of Birlinn's post #91.

Expressions can be illogical such as "all corners of the globe" one that I find I use so I am not criticising its use. Another is when the Police trot out "No stone will be left unturned" in an investigation, obviously ridiculous but I get the idea.

[WI-Tom]

And then there's irony. If two Brits were standing together waist deep in floodwater, the comment would probably be "A bit damp today".

Is it a British thing to confuse understatement with irony?

Tom

[Joe (SoCal)]

Re. Bill Bailey's "It could be worse", I remember old Lincolnshire people, when asked "How are you", replying with "Oh, fair to middling", which translates as "fine, thankyou".
Another version was "Oh, can't grumble"
I can recommend Kate Fox's book, "Watching the English- the hidden rules of English behaviour". One quote: "Home is what the insular, inhibited English have instead of social skills"

ETA: She is right; the English/Brits are inhibited and insular.
If meeting a stranger, we seldom speak, other than, if you are lucky, "Hello" or "Good Morning (or Afternoon)".
"How are you" is reserved for people we know. A total stranger breezily asking " Hi, How are YOU?" is regarded as being personal, even intrusive.

Self deprecation is the rule too. If you are the millionaire head of a multinational firm, when asked what you do, we would probably reply "Oh, I have a bit of a job in the city; I suppose we are reasonably comfortable. We have a bit of a cottage in the Cotswolds". (Which would of course be an Elizabethan manor house in its own parklands.)
Definitely "Not Done", and rude and intrusive to ask how much a person earns, and "Not Done" to boast about your own income, or let on that you have a PhD/received a Nobel Prize/are actually a Duke. If it is discovered that you do have a PhD, it would be rather guiltily admitted, followed by "yes, I suppose I was a terrible swot"

And then there's irony. If two Brits were standing together waist deep in floodwater, the comment would probably be "A bit damp today".

Testing another hypothesis, Kate Fox "accidently" bumped into fellow pedestrians in crowded UK streets. In almost every case, both persons automatically muttered "Sorry".

Brits are very different from Americans and Italians.
So if you think us weird, from our point of view, so are others!

I like Italians

[artif]

Not sure about confusing, but definitely understatement is the order of the day.
My climbing partner and I used to do some quite desperate finger nail ripping arse twitching climbs. The worst got labelled as "interesting" in a very droll tone, the mildly desperate were just "amusing" anything else was a "path"

Is it a British thing to confuse understatement with irony?

Tom