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Thread: Wife passed this AM

  1. #71
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    You have my deepest sympathies, sir. I wish for yourself and your family the healing of peace and that the good memories come quickly to you all.

    Mickey Lake
    'A disciple of the Norse god of aesthetically pleasing boats, Johan Anker'

  2. #72
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Hello John,
    I don't know you at all....
    But that doesn't lessen the sorrow my heart feels for you!
    Alan

  3. #73
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    My condolences. I sounds like she was a great partner

  4. #74
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Quote Originally Posted by elf View Post
    Rejoice and mourn.

    Rejoice that her passing was so brief, that she did not linger for many months.

    Mourn the huge hole in your new life, and the loss of her companionship of so many years.

    Rejoice that you are among the few who actually achieved such a wonderful connection and sustained it for so many years.

    Rejoice that your children are at your side and stepping up to the tasks at hand.

    Mourn the so sudden change in your life plan.

    The mourning is the important part.
    Very thoughtful. Thanks.

    I appreciate all the the posts here. It's like you're all my best friends.
    "Banning books and not guns seems backwards. Can't think of anyone ever shot by a book

  5. #75
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Quote Originally Posted by CWSmith View Post
    I am very sorry to hear that, John. I hope you can find comfort in your daughter and grandchildren.
    At least she got to see the great grands, even if only for 11 months.
    "Banning books and not guns seems backwards. Can't think of anyone ever shot by a book

  6. #76
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Quote Originally Posted by epoxyboy View Post
    Condolences John. 54 years, there must be a lot of good memories.

    Pete
    Many indeed. Perhaps the best if those who told us it wouldn't last.
    "Banning books and not guns seems backwards. Can't think of anyone ever shot by a book

  7. #77
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    We met in a rather odd way. Mutual friends asked me if I could give June a ride to Misty's birthday party. They gave me her number. She couldn't make the party, but somehow we jut kept talking.

    We finally made a date for Saturday. When I went to pick her up, she wasn't home. I called Misty, who had no idea where she was, but she and Neil decided they'd treat me to some pool. After that I decided I'd treat them to a meal at West's Diner.

    As we were eating two girls walked in. When June saw Misty and Neal, she noticed a guy she didn't know. Then she remembered our date. Most embarrassed person I think I've ever seen.

    And that was how we met.
    "Banning books and not guns seems backwards. Can't think of anyone ever shot by a book

  8. #78
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    54 years, y’all both must have chosen well John. Can’t imagine the void this must leave. Here’s to hoping the pain eases and leaves you with just many good memories.
    Fight Entropy, build a wooden boat!

  9. #79
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Peace and strength to you and your family, John.
    Keep telling the good stories. My daughter *feels* like she knew her great-grandfather, who died when she was 3. She knows him through our stories of the good memories.
    "Visionary" is he who in every egg sees a carbonara.

  10. #80
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Definitely the toughest thing I've ever gone through.
    "Banning books and not guns seems backwards. Can't think of anyone ever shot by a book

  11. #81
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    I am so very very sorry. As you and others have said, even when it is expected, it is still hard.

    Hugs from Florida -
    M

  12. #82
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Sincere condolences.
    Gerard>
    Albuquerque, NM

    Every Republican is an obstacle to progress.

  13. #83
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    A friend once observed to me that emotions are like the weather. They're real, and they have an enormous effect on us, but they're variable. They'll pass, both the lovely emotions and the ones when we're going through Hell.

    The first lie that emotions tell us in that moment - especially the negative emotions - is that they're endless. That it will always be as one feels at that moment. The second lie emotions tell us is that whatever we're feeling is an accurate description of the outside, external world. Of what is.

    Instead, emotions are really telling us how we're experiencing that external world, right now. How we're interpreting the experience.

    So if you can, notice and watch and feel the emotions, but try to allow them to be the wind, to blow through your mind and heart. Honor them for what they are, and experience them, but try to let them ebb and flow through rather than be something you hang onto. It doesn't mean you love any less (or any more) if you try to disentangle the emotions you feel, from the "you" who's feeling them.

    This is gonna be awful for a while, John. For which I'm really sorry.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  14. #84
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    So sorry, John. Even when it's expected, even if there's suffering, even if "it's for the best", it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Eventually it will hurt a little less, just a little. Talk to us here any time you want, come and scream down the well, or into the wind, or howl at the stars, we'll listen.
    Dwedais "Gwirion", nid "Twp"

  15. #85
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    John, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will have many good memories to sustain you.
    "George Washington as a boy
    was ignorant of the commonest
    accomplishments of youth.
    He could not even lie."

    -- Mark Twain

  16. #86
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    John my condolences to you and your family. The how you met story is heartwarming, thanks for posting it.
    Yachting, the only sport where you get to be a mechanic, electrician, plumber and carpenter

  17. #87
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    I'm posting this for Michael Mason (mmd):

    Hello, John;

    I was saddened to hear of the passing of your wife. I cannot imagine your pain, but given the losses I and my family have suffered in the past two years, I think that I can relate in some small way. Such losses after so many decades of loving togetherness is a horrible thing to have to endure. I hope that you are able to gain the needed strength to endure this loss by wrapping yourself in the love and friendship of all those around you who share your loss.

    My mother passed away almost twenty years ago, and I miss her just about every day. She was not much of a church-goer, but she thought deeply about spiritualism, what becomes of us after death, and whether we have a choice about our lives and passings. She once told me that she believed that people really don’t die until nobody remembers them anymore, and that the comfort of the passed loved one depends on whether people remember them in good memories or bad. When she died, she said, she wanted all her family and friends to gather together and tell stories of the good times they had spent with her, of the laughter and the love, the pratfalls and the silly mistakes, and to laugh. Laugh long and laugh hard, so that she would hear it wherever she was, and it would make her smile.

    Gather your friends and your family together, John, and tell each other stories of how well loved your wife was, and tell funny stories of your times together. Laugh. Laugh so loud in the face of death so that your wife will hear you, and it will ease her passing and make her smile.

    Due to my recent banning from this Forum I am only able to post these condolences to you due to the generosity of Garret. Thank-you Garret; I sincerely hope that the moderator will not punish you for aiding and abetting me in this missive.

    John, you have my sincere condolences, and I will smile when I think of you and your wife together in happier times. I hope that your wife will feel my smile and it will bring her a wee bit of contentment.


    Sincerely,

    Michael Mason (mmd)

    [Garret comment] I can't believe anyone would have an issue with my posting this for Michael & if anyone does - too bad...
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  18. #88
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    John, I lost my wife of 45 years in March of 2004 and a loss like that is a hard thing to deal with. I will give you this piece of advice ....."Follow your grief for a period of time (for me it was 6 months) as well a you can and then make the decision to find another".........many will say "that's cold as ice" but I'm telling you that it's reality and the sooner you move on with living, the better. You have my sincere condolences.

    And Garret and Michael (mmd).......thanks for a wonderfully thoughtful idea if combining your condolences under one thread.......two great guys!
    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation......Thoreau

  19. #89
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Terribly sad news. My sincere condolonces.

  20. #90
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Sincere condolences, at 52 years with same spouse I can understand your loss.

  21. #91
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    Had a very nice gathering at my daughter's home to remember June. 40 people showed up, some for me and some for our daughters. So many great memories were shared. Given that the Mrs. drank nothing but ginger ale for the last several years we had a ginger ale toast, and I was asked to speak before we toasted. One of the guests recorded it and will send it to me, and I guess I'll post it here. They all said I did good, but I had no idea what I was going to say when I stood up.

    I'm sure glad I'm not going through this alone.
    "Banning books and not guns seems backwards. Can't think of anyone ever shot by a book

  22. #92
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    Default Re: Wife passed this AM

    At MaryEllen's celebration I knew what I was going to say . . . before I stood. All of the script fled my mind, including that I was holding it in hand.

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