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Thread: New Lyrics, Old Songs

  1. #1
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    Default New Lyrics, Old Songs

    While driving yesterday, I amused myself by creating some new verses to "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean." Offered here for your amusement:

    My Bonnie had lots of pirhanas.
    Among them she'd wade daintily.
    Then one day she slipped--she's a goner.
    Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Another :

    My Bonnie once bought a black mamba
    from Amazon--shipping was free.
    She opened the box... Ai caramba!
    Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Wait--there's more!

    My Bonnie loved to go rock climbing--
    A dangerous sport, you'll agree.
    Then last week: some rockfall--bad timing. (insert shrug here)
    Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    And more...

    My Bonnie became a BASE jumper,
    And leaped from a clifftop with me.
    Her landing--chute closed--was a thumper.
    Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    How about the Hannibal Lecter version of Cry Me A River?

    Fry me a liver
    Fry me a liver
    I fried a liver over you
    Structures without reference to geometry tend toward the ramshackle

  6. #6
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    And more yet...

    My Bonnie crashed down in the Andes.
    From the wreckage she finally crawled free.
    That soccer team seemed very friendly...
    Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.
    Last edited by WI-Tom; 06-30-2022 at 08:41 AM.
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  7. #7
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    OK, done for now. What have you got?

    Tom
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  8. #8
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by isla View Post
    How about the Hannibal Lecter version of Cry Me A River?

    Fry me a liver
    Fry me a liver
    I fried a liver over you
    That lyric immediately qualifies you for a job as a summer camp counselor--when shall I tell my wife (the camp director) you will be arriving?

    Tom
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    ^
    Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

    My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
    My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
    My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
    And she is just fifteen years old
    etc.
    Structures without reference to geometry tend toward the ramshackle

  10. #10
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by isla View Post
    ^
    Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

    My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
    My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
    My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
    And she is just fifteen years old
    etc.
    OK, now you qualify as head counselor.

    Tom
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  11. #11
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Cheryl Wheeler did "Potato" to the tune of "The Mexican Hat Dance":

    They're red, they're white, they're brown
    They get that way underground
    There can't be much to do
    So now they have blue ones too.

    We don't care what they look like, we'll eat them
    Any way they can fit on our plate
    Any way we can conjure to heat them
    We're delighted and think they're just great.

    Po-ta-to Po-ta-to Po-ta-to Po
    Ta-to-Po Ta-to-Po Ta-to-Po Ta
    To-Po-ta To-Po-ta To-po-ta To

    Potato Potato
    Potato Potato
    Potato Potato
    Potato

    <etc...>
    Sometimes you've gotta leave the kibble out where the slow dogs can get some....
    ... Roy Blount, Jr.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by isla View Post
    ^
    Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

    My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
    My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
    My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
    And she is just fifteen years old
    etc.
    Oh, that's GOOD!
    "For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations,
    for nature cannot be fooled."

    Richard Feynman

  13. #13
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by isla View Post
    ^
    Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

    My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
    My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
    My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
    And she is just fifteen years old
    etc.
    A bit understated, but quite good!
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  14. #14
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    For those who don't know the old labor song, 'Joe Hill', here it is. I rewrote it as a tribute for a much-loved boating companion. Sang it a capella for our boating group after his death.



    Joe Hill Rewrite

    JimBallou Tribute

    1. I dreamed I saw Jim Ballou last night
    Alive as you and me
    But Jim, I said, you’re 1year dead I never died said he
    I never died said he.

    2. The cancer bug is slew you Jim It laid you low, says I
    Takes more than cancer to kill a man
    Says Jim, I didn’t die
    Says Jim, I didn’t die.

    3. While standing there beside his boat
    And smiling with his eyes
    Says Jim some things you’ll never kill
    Fine friendships realized Fine friendships realized.

    4. From far Toledo up to SanJuan
    In every bay and slough
    Where boating folk enjoy the waves
    It’s there you’ll find Ballou
    It’s there you’ll find Ballou.

    Repeat v.1



    Last edited by David G; 06-30-2022 at 09:06 AM.
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  15. #15
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Tom, did some girl named Bonnie do you wrong? That's dark!

    I love writing new lyrics. Sadly, mine are cr@p. Great job!
    "Where you live in the world should not determine whether you live in the world." - Bono

    "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

  16. #16
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Quote Originally Posted by CWSmith View Post
    Tom, did some girl named Bonnie do you wrong? That's dark!
    After 10+ years working at summer camp, I do know my audience.

    They had a repeat after me "Bear Song" that ended with the narrator getting away. I wrote a "Bear Song Part II" ending... differently. Here's a bit of that--you'll have to imagine a jaunty happy tune that provides the crucial ironic contrast with the subject matter:

    Synopsis of earlier verses: meet a bear, start running away, bear pursues, and then:

    I heard the sound (I heard the sound)
    Of ripping cloth (of ripping cloth)
    As that bear tore (as that bear tore)
    My arm right off (My arm right off)
    (All together) I heard the sound of ripping cloth as that bear tore my arm right off!

    Well I kept on (well I kept on)
    Although it hurt (although it hurt)
    Because it was (because it was)
    My favorite shirt (my favorite shirt)
    Etc.

    But my left arm (but my left arm)
    Made just a snack (made just a snack)
    And that old bear (and that old bear)
    Came right on back. (came right on back)

    The next limb mauled (the next limb mauled)
    Was my right leg (was my right leg)
    He snapped the fee- (he snapped the fee-)
    Mur like a twig. (mur like a twig)

    You get the idea...

    Tom
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  17. #17
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    Default Re: New Lyrics, Old Songs

    Vera Lynn wartime classic..

    Real meat again
    Don't know where
    Don't know when
    But we'll eat meat again some sunny day.

    Keep smiling through
    Your vegetable stew
    Until a sirloin drives the dark clouds far away.
    Structures without reference to geometry tend toward the ramshackle

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