New Lyrics, Old Songs

[WI-Tom]

While driving yesterday, I amused myself by creating some new verses to "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean." Offered here for your amusement:

My Bonnie had lots of pirhanas.
Among them she'd wade daintily.
Then one day she slipped--she's a goner.
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.

[WI-Tom]

Another :

My Bonnie once bought a black mamba
from Amazon--shipping was free.
She opened the box... Ai caramba!
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.

[WI-Tom]

Wait--there's more!

My Bonnie loved to go rock climbing--
A dangerous sport, you'll agree.
Then last week: some rockfall--bad timing. (insert shrug here)
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.

[WI-Tom]

And more...

My Bonnie became a BASE jumper,
And leaped from a clifftop with me.
Her landing--chute closed--was a thumper.
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.

[isla]

How about the Hannibal Lecter version of Cry Me A River?

Fry me a liver
Fry me a liver
I fried a liver over you

[WI-Tom]

And more yet...

My Bonnie crashed down in the Andes.
From the wreckage she finally crawled free.
That soccer team seemed very friendly...
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me etc.

[WI-Tom]

OK, done for now. What have you got?

Tom

[WI-Tom]

How about the Hannibal Lecter version of Cry Me A River?

Fry me a liver
Fry me a liver
I fried a liver over you

That lyric immediately qualifies you for a job as a summer camp counselor--when shall I tell my wife (the camp director) you will be arriving?

Tom

[isla]

^
Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
And she is just fifteen years old
etc.

[WI-Tom]

^
Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
And she is just fifteen years old
etc.

OK, now you qualify as head counselor.

Tom

[Uncle Duke]

Cheryl Wheeler did "Potato" to the tune of "The Mexican Hat Dance":

They're red, they're white, they're brown
They get that way underground
There can't be much to do
So now they have blue ones too.

We don't care what they look like, we'll eat them
Any way they can fit on our plate
Any way we can conjure to heat them
We're delighted and think they're just great.

Po-ta-to Po-ta-to Po-ta-to Po
Ta-to-Po Ta-to-Po Ta-to-Po Ta
To-Po-ta To-Po-ta To-po-ta To

Potato Potato
Potato Potato
Potato Potato
Potato

<etc...>

[Keith Wilson]

^
Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
And she is just fifteen years old
etc.

Oh, that's GOOD!

[David G]

^
Here's a tribute to my Triumph Bonneville which I had back in the 70s

My Bonnie leaks oil on the pavement
My Bonnie won't start if it's cold
My Bonnie's had seventeen rebuilds
And she is just fifteen years old
etc.

A bit understated, but quite good!

[David G]

For those who don't know the old labor song, 'Joe Hill', here it is. I rewrote it as a tribute for a much-loved boating companion. Sang it a capella for our boating group after his death.

Joe Hill Rewrite

JimBallou Tribute

1. I dreamed I saw Jim Ballou last night
Alive as you and me
But Jim, I said, you’re 1year dead I never died said he
I never died said he.

2. The cancer bug is slew you Jim It laid you low, says I
Takes more than cancer to kill a man
Says Jim, I didn’t die
Says Jim, I didn’t die.

3. While standing there beside his boat
And smiling with his eyes
Says Jim some things you’ll never kill
Fine friendships realized Fine friendships realized.

4. From far Toledo up to SanJuan
In every bay and slough
Where boating folk enjoy the waves
It’s there you’ll find Ballou
It’s there you’ll find Ballou.

Repeat v.1

[CWSmith]

Tom, did some girl named Bonnie do you wrong? That's dark!

I love writing new lyrics. Sadly, mine are cr@p. Great job!

[WI-Tom]

Tom, did some girl named Bonnie do you wrong? That's dark!

After 10+ years working at summer camp, I do know my audience.

They had a repeat after me "Bear Song" that ended with the narrator getting away. I wrote a "Bear Song Part II" ending... differently. Here's a bit of that--you'll have to imagine a jaunty happy tune that provides the crucial ironic contrast with the subject matter:

Synopsis of earlier verses: meet a bear, start running away, bear pursues, and then:

I heard the sound (I heard the sound)
Of ripping cloth (of ripping cloth)
As that bear tore (as that bear tore)
My arm right off (My arm right off)
(All together) I heard the sound of ripping cloth as that bear tore my arm right off!

Well I kept on (well I kept on)
Although it hurt (although it hurt)
Because it was (because it was)
My favorite shirt (my favorite shirt)
Etc.

But my left arm (but my left arm)
Made just a snack (made just a snack)
And that old bear (and that old bear)
Came right on back. (came right on back)

The next limb mauled (the next limb mauled)
Was my right leg (was my right leg)
He snapped the fee- (he snapped the fee-)
Mur like a twig. (mur like a twig)

You get the idea...

Tom

[isla]

Vera Lynn wartime classic..

Real meat again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But we'll eat meat again some sunny day.

Keep smiling through
Your vegetable stew
Until a sirloin drives the dark clouds far away.