Need help--first time back to US in years!

[James McMullen]

Hey guys, I'm hoping there's some True Patriots here who can help me with some questions. You see, I haven't even set foot in the United States of America since 2019--and that was only for a very short visit . I know I'm out of practice and out of touch at the moment, but I was born in Jesus's Favorite Country, dammit, and I don't wanna risk anyone thinking I'm some kind of damn foreigner by now. So maybe someone can help me get up to date with 2020's America?

1) Does a 30-round clip hold sufficient ammo for a trip to the supermarket if you're just gonna buy a few things? I don't wanna be unprepared.

2) I know the American diet consists principally of meat, saturated fat, and sugar. Can't I save time by just eating sugar-fried meat?

3) How long do I have to Stand My Ground before exercising my Second Amendment rights if I think a minority or a woman or a liberal is threatening my Constitutional Liberties? I have been told they are destroying America.

I am also wanting to make sure I am wearing the right clothes so no one will mistake me for being one of those liberal elites.
What do you think of this lil' number? Is it too subtle? They only have it in sizes up to 4XL, though.

[James McMullen]

This one seems a little more straightforward, honestly. Just back to the basics, you know?
No dancing around the issue like some kind of snooty intellectual.

[James McMullen]

While I'm back, I might just buy some quality Made in the USA furniture, too.
For some reason, the local IKEA just doesn't stock anything like this.

[Hallam]

Observation from afar, shoot first, ask questions later seems to be the standard operating procedure. Take more than one clip? No......take more than one gun!

Regarding the sugar fried meat, sorry........... Americans think the world revolves around you and not the sun! The Brits have one on you in this department as they do in many others!
Here are some recipes that will more than answer your queries:

Tom Kerridge's Treacle-Cured Beef | Dinner Recipes | Woman & Home

( don't you love how the website is Woman & Home and the recipe is by Tom Kerridge )
(( I hope i'm not making gender stereotype false assumptions..... Tom may well be a she or and a he ))......sorry that's my inner Leftie getting the better of me........

and another:

Black Treacle & Miso-Marinated Rump Recipe | Lyle Golden Syrup


Now regarding the shirt, to avoid looking Liberal you need an updated version of the shirt.....the one that has President, YES HE IS STILL OUR PRESIDENT Trump riding the eagle, .......bare chested, rifle in one hand, a bible in the other!

Something along these lines edited into the shirt but with a rifle instead of a rocket launcher so sales go up and to make room for the bible as a prep for the 2024 elections. God this all makes me one happy patriot! God Bless Amerika!




Wako and away we go! Yeee Haar! Howdy Do Dar Day!





....yes of course I'm conflicted......just don't tell my buddies!

[epoxyboy]

Dunno about any of that, the US is a funny place. I'd suggest you ask Yeadon - he's always right.

Pete

[JayInOz]

I like that first picture of the shirt- looks like a chicken in a clown suit. Hey James do you have a furrin accent yet? JayInOz

[doorstop]

One Nation under Cod?
Something fishy about that...

[James McMullen]

.... I'd suggest you ask Yeadon...

Good grief! I can't imagine why you'd think I'd ask Yeadon about Real America™. That dude has been living--entirely by choice!--in that hippie haven of the People's Republic of Seattle for, like, decades, man. He probably owns less than a dozen guns, total! In fact, last time we went to the range to exercise our Constitutional rIGHTS, he had to borrow one of MY guns. Disgraceful.

Plus, I think he even went to college. Probably has a subscription to the New York Times and the Mother Earth News.

I'd maybe ask Yeadon if I wanted a recipe for vegan tofu alfalfa sprout wraps, but not if i wanted the recipe for FREEDOM!!!

[Nicholas Scheuer]

Trump ought'a give his'self an enema with that rocket rifle and cleanse his system.

[mizzenman]

It's easy to get a twisted view of a nation when one observes it from abroad, just my personal experience

[Keith Wilson]

Just stay out of the former Confederate states, maybe Wyoming and Idaho, it'll be OK.

[skuthorp]

It's easy to get a twisted view of a nation when one observes it from abroad, just my personal experience

Maybe so, and I really wanted to spend a year touring your national parks. But was always put off by what Donn told me was your 'culture'. Now the place is far too dangerous for a tourist without a survival course before arriving.

[Keith Wilson]

Maybe so, and I really wanted to spend a year touring your national parks. But was always put off by what Donn told me was your 'culture'. Now the place is far too dangerous for a tourist without a survival course before arriving.

Despite the ancient truth that 'bad news sells papers' (and we have no shortage of bad news) this is objectively false. Nobody gets out of this world alive, but it ain't like you see on the news.

[Paul Pless]

Just stay out of the former Confederate states

haters gonna hate

[Rich Jones]

Maybe so, and I really wanted to spend a year touring your national parks. But was always put off by what Donn told me was your 'culture'. Now the place is far too dangerous for a tourist without a survival course before arriving.

Come to the beautiful state of Vermont, we're sane here.

[Canoez]

This one seems a little more straightforward, honestly. Just back to the basics, you know?
No dancing around the issue like some kind of snooty intellectual.

Pffffttt... Just throw on a MAGA hat and you can become invisible.

[Keith Wilson]

haters gonna hate

Yeah, but my mom was from Georgia, and I went to high school in North Carolina. Haters gonna hate, and I hate some things, but not southerners. But you're taking me way too seriously; similar weirdness can be found in lots of places, just not so often.

[bluedog225]

It’s not possible to advise you without knowing your gender identity, if applicable.

[bluedog225]

And where you stand on the nipple issue.

[JimD]

The country has changed. There are even some Americans who think teachers should not be armed and half trained for shootouts with their students. Wyatt Earp is rolling in his grave.

[jpatrick]

McMullen, you're not fooling anybody with this act. But... if you put a 30 horse on Rowan, I, for one, will consider that a credible step into the void.

Jeff

[JimD]

^ Even though several arms manufacturers have offered free on line courses on conflict resolution in the classroom featuring their weapons.

[LeeG]

Just stay out of the former Confederate states, maybe Wyoming and Idaho, it'll be OK.

Now, now Keith. We are replacing them.

[L.W. Baxter]

hope you can stifle your attitude long enough to avoid the cavity search at customs.

just blink twice if you brought the stuff

[hawkeye54]

All I gotta say, if you are wearing that 'Speedo' attire in post # 2 - Is : Ensure you have 'cleared leather' before wrapping your finger around the trigger - just saying . .



Rick

[Rich Jones]

I want to go visit Singapore but have a few questions first.

(1) Will I have total freedom of speech? I've heard there are strict limits on that.
(2) Will I have total freedom to meet with any group I want? I've heard there are strict limits on associating with groups that might oppose the official government positions.
(3) Will I be able to criticize the government in a newspaper article? I've heard there is very limited freedom of the press.
(4) Can I buy sugar-fried meat there?

[L.W. Baxter]

people are saying you can be caned for chewing gum

[Osborne Russell]

You guys are heavy on the irony, satire, and sarcasm.

[Ted Hoppe]

Does it work?

Screen Shot 2022-06-08 at 8.38.12 AM.jpg

[Ralphie Boy]

Just to make sure you don’t get mistaken for an American liberal, I would recommend getting a lifted pickup truck and flying the largest American Flag you can find from the truck bed. Remember, you will be safe if the gun nuts think you are a patriotic American, and the bigger the flag, the more patriotic you will seem to be.

[Hugh MacD]

Don't forget the full camo outfit and flak vest. Open carry with at least four magazines (for each firearm) in a tactical harness.

[Yeadon]

Personally, I think James might feel safer here in America if he got himself a fatsuit. No reason to stand out amongst his peers.


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[Dave Gray]

6674084[/URL]]Just to make sure you don’t get mistaken for an American liberal, I would recommend getting a lifted pickup truck and flying the largest American Flag you can find from the truck bed. Remember, you will be safe if the gun nuts think you are a patriotic American, and the bigger the flag, the more patriotic you will seem to be.

I saw a real American that had US flags on four corners of his pickup bed. Some pithy stickers too!

[JimD]

If your flashlight isn't tactical grade, get to the nearest Walmart asap and pick one up. Really, everything you own should be tactical grade.

[johnw]

Just to make sure you don’t get mistaken for an American liberal, I would recommend getting a lifted pickup truck and flying the largest American Flag you can find from the truck bed. Remember, you will be safe if the gun nuts think you are a patriotic American, and the bigger the flag, the more patriotic you will seem to be.

You can buy new ones that look dirty and tattered, like you've been in a long battle. Saw one on a lifted pickup that was rolling coal and wondered how many times the guy had to stomp on that flag to get it looking like that.