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Thread: My Favorite Limerick

  1. #36
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    There was a young man from Racine,
    Who invented a screwing machine.
    Concave or convex, t'would fit either sex,
    But oh what a bastard to clean!

  2. #37
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    There was a young fellow called Perkin,
    Who was oft fond of jerkin his gherkin.
    His father yelled 'Perkin! Stop jerkin yer gherkin!'
    'Your gherkins fer ferkin, not jerkin!'

  3. #38
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Bowdlerised version:

    There was a young lady of Harrow
    who thought that her mouth was too narrow
    for times without number
    She'd chew a cucumber
    but could not encompass a marrow.

  4. #39
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    No-one has mentioned the body-painting Australian yet!

  5. #40
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    My favourite Scot-friendly limerick:

    There once was a lady named Huck
    Who had the most terrible luck
    She went out in a punt
    Fell over the front
    And was bit on the leg by a duck.

    As for the rest of 'em, I know entirely too many, having been given the standard reference work (Legman, 1970) by my nautical uncle for my fourteenth birthday.

    What are you doing about it?




  6. #41
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    Duncan, Vancouver Island
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who went to the beach with a bucket
    He dug with his hands
    And filled it with sand
    And into the sea he would chuck it.
    There is no rational, logical, or physical description of how free will could exist. It therefore makes no sense to praise or condemn anyone on the grounds they are a free willed self that made one choice but could have chosen something else. There is no evidence that such a situation is possible in our Universe. Demonstrate otherwise and I will be thrilled.

  7. #42
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    There was a young man of Australia
    Who painted his bum like a dahlia.
    The drawing was fine,
    The colour divine
    But the scent – ah! that was a failure.

    I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned


  8. #43
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    There was a young girl of Australia,
    Who went to a dance as a dahlia,
    When the petals uncurled,
    It revealed to the world,
    That as clothing the dress was a failure
    I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned


  9. #44
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    A comely young miss from Darjeeling
    Would dance with such exquisite feeling
    That for miles around
    There'd be nary a sound
    Save for fly buttons hitting the ceiling.

    What are you doing about it?




  10. #45
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    Long Beach, CA
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    I will be sorely disappointed if this thread dies before reaching at least 5 pages.

    KEEP 'EM COMIN'....please.
    Schooner sailors love to get blown offshore!

  11. #46
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    To his bride, said the lynx-eyed detective
    "can it be that my eyesight's defective-
    is your east tit the least bit
    the best of your west tit,
    or is it a trick of perspective?"

  12. #47
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Good ^ !

  13. #48
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    I don't know if this qualifies as a limerick, but Robbin Williams claimed this is a poem his mother would recite to him.

    "Spider spider on the wall,
    don't you got no sense at all?
    Don't you know that wall's been plastered?
    Get off that wall you stupid spider."
    "Where you live in the world should not determine whether you live in the world." - Bono

    "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

  14. #49
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    A famous one...

    There was a young lady from Ealing,
    Who had such a curious feeling,
    She laid on her back, and opened her crack,
    And pissed all over the ceiling.

    See you all in a year or two...

  15. #50
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Quote Originally Posted by lupussonic View Post
    See you all in a year or two...
    ???? What's up?
    "Where you live in the world should not determine whether you live in the world." - Bono

    "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

  16. #51
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Just not sure where the line is....

  17. #52
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Innuendo isn't quite the same as in-your-end-oh!
    R
    Sleep with one eye open.

  18. #53
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Quote Originally Posted by lupussonic View Post
    Just not sure where the line is....
    Oh! I've read worse. I think I've typed worse.
    "Where you live in the world should not determine whether you live in the world." - Bono

    "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

  19. #54
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    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Williamson View Post
    Innuendo isn't quite the same as in-your-end-oh!
    R
    Which begs the question, "Do you think the Queen album by the same name was a deliberate double entendre? I have to think it was.
    "Where you live in the world should not determine whether you live in the world." - Bono

    "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho Marx

  20. #55
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    Location
    Southampton Ont. Canada
    Posts
    7,292

    Default Re: My Favorite Limerick

    Double entendre?
    No

    Clearly single entendre.
    lol

    R
    Sleep with one eye open.

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