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Thread: Biden vs. God

  1. #1
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    Default Biden vs. God

    Joe Biden is "following the radical left agenda, take away your guns, destroy your Second Amendment, no religion, no anything, hurt the Bible, hurt God. Heís against God.Ē
    Donald Trump


    Well, they were right. Joe Biden is the president and the first thing he did was hurt God, just as they told us he would. He went right up to God and smote God, and now God is crying and Nietzsche has had to clamber back out of Hell to provide comfort. (The thing between God and Nietzsche is very complicated.) Joe Biden knew from the get-go that hurting God was his priority, and that is exactly what he has gone and done. He settled into the West Wing and then he rolled up his sleeve and ó pow!...

    All the unfinished business of creation that is usually in Godís hands has been delegated to a series of czars until God recovers, and it is already a big mess. There are a lot of newly constructed birds that just seem very Bad, and something is the matter with the quality of winter sunshine. The only czar who is at all competent is the one who was put in charge of locusts, and that whole situation is going to come home to roost soon. I cannot stress to you how many locusts there are going to be, and all because Joe Biden, immediately upon taking office, hurt God, just as we were warned he would.

    Also, all large windows have been shrunk down into little windows, tiny windows. Now every room across America is very dark and people must squint to see one another and keep bumping into things. It is chaos, but on the upside it means that many people have not realized all that is happening with the Bible and the Constitution yet. But this was yet another thing we were warned about, and it has happened just like we were warned.

    Nobody is pleased by this development! Atheists are mad because Joe Biden, by hurting God, proved Godís existence; agnostics are frustrated because they considered this a huge spoiler; believers were mad for the obvious reason.

    Also, people who did not even want them have been issued mandatory windmills, especially if they live in places where having a windmill does not make sense. Don Quixote is sobbing openly in the streets. All the birds across North America are huddled in terror as the mills whir their horrible whir, but first, we all got a special windmill cancer. This was the last thing the country needed, but it was a big priority of Joe Bidenís, and so it has happened.

    People who lived in the suburbs tried to go home and discovered that their homes had entirely disappeared. The suburbs had been abolished. There was nothing there; the map simply ended. If you got off the interstate, you found yourself unable to travel; when you squinted in the direction of where your house had been, once, it was all covered in vines. And that was Joe Bidenís doing. They warned you he would come for the suburbs, and he came for them very thoroughly, right after he was finished hurting God.



    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opini...e-were-warned/



  2. #2
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    by my count, two days into the presidency, biden has attended two church services;
    one in person yesterday and one virtually today
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Wonder what God thought after he signed the executive order mandating masks on federal property and he didn't wear one when in the Lincoln memorial, perhaps, do as i say not what I do, good start.

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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Pless View Post
    by my count, two days into the presidency, biden has attended two church services;
    one in person yesterday and one virtually today
    Prayer's good. Among other things, it keeps you humble, all that acknowledging your own limits and stumbling.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by woodpile View Post
    Wonder what God thought after he signed the executive order mandating masks on federal property and he didn't wear one when in the Lincoln memorial, perhaps, do as i say not what I do, good start.
    That the best you got? I suspect that God thought, "It's a controlled space, they are maintaining adequate separation, it looks like he is being respectful of the health of others."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Perhaps we just imagined God. Or imagined why the creator of the entire universe would give a $hit about any thing we do.

    Being how small and primitive we are, in the whole scheme of things..
    PaulF

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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    What about the shower heads?!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    What has the church of today become, God's chosen man and I need to kill someone to keep him in office. They speak of there faith and then think they need to help God? Don't help God church people and don't blame him when it don't work like you want it to.
    signed, the Apostle Bob
    "para todo mal, mezcal, y para todo bien tambiťn" (for everything bad, mezcal, and for everything good, as well.)

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Biden v. God ?!?!?!? But they are both old white guys.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by twodot View Post
    You said that you would leave the forum for six months if Biden won.
    Taking a leaf from the fibbing fuehrer?

    Oh, that's right. Joe Biden didn't win. He only stole the election. We all know who REALLY won. by a landslide, too!
    "The future is already here ó it's just not very evenly distributed." William Gibson

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    Prayer's good. Among other things, it keeps you humble, all that acknowledging your own limits and stumbling.
    Maybe. I'd be more inclined to think it makes one feel like one is doing something when there is nothing one can do.
    Hope the door hits him on the way out.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    That's not the way I spell "fibbin"

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by twodot View Post
    You said that you would leave the forum for six months if Biden won.
    I thought that was bobbys. Did they both take the pledge? I missed Pile's pledge to leave but frankly, I am just as happy to have him. I can abide reality denial in small doses and he's a pretty small dose. Occasional mercurial one liner or unhappy observation, no big deal. Bring it on!
    One of the most enduring qualities of an old wooden boat is the smell it imparts to your clothing.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by Lew Barrett View Post
    I thought that was bobbys.
    What's the difference?
    Skip

    ---This post is delivered with righteous passion and with a solemn southern directness --
    ...........fighting against the deliberate polarization of politics...

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    At the inauguration, he had his family bible, said, " god bless," and, "amen."

    He appears like a man in accord with the almighty rather than one against her.

    Kevin
    There are two kinds of boaters: those who have run aground, and those who lie about it.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by SKIP KILPATRICK View Post
    What's the difference?
    Hadn't considered that actually. I assumed they were two different people sharing a common denial of reality.
    One of the most enduring qualities of an old wooden boat is the smell it imparts to your clothing.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by twodot View Post
    They both did. The thread is now deleted. No matter.

    It is a hoot that the right wing, which ignored that Trump never built his wall, and gave him a pass on thousands of lies, is now fixated on Biden minutiae.
    Right on. And in that case, what's he doing here? I forgot! They don't feel they need to be honest if they are dealing with liberal democracy.

    Their whole machine has fired up on all eight cylinders picking at everything missing no opportunity to invent fantasies and pass them off as the word of God. It is amazing how propagandists can turn anything into a complete 180 within milliseconds. They have a tremendous talent for it and much practice. So much for the honeymoon.
    One of the most enduring qualities of an old wooden boat is the smell it imparts to your clothing.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Not only that but Biden had the red diet Coke button removed from the presidents desk!

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Alexandra Petri. I like that style.
    Freda Kahlo 'mind your own business, Diego'

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    How about Sean Spicer vs Jen Psaki

    https://mobile.twitter.com/MollyJong...63510390448129

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Good God, for the first paragraph or two I thought Canoeyawl wrote that! Well done! The disappearing suburbs are a particularly nice touch.
    "For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations,
    for nature cannot be fooled."

    Richard Feynman

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by Ian McColgin View Post
    Biden v. God ?!?!?!? But they are both old white guys.
    No, I think she's black, God that is.
    Makes a lot more sense than an old white man on a gilded chair.

    John Welsford
    An expert is but a beginner with experience.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God


  24. #24
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    But Biden had all those patriots chased off the capital steps so he could pose there with his hand on a bible.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by Keith Wilson View Post
    Good God, for the first paragraph or two I thought Canoeyawl wrote that! Well done! The disappearing suburbs are a particularly nice touch.
    It is some especially delicious satire

    "Don Quixote is sobbing openly in the streets."

  26. #26
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by CWSmith View Post
    That the best you got? I suspect that God thought, "It's a controlled space, they are maintaining adequate separation, it looks like he is being respectful of the health of others."
    So you're saying after an "executive order" was signed by the POTUS if "It's a controlled space, they are maintaining adequate separation, it looks like he is being respectful of the health of others.", it's ok to violate that order? you call that leading by example?

  27. #27
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Smell that? Odiferous, and odious, says I.

    There's a skunk hunkered down in that woodpile.

    Anybody... got a match? This is 'fixable'...
    There's a lot of things they didn't tell me when I signed on with this outfit....

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    You clever man pile, no one can pull the wool over your eyes.

  29. #29
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    What's 'god' got to do with it?

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    My money's on Biden.
    Rattling the teacups.

  31. #31
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by oznabrag View Post
    My money's on Biden.
    Biden's gonna gas against God in the late rounds. His comparative youth will only take him so far.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  32. #32
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    Biden's gonna gas against God in the late rounds. His comparative youth will only take him so far.
    I figure God's apparent apathy about the whole thing will allow him to be distracted, and BOOM!

    Joltin' Joe Biden by TKO late in the third.
    Rattling the teacups.

  33. #33
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    "Almighty? Omniscient? Hah - you didn't see that one coming!"
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  34. #34
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by woodpile View Post
    So you're saying after an "executive order" was signed by the POTUS if "It's a controlled space, they are maintaining adequate separation, it looks like he is being respectful of the health of others.", it's ok to violate that order? you call that leading by example?
    No, I'm saying that he made a mistake and gave the knee-jerks looking for something to complain about an excuse to complain. He probably won't make that mistake again.

    I'm also saying that your attempt to make something out of nothing is transparent.

  35. #35
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    Default Re: Biden vs. God

    Quote Originally Posted by CWSmith View Post
    No, I'm saying that he made a mistake and gave the knee-jerks looking for something to complain about an excuse to complain. He probably won't make that mistake again.

    I'm also saying that your attempt to make something out of nothing is transparent.
    This is on a level with O'Bama's tan suit!
    Rattling the teacups.

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