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Thread: Really bad Joke of the Day

  1. #176
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Would you like to discus?

    Peace,
    Dr. Wham-O
    Tom

  2. #177
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    That shot was well put!
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  3. #178
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Would you like to discus?

    Peace,
    Dr. Wham-O
    Haven't we disgusted this before?
    Rattling the teacups.

  4. #179
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Well, I am always on track to field such.

    Peace,
    EFL
    I'd reply, but I have to dash off - life keeps putting hurdles in front of me, but somehow I vault over 'em.
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  5. #180
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Sometimes, social distance is a good thing.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  6. #181
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Inspired by the 'what did I miss' thread --

    Q. Why shouldn't you buy anything with Velcro?

    A. Because it's a rip-off...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  7. #182
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Just received a text from my mate in Germany, saying everyone is panic-buying sausages and cheese.

    Sounds like a würst-käse scenario to me...
    I'd much rather lay in my bunk all freakin day lookin at Youtube videos .

  8. #183
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    Default

    Finland has just closed its border. No one is allowed to cross the Finnish line.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Tom

  9. #184
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Ouch!

  10. #185
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Gawd…… these jokes are getting worser and worser every day.... Keep up the good work!
    I was born on a wooden boat that I built myself.

  11. #186
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    In these days of shortages, I finally asked the neighborhood grocer, 'Where CAN I buy some chick broth, then?' He said to try the stock market...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  12. #187
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by ThomRose View Post
    Whats the difference between a sly little person, and a prolific prostitute? The first is a cunning runt, and the second is a running... (oh, man, I'll be in trouble for that one!)
    Heard that over 50 years ago, but the set-up was "What's the difference between the midgets' caucus at a Mensa meeting, and a women's track team?" Answer, "One is a group of...."

    Guessed it right, too.

  13. #188
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Toilet paper is more valuable than money now so, in these straightened times, the bank is happy to take the rolls in case of runs.

    Rick

  14. #189
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by RFNK View Post
    Toilet paper is more valuable than money now so, in these straightened times, the bank is happy to take the rolls in case of runs.

    Rick
    Now that is effin funny

  15. #190
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    Default

    What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Tom

  16. #191
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    If you discover you suffer from kleptomania?

    You'd better take something for it...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  17. #192
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    You stole that.

    Peace,
    EFL
    Stole. SUCH a harsh word. I merely picked it up outta some small pocket of humor somewhere...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  18. #193
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Here's another on I sto... errrr... picked up somewhere --



    Bobby worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent.

    "Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest. "I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?" Bobby said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."
    Last edited by David G; 03-20-2020 at 05:46 PM.
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  19. #194
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    I'm sick to death of this coronavirus.

    Rick

  20. #195
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    The number of coronavirus cases is dropping.

    Rick

  21. #196
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Corona virus disease
    Plague of locusts in Africa
    I'm a first born son and getting nervous
    Was it Trumpets that signal the end,
    Or was it Trump/Pence?

  22. #197
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    Default

    I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.

    It took me a while to realize it was just a Fanta sea.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Tom

  23. #198
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Q, Why did Dad spider tell his son to go out and play?

    A. Because he was spending too much time on the web...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  24. #199
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    My wife was on a call with a French co-worker. Not about work, as they aren’t working, but just a check in.

    He asked, “How is your Quarantine going?”
    She answered, “Oh, it’s not a Quarantine. It’s a Sparkling California Lockdown”

    Peace,
    I’m Not The Funny One (And She Owes Him Some Coffee...)
    Sharp yet pleasant on the pallet.

  25. #200
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Tom

  26. #201
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    I've been looking for a job, bot no-one is even interested in checking out my CV.
    I would rather have doubt than be certain and wrong.
    Richard Feynman.

  27. #202
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    One of my son's girlfriend's (a blond... I think) told me this one a while back --

    Two Blonds walk into a bar. The barkeep ask them, "Are you two sisters?"

    They giggle and say, "NO... not at all. We're not even Catholic".
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  28. #203
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    Default

    I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.

    Had them tested and one came back positive.

    Hope it's not terminal.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Tom

  29. #204
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Wilkinson View Post
    I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.

    Had them tested and one came back positive.

    Hope it's not terminal.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Just say "ohm" & it'll be all better. Do I sense some resistance? You better hope it hasn't reached the cell level.
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  30. #205
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    Default

    Easy now!! You're gonna get me all amped up!
    Tom

  31. #206
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    The current tone of this thread is shocking!

    Kevin
    There are two kinds of boaters: those who have run aground, and those who lie about it.

  32. #207
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Breakaway View Post
    The current tone of this thread is shocking!

    Kevin
    You're putting up too much resistance.
    Rattling the teacups.

  33. #208
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Nah - he's just wired.

    I could see that from a cable away..
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  34. #209
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Garret View Post
    Nah - he's just wired.

    I could see that from a cable away..
    I couldn't gauge his condition.
    Rattling the teacups.

  35. #210
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    Default Re: Really bad Joke of the Day

    In a parallel universe this series of jokes might be funny.

    Have fun guys, I'm off to do circuit training.
    Tom

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