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Thread: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

  1. #1
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    Default Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    A former boss of mine once observed that I had a very nihilistic sense of humor. I had never thought of it as such, but on reflection I had to agree that was a fairly accurate assessment of my sense of humor.

    From many years ago, I still enjoy the whole family of elephant jokes -- it's their compelling logic that I find so giggle-worthy. Even the stand-alone jokes amuse me: how do you fit three elephants into a VW beetle? Obviously, you can only put two in front -- the third needs to sit in back.

    But the elephant threads I find quite elegant.

    1. Why do elephants have flat feet?
    They get flat feet from jumping out of trees.
    2. Why do natives not go into the jungle between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
    That's when the elephants are jumping out of trees.
    3. What is that brown stuff in between an elephant's toes?
    That's a native that went into the jungle between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.

    Totally silly. Juvenile.

    How can you tell if an elephant has raided your refrigerator?
    He'll leave footprints in the cream cheese.

    How many other elephant jokes are out there in the wild?
    "The future is already here — it's just not very evenly distributed." William Gibson

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

    Elephino.

    Peace,
    Robert

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

    Elephino.

    Peace,
    Robert


    A few years ago we got a small kitten that we named Penelope. She grew larger than expected so now we call her Penelephant.

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    My kids favorite was this --

    Dad - Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

    Kid - <I dunno, why?>

    Dad - So they can hide in the cherry trees.

    Kid - <stunned disbelief, and skeptical expression>

    Dad - You ever SEE an elephant in the cherry trees?

    Kid - <no...>

    Dad - SEE... it WORKS!!!
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
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    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    How do you carve a statue of an elephant?

    Take a big rock and cut off every bit that doesn't look like an elephant.

    Rick

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    “Why are you tearing up and scattering those little bits of paper?”
    ”It keeps the elephants away.”
    ”There are no elephants anywhere near here.”
    ”You’re welcome.”

    (I see David beat me to a variation of this.)

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by RFNK View Post
    How do you carve a statue of an elephant?

    Take a big rock and cut off every bit that doesn't look like an elephant.

    Rick
    You stole that from Michelangelo!
    "The future is already here — it's just not very evenly distributed." William Gibson

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    This afternoon I was working a cross-word puzzle. Four across was a 4-letter word. Its clue was "________Erectus." As soon as I filled in the word my brain immediately translated it into the American Vulgate, and I was totally gigglefied.
    "The future is already here — it's just not very evenly distributed." William Gibson

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by webishop14 View Post
    You stole that from Michelangelo!
    I believe the Michelangelo attribution is a canard. But, yes... it's a very old quote.
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
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    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    How do you get down from an elephant?

    You don't. You get down from a duck.


    Rick

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by webishop14 View Post
    You stole that from Michelangelo!
    I didn't. I stole it from my book of 101 Elephant Jokes that I had when I was ummm, 7. But that was always my favourite and I've used it to guide my life. That's why there's a lot of sawdust at our place. Of course, the fact that I found more wisdom in my book of elephant jokes than in almost everything else I've read, might be seen by some as a problem. But not by me - therein lies the problem.

    Rick

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Okay, I've done the research and found no record of Michelangelo ever carving a statue of an elephant.
    So there!

    Rick

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    Default

    Back in the early-mid 70s, I got a copy of "The Elephant Joke Book" from a head shop in Cincinnati. Can't remember if it was from The Cupboard or Cappel's Annex. Doesn't matter, though both of them are miraculously still in operation. Cappell's isn't more a costume shop in these latter days. At one time, though, The Cupboard sold more Ohaus triple-beam lab balances than any other Ohaus dealer in the world.

    That book left me in stitches.

    Question: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if woodchucks could chuck wood?

    Answer: "This is an elephant joke book buddy. You want woodchuck jokes? Get The Woodchuck Joke Book!"
    You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound. — P.G. Wodehouse (Carry On, Jeeves)

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Frankenstein's monster too, apparently.

    So, why did the mouse leave home?

    His father was a rat.

    Rick

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    What's the difference between an elephant fart and a cocktail lounge?
    /
    /
    /
    /
    /
    /
    /
    /
    /
    A cocktail lounge is a bar room and an elephant fart is a BAH-ROOOM!



    *This joke works better spoken than written.

    Kevin
    There are two kinds of boaters: those who have run aground, and those who lie about it.

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Nhilistic humour is quite different to elephant jokes of course, and is often rather offensive. Actually often very offensive in it's ideas. You won't find it in what's considered funny on any TV channel.
    In todays PC world it's targets are even more sensitive to criticism and take to the law often enough.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Elephant walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for a job."
    The flustered bartender says "Well, we aren't exactly hiring right now - why don't you try the circus."
    Elephant responds "Why the h*** would a circus need a bartender?"
    Sometimes you've gotta leave the kibble out where the slow dogs can get some....
    ... Roy Blount, Jr.

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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    How many elephants can you fit in a VW?
    - Four; two in front and two in back.



    How can you tell if there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
    - Footprints in the Jell-O.




    How can you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
    - You can hear them whispering.




    How can you tell if there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
    - Some ******* left his VW parked in your kitchen!

    What are you doing about it?




  19. #19
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
    -"Here come the elephants."

    What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing sunglasses?
    -Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    So... I'm a bit confused. Are we saying that elephants are nihilists? Cheery trees are? Tarzan is?

    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
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    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Hey, I know those guys.

    What are you doing about it?




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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Orca View Post
    Hey, I know those guys.
    Mmmm-hmmmm....

    Peace,
    What? So I Changed The Lyric To A Question? It’s MY Arrangement.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Mmmm-hmmmm....
    I always thought Brad was a better waiter than singer. Ben, on the other hand, is magnificent. He has a solo blues act these days - Son of Dave - that is quite impressive. Last time he was here (a joint show with another friend of ours, Ben Sures) he got Oystagirl and I up on stage with him, just through random chance. I think the last gig we played together before that I ended up lending him my guitar. He's a good guy.

    What are you doing about it?




  24. #24
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by skuthorp View Post
    Nhilistic humour is quite different to elephant jokes of course, and is often rather offensive. Actually often very offensive in it's ideas. You won't find it in what's considered funny on any TV channel.
    In todays PC world it's targets are even more sensitive to criticism and take to the law often enough.
    Elephants are not too keen on elephant jokes either.

    Rick

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    That's because elephants can't forget the really bad elephant jokes.

    -Guinness

  26. #26
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    It's a good thing they don't drink!

    Rick

  27. #27
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by RFNK View Post
    It's a good thing they don't drink!

    Rick
    Don't they get thirsty?
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    That's irrelephant.

    Rick

  29. #29
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by RFNK View Post
    That's irrelephant.

    Rick
    Walked right into that one, didn't I?

    Time to pack my derm & leave.
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Garret View Post
    Walked right into that one, didn't I?

    Time to pack my derm & leave.
    Really? I assumed that the two of you had set that up by PM...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
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    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  31. #31
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    Default Re: Compelling Logic and Nihilistic Humor

    Pack my derm is good

    101 Elephant Jokes was published in 1964 and .... is still available! I wonder how many books like that have lasted so well?

    Rick

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