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Thread: Losing friends in divisive times.

  1. #246
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    D, i don't think the 'meh' was meant to be insulting. i "meh' stuff all the time. i type it in there to flavor a response as if we were talking in person. i guess it could have been meant as an insult, but that's not a cross i'd be willing to die on.
    I don't doubt that it was not consciously used, but that is a problem with language. Sometimes things are said which carry more meaning than intended, or are received with more meaning than intended.
    In this case, part of that is certainly me. When I think of that model '94, what it brings to my mind is the years of suffering and hardship that my father endured. And then, one day, he was able to give to his son something that he felt was the best. There is a lot of emotional weight behind that
    I don't have that for any other gun.

    There was no way for FO to know that, so I attempted an explanation. His response to that could have been different. The course steered since is his, not mine.

  2. #247
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Oh, fer gawd's sakes, you guys; get a room! "Ah gets all teary-eyed when ah fondle mah gun thet mah sainted Pappy done worked his fingers to th' bone t' give me, and thet low-down polecat done disrespected mah Pappy when he sayed thet mah gun wuz ugly!" Sheesh!
    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

  3. #248
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmd View Post
    Oh, fer gawd's sakes, you guys; get a room! "Ah gets all teary-eyed when ah fondle mah gun thet mah sainted Pappy done worked his fingers to th' bone t' give me, and thet low-down polecat done disrespected mah Pappy when he sayed thet mah gun wuz ugly!" Sheesh!
    Did not realize you were fluent in hillbilly
    Elect a clown expect a circus

  4. #249
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Just channelling my inner Jim Nabors, Bobcat. Too much 'Andy Griffiths Show' in my yout', I guess.
    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

  5. #250
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Yeah - but kin ya sing?
    There's a lot of things they didn't tell me when I signed on with this outfit....

  6. #251
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Ayup - sounds jus' like when yer Skilsaw tries to cut thru a nail...
    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

  7. #252
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Them's is pipes!
    There's a lot of things they didn't tell me when I signed on with this outfit....

  8. #253
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmd View Post
    Oh, fer gawd's sakes, you guys; get a room! "Ah gets all teary-eyed when ah fondle mah gun thet mah sainted Pappy done worked his fingers to th' bone t' give me, and thet low-down polecat done disrespected mah Pappy when he sayed thet mah gun wuz ugly!" Sheesh!

    You miss, perhaps, the point.

    The item in question matters not. The method of discourse, and the meaning of words when used in particular ways, leads to the result in the thread title.
    If civility is to be expected from others, it must be foremost in the thoughts of those speaking.

  9. #254
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Decourcy, you found insult where none was intended. Why is that?
    There's a lot of things they didn't tell me when I signed on with this outfit....

  10. #255
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Decourcy View Post
    You miss, perhaps, the point.

    The item in question matters not. The method of discourse, and the meaning of words when used in particular ways, leads to the result in the thread title.
    If civility is to be expected from others, it must be foremost in the thoughts of those speaking.
    HEY!!!!

    That blast of unintended irony almost knocked my mug off the desk.

    Careful wit dat chit!!!
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  11. #256
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by George Jung View Post
    Decourcy, you found insult where none was intended. Why is that?
    .

    Post 247 seems mighty insulting.

  12. #257
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by bobbys View Post
    .

    Post 247 seems mighty insulting.
    Check the label. Where was it made?

  13. #258
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Decourcy View Post
    When you walk into a room after buying a Ford, and start a conversation with GMC being "meh", that is a loaded statement.
    ...and a tragic slur on GMC-lovers' ancestry, religion, sexual preferences, perceived disability, and social position, as well, no doubt?

    Yeah, I'd agree, but you're wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by Decourcy View Post
    There is a risk with any "scattergun insult"
    Dude. You seem to be having trouble grasping a fairly simple concept: using "meh" to express indifference is not an insult. To you, to your father, to my Uncle Bob, to the turnip in the White House, or to anyone else. (Unless they have just given you a gift and you use the term "meh" in relation to the gift, to their face, in which case, yes, it probably is an insult.)

    Nobody is obliged to like the things you like. Nobody is obliged to avoid expressing indifference to the things you like in case they hurt your feewings. I like Emeralds and Morgans, but it's not an insult for you to "meh" them; I'll just assume you like Gibsons or Martins better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Decourcy View Post
    I don't doubt that it was not consciously used, but that is a problem with language.
    Nope. The language is fine, being indifferent to something someone else likes is fine. The problem, as others have correctly noted, is that you are determined to find insult where it doesn't exist.

    What are you doing about it?




  14. #259
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    which begs the question; Why?

    Edit; just a slap of the gloves perhaps?

  15. #260
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Canoeyawl View Post
    which begs the question; Why?

    Edit; just a slap of the gloves perhaps?
    Determining why would probably call for introspection.

    What are you doing about it?




  16. #261
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by George Jung View Post
    Decourcy, you found insult where none was intended. Why is that?

    If, by "meh", FO meant something like "my personal preference is.." rather than "your choice is garbage", which, because of my emotional attachment read as "your fathers choice was garbage", then a simple reply clarifying that meaning would have allowed common footing. But it's all too easy to allow words to take a minor difference and make it a divisive issue.

    Whether the the insult was intended or not doesn't matter. This has been a perfect demonstration of how one word can cause divisiveness.

    How many times does that happen here? How many times does it happen in the real world when politics or other heated topics are discussed? Is everyone aware that words may fan the flames of irritation between people otherwise friends, not by being words of anger, but just by being loaded with emotion to one party or the other?


    I saw a lot of threads some time back on southern statues and their meaning to different parties. The attempts by both sides to explain their points of view were destroyed more by the loaded language used than by the actual points made.

  17. #262
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Time for another boat picture...

    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

  18. #263
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    I still have glenn.....

  19. #264
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Of course you do


  20. #265
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmd View Post
    Time for another boat picture...

    That is certainly dividing the water.

  21. #266
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Effective as a derailment, as well.
    There's a lot of things they didn't tell me when I signed on with this outfit....

  22. #267
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Yes, it divides the water with as little fuss as possible, it supports everyone and carries them to a safe port, does little to no harm to the waters as it passes through, and the waters reunite after its passing so harmoniously that one could never discern that it passed through. Charmingly effective, isn't it?
    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

  23. #268
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmd View Post
    Yes, it divides the water with as little fuss as possible, it supports everyone and carries them to a safe port, does little to no harm to the waters as it passes through, and the waters reunite after its passing so harmoniously that one could never discern that it passed through. Charmingly effective, isn't it?
    You are evil. I like it!
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  24. #269
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Canoeyawl View Post
    Of course you do

    He prolly drinks something from a Mason jar where he lives. Not that , thats bad.

  25. #270
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    Default Re: Losing friends in divisive times.

    I thought I was gonna lose - not a friend, but an acquaintance - on Saturday. The hardware store in Harbor Woodworks neighborhood is excellent, and they sell Traeger, Big Green Egg, and other premium grilling/smoking gear. Their demo guy has been feeding me with samples for several years now, and we've gotten friendly. When I rolled up that day, he was shutting down in the middle of a pouring thunderstorm - so I helped. As he turned to head for his truck, he slapped a MAGA hat on, and commented, "I'd get in trouble if my boss saw me wearing this... no politics is the rule". I allowed as how it could easily alienate a large chunk of their customers. He said, not as many as you'd think in liberal Portland. I asked how he felt about Trump so far, and how it felt to have people support him when he saw it.

    He cited some of Trump's 'accomplishments'. I listened, then rebutted. We wrangled for a bit, but without heat. He said at first it was nice to have folks walk up and slap him on the back - but these days it seemed to be mostly the illiterate, ignorant, and ugly-talking folks who were in his 'tribe' (his word). He said all of the reasonable arguments came from the anti-Trump folks. He said his people were farmers in the Midwest - and this whole tariff mess had him more receptive to the notion that Trump was out of his depth.

    It was a bit touchy for a while, as he defended Trump. But I didn't froth... and he listened. Don't know that he's gonna give up on Trump... but at least we got back to a place of conversation instead of spouting stock lines. We'll see next time we meet...
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

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