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Thread: 007

  1. #1
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    Default 007

    Evidently, in ths Bond film currently in production, James Bond has been called out of retirement for a special assignment.
    Arriving at M's office, he's informed that his Double O number has been reassigned to a new agent.
    The new 007:
    Ask me! I've got my Leatherman!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 007

    oh I can almost hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth as millions of toxic Bond fans have their heads explode
    "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito"

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  3. #3
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    Default Re: 007

    I was hoping or Idris Elba, but this’ll be interesting.
    Fight Entropy, build a wooden boat!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 007

    Works for me.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 007

    Wow. She only needs her looks to kill.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 007

    It's a neat way out of the "#metoo" issue of 007 being as randy as ever. Equivalent behaviour will be understood as "female empowerment" and being "sex positive," instead of evidence of toxic patriarchy. (adding the obligatory )
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 007

    Can't wait to see what Trump has to say about this.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: 007

    not his type, believe me.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 007

    it will probably go over as well as the all girl ghostbusters.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    it will probably go over as well as the all girl ghostbusters.
    I disagree. There's quite a movie traffic in beautiful leading women who kick @ss. From Buffy through Dark Angel through The Bride through various Underworld movies right up to various mutants and superheroes currently burning up the screen. To the extent that a self defence guy I used to read writing a really good blog post about the "myth of the Ninja girl." And it is indeed a myth - while I know some really proficient female martial artists, wrestlers etc., the odds are not on their side when fighting a moderately trained person who outweighs them by a third or more. There's a reason why combat sports have weight classes.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: 007

    I watched Toy Story 4. This trend to break stereotypes in Hollywood is beginning to really suck and will be having a profound impact later on.

    Toy Story 4 is pretty twisted. The female toys now manage the other toys. Scary large male dolls are always trying to hold down the smaller toys and dominate them. Woody was forced to give up his pull string voice box so a female could speak directly to a child. Woody's sheriff's star was taken away and given to Jesse the cowgirl. Woody has been discarded, spends much of his life in the closet after loosing his place to a piece of trash made into a strange passing fad toy.
    A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man. My feature suggests an excellent side kick of good index.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: 007

    It would be patently impossible to ruin the 007 franchise.

    Impossible.

    Peace,
    Robert

  13. #13
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    Default Re: 007

    And she's not gonna ruin it with that face.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    And she's not gonna ruin it with that face.
    I hadn’t seriously thought this through. What are all the apes going to do when the pretty girl doesn’t just scream and look to the big old man to save her?

    Besides, a six hour unedited shot of a pile of dog poo would be AT LEAST as interesting as any other Bond film.

    Blech.

    Peace,
    The Spy Who Bored Me

  15. #15
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    I disagree. There's quite a movie traffic in beautiful leading women who kick @ss. From Buffy through Dark Angel through The Bride through various Underworld movies right up to various mutants and superheroes currently burning up the screen. To the extent that a self defence guy I used to read writing a really good blog post about the "myth of the Ninja girl." And it is indeed a myth - while I know some really proficient female martial artists, wrestlers etc., the odds are not on their side when fighting a moderately trained person who outweighs them by a third or more. There's a reason why combat sports have weight classes.

    eh... we'll see when it hits theaters and the numbers come out. i would wager that the numbers will be significantly lower that previous bond films.

    it's not that you can't enjoy a female lead in a movie, it's that people don't enjoy hollywood changing their classic movie characters. it's bad enough going from sean connery to roger moore to daniel craig.

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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    eh... we'll see when it hits theaters and the numbers come out. i would wager that the numbers will be significantly lower that previous bond films.

    it's not that you can't enjoy a female lead in a movie, it's that people don't enjoy hollywood changing their classic movie characters. it's bad enough going from sean connery to roger moore to daniel craig.
    Geez. Probably worse to have been forgotten altogether, eh?

    Peace,
    That’s Not All Of Them (And I Don’t Mean Tim And Pierce...)

  17. #17
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    Default Re: 007

    Jessica Alba was able to find an audience as an @ss-kicking Dark Angel. Kate Beckinsdale and Uma Thurman and more recently Scarlett Johannson, Gal Gadot, Brie Larson, etc. None of those women need "saving" ... which was exactly part of their appeal. To the point that Herself is really, really tired of seeing athletic 115 pound women physically maul multiple athletic 225 pound men. I get "empowerment" and "role modeling" and all, but IMO we'd serve folks better by showing a wee bit more reality. The reality that if a well trained fighter is muscular and about twice your weight, your (or their) gender ... or even your skill level, if they can close with you ... really isn't going to matter much.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  18. #18
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    Jessica Alba was able to find an audience as an @ss-kicking Dark Angel. Kate Beckinsdale and Uma Thurman and more recently Scarlett Johannson, Gal Gadot, Brie Larson, etc. None of those women need "saving" ... which was exactly part of their appeal. To the point that Herself is really, really tired of seeing athletic 115 pound women physically maul multiple athletic 225 pound men. I get "empowerment" and "role modeling" and all, but IMO we'd serve folks better by showing a wee bit more reality. The reality that if a well trained fighter is muscular and about twice your weight, your (or their) gender ... or even your skill level, if they can close with you ... really isn't going to matter much.
    Oh, I meant in Bond films. Loads of pretty ladies, who preen or scream.

    As to fighting? Yeah. Ashley and I discuss this regularly. She is ranked #1 in the world (she insists we say amateur), but there is nothing she could do to Quad. She’s 122 pounds, and he’s about 270, with a chin of unimagined alloy (really, it’s like a block of adamantium) and formidable grappling and striking skills. And almost no neck.

    In gear, she is literally helpless against him, and concedes that only a knee to the nose would give her a shot at escape. And only then during the moments Mongo stumbled back a bit with watery eyes.

    I am only able to hold my own against him because I am far superior in striking and grappling. Even then, if he gets me cornered, there isn’t much I can do in a friendly contest to resist.

    Of course, there’s always bil jee and the sensitive zones, but I’m not trying to blind, asphyxiate, or castrate my son.

    Peace,
    Robert

  19. #19
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    but I’m not trying to blind, asphyxiate, or castrate my son.

    Peace,
    Robert

    what... are you running for father of the year or something?

  20. #20
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    Default Re: 007

    Yeah, it's a problem, eh? Quite possible to do some rather nasty things, but then you'd need to find a new training partner.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  21. #21
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    Default Re: 007

    Excuse me? It's an action movie, fer chrissake, and in movies impossibly gorgeous specimens of humanity leap out of the aftermath of car crashes that would reduce ordinary mortals to a bloody pulp, jump twice as far as a talented kangaroo, shrug off punches that would land anyone else in the hospital for a month, and never have to sleep. You want realism, don't go to a Bond movie. The entire point of the damn things is fantasy, only one step back from superhero films. At least in those, they're honest about Captain Marvel having superpowers.
    "For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations,
    for nature cannot be fooled."

    Richard Feynman

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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    Yeah, it's a problem, eh? Quite possible to do some rather nasty things, but then you'd need to find a new training partner.
    He still fears bil jee, though. The “stabbing fingers”. I can and will, defeat him using only three fingers on one hand, but it has to be in unpadded combat, because I rely on pressure points.

    Pressure points and joint control are field levelers, to be sure. There are certainly cases where skill can overcome size and strength.
    But, our buddy, who is a 6’5” 230-odd pound BJJ black belt and former All American Wrestler? Yeah. Run.

    Peace,
    Robert

  23. #23
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by Keith Wilson View Post
    Excuse me? It's an action movie, fer chrissake, and in movies impossibly gorgeous specimens of humanity leap out of the aftermath of car crashes that would reduce ordinary mortals to a bloody pulp, jump twice as far as a talented kangaroo, shrug off punches that would land anyone else in the hospital for a month, and never have to sleep. You want realism, don't go to a Bond movie, the entire point of the damn things is fantasy, only one step back from superhero films. At least in those, they're honest about Captain Marvel having superpowers.


    hahahaha, that's a point to take. unless we're talking about stallone movies. he really can get punched 9,000 times in the head by dolph lungeren(sp?) and make a comeback.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    But, our buddy, who is a 6’5” 230-odd pound BJJ black belt and former All American Wrestler? Yeah. Run.

    Peace,
    Robert

    geez, why even bother with running? i'm just going to lay there and get the murder over with as fast as possible.

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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    geez, why even bother with running? i'm just going to lay there and get the murder over with as fast as possible.
    Oh, I don’t run. I’m one of the few cats he can actually spar with, so I get to hold him while you run.

    Peace,
    Can Run 50 8:00 Miles, So I Feel Pretty Good About My Escape On Foot Plan...

  26. #26
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    geez, why even bother with running? i'm just going to lay there and get the murder over with as fast as possible.
    Yup.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  27. #27
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    Default Re: 007

    Y'see, that there is an argument in favour of projectile weapons. Or at least polearms.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  28. #28
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Oh, I don’t run. I’m one of the few cats he can actually spar with, so I get to hold him while you run.

    Peace,
    Can Run 50 8:00 Miles, So I Feel Pretty Good About My Escape On Foot Plan...

    hahaha, just buy me enough time to get into a really fast getaway vehicle. i don't think i'm going to out run this dude on foot for long.

  29. #29
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    Y'see, that there is an argument in favour of projectile weapons. Or at least polearms.
    Quad showed me a meme about the “invention” of the bow and arrow. Somesuch about when you want to stab a guy who’s WAAAY over there...

    Peace,
    Robert

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    Default Re: 007

    Unpopular opinion: Daniel Craig is the best Bond ever.

  31. #31
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    Default Re: 007

    The folks at ScholaGladiatoria who teach historical swordsmanship etc. have run quite a few experiments ... and while swords are great and all, a moderately good spearsman beats even a skilled swordsman on the field most of the time.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  32. #32
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    The folks at ScholaGladiatoria who teach historical swordsmanship etc. have run quite a few experiments ... and while swords are great and all, a moderately good spearsman beats even a skilled swordsman on the field most of the time.
    Hold on. Aikido’s time to shine! Gimme that sword!

    Hahaha.

    Peace,
    Robert

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    Default Re: 007

    Yeah yeah ... Aikido/shmykido. Everyone knows that the best old school Asian martial arts way to overcome a quarterstaff with a 14" long cutty, stabby bit tied to one end is to get your stance right and hurl a flaming ball of chi. Duh.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  34. #34
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    Yeah yeah ... Aikido/shmykido. Everyone knows that the best old school Asian martial arts way to overcome a quarterstaff with a 14" long cutty, stabby bit tied to one end is to get your stance right and hurl a flaming ball of chi. Duh.
    You just use your flat palms slapped together to control the blade...

    Peace,
    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  35. #35
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    Default Re: 007

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    You just use your flat palms slapped together to control the blade...Peace,Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
    AAAAuuuiiieeeee!!! thump. (the sound of one hand clapping)
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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