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Thread: describe your ideal burger

  1. #71
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    You never know what'll turnip on burgers and The Bilge.

    Rick

  2. #72
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    I've taken to using Ciabatta buns for my burgers, filled with different things depending on my mood. A favorite is grilled smoked chicken with just a tad of hot chili sauce, then the rest of it.
    Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy a boat that will pull right up next to it!

  3. #73
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Can't choose just one. Among my favourite burgers:


    - a good black bean patty, grilled or griddled (it doesn't matter as much as you might think) good and hot and crisp, with leaf lettuce and red onion and tomato and bread-and-butter pickles and spicy peanut sauce, on a toasted medium-firm bun with a lot of gluten so it holds the burger together (which the bean patty won't do). Crudites, hummus, and pita chips on the side.


    - a crunchy fried chicken breast on a white sourdough bun with mayo (or Miracle Whip if you're into that), tomato, iceberg lettuce, and fermented hot pepper sauce (Tabasco, Frank's, Cholula, what have you). Sides: skinny fries and vinaigrette cole slaw, preferably a bit on the fermented side.


    - the Fat Boy, a Winnipeg tradition for decades. Grilled home-style (always made in house) thick beef patty on a thick, soft, white sesame bun with cheese, mustard, mayo, chopped onions, dill pickle (chips), tomato, shredded lettuce, and chili. These are pretty epic. Sadly, I have changed jobs, and my office is no longer half a block from one of my favourite places to get one. While the classic accompaniment is twice-cooked fries (which may also be topped with chili), I find that these days I prefer a salad on the side; Caesar is robust enough to compete.


    - a blend of ground pork and ham, with water chestnuts, green onion, garlic, ginger, sesame oil, lime, and soya sauce in the patty, maybe a little five spice, grilled to dark brown, served on a steamed doughy bun with asian slaw, cilantro, cucumber, red onion, hoisin sauce, and toasted sesame seeds - if you're feeling adventurous, mix a little orange marmalade and/or spicy mustard into your hoisin. Sides: carrot and daikon salad, Thai cucumber salad, or Thai green mango salad. Maybe some noodles, too, in which case I'd wok them up good and smoky in sesame oil and siew-type sauce.


    - the classic grilled cheeseburger, at least 70% lean ground chuck, pre-seasoned with the usual (if there's no Worcestershire, you're seriously missing out) and shaped with a pat of butter inside, barbecue sauce optional, a decently thick slice of medium or older cheddar melted on top, thick toasted bun (rye or sourdough are nice, pretzel too) with some substance to it, and classic fixings (ketchup, mustard, relish, lettuce, tomato, sweet onion, bacon) - bonus points if you replace standard green cucumber relish with green tomato pickle/relish. Sides: potato chips and creamy cole slaw, because durrrr. Potato salad instead of chips is acceptable.


    - mushroom-Swiss burger - same patty and bun as above, but with no barbecue sauce (shudder), a thick slice of a medium-aged, firm Swiss cheese, a thick pile of mushrooms fried in butter until shrivelled and dark brown, and minimal toppings (lettuce and tomato are OK but not necessary; a bit of grainy mustard and a little ketchup or Thousand Island-type burger sauce should be all this needs)


    I could go on. We have a thing here called "Le Burger Week" (it started in Montreal) where about 75 local restaurants compete for best burger honours. The entries are pretty creative, and inspirational.
    Last edited by Flying Orca; 07-10-2019 at 09:49 PM.

    What are you doing about it?




  4. #74
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Now I'm hungry!

    Rick

  5. #75
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    My biggest problem with most burger places is that they put the condiments on in the wrong order. Ketchup and mustard belong on the bottom. Lettuce, tomato, pickles etc belong on the top. When they put the lettuce etc on the bottom the burgers juice just makes it a sloppy mess.
    The best helping hand you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm.

  6. #76
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    I guess I'm not a chef I tried home made burgers on the grill but they fell apart and were not cooked in the middle.

    My best bet is a Costco frozen burger, grilled Hawaiian or potato bun toasted on the grill, onion, relish. Ketchup, honey mustard, finished off with domestic beer..

    Sometimes , better then a steak.

  7. #77
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by Iceboy View Post
    My biggest problem with most burger places is that they put the condiments on in the wrong order. Ketchup and mustard belong on the bottom. Lettuce, tomato, pickles etc belong on the top. When they put the lettuce etc on the bottom the burgers juice just makes it a sloppy mess.
    turn the burger upside down
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  8. #78
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    bacon jam, magical topping
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  9. #79
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Nope, they should make them correctly.
    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Pless View Post
    turn the burger upside down
    The best helping hand you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm.

  10. #80
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    My favorite burger is / was one served at 'Hackney's' in the Northern Chicago suburbs - 1/3 or 1/2 pound hand-formed patty, cooked to order (as rare as I liked it) , served on dark pumpernickel bread, and accompanied by a 1 pound 'brick' of fried onions (not onion rings) -

    Alternatively, I really liked the Steak Tartare (no capers, please! ) as well served at the Riverwoods Inn, near the suburb of the same name.

  11. #81
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    6 feet tall, blue eyes, Leo...

    Peace,
    Robert

  12. #82
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by bobbys View Post
    I guess I'm not a chef I tried home made burgers on the grill but they fell apart and were not cooked in the middle.

    My best bet is a Costco frozen burger, grilled Hawaiian or potato bun toasted on the grill, onion, relish. Ketchup, honey mustard, finished off with domestic beer..

    Sometimes , better then a steak.



  13. #83
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post

    I turned mine in.

    What an idiotic concept.

    Peace,
    Robert

  14. #84
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    I turned mine in.

    What an idiotic concept.

    Peace,
    Robert
    I was gonna go with a frozen white castle but Paul is already judging me .

  15. #85
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    From cooking for engineers, bring her calipers.

    On Friday night, Tina and I went to Chili's and I looked at the menu for their Smokehouse Bacon Burgers - apparently there were three different burgers. Even though I had seen the commercials a bunch of times, it hadn't gotten into my head that there was more than one burger. I asked the waiter if they all used the same thick cut bacon and he confirmed that they did - so I ordered a Jalapeno Smokehouse Bacon Cheeseburger as well as an extra order of bacon on the side. After the food arrived 30 minutes after ordering, I received a mess of a burger with the patty sitting 40% off of the bun and much of my lettuce under the fries instead of in the burger. Undeterred (for I had not come to Chili's to critique their food but to confirm they had the thickest bacon that I had ever seen), I examined the bacon that I received on the side and the two strips on the burger and determined that they were similar enough.


    From my pocket, I produced calipers with which I proceeded to measure the thickness of the bacon (one of the strips I had ordered on the side for this specific purpose - if I was going to contaminate some bacon, I wasn't going to sacrifice one of the ones on my burger!). Having done the measurements, I can now report that (on Friday, April 13, 2008 at the Chili's in Santa Clara, California) they served bacon that was (to an accuracy of 1/128th of an inch) 3/16 in. thick (4.75 mm ± 0.2mm) after cooking. In my experience, that's really thick bacon.


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    I have to hand it to Chili's the bacon truly is thick. In fact, I'll even call it extra thick. (They called it "triple thick", I'm not sure what that means unless there's a standard bacon thickness of 1/16 in. that I don't know about.) Does it truly hold up to its claim that it's the "thickest bacon you've ever seen"? My guess is that for most people that's true, but for me it was most definitely not the case.

    As a comparison point, I'll have to bring up Peter Luger Steakhouse which serves the thickest slice of bacon that I have ever seen. I reviewed the restaurant earlier this year on Orthogonal Thought and had made sure that I had ordered their bacon. Peter Luger's bacon was about 2 times thicker than Chili's. Granted, I did not bring calipers on my trip to New York, so the 1 cm thickness of the bacon was estimated, but there is a clear difference in thickness. Of course, Peter Luger's bacon is $4 a slice while Chili's is 70 cents (I paid $1.40 for an extra two slices).


    How did the bacon taste? It was well flavored (nice amount of smoke, but not overdone and not reliant on gimmicks like insane amounts of coarsely ground pepper) and had a good mix of fat and meat. Unfortunately, it was also barely warm and extremely chewy. Extremely chewy - there were some bites of the burger where I had to keep chewing for several ten or more seconds AFTER the burger had disintegrated. However, I did enjoy the flavor quite a bit and as I'm writing this, there's a part of me that wants to go back and try Southern Smokehouse Bacon Cheeseburger. (Personally, I wouldn't order the Jalapeno one again - the marinated jalapenos tasted a little odd in combination with everything. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I didn't enjoy the combination as much as my previous history with hamburgers would have led me to believe.)

  16. #86
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    This type of onion recipe really originated with hot dog pushcarts in NY, but they are great on burgers too.

    Ingredients

    • 1/4 cup olive oil
    • 2 pounds of yellow onions, halved and sliced
    • 2 teaspoons kosher salt
    • 1/2 cup ketchup
    • 1/2 cup brown sugar
    • 3/4 cup apple cider vinegar
    • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
    • 1 tablespoon smoked paprika
    • freshly ground black pepper, to taste
    • 1/2 - 1 cup of water

    Directions

    1. In a large skillet, over medium heat, heat the oil and add the onions. Cook until the onions are golden, stirring occasionally.
    2. Add the remaining ingredients. Lower flame and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
    3. Adjust seasoning. Serve warm.

    Total time: 45 min
    Yield: 1 quart

  17. #87
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by bobbys View Post
    I was gonna go with a frozen white castle but Paul is already judging me .
    Oh, I’m not defending you. Just hate the dumb “macho” concept all to pieces.

    Yes. Hate.

    Peace,
    Equal Opportunity Complainer About Stuff, And Overall Killjoy

  18. #88
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Ground chuck, barbecued. ETA grass fed, grass finished. That’s wood, not ashes, nor earth farts. Wood fire.

    Put whatever kid stuff you want on it.

    Peace,
    Oh, And, Yes, Well Done. Me Like Burnt Parts. Make Me Super Human! Hoot Hoot. Me Have Fire!

  19. #89
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  20. #90
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Finally, a thread to pull me back into the Bilge. Thanks.

    For the best burgers, I'll grind my own mix of 80% lean chuck with some beef short rib or beef shank, about an 80/20 mix. I used an old fashioned hand grinder.

    Season with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper during cooking. Grilled over hardwood lump charcoal when weather permits or on a heavy cast iron griddle when forced to cook indoors.

    Caramelized onions and a good blue cheese for me. Local bakery Kaiser rolls. If I happen to have any leftover cloves of baked garlic (I often do), I'll smash one or two onto a toasted bun.

    Cold beer to accompany the cooking process, a glass or two of Malbec with the burger. Potato wedges rubbed in olive oil and whatever dry spice I have in mind, roasted in a convection oven until crispy.
    I'm high on life. The trick is to grind it up and snort it.

  21. #91
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    I'm eating a flame-broiled Whopper from Burger King right now! I don't care what you foodie snobs thing. It is fantastic!!!!!!
    Skip

    ---This post is delivered with righteous passion and with a solemn southern directness --
    ...........fighting against the deliberate polarization of politics...

  22. #92
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Harmon's Hamburgers was the place when I was a kid, in 1975 a hamburger with fried onions was 50¢ same cost as school lunch. Back then they just sold hamburgers and cheese burger no fries or onion rings and you would get a funny look if you used ketchup or mustard, the place opened at 10:30am and stayed open until he ran out of the 40 pound sack of onions he prepped and fried in the morning, now they sell other simple food as well.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/maineto...-falmouth/amp/

  23. #93
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollingsworth View Post
    Finally, a thread to pull me back into the Bilge. Thanks.

    .
    And then I go and chase you away with post #92
    Skip

    ---This post is delivered with righteous passion and with a solemn southern directness --
    ...........fighting against the deliberate polarization of politics...

  24. #94
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    today's lunch off the grill

    standard 80/20 ground chuck, with egg, minced garlic, worstesire sauce mixed and formed into 1/3 pound patties
    smokehouse cheddar slices
    grilled bacon slices
    toasted onion rolls
    mayonnaise
    bun sized fresh tomato
    vidalia onion
    lettuce

    summer/fridge pickles on the side

    cape cop potato chips

    iced cold coca~cola

    nap
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  25. #95
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    i'd love to drag all of you guys into a milo's down here.

    you either LOVE IT or DESPISE IT.




    that is meat, cheese, onions (hot white onion chunks), pickles and that brown sauce you see. griddled bun tops.

    the fries are also the best ever in the history of time.

  26. #96
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    get thee to hamburger king ‘bama boy

    533B5615-E82F-4D60-82CB-C900093AD284.jpg
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  27. #97
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    i know nothing of this hamburger "king"... off to find it....

  28. #98
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    i know nothing of this hamburger "king"... off to find it....


    montgomery... no wonder i haven't seen it.

  29. #99
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by Iceboy View Post
    My biggest problem with most burger places is that they put the condiments on in the wrong order. Ketchup and mustard belong on the bottom. Lettuce, tomato, pickles etc belong on the top. When they put the lettuce etc on the bottom the burgers juice just makes it a sloppy mess.
    This order is particularly crucial with the Fat Boy (see above), where the cheese is often on the bottom of the bun, and the burger is topped with chili and chopped raw onions, the top of the bun receives pickles, mayo, and mustard, and the shredded lettuce is place between to absorb the mess of both. It's imperfect, but definitely helpful.

    Superboys has the messiest Fat Boy I've ever had:



    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Pless View Post
    turn the burger upside down
    I find this makes eating any burger less messy, and I have made it my standard practice for all burgers that have bun heels and crowns. Another great option is doing away with the bun entirely and wrapping the burger in a suitably curved section of a head of iceberg lettuce.
    Last edited by Flying Orca; 07-11-2019 at 01:50 PM.

    What are you doing about it?




  30. #100
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Pless View Post
    today's lunch off the grill

    standard 80/20 ground chuck, with egg, minced garlic, worstesire sauce mixed and formed into 1/3 pound patties
    smokehouse cheddar slices
    grilled bacon slices
    toasted onion rolls
    mayonnaise
    bun sized fresh tomato
    vidalia onion
    lettuce

    summer/fridge pickles on the side

    cape cop potato chips

    iced cold coca~cola

    nap
    I'm with you on everything except the cola. Blech, sugar.

    What are you doing about it?




  31. #101
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Pless View Post
    today's lunch off the grill

    standard 80/20 ground chuck, with egg, minced garlic, worstesire sauce mixed and formed into 1/3 pound patties
    smokehouse cheddar slices
    grilled bacon slices
    toasted onion rolls
    mayonnaise
    bun sized fresh tomato
    vidalia onion
    lettuce

    summer/fridge pickles on the side

    cape cop potato chips

    iced cold coca~cola

    nap
    "The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
    -William A. Ward



  32. #102
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    umami fart
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

  33. #103
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Got a place nearby that serves burgers with peanut butter on 'em. Haven't tried it, but those who have, say it's pretty awesome.

    -Guinness

  34. #104
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    Quote Originally Posted by Canoez View Post
    i lold.jpg

    What are you doing about it?




  35. #105
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    Default Re: describe your ideal burger

    what to do with leftover burgers from the grill?

    kat loves sloppy joes, i'm not big on them; but so far this 'sauce' of sauteed onions and crumbled burger patties is tasting pretty good. . .
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

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