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Thread: i was in zucchini hell today

  1. #1
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    Default i was in zucchini hell today

    i didn't even plant any zucchini this year. they just showed up in my melon patch. and when the cantalope didn't germinate, i let the zukes be. what's the worst that could happen, i asked myself.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    You can deep fry the flowers and thus avoid the fruit.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Too many in a small patch can cause a squash.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    There's a reason it's the last named vegetable (alphabetically speaking of course).
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  5. #5
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    My daughter let 3 plants live in her quite small garden. I reminded her that "zucchini" is, in Italian, a plural noun. Because nobody has ever grown one "zucchino".
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  6. #6
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    local grocer has taken to labeling them "summer squash" in a bid to get people to actually pay for zucchini. nice try freddy!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    What you gotta do now, L .W. , is to build several garden trugs ( see post # 6310 of Jim Ledger's ' Lofting the Brewer Catboat' thread in Building / Repair ) , load them with zucchini , and gift them to unsuspecting neighbors / friends - - problem solved




    Rick

  8. #8
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by hawkeye54 View Post
    What you gotta do now, L .W. , is to build several garden trugs ( see post # 6310 of Jim Ledger's ' Lofting the Brewer Catboat' thread in Building / Repair ) , load them with zucchini , and gift them to unsuspecting neighbors / friends - - problem solved

    Rick
    Years ago, a guy in Hanover NH road his bike down Main St dropping a zucchini into every car that had an open window. A cop wrote him a ticket for littering & he fought it in court. The judge heard the testimony and asked one question: "How big were the zucchini?". When the "perpetrator" answered "Mostly 18 to 24 inches" the judge responded "Then that's littering" & sentenced him to one hour of cleanup in the local town square.
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  9. #9
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    i'm going to need a simpler model of garden trug

  10. #10
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by L.W. Baxter View Post
    i'm going to need a simpler model of garden trug
    The cardboard flat a case of beer comes on.
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  11. #11
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Yeah, and if you think one is too small to pick today tomorrow it’s a baseball bat.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by hawkeye54 View Post
    What you gotta do now, L .W. , is to build several garden trugs ( see post # 6310 of Jim Ledger's ' Lofting the Brewer Catboat' thread in Building / Repair ) , load them with zucchini , and gift them to unsuspecting neighbors / friends - - problem solved




    Rick
    A link to post # 6310 of Jim Ledger's ' Lofting the Brewer Catboat' thread in Building / Repair .

  13. #13
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by L.W. Baxter View Post
    i'm going to need a simpler model of garden trug
    there's a loader for your tractor, eh?
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  14. #14
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    As they get larger they will make great snowshoes when hollowed out; if one misses that size then there's always the dugout canoe. I worked with a city kid transplanted to the country. We were driving to the woods and chatting about gardens. He said he put in 21 hills. I almost drove into the ditch. He then thought to take out all of the hills and the survivors grew enough to supply the county. Frozen bread keeps for years.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    I make some pretty mean zucchini fritters . .

    and the big ones do make fun baseball bats.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    We don’t grow them, anymore, and anything resembling a squash plant in our yard is composted. Two of our uncles grow them for real, so we always have them in season.

    When they do get big, like one of those loaves of bread they make a party-style sub sandwich with, you can halve them and core out the seeds, then “stuff” and bake them like a bell pepper.

    Also, even when they get big, if you remove the seed and slice them into spears and grill them with a bit of oil and some seasonings of some kind, they don’t taste like sand and ashes.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Also, eat the flowers.

    Saute them in some oil and eat them.

    Yum.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Murn' screwed up and put in four plants this year. Found that the bigger ones make great "zoodles" as a substitute for pasta.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    If there’s potato guns and pumpkin cannons, can we weaponize zucchini?
    The Algorithm Is Watching

  20. #20
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Eh, eat the small ones, toss the biggies in the compost - think of it as 'growing soil from the sun'.

    Then, next year, *volunteer Zukes! Win, Win, Win!

    You Does have a compost pile, Yes? 0-:

    *works for butternut squash seed too.. (-:

    btw, the best tasting & earliest tomato we have this year is from a volunteer that sprouted in the compost last year - and we saved and sprouted seed from for this year. hey, it is the volunteer state. (-:

    eta: and I just reread and saw all that was happening.. opps. 0-:
    Last edited by Durnik; 07-26-2021 at 10:41 PM.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    You can cut them into steaks, grill and serve them as zucchini burgers, which are actually pretty good with a bit of cheese and condiments.
    You need a quality bun though...

  22. #22
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    If only you'd grown courgettes....

  23. #23
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    ... or marrows ...

  24. #24
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    We have a prolific lemon tree, and even though it's on the back fence line you can clearly see it from out letterbox. That doesn't stop a phantom neighbour from dropping precisely 2 lemons in our letterbox all season long. We've never found out who it is, but I wish they'd stop. We have more than enough lemons of our own despite losing half the crop this year to windfall and herself inviting a friend round to pick the remaining fruit.

    If you were to employ the 'generous neighbour' letterbox disposal technique for you zucchini, you better pick them early while they still fit in a letterbox. Shame you don't play cricket in the States, I reckon a cricket bat would be the perfect tool for persuading a slightly-too-large zucchini into a hole. Maybe just use one of your larger zucchini as the persuader.
    'When I leave I don't know what I'm hoping to find. When I leave I don't know what I'm leaving behind...'

  25. #25
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    I stopped by the farmer's market at the bottom of the hill today, and bought just as many as I needed for dinner; about 8" long.

  26. #26
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Zucchini bread.

    It's easy and quick to make and freezes beautifully. Your friends and neighbors will welcome it too.

  27. #27
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    So it's a day later. Are you lost under a mountain of zucchini yet?

    Pete

  28. #28
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by epoxyboy View Post
    So it's a day later. Are you lost under a mountain of zucchini yet?

    Pete
    bought myself a 24 hour respite, wheeled a barrow full out to the cows. they were not pleased, but grudgingly ate them. ever seen a cow eat a squash out of pure resentment?

    now, about the cucumbers...

  29. #29
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by L.W. Baxter View Post
    bought myself a 24 hour respite, wheeled a barrow full out to the cows. they were not pleased, but grudgingly ate them. ever seen a cow eat a squash out of pure resentment?

    now, about the cucumbers...
    You mean unprocessed pickles?

  30. #30
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    You mean unprocessed pickles?
    I think the first fermented pickles probably were the result of somebody having a stupid excess, and tossing them into a salty pit in despair. Only to get really hungry a few weeks later ...

    Actually, I wonder how many people died discovering that something was only edible ... once.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  31. #31
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    they can be kind of fun though. like when you pick them one day, carefully lifting the leaves making sure you get every last one that's ready.... then you go out the next day and wonder "where in the HELL did this 3 ft cartoon zucchini come from?"

  32. #32
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanMc View Post
    they can be kind of fun though. like when you pick them one day, carefully lifting the leaves making sure you get every last one that's ready.... then you go out the next day and wonder "where in the HELL did this 3 ft cartoon zucchini come from?"
    Stealth zucchinis. Every garden has 'em.
    "If it ain't broke, you're not trying." - Red Green

  33. #33
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    Quote Originally Posted by L.W. Baxter View Post
    bought myself a 24 hour respite, wheeled a barrow full out to the cows. they were not pleased, but grudgingly ate them. ever seen a cow eat a squash out of pure resentment?

    now, about the cucumbers...
    I have watched cows in a field of pumpkins and they are pretty funny with one stuck on each foot, Hilarious actually
    (Which is how they "open" them)

  34. #34
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today

    I apologize in advance, but the title of this thread reminds me . . .

    Where do bad grapes go when they die?

    They go to raisin hell.

  35. #35
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    Default Re: i was in zucchini hell today


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