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Thread: The REAL Noah's Ark

  1. #1
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    Default The REAL Noah's Ark

    Of course I mean the one in Kentucky is more interesting than I imagined.

    The outside is impressive.




    But what is inside is the best part. It almost looks like a shopping mall.





    But it gets better ..... here decide for yourself.







    oh, I almost forgot.



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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Considered by many to be "educational"!

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Glen Longino View Post
    Considered by many to be "educational"!
    It is. Educational about how nutty some folks can be.
    "The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
    -William A. Ward



  4. #4
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    So, did they throw the dinosaurs overboard to lighten the load?
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Wow. How and the heck did they get dinosaurs and antelopes on the same boat? Is it a time machine, too?

    Marty, where were going, we don’t need roads!

    Peace,
    Shem

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by SKIP KILPATRICK View Post
    So, did they throw the dinosaurs overboard to lighten the load?
    Barbecued 'em when supplies ran short.

    .
    .

    “What use is a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?”


    ~~~ Henry David Thoreau

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by sharpiefan View Post
    Barbecued 'em when supplies ran short.
    but of course!


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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Who mucked out the place everyday for 40 days, or did they all have immaculate digestion?

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Arizona Bay View Post
    Who mucked out the place everyday for 40 days?
    Me and my brothers. It was a crappy job.

    Peace,
    Shem

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Me and my brothers. It was a crappy job.

    Peace,
    Shem
    sht...
    and you think faster than I can edit!

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Let's talk design for a moment. What's with the bulb bow? In modern ship design, it's there to move water aside to let the ship move forward more efficiently. Since this is a non-propelled drift vessel, what's the point?
    I was born on a wooden boat that I built myself.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Arizona Bay View Post
    Who mucked out the place everyday for 40 days, or did they all have immaculate digestion?
    In the Bible story, it rained forty days and nights. No real mention of how long they drifted around before grounding, must have been many months. Remember, the water covered the mountain tops, so that's a lot of water to drain away!
    I was born on a wooden boat that I built myself.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Rich Jones View Post
    Let's talk design for a moment. What's with the bulb bow? In modern ship design, it's there to move water aside to let the ship move forward more efficiently. Since this is a non-propelled drift vessel, what's the point?
    It is the only thing in the whole enterprise that has a point. Well, pointyish.
    It really is quite difficult to build an ugly wooden boat.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Arizona Bay View Post
    sht...
    and you think faster than I can edit!
    Hey, I’ve always wondered the same thing. I used to muck out horse stalls, so I know how much material passes through an animal.

    Peace,
    Robert

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by SKIP KILPATRICK View Post
    So, did they throw the dinosaurs overboard to lighten the load?
    They were hit by an asteroid shortly after stepping off.

    The unicorns died the same way.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Rich Jones View Post
    Let's talk design for a moment. What's with the bulb bow? In modern ship design, it's there to move water aside to let the ship move forward more efficiently. Since this is a non-propelled drift vessel, what's the point?
    Apparently it is the Stern - so a "Rudder".

    They apparently put some thought into this... my take is that since the Ark is "boat proportioned" it could function as a vessel rather than a buoy. they postulate that the Ark could have survived larger seas if drifting perpendicular to them. They surmised that , in a Global event, the winds and seas would likely be steadier for longer term - so the vessel would have had a better chance to stay lined up perpendicular.

    there is an article on their site.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Frank! View Post
    Apparently it is the Stern - so a "Rudder".

    They apparently put some thought into this... my take is that since the Ark is "boat proportioned" it could function as a vessel rather than a buoy. they postulate that the Ark could have survived larger seas if drifting perpendicular to them. They surmised that , in a Global event, the winds and seas would likely be steadier for longer term - so the vessel would have had a better chance to stay lined up perpendicular.

    there is an article on their site.
    and apparently Noah used Tyvek.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by SKIP KILPATRICK View Post
    and apparently Noah used Tyvek.

    Verily shall ye venture forth unto the Depot of Homes, wherein shall ye acquire the Wrap of Tyvek. Whence thou hast recovered said Wrap shalt thou sticketh the Wrap down with Tacks Of Monel. Thence shall The Ark be clothed in Tacky Wood. And use Gradalls...

    Thus shall ye be saved.

    Peace,
    Robert (Not Buying This Goofy Ark, Sorry)

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    brilliant!
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    How many cubits of Tyvek?
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    How many cubits of Tyvek?
    Tom,

    I would expect you to know Tyvek is measured in cubit feet.

    Sheesh.

    Peace,
    Robert

    P.S. I want to be clear I am making fun of these cats’ ridiculous version of the ark. Far be it from me to say some farmer didn’t float away in a boat with a barnyard full of fauna and survive a deluge of the “whole” world...

  22. #22
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    OK, I'll say it then. No farmer floated away in a boat with a barnyard full of fauna, surviving a deluge of the "whole" world. Leastways, not saving all the fauna species we've got maundering around nowadays. It is likely that more than one farmer floated around with a few goats or sheep, over the years.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

  23. #23
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    OK, I'll say it then. No farmer floated away in a boat with a barnyard full of fauna, surviving a deluge of the "whole" world. Leastways, not saving all the fauna species we've got maundering around nowadays. It is likely that more than one farmer floated around with a few goats or sheep, over the years.
    Oh, yeah, that’s my point. Fish tales, Man. An ancient game of “Telephone” or “Grapevine” or what have you.
    Think about it. Every time the story is told, the waves get a little higher, the trip more arduous, the task more Herculean.
    Three goats, some birds, and a cow become the San Diego Zoo in 12 generations, 15, tops.

    Peace,
    Robert

  24. #24
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    To cut Noah some slack, I'm sure that spending a week in the pouring rain in a small boat with a handful of soaked sheep, goats, and assorted hanger-on animals would have felt like at least 40 days and 40 nights.
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    "...they postulate that the Ark could have survived larger seas if drifting perpendicular to them. They surmised that , in a Global event, the winds and seas would likely be steadier for longer term - so the vessel would have had a better chance to stay lined up perpendicular. - Frank!


    "They" don't have much experience in high L/B boats in a seaway, methinks.
    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

  26. #26
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    To cut Noah some slack, I'm sure that spending a week in the pouring rain in a small boat with a handful of soaked sheep, goats, and assorted hanger-on animals would have felt like at least 40 days and 40 nights.
    With all that Tyvek, I’m sure the decks didn’t leak.

    Peace,
    Robert

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by mmd View Post
    "...they postulate that the Ark could have survived larger seas if drifting perpendicular to them. They surmised that , in a Global event, the winds and seas would likely be steadier for longer term - so the vessel would have had a better chance to stay lined up perpendicular. - Frank!


    "They" don't have much experience in high L/B boats in a seaway, methinks.
    Oh, here you go, thinking you know about boats and such...
    What weight Tyvek do they use on those fancy fishing boats you draw?

    Peace,
    Instigator

  28. #28
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    ^ post #23
    from Gilgamesh
    According to Tigay, Atrahasis tablet III iv, lines 6–9 clearly identify the flood as a local river flood: "Like dragonflies they [dead bodies] have filled the river. Like a raft they have moved in to the edge [of the boat]. Like a raft they have moved in to the riverbank." The sentence "Like dragonflies they have filled the river." was changed in Gilgamesh XI line 123 to "Like the spawn of fishes, they fill the sea."[13] Tigay holds that we can see the mythmaker's hand at work here, changing a local river flood into an ocean deluge.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilgam...ching_the_boat
    It really is quite difficult to build an ugly wooden boat.

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  29. #29
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    With all those square cubits of Tyvek lying around, why didn't Noah use a skin on frame Ark?
    If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by amish rob View Post
    Oh, yeah, .... An ancient game of “Telephone” or “Grapevine” or what have you.
    .... Every time the story is told, the waves get a little higher, the trip more arduous, the task more Herculean.
    .
    JESUS: They shall have the earth...

    GREGORY: What was that?

    JESUS: ...for their possession. How blest are those...

    MR. CHEEKY: I don't know. I was too busy talking to Big Nose.

    JESUS: ...who hunger and thirst to see...

    MAN #1: I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'

    JESUS: ...right prevail.

    MRS. GREGORY: Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

    GREGORY: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by TomF View Post
    With all those square cubits of Tyvek lying around, why didn't Noah use a skin on frame Ark?
    Ran out of thread to sew it together.

    Anyway, have you seen the claws on T Rex's feet? They would soon turn the skin into a sieve.
    It really is quite difficult to build an ugly wooden boat.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Rob, I don't know what weight Noah used, but it should have been 1.5-oz. triaxial laid parallel to the centreline and vacuum infused with super-low viscosity epoxy resin.
    Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Can we assume that the Kentucky new Ark has a nude bar to account for the Drunkenness of Noah?


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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by mmd View Post
    Rob, I don't know what weight Noah used, but it should have been 1.5-oz. triaxial laid parallel to the centreline and vacuum infused with super-low viscosity epoxy resin.
    I think you mean ROSIN?

    Peace,
    Robert

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    Default Re: The REAL Noah's Ark

    Quote Originally Posted by Peerie Maa View Post
    Ran out of thread to sew it together.

    Anyway, have you seen the claws on T Rex's feet? They would soon turn the skin into a sieve.
    Hello? Ceiling, much? What, don’t you guys put ceiling in cargo vessels?

    Peace,
    Robert

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