How do you give weight, find balance and make time in your life?

[Ted Hoppe]

this morning I was reading an Airhead motorcycle monthly as i crossed on the early morning ferry to San Francisco. They have numerous entertaining blurbs of upcoming events to areas hundreds or thousand miles away. Here I am now rolling around my head a 2200 mile ride over a 5 day period from the Bay Area to the western corner of Montana in late September. it would be an epic ride through the last weeks of summer over mountains, fields and deserts. this summer (and year) has been packed with busy activities, family commitments and the usual job demands which has left little in the way of riding. without another rider to force commitment and pushing for a tag along... I might be tempted to just stay around here, sail an overnight and waste another riding year.

I have two questions for you based on personal experience and practice. When managing life, loving family, needing to make a living and finding time to do things which interest you - how do you make the time without loosing balance? when you do - How do you rise above to organize your time, mind and ready the opportunity to strike out on an adventure without having other pressures of life get in the way?

[Norman Bernstein]

I have two questions for you based on personal experience and practice. When managing life, loving family, needing to make a living and finding time to do things which interest you - how do you make the time without loosing balance? when you do - How do you rise above to organize your time, mind and ready the opportunity to strike out on an adventure without having other pressures of life get in the way?

For me, and I susperct, for most other people, it's impossible to 'balance' life in the short term.... only in the long term. Various life events conspire to make life 'uneven', at best.

For example, I'm currently working a contract gig which requires 2 hrs of commuting each day, and gets me home rarely earlier than 7PM. I have little energy left after dinner, since I only get a couple of hours of relaxation time before needing to sleep. My granddaughter is current in the hospital for tests, and as a result, my wife is spending much of her time there, to help out my daughter. The past weekend, we had a large gathering of relatives from all over the East Coast, which consumed both weekend days, and was utterly exhausting. The weeds in my front yard have reached epic proportions, the lawn needs to be mowed, and our summer sailing season has been virtually non-existent.

Three months from now, that could all change. My granddaughter will be fine (hopefully), I'll be working on a different contract which can be done out of my office, saving 10 hours of commuting each week, we won't have a series of social engagements, etc. I'll get home in time for dinner, and with a great deal more energy than I currently can sustain.

I admire and am somewhat jealous of people whose lives aren't nearly as dynamic, which are more evenly paced and predictable.... I'm just not one of them.

If you can juggle your life to permit the occasional adventures, more power to ya!

[Cuyahoga Chuck]

I try to NOT do any of the above which, in itself, gives me a little extra time.

[Ted Hoppe]

your hands are full Norm. taking time for oneself often seems selfish given demands on modern life and family. Kudos to you and your efforts. we have roles we play - when we take care of ourselves and our families we find purpose, place and hopefully love. when we strike out to an adventure we discover our natural world as well as our place with other people.

i have come to a conclusion that our time here is finite after seeing the loss of outstanding family members. I am trying to balance work, family and life. I know that I will never be able to retire and will work close to the end of my life. I just don't want to miss those things that make me loved, well rounded, more informed, continually educated, curious and inspired. I also know if you pospone, look away or reject the oppurtunity, you miss out on the best things this life offers.

[redbopeep]

It's a very good question. Balance is what we're all striving for. Realizing what is important to YOU and then making sure those things are in your life is what can make it all work out for you personally, IMHO. When others around us push and cajole us into taking action and doing things that consume our energy and we have nothing left? Its hard. I agree with Norman that it's "long term" that most people find the balance in. Short term by definition varies for everyone. Some folks are happy as a clam, nose to the grindstone for a decade--knowing that a sabbatical is coming, something is going to change at that moment. Others have to have their "balance" be on a weekly basis. They must have a little of everything in their lives at all times. My husband and I? We're somewhere in the middle. We're living a balanced life (at present) aboard a boat, traveling, and working. The juggling is good right now. That's pretty much because everything is aligned in our lives. Rarely will you have the opportunity for this alignment if you "include" too many "other people's" priorities in your own life. Life the life you (and your partner) want. If it is rich in material things--great, if it is full of travel and adventure but you're just eeking along financially-great, if your health is wonderful--that's great too, if you can manage it all at once--great.Fair winds,

[Norman Bernstein]

Rarely will you have the opportunity for this alignment if you "include" too many "other people's" priorities in your own life.

Having reached the ripe old age of 60 (but not feeling it, at all), I can safely say that the biggest change with age is attitude. I now have two granddaughters, and a grandnephew who is, for all intents and purposes, as close to me as a grandson could be.... and our lives have gradually turned to revolve around them, as well as family.

20 years ago, I might have bristled at the constraints which currently dominate my life... but as I've gotten older, my interests and desires have changed. Family is more important to me, than ever, so a lot of things that might have been important for personal happiness two decades ago have been replaced.

I'm not sure that many people are capable of understanding this.... but if they knew the joy of snuggling a 6 week old to my shoulder..... or reading to a three year old... or playing with a 5 year old.... they might feel differently.

Don't get me wrong; the constraints I face do indeed block me from doing things I'd like to do.... I just have a better balanced attitude (even if life isn't quite balanced).

[redbopeep]

Having reached the ripe old age of 60 (but not feeling it, at all), I can safely say that the biggest change with age is attitude. I now have two granddaughters, and a grandnephew who is, for all intents and purposes, as close to me as a grandson could be.... and our lives have gradually turned to revolve around them, as well as family.

20 years ago, I might have bristled at the constraints which currently dominate my life... but as I've gotten older, my interests and desires have changed. Family is more important to me, than ever, so a lot of things that might have been important for personal happiness two decades ago have been replaced.

I'm not sure that many people are capable of understanding this.... but if they knew the joy of snuggling a 6 week old to my shoulder..... or reading to a three year old... or playing with a 5 year old.... they might feel differently.

Don't get me wrong; the constraints I face do indeed block me from doing things I'd like to do.... I just have a better balanced attitude (even if life isn't quite balanced).

So I'm glad that you've discovered what some of your own priorities are--and they're family. You're a guy, I'm a woman, we women have no issues with people deciding that family is most important. We understand that family is part of the balance. What I was getting at is there are many people in our lives who push (and sometimes try to shove) us into doing things we'd never do on our own. Those things might be family related, work related, or even travel related. When we get pushed around so much we don't figure out own own balance.

On the topic of travel--people romanticize it beyond belief. We live on a boat. We love sailing here on the US West Coast. We'll eventually sail elsewhere--in our own good time. But you wouldn't believe the people pushing, shoving, and judging us for NOT traveling immediately to the far reaches of the earth. Because? it's their out-of-touch with reality dream that if only THEY could live aboard a boat and travel anywhere they'd like, they'd go to the far reaches of the earth from where they are. That's not MY dream and I'm smart enough to know it, thank goodness.

Everyone's balance is unique--their own.

Fair winds,

[Vince Brennan]

I drink.

The rest is immaterial.

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

I work about 45 hours a week at an extremely competitive commission sales job, I have a part time job at a marine parts store. I have a major overhaul on my boat going on, a family member is out of work, so I am paying their mortgage.

I'm just a blue collar working stiff. I show up, and I can work harder than most, so I do okay. Balance has not a damn thing to do with it.

[ChrisBen]

I drink.

The rest is immaterial.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[tigerregis]

Turn on the GPS, tune the rig, drop the docklines. Captain Leary?

[ChrisBen]

Turn on the GPS, tune the rig, drop the docklines. Captain Leary?

+ as the mood strikes.

[Ted Hoppe]

Care to join me...

[skuthorp]

I have no time but the balance seems about right. A 7 day week is far too short!

[The Bigfella]

Love to Ted... but it seems I may have a problem extracting my scoot from its current location. Seriously. The current state of thinking is a night-time boat ride. Something to do with not having been handed a certain piece of paper on entry. The alternative is a return to my point of entry.

Enjoy your ride....

[Kevin T]

Three simple words,

Be Here Now!

[TomF]

What Kevin said.

I read something about time management by Anthony Bloom the other day that stuck with me. He said that the problem isn't that time drags or moves too quickly ... because time, after all, unfolds minute by at the same pace. (Yeah, bear with me here, you physicist types! Consider this a metaphor if you must. ) Bloom says that the problem is always that we live nostaligically in the past, or try to hurry madly to stay ahead of the curve ... staying an inch ahead of time. And in either case, the problem of balance is simply that we're not living entirely, wholly, in the present. In the instant within time where we actually are at any point.

Bloom suggested that being fully and totally immersed in our task of the moment, whatever the task, will typically lead to it being done better ... with less re-doing. And give us more "leisure" moments. Because those moments between tasks will be still, will be actually experienced, rather than be wasted worrying about a future we can't speed up, or a disappearing past we can't slow down.

[Kaa]

The advice of living in the present always seemed suspect to me. At the micro level it is reduced to the triviality of paying attention to what you are doing, and at the macro level it's just bad advice.

Kaa

[Norman Bernstein]

What Kevin said.

I read something about time management by Anthony Bloom the other day that stuck with me. He said that the problem isn't that time drags or moves too quickly ... because time, after all, unfolds minute by at the same pace. (Yeah, bear with me here, you physicist types! Consider this a metaphor if you must. ) Bloom says that the problem is always that we live nostaligically in the past, or try to hurry madly to stay ahead of the curve ... staying an inch ahead of time. And in either case, the problem of balance is simply that we're not living entirely, wholly, in the present. In the instant within time where we actually are at any point.

Bloom suggested that being fully and totally immersed in our task of the moment, whatever the task, will typically lead to it being done better ... with less re-doing. And give us more "leisure" moments. Because those moments between tasks will be still, will be actually experienced, rather than be wasted worrying about a future we can't speed up, or a disappearing past we can't slow down.

I appreciate the sentiment, but I think it gives short shrift to the abject pleasure of procrastination. Even procrastination occasionally has its virtues

[TomF]

I appreciate the sentiment, but I think it gives short shrift to the abject pleasure of procrastination. Even procrastination occasionally has its virtues

Oh yeah. Sometimes you discover that tasks even go away ...

[Kevin T]

Let me expand just a bit.

Sure you can be in the here and now and still procrastinate, take joy in your procrastination.

The other thing that at least works for me and I heard this from Andy Rooney one Sunday night, he said:

Avoid if you can, looking forward to things as that just seems to make time fly by, and when I thought about it I had to agree. If one spends so much time looking forward to an event, like a trip, or a sailing adventure, the date is suddenly upon you and you may have missed a lot of moments of the time in between. But whatever works for one may not work for another, so that advice and $4.50 will get you a cup of coffee.

And lastly, if I only had a week to live, I'd want to spend it on that 20 plus page atheist thread, as that would make the week seem like an eternity.

[John of Phoenix]

When managing life, loving family, needing to make a living and finding time to do things which interest you - how do you make the time without loosing balance?

I think you've defined balance right there. If you're doing all those things on a regular basis, you've achieved "balance". If not, cut out the crap and focus on what you really want to do.