a really good sit-on can last a long time

[Phillip Allen]

3 years ago my oldest granddaughter spent the week end with me... all was fine until she lost her mind and got verbally abusive... after a lot of yelling from her, I grabbed her arm to drag her into the bathroom for a thorough mouth washing with soap... that part didn't work and I had limits on how hard I would let the struggle become... instead, I ended up sitting on her back while she tried to get up and yelled more abuse at me... fat has its uses and I sat there for over half an hour while I called her mother to tell her what I was doing. Sarah thought it was pretty funny at the time.

that is what I call 'getting my bluff in' on the kids and both have now spent a couple of days here... getting along because they are convincved grandpa won't put up with much.

they are actually getting along here... something they cannot do at home. Last evening, we sat at the kitchin table and played cards... they are doing fine

[Domesticated_Mr. Know It All]

You sat on a three year old?
That's not cool Phil.

[Glen Longino]

You sat on a three year old?
That's not cool Phil.

No, no...three years ago she was 9 or 10!
Phillip is a child abuser, not a toddler abuser!

[Nicholas Scheuer]

Is that tale for real? It's all wrong on so many levels. The Grand children are much more civilized here.

[Domesticated_Mr. Know It All]

OIC.
You're right Glen.
I stand corrected.
I guess if you can't get respect you'll settle for fear eh?
Whatever works.

[Glen Longino]

Strangely, Phillip tries the same lard-arsed bully tactics around here, thinking that if it worked on his grandchildren, it should work on us. Poor devil!

[McMike]

I say good for you Phillip. You didn't abuse her. The result is harmony and fun, what more can you ask for.

BTW Mr. Know it All, you don't.

[Rich Jones]

A stern, no-nonsense tactic that worked without spanking or hitting.
My daughter is an elementary teacher who has learned that for the first couple of months of the school year, she has to be Attila the Hun. Very stern and come down hard on any misbehavior. Unless she establishes who is the Alpha in the room, the rest of the year can be Hell. Once that's done, she can ease up and all is well.

[Hal Forsen]

That apple must have fallen not too far from that big ol' tree...........

[Rich Jones]

I spent a week at my sister house a few weeks ago helping to renovate my nephew's house for his recently handicapped daughter. This girl's two sisters were being looked after by an aunt while the parents were away in N.C. caring for their daughter in the hospital. One of these girls is a totally spoiled ten year old that gets away with murder. Well, enter this aunt. BAM!! No hitting or abuse, but this kid just met her match with this lady. She made demands on this girl and didn't back down, no matter how much screaming and crying.
Ya gotta be firm.

[Bobby of Tulsa]

Show them by example that they can keep their weight and emotions in control with diet and excersise and never spending more than 1/2 hour a day on the net.

Phillip, some of these people have never been around others that really get physical, in my world you either held them or stood and watch them destroy everything and their self.

[MiddleAgesMan]

I had to deal with a 2 year old's tantrums about a month ago, which was really a piece of cake. Time-outs (two of 'em) in the crib was all it took.

I don't look forward to having to deal with that child 8 or 9 years from now.

I figure you did pretty good, Phillip, as long as you were cognizant of the risks of suffocation while sitting on the child.

[Phillip Allen]

She was 16 years old then... the 13 and 19 still fight physically at their home... I won't allow it here and they know it. It allows them to find out what they like about each other. Their poor parents have been through hell starting with the oldest daughter getting killed in a car crash at 18... 5 years ago. Since then the father lost a very high paying job which was supporting his family with my daughter staying home... he just about went round the bend in the last few years with not being able to find work and Sarah had to go back to work (assistant manager at walmart now). I've read that it takes a ratio of 6 to 1 to recover... every year of unemployment requires 6 years to recover. the household has been underemployed for about 4 years now. SIL is back at work now at a job with some future to it (walmart instead of Tyson).

some of you guys were probably pulling my leg but just in case... sitting on a violent 16 year old girl while she is doing her best to hurt me while I’m talking on the phone to her mother is not child abuse

[McMike]

She was 16 years old then... the 13 and 19 still fight physically at their home... I won't allow it here and they know it. It allows them to find out what they like about each other. Their poor parents have been through hell starting with the oldest daughter getting killed in a car crash at 18... 5 years ago. Since then the father lost a very high paying job which was supporting his family with my daughter staying home... he just about went round the bend in the last few years with not being able to find work and Sarah had to go back to work (assistant manager at walmart now). I've read that it takes a ratio of 6 to 1 to recover... every year of unemployment requires 6 years to recover. the household has been underemployed for about 4 years now. SIL is back at work now at a job with some future to it (walmart instead of Tyson).

some of you guys were probably pulling my leg but just in case... sitting on a violent 16 year old girl while she is doing her best to hurt me while I’m talking on the phone to her mother is not child abuse

I say again, well done. It sounds like you have good instincts. I wish I had you as a grandpa when I was growing up in hell, I know I could have used a friend like you.

[Phillip Allen]

thank you Mike... I feel like I did poorly at everything else and being grandpa is very comfortable for me... it was about time that I found my niche

[Phillip Allen]

I'm not pulling anyones leg. You need to have some professional help before we see you and your family on the Jerry Springer show or worse yet on the national news.

you have made erroneous assumptions

[Glen Longino]

I'm not pulling anyones leg. You need to have some professional help before we see you and your family on the Jerry Springer show or worse yet on the national news.

Thank you, Art!
One of your best posts I've seen!
Well said!

[Phillip Allen]

Perhaps, but I think not. Your 45,000 posts on this forum give a person a good basis for a diagnosis.

then you are foolish... and I doubt you went through all my posts before coming to your conclusion... it's more likely that you are influenced by my detractors

[PeterSibley]

I say again, well done. It sounds like you have good instincts. I wish I had you as a grandpa when I was growing up in hell, I know I could have used a friend like you.

Yep . You would have been fun and I'd have got you running earlier .

[Glen Longino]

then you are foolish... and I doubt you went through all my posts before coming to your conclusion... it's more likely that you are influenced by my detractors

"...my detractors..."

It's not all about you, Phillip!
It's about your grandaughters and their anger issues.
You've made plenty of posts about them in the past, or don't you remember?
Where did they pick up those issues? I'm sure you know!
Those issues need to be resolved before those girls have children of their own and perpetuate their sociopathy into yet another generation.
I've told you that before, but of course you ignore it.

[Paul Pless]

I wonder how different my life would be if I had had grandparents or parents that had sat on me. Its really quite hard for me to imagine. . .

[Bobby of Tulsa]

I wonder how different my life would be if I had had grandparents or parents that had sat on me. Its really quite hard for me to imagine. . .

What do you think they would have done if you started breaking glass or fighting with a sibling or trying to hurt yourself and would not stop. Some of you grew up in a white bread world and have no idea what happens in some peoples world. You have read books and think you know about this stuff. Get professional help, that sounds good but what about right now while things are happening.
Ever watch someone tear stitches out of a wound or try to cut their own throat? You can't just stand there and wait for the police to get there.

[Paul Pless]

Quite right Bobby. I was a perfect child.

[Bobby of Tulsa]

Quite right Bobby. I was a perfect child.

Maybe if some one sat on you you might have been less perfect.

[Glen Longino]

Maybe if some one sat on you you might have been less perfect.

If Phillip sat on him, he'd be skinny!

[Bobby of Tulsa]

Cut it out Glen. you are spossed to be a humanitarian.

[Paul Pless]

Cut it out Glen. you are spossed to be a humanitarian.

What is it humanitarians eat anyways? i never see him order anything in the pub but tequila and/or beer. . .

[Glen Longino]

What is it humanitarians eat anyways? i never see him order anything in the pub but tequila and/or beer. . .

Ask Amber!
I know, I know...I'm no damn good!

[pefjr]

I am continually surprised at how many experts we have in this bilge. Now, I see we have some child psychologists. This place is amazing. My grandpa was the best child psychologist I know of. He hung up a razor strap on the wall and made sure we grand kids knew what it was there for. He would take it down once in a while and pop it, but never did any of us cousins see him use it.

[Phillip Allen]

Quite right Bobby. I was a perfect child.

Hey... the only thing perfect about you is that you likely don't have hemorroids... which makes you a perfect...

[bobbys]

I dont remember my grandfather"POP" ever hitting me.

I loved him so much i would do anything he said right away.

My other grandfather never gave any direction or correction.

He was a Mobster and i was scared of him.

[MiddleAgesMan]

HUH?!!!!!

Huh what?

[Michael D. Storey]

No, no...three years ago she was 9 or 10!
Phillip is a child abuser, not a toddler abuser!

Oh, how I do chortle

[Phillip Allen]

Oh, how I do chortle

so you think I should stand by while a 16 year old shouts curses breaks dishes and furniture because she is denied computer use late at night... if you think that is good parenting then you have classed yourself with Glen
presumably you would recommend the same for any age as well... I pity the children deliberately raised in ignorance by pacifists

[B_B]

... sitting on a violent 16 year old girl while she is doing her best to hurt me while I’m talking on the phone to her mother is not child abuse

Just to be clear - she used language you didn't like, so you grabbed her by the arm to wash her mouth out with soap. She resisted using physical force and then had a >270 pound man sit on her because SHE was being physical?

[Phillip Allen]

Just to be clear - she used language you didn't like, so you grabbed her by the arm to wash her mouth out with soap. She resisted using physical force and then had a >270 pound man sit on her because SHE was being physical?

I just showed her your post... she agreed with you and walked into the other room laughing... (she says she likes you)

[B_B]

W... fighting with a sibling or trying to hurt yourself and would not stop. ...
Ever watch someone tear stitches out of a wound or try to cut their own throat? You can't just stand there and wait for the police to get there.

I quite agree that SOME acts require whatever restraints are necessary - hurting oneself, or other's would be the only such acts in my opinion.

That wasn't happening in the OP. The OP didn't like her language and escalated the confrontation.

[Phillip Allen]

I quite agree that SOME acts require whatever restraints are necessary - hurting oneself, or other's would be the only such acts in my opinion.

That wasn't happening in the OP. The OP didn't like her language and escalated the confrontation.

your 'judgment' requires that you make unfounded assumptions... lots of them... I personally am beginning to think (judge) you to be a fool... based on what you have written here

[Glen Longino]

your 'judgment' requires that you make unfounded assumptions... lots of them... I personally am beginning to think (judge) you to be a fool... based on what you have written here

Good lord!!!!!LMAO

[B_B]

your 'judgment' requires that you make unfounded assumptions... lots of them... I personally am beginning to think (judge) you to be a fool... based on what you have written here

Again, if you're unwilling to share all the details you leave it to the internetosphere to make assumptions. That you consistently don't like the conclusions drawn or the assumptions made hasn't changed your posting style, nor have you found it possible to live with the consequences; so you call people names. Good choice.

For example, your OP says absolutely nothing about breaking dishes or furniture. This 'evidence' was trotted out late in the party because the thread wasn't going the way you liked. We were, somehow, supposed to read your mind.

FWIW, If a >270 lb man ever thought it'd be ok to sit on my daughter because he didn't like the language she was using, he'd have another think coming. She too, would have another think coming.

But having an obese older man sitting on one's chest hardly never produces much in the way of constructive thinking at the time, as you well found out.

[bobbys]

Take away her cell phone and computer.

Go for the knock out punch.

I bet there's no way she would give up the cell phone.

She would have superhuman strength and throw you right off.

[Domesticated_Mr. Know It All]

Sitting on them is not a long term solution, especially at their age.
I would have treated them like adults and called the cops.
I never disrspected any of my Granparents at any time or age.
My parents would have killed me.
The fact that their Mother found you're behavior "funny" kinda says it all.

[Phillip Allen]

it's important for us ALL to remember that we don't know all the story... whether we are talking about my sitting on an out of control 16 year old... or what happens in a crowded theater or Mr Zimmerman's case...

One may still comment but it should be qualified in some way... "it sounds like..." as an example

I gave what I considered the pertinent information... from that one may not know If I'm sitting on her legs, her torso or head... whether she is facing up or down or whether she is lying in the dirt or a floor or a gravel road...

I sat on her back with her face down... if she had been face up, I wouldn't have been able to stay on top of her without hurting her and I certainly had no intention of doing that... though I think some here have considered that I was motivated to do that...

we in the bilge are ready to judge others on pretty short notice. It's been my observation that most of the 'judgments' are based on the percieved political position of the judgee

[Glen Longino]

it's important for us ALL to remember that we don't know all the story... whether we are talking about my sitting on an out of control 16 year old... or what happens in a crowded theater or Mr Zimmerman's case...

One may still comment but it should be qualified in some way... "it sounds like..." as an example

I gave what I considered the pertinent information... from that one may not know If I'm sitting on her legs, her torso or head... whether she is facing up or down or whether she is lying in the dirt or a floor or a gravel road...

I sat on her back with her face down... if she had been face up, I wouldn't have been able to stay on top of her without hurting her and I certainly had no intention of doing that... though I think some here have considered that I was motivated to do that...

we in the bilge are ready to judge others on pretty short notice. It's been my observation that most of the 'judgments' are based on the percieved political position of the judgee

So, why don't you take this rare flash of lucidity to apologize to El Jay for your hundreds of "judgements" based on his political positions?
Can't do it...can you?

[Vince Brennan]

Phil, without any pejorative connotations at all.... WHY did you feel the need to "share" this with the Forum?

If you needed some positive re-enforcement, I'm sure that you could have done better with your local Pastor, or even a local psychiatric professional.

I gotta tell you that this post smacks excessively of George Roberts.

[B_B]

Heck, I have a good answer for that!

both girls asked to come over
when at home, they fight constantly... physically too

well, even after a couple of days at grandpa's... no fights... they got along... they went to the park together... they went swimming together... to the library and sat at the table and played cards and watched DVD movies all together and no fights

that's why... I am proud of them both

Phillip, it's nice that your grandkids have a safe and quiet place to interact and learn to get along. It's good that you provide that for them. Living in a home where a child has died, the father's lost his job, mom has had to leave her post as homemaker, etc. must be very emotionally disquieting.

Maybe you could do yourself the favour and instead of attributing the peace your grandkids find at your home to you 'sitting on them' or 'not putting up with much', attribute it to them finding in your home, and in your presence, a place where stability and calm provide them solace and comfort.

[Phillip Allen]

Phil, without any pejorative connotations at all.... WHY did you feel the need to "share" this with the Forum?

If you needed some positive re-enforcement, I'm sure that you could have done better with your local Pastor, or even a local psychiatric professional.

I gotta tell you that this post smacks excessively of George Roberts.

I hope you read it because I posted a responce to your request... it got scotted...