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Thread: Why is it . . .

  1. #1
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    Default Why is it . . .

    That those you love the most cause the most hurt?
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    I wish I knew. I think part of it is a reaction to how much they depend upon you.
    The cure for everything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea
    Isak Dinesen

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
    That those you love the most cause the most hurt?
    That'll teach you to dance with the big awkward ape.

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Donn View Post
    That'll teach you to dance with the big awkward ape.
    You've net Paul? Lol
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  5. #5
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    Yeah Tracy
    I get it but it still makes me wish to scream.
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
    Yeah Tracy
    I get it but it still makes me wish to scream.
    then DO SO and get it over with
    The doctrine of nonresistance against arbitrary power, and oppression, is absurd, slavish, and destructive of the good and happiness of mankind.
    Personal failures are too important to be trusted to others.

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    I did, my pets think I'm m insane, plus it does nothing to the other person.
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    If he burned another pair of your sweats I'll come down there myself.

    (sorry you're feeling this way)
    "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken." (stolen from TomF )

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    We need more info before we can condemn Pau...er, I mean, whomever is hurting you!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Kitty, what has the big lug gone and done this time?

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Tracey: I appreciate what you posted (won't quote it because that will preserve it if you do delete it). Accepting other's faults and foibles is necessary but can be difficult. It's been that way for centuries hence the bible verse about complaining about the mote in another's eye when you have a bloody log in your eye.

    Some sayings that have helped me through a tough and continuing problematic time in my marriage:

    "We are inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts."
    Sir Harold George Nicolson

    “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
    Siddhartha Buddha

    You can't change people; you can only change how you react to them...

    Never attribute to malice that which may be due to ignorance, don’t attribute to genius what can more accurately be attributed to fortuitous chance.

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

    It's more important for someone to show you they love you then to tell you.
    The cure for everything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea
    Isak Dinesen

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    My sweetie and I have been together for 38 years. We still aggravate each other at times. Earlier in our history... there were several brushes with homicide... but she snapped out of it, and I eventually wised up. Counseling taught us some specific communications skills and coping tactics that have served us well, and seen us through subsequent rough times. I hope you can manage to survive and thrive as well!
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    http://www.harborwoodworking.com/boat.html

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Who said "Gag me with a spoon?"

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by David G View Post
    My sweetie and I have been together for 38 years. We still aggravate each other at times. Earlier in our history... there were several brushes with homicide... but she snapped out of it, and I eventually wised up. Counseling taught us some specific communications skills and coping tactics that have served us well, and seen us through subsequent rough times. I hope you can manage to survive and thrive as well!


    jeebus. that girl gotta be a saint...you did say she was in that business, right, David?
    Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
    François Villon

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    was talking about this only today....yes, it's true that all women are crazy. However, you only have to get along with one...so make your accommodations. It's the only thing you can do.
    Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
    François Villon

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Mars. Venus.
    “We have tracked the economic health of the nation for a long time. The reason we track those things is that the government is full of economists, not psychologists. If we know money doesn’t buy happiness, why are we optimizing for money?”

    Adam Kramer, PhD candidate, Psychology, U. of OR.


    Photographer of sailing and sailboats
    And other things, too.
    http://www.landsedgephoto.com

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Because if they didn't, there'd be nothing to write songs about. Or make movies.
    Which comes first," someone asked Ira Gershwin, "the words or the music?" "The contract," said Gershwin.



  18. #18
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
    That those you love the most cause the most hurt?
    Are you sure you have the cause and effect right?

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Donn View Post
    Who said "Gag me with a spoon?"
    Moon Unit Zappa I think.... In the song "Valley Girl"

    Never trust a man with a clean workshop.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Harbormaster View Post
    Because if they didn't, there'd be nothing to write songs about. Or make movies.
    And alcohol sales would plummet.
    "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken." (stolen from TomF )

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Im always available for romantic and Hot Tar roofing advice....

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Part of it is that when we love someone, we trust them and let down some of the psychic barriers, expecting (very unreasonably) that we will not be able to be hurt by them (and that we will not hurt them either.) To love is to risk.
    Await dreams, loves, life; | There is always tomorrow. | Until there is not.

    Grieving love unsaid. | Tomorrow will fail someday. | Tell them today, OK?

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by elf
    Mars. Venus.
    Venus wishes to smack Mars up along side the head somedays.
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
    That those you love the most cause the most hurt?
    Are you sure you want to discuss this very personal subject on an internet forum where it will be available to the world, if not forever, at least for a long long time?

    Something you might want to think about.

    Good luck, I wish you the best, Art.

  25. #25
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    My posts here regarding Mars are made with a great deal of humor. Lol
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  26. #26
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Art Reinhert View Post
    Are you sure you want to discuss this very personal subject on an internet forum where it will be available to the world, if not forever, at least for a long long time?
    A reasonable point.

    However, if I am not mistaken, this sordid congress in which we find ourselves was the source of the original hook-up.
    Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
    François Villon

  27. #27
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    I should have bought a jet ski, lol
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by pcford View Post
    However, if I am not mistaken, this sordid congress in which we find ourselves was the source of the original hook-up.
    Art's barely been around two months. He's not to know all the sordid details of the WBF. But that's never stopped any one of us putting our two cents in...
    "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken." (stolen from TomF )

  29. #29
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    You could tidy up around the place and make him some fried Chicken..

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbys
    You could tidy up around the place and make him some fried Chicken..
    Not likely
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  31. #31
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Having only been married for 25 years I am no expert, however, I was sent this tidbit from an old magazine that you may find helpful:

    "The good wife'sguide" This is an actual article from the Housekeeping Monthly Magazine13 May 1955

    Ø Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have adelicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him knowthat you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Mostmen are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especiallyhis favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

    Ø Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when hearrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

    Ø Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring daymay need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

    Ø Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of thehouse just before your husband arrives.

    Ø Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then tables.

    Ø Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a firefor him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest andorder, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfortwill provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

    Ø Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s handsand faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change theirclothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing thepart. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise ofthe washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

    Ø Be happy to see him.

    Ø Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to pleasehim.

    Ø Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, butthe moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember histopics of conversation are more important than yours.

    Ø Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes outto dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try tounderstand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be athome and relax.

    Ø Your goal: to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, andtranquility where your husband can renew himself.

    Ø Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

    Ø Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out allnight. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through thatday.

    Ø Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a chair or have him lie downin the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

    Ø Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low,soothing and pleasant voice.

    Ø Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment orintegrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will alwaysexercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to questionhim.

    Ø A good wife always knows her place.
    Stay calm, be brave....wait for the signs.

  32. #32
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
    Not likely
    Not even if he allows you to do so dressed in saran wrap... or your favorite lacy bits? <G>
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    http://www.harborwoodworking.com/boat.html

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  33. #33
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    He might get some of the "Good Wife " treatment if he'd just answer the phone!
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  34. #34
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Paul please call or you will end up like Glenn!.


  35. #35
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Men are from Mars because it rhymes with cars. . .

  36. #36
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by bobbys View Post
    Paul please call or you will end up like Glenn!.

    I don't know Glen like you do... he's the one on our extreme right?
    David G
    Harbor Woodworks
    http://www.harborwoodworking.com/boat.html

    "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

  37. #37
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by B_B View Post
    Art's barely been around two months. He's not to know all the sordid details of the WBF. But that's never stopped any one of us putting our two cents in...
    ummm. I was talking about Katherine and Mr. Paul Pless.
    Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
    François Villon

  38. #38
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Steve McMahon View Post
    Having only been married for 25 years I am no expert, however, I was sent this tidbit from an old magazine that you may find helpful:

    "The good wife'sguide" This is an actual article from the Housekeeping Monthly Magazine13 May 1955

    Ø Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have adelicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him knowthat you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Mostmen are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especiallyhis favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

    <snips>


    Ø A good wife always knows her place.
    Snopes says that this is likely a fake...not that I would argue with one word, of course.
    Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
    François Villon

  39. #39
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Thanks for the Zappa, Lefty. Very enjoyable!

    I know I hurt the one I love the most almost every night when I roll over in bed and trap her hair under my elbow. Then, when she tries to roll over to escape......

  40. #40
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Lew Barrett View Post
    Thanks for the Zappa, Lefty. Very enjoyable!

    I know I hurt the one I love the most almost every night when I roll over in bed and trap her hair under my elbow. Then, when she tries to roll over to escape......
    Two things:

    1. The mysteries of attraction grow ever deeper as I age.
    2. You are a lucky man Capt. Lew.
    Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
    François Villon

  41. #41
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by B_B View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by pcford View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Art Reinhert View Post
    Are you sure you want to discuss this very personal subject on an internet forum where it will be available to the world, if not forever, at least for a long long time?
    A reasonable point.

    However, if I am not mistaken, this sordid congress in which we find ourselves was the source of the original hook-up.
    Art's barely been around two months. He's not to know all the sordid details of the WBF. But that's never stopped any one of us putting our two cents in...
    Quote Originally Posted by pcford View Post
    ummm. I was talking about Katherine and Mr. Paul Pless.
    Seemed you were saying that Art wasn't aware that the whole sordid mess has been on display since PMJ coined the whole Kitty and Pooh thing.

    The suggestion that someone who's been here less than two months mightn't be aware of what happened >4 yrs ago seemed apropos.
    "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken." (stolen from TomF )

  42. #42
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Here's hoping Kitty and Pooh caught up onthe phone, and all is now good.

    Cheers,

    Bobby

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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Sorry, but anyone who suggests their "pets think" doesn't need advice.

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by hokiefan
    Here's hoping Kitty and Pooh caught up onthe phone, and all is now good.

    Cheers,

    Bobby
    He'd gave to answer the phone first. Lol
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by tigerregis
    Sorry, but anyone who suggests their "pets think" doesn't need advice.
    Huh?
    Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

  46. #46
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
    Huh?
    Clearly channeling another member of the forum who thinks they know more than their cat.....
    How's the "new" job going?
    Never trust a man with a clean workshop.

  47. #47
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Tracey View Post
    this thread now seems.....familiar...LOL! you think he would be able to remember the last time this happened!

    Have a great weekend- I hear the weather should be wonderful
    I hear they only have an attention span of about 15 minutes at this age....
    Never trust a man with a clean workshop.

  48. #48
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Katherine.
    Your paul is a sweet, stubborn, naively insensitive bone head.
    I pick this up from 12,000 miles away.

    Just hit him with a frypan and then tell him what's wrong.
    The only way messages get through, are when they are in a dazed state when they can't get their "logic" thingy to jump start.

  49. #49
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Meli View Post
    Katherine.
    Your paul is a sweet, stubborn, naively insensitive bone head.
    I pick this up from 12,000 miles away.

    Just hit him with a frypan and then tell him what's wrong.
    The only way messages get through, are when they are in a dazed state when they can't get their "logic" thingy to jump start.
    Ah......... Er............ Meli........ Dear......... Right now I'd say that advice on relationships from you is kinda like beauty tips from Phyllis Diller.....
    Never trust a man with a clean workshop.

  50. #50
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    Default Re: Why is it . . .

    On the contrary, I knew I was right in hindsight
    I should have hit mine with a frypan years ago

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