Bilge best Quotes.

[Mrleft8]

Wowzer! You have a talking pizza? What'd he say?

It was some Zen Buddhist drivel....."Make me one with everything"....Or some such nonsense....

[bobbys]

Hmpft!
I figgered fer shure my pizza quote would make it in here......

.

06:49 AM #57 Mrleft8

• Chief Adm!n.

LocationGuilford CtPosts32,899

The trouble with pizza sauce as a vegetable is that it's barely tomato sauce. More like tomato based sauce, with high fructose corn syrup, salt, food coloring, preservatives, and flavorings.
And broccoli on pizza is very good. Brussels sprouts are not a vegetable. They are alien beings from the planet ICK. And their plan is to take over earth by infiltrating human beings through the alimentary canal, and creating small but deadly pockets of lethal gas which are expelled from the decaying husks of their hosts...

Never trust a man with a clean workshop.

Don't say i do not help commie pinkos round here!lol

[Mrleft8]

ummmmmmmmm............................... Not that one....... But thanks for trying.....

[bobbys]

ummmmmmmmm............................... Not that one....... But thanks for trying.....

.

Just how many Aliens from IKEA infiltrating us through pizza posts do you have?lol

[Mrleft8]

I was referring to the "Kingdom, Phylum, Class..." one.... But never mind.... It's no good now. Kinda like a joke you have to explain....

[Mrleft8]

OK....I'll do it.... But just because I'm humble....

Re: Pizza is a vegetable?
Kingdom: Vegetable.
Phylum: Under "V" (As in: "All Hail to the V!")
Class: Home Ec.
Order: Yes please! And can we get another pitcher of beer with that!?
Family: Stone
Genus:.... Not really.... I just studied hard for this one....
Species: Pizza.

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

Genus is flatbreadi

[George Jung]

ACB spotted it:

Originally Posted by SoundbounderYou anti-Dentite, you!!!
Oh sure, go ahead and mock me.

Mark my words - let English teachers work after-hours as Dentists, and who knows what spit-covered Hell we'll slither into. Peridontics? Orthodontics? The moral fiber quivers.

Next we'll hear of French teachers playing at being Accountants during tax season, Math teachers working as Summer Camp directors over the holidays. Or God help us, Phys-Ed teachers writing and selling songs to country singers.

No. There must be an end to it, and it's long been said that sunlight is the best disinfectant. Much better to avoid this rush into depravity, and have teachers take part-time jobs in the porn industry ... where we can all see just what they're doing.

TomF

from http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthre...me-Job-Perhaps

[Mad Scientist]

Originally posted by Ian McColgin:

Jerks in Mom and Dad's part of Connecticut think they can nail a moving rabbit from a moving snowmobile. Fortunately for rabbit safety, holding the beer in the left hand makes aiming harder . . .

Tom

[seanz]

Fourteen is too young. If you can't legally drink, drive a car, stay out past 9 PM, or have sex, you are too young to cut off your winky.

...

[bobbys]

#13 pefjr

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old fiddler


Join DateDec 2008LocationLas Vegas, NV.Posts10,782

Re: Place your nominations for troll of the year here. Official voting thread to fol

I would think the best troll would be the one that catches the most fish. Since most folks here skip over the threads and posts of those far out posters, you know who they are, I would say that Sam F and Norm are the best because they get read. Sam F can carry a thread on his back alone for several miles through a desert without water and not get tired.

[Paul Pless]

I don't particularly care to do Tea Ceremoney before unwrapping my waterstone from its velvet cover after lifting it from its sandlewood case, so I'm with Donn, happy to use the ancient method that got its Scary Sharp public name only recently but which I know grandfather first learned from some French master craftsmen who built the planes Grandfather tested during WWI. It's not, of course, all that great for sharpening reel lawnmower blades or axes, but it's finastkind to chisels and plane blades and such.


I'd bet the Japanese where using water stones way before sand paper was commercially sold. So which is more "ancient" or time tested?

Not pretentious in the least, very funny Ian.

[seanz]

I still own one stick shift vehicle. It's a toploader 4 spd from an SCJ Torino adapted to my 70 Bronco. The shift linkages to the trans are 1/2" dia and it's all pretty new. I can't think of anything offhand that feels quite like it does. It's tight, direct and precise, for something as industrially crude as this unit is. If the rest of the truck rotted into dust, I would move the trans and shifter into my living room and build a glass top table around it, just for me.

[Paul Pless]

please tell me my phrasing/wording is not lost on this shallow crowd!

I can't speak for the rest of this crowd, but I have no clue what you are trying to say. When I read it first four hours ago, or again right now. Not a clue.

Bobby

Classic!

[switters]

and classy, I would like to use this one sometime but if I said it out loud people would know I was quoting someone else.

Ian McColgin
Senior Member

Join DateApr 1999LocationHyannis, MA, USAPosts22,382

Re: How does your country rank in terms of Economic Freedom?

johnw, it's easy enough to back-click through the Heritage Foundation's materials to the bedrock of intellectual marshmallow upon which they built this shakey ediface.

[pefjr]

The whole damn thread
Fixed That For Ya

Never laughed so hard.

[hokiefan]

im still here
im a woman
i really am
honest i am
i also build boats
so im a woman building boats who posts
or am i a post who thinks like a woman but dreamt she was a boat
nah. im a boat stuck on a post
maybe, just maybe, im a post that wants to be a woman.
awh, yea gads, this is all a bit confusing.
i better ask a man for help.

at skipper's request :-)

[skipper68]

at skipper's request :-)

She should get copy rights! WAY true. Thanks very much.:

[David G]

Well... this quote didn't come from the Bilge. It came from Misc. Nonetheless... I love it. It's Todd Bradshaw explaining how a 10 second video isn't going to provide enough information to diagnose causes of a bit of leach flutter - regardless of the willingness of any number of folks to take a WAG at it.

"The internet is not going to provide the answers."

[skipper68]

Smart you are

Well... this quote didn't come from the Bilge. It came from Misc. Nonetheless... I love it. It's Todd Bradshaw explaining how a 10 second video isn't going to provide enough information to diagnose causes of a bit of leach flutter - regardless of the willingness of any number of folks to take a WAG at it.

"The internet is not going to provide the answers."

Don't tell them. idjits.UGHHH

[pefjr]

• 02-08-2012, 10:51 AM #16
  Norman Bernstein
  
  gadfly
  
  
  Join DateNov 2004LocationSharon, MAPosts33,264
  
  
  Re: Where is Joe Biden?
  
  Originally Posted by Nicholas Scheuer
  She'd have to revert to her 2008 hairdo, though.
  
  

  Yeah, her current hairstyle is a serious sartorial mistake... she looked much better with shorter hair. Norm

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Nick and Norm discussing the hair 'do' of Hilliary Clinton.
  

[Dave Gray]

Originally Posted by Horace
blah, blah, blah


I'm just curious- Is your name really Horace? It's like your parents decided that you needed to be hated before you were even born.
However did they know?

Doug

[purri]

^Yeah, he likes hectoring the mob in the bigle.

[C. Ross]

You guys need to stop being such negative nellies.

http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthre...-Birth-Control

[Peerie Maa]

"You're determined to make me call your children someday and tell them you're dead, aren't you?"

Mrs Longino on the topic of lowpin ower a dyke

[seanz]

That was a true classic.

[Larks]

Just for those who don't know "In absentia" is a Latin phrase. There's no precise translation but broadly it means "expensive and lots of things get broken"

Phil Y, on Duncans plans to have his new Dragon hauled out and derigged etc "in absentia".

[botebum]

In regards to a joke Rich shared-

aren't you afraid of the PC police?

No I'm using a Mac

Doug

[Dutch]

OMG - too damn funny! from the schooner thread in b and r

I have a great respect for the Forum as a whole.


Doug

[sailboy3]

Chris Coose on kids:

If I did a cost analysis on kids, besides a pencil and paper, I'd want a loaded gun near by. (Imagine the 55' ketch I could have?)

[George Jung]

As a consequence of marriage, I have learned that there are certain things in life which I would consider funny, but that I KNOW would not amuse my wife.

Norman Bernstein


I knew ya had one in ya, Norman! Welcome aboard.

[Bob (oh, THAT Bob)]

The whole damn thread
Fixed That For Ya


Never laughed so hard.

Thread gone! Can't find it anywhere! It was funny as hell, right from the get-go! Did it poof?

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

Found while rummaging about in the basement...

I'm cheap to rent but expensive to buy. However, the best features are unavailable in demo mode.

[Peerie Maa]

From a trolls thread:

How do you confuse a daily Mail reader?

Tell him that Asylum Seekers are the natural predators of pedophiles.

[switters]

Bilge title "restraining orders and kids"

My first thought, that is harsh, and then I thought of my kids calling all the time for money and to borrow the truck and thought it was a good idea after all. Turns out the title was a bit misleading.

[George Jung]

from http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthre...-married/page2

As for how I came to this position? Well, two wives and three daughters might have caused it. I fell into a barrel of boobs and came up sucking my thumb.

Another Cleeksterism!

[ChrisBen]

"Loping a way, makes Martin look guilty."

Guilty of what? Ilegal loping? Loping without a license? Loping while eating skittles?

[seanz]

Bit unexpected.

The people's flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyred dead,
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
Their hearts' blood dyed its ev'ry fold.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

Look 'round, the Frenchman loves its blaze,
The sturdy German chants its praise,
In Moscow's vaults its hymns are sung
Chicago swells the surging throng.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

It waved above our infant might,
When all ahead seemed dark as night;
It witnessed many a deed and vow,
We must not change its colour now.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

It well recalls the triumphs past,
It gives the hope of peace at last;
The banner bright, the symbol plain,
Of human right and human gain.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

It suits today the weak and base,
Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place
To cringe before the rich man's frown,
And haul the sacred emblem down.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

With heads uncovered swear we all
To bear it onward till we fall;
Come dungeons dark or gallows grim,
This song shall be our parting hymn.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

[bobbys]

#83 BrianW not your average member


Join DateNov 2002LocationSitka, AKPosts16,505

It went as I suspected...

A horrible problem is highlighted, a possible cause is mentioned.

Proof that something bad has happened is offered, but the cause is not actually proven.

A certain group can't resist jumping on the bandwagon, despite the lack of proof.

Another group says... "show me".

Finally, a self absorbed ironic monkey figure proclaims an all knowing status, and casts judgement upon any and all who fail to concede.

It's the usual Bilge script.

[seanz]

Might I suggest that the OP close the thread as it's become a self justification matter outside the original question posed...

Genius.

[Donn]

Sorry, but YOU don't get to set the standard for someone else's beliefs.

[David G]

From wardd --

my biggest worry is with global warming canada may melt and run on the usa


<Aaaarrrrrggggghhhh... the politesse.... she burns!!!! Rinse me in the Cuyahogo, please>

[Farfalla]

05-11-2012, 11:35 PM

#8

Meli
Senior Member

Join DateNov 2010LocationMelbournePosts5,054

Re: Same Sex Marriage Was a Christian Rite

Exactly why do Catholic Priests have to be celibate?
Like nuns are the brides of christ.?
Does this mean that god is a bisexual polygamist?

Always pondered this one.

Oh Meli, You is a BAD, BAD, BAD girl!!

But I can't help but laugh at that

[Paul Pless]

What exactly is a troll?

. . .

[skuthorp]

Courtesy of Wicki..............

Old Norse: Troll kalla miktrungl sjǫtrungnis,auðsug jǫtuns,élsólar bǫl,vilsinn vǫlu,vǫrð nafjarðar,hvélsveg himins -hvat's troll nema þat?[2]

Anthony Faulkes translation: 'Trolls call memoon of dwelling-Rungnir,giant's wealth-sucker,storm-sun's bale,seeress's friendly companion,guardian of corpse-fiord,swallower of heaven-wheel;what is a troll other than that?'[3]

John Lindow translation: They call me a troll,moon of the earth-Hrungnir [?]wealth sucker [?] of the giant,destroyer of the storm-sun [?]beloved follower of the seeress,guardian of the "nafjord" [?]swallower of the wheel of heaven [the sun].What's a troll if not that?[2

[pefjr]

Paul Pless
homeslap

Join DateOct 2003LocationHellPosts36,048

Re: Just a pre-emptive Goodbye Dear World, I'm off to join the banned.

Originally Posted by Art Reinhert
It has always been apparent that a lot of the posts in the bilge are the consequence of medications.
Most of those posts are in the evening hours and the medications involved do not require a prescription, only 10 bucks and a trip to the liquor store.



You're full of ****. I suspect I know Milo as well as anybody here. I suspect I've spent more time with Milo in person than anybody else here has. I've enjoyed his company at his house, in his basement shop, at restaurants for lunch and out to dinner with just him or with his wife along. Milo drinks less than most every other forum member that I've met, which is over a hundred. . .

You're an idiot.

Are you legit?

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right. . .


I have never seen such a post from PP, probably will not ever see it again, so I thought it better be recorded for the record book. After all it is History in the making.

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

Hunting up a recipe found this gem from Margo.

had I not had a band saw in the garage, the rutabaga would not have made it in the pot.
It is not a first cousin to a turnip, it is a freaking rock!

[Old Dryfoot]

From The Growing Acceptance of Atheists thread.

Originally Posted by bobbys
.

What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything..

Sorry i could not resist.....

Originally Posted by Arizona Bay

[pefjr]

The Ultimate Ethnic Joke ......Rum_Pirate
Great creative thread, still laughing.

[skipper68]

Where is the GD pub? UGHH..2 pages.