View Full Version : Horn of Africa Luxury Cruise

Chris Ostlind
05-08-2009, 10:17 PM
We are putting a deposit down. If anyone else wants to come, let me know......

Somali Cruise Package

This is the best idea yet! Be sure and read the whole thing.

I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now.

Found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high @ $800/day/person double occupancy, but I didn't find that offensive.

What WAS encouraging and quite enlightened, is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their "high powered weapons" along on the cruise. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them, right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as optional marksmanship training.

The cruise lasts 4 to 8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:

* $800/day double occupancy (4 day max billing).

* M-16 full automatic rental $25/day, ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing at $15.95.

* AK-47 rifle @ NO CHARGE, ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball at $14.95.

* Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55/day, ammo at 25 rounds armor piercing at $9.95.

* Crew members can double as spotters for $30/hour (spotting scope included).

* Special limited time bonus! Wow --- RPGs at $75 and $200 for 3 standard loads.

* Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment AND coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm - 6am.

* Meals are not included, but costs seem quite reasonable.

* Most cruises offer a mini-bar.

* These gung-ho entrepreneurs even offer......... get this........ wait for it........

* MOUNTED MINIGUN at just $450 per 30 seconds of sustained fire! (Sign me up for that!).

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even guarantee "FUN

The cruise line offers a partial money-back offer if not completely satisfied.

Some text from their ad:

We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini-gun charges not included).

How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? Easy! We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at less than 3 knots.

We will repeat this for up to 8 days, making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia.

At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals with loud disco music beamed shoreside to attract attention.

Cabin space is limited, so respond quickly. Reserve your package before the end of May and get a great bonus --- 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, here were a few testimonials......

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big game in Africa again.
I felt like the Kommandant in Schindlers List!" - Lars, Hamburg, Germany.

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12-year-old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. PIRATES=0, PASSENGERS=32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English" - Ned, Salt Lake City, UT, USA.

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their squirrelly aim. Reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" - "Chopper' Dan, Toledo, OH USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. This is must do! - Zeke, Minnahaw Springs, KT, USA.

Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem.
These folks deserve a medal!

05-09-2009, 03:41 AM
a LAW am more better, and M-79's are more fun....

Phillip Allen
05-09-2009, 07:13 AM
:) .

05-09-2009, 07:36 AM

So there.


Paul Pless
05-09-2009, 08:12 AM
'libertarian magic dust'

> :D

George Jung
05-09-2009, 09:21 AM
hehehe.... forwarded this one to my 'easily agitated' friends.

Phillip Allen
05-09-2009, 10:00 AM
The PC crowd George?.are you pullin the wings off a butterflies again?