View Full Version : Kinky S*x

10-19-2008, 08:24 PM
Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's minivan when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, 'Oh, big boy, whip me, whip me!'

Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand.

But in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.

About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, 'Did you get these marks having sex?'

Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy [let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her] eventually admits that, yes, she did.

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, 'I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen.'

Flying Orca
10-19-2008, 08:40 PM
Oh dear. That's bad enough that you might like some of MY one-liners...

10-19-2008, 08:42 PM
Should have tried it on his Aunt Enya

10-19-2008, 08:45 PM
That's so bad it's good :D:)

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
10-19-2008, 08:45 PM
Nice one Nanner.
Here's my entry.....

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc."

The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!"

The doctor replies, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease."

The guys says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way. No need to operate!"

"Oh thank God!" the man replies.

"Yes!" says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself!

10-19-2008, 08:54 PM
He, he.

Have you ever heard cats making whoopie? A yowl you can't mistake, you think someone has to be wounded. But no, just a penis that's sorta barbed stimulating the girl to put eggs forward.

However, we ain't cats. I don't have any further comment except to say that a lot of things get human girl's eggs moving.

10-19-2008, 09:30 PM
What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is when you use a feather.
Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

10-20-2008, 03:22 AM
Kinky or Erotic.....whatizzitt when ya get a gal that wakes up most of the marina with her "whines" of ecstacy at 2 a.m.......and half the folks row by the next morning asking that you keep that one ashore someplace....

Old Sailor
10-20-2008, 06:29 AM
Paladin, had a bartender tell me that once. Never took her back there.
Old Sailor

10-20-2008, 11:07 AM
Oooooh boy... :eek: here we goes again :D...