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View Full Version : Going to have to have a talk with a high school coach



cs
08-15-2008, 06:30 AM
Yesterday I sent a note to school with the kid for her high school cheerleading coach. In the note I asked that my daughter be excused from running that day being as she has had a sore throat and not been feeling well at all the last 3 days. I included my number and a note to call me if there were questions or concerns.

The kid told me when I got home that the coach had told her that my note wasn't good enough and made her run anyway.

I am the parent here, not the coach. If I send a note to school asking my kid to be excused from something because of illness, my wishes better be granted or I better recieve a phone call explaining why not.

Chad

Bill R
08-15-2008, 06:38 AM
Welcome to public schools...

The elementary and middle schools my kids go to HATE it when they see me coming. I don't let that $#!t happen.

I have had to have several "meetings" with the administration to explain just what is and is not acceptable. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. They seem to have an attitude that you as the parent have no clue, they know better than you and they will do whatever they want and you had better not question them...

The classroom teachers have been great- the problem is the administration and the support staff.

hansp77
08-15-2008, 06:49 AM
My Sister used to get really bad sun-stroke really easily.
One summer while she already had a dose of sunstroke, and for a cross-country run, out highschool PE teacher did the same thing and ignored my fathers note excusing her from it and made her do the run.
My father turned up at school and gave the teacher (a real b!tch btw) a scorching lecture... in front of a class;)
Her face was redder than my sisters before it was over:D

PE teachers seem to be the worst in this regard.
Give em hell.

Mrleft8
08-15-2008, 07:15 AM
I hear helicopters.... Chad, if you thought yer kid was too sick to run, then you should have kept her home. Once you delegate responsibility to another (coach) you have to accept his descision, or stop the relationship. Micro-managing (as you well know) will only breed contempt.

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
08-15-2008, 07:37 AM
Take long enough to make up your mind - and if you still think its serious, ignore the coach and go directly to the top of the tree.

cs
08-15-2008, 07:49 AM
In my opinion there is a difference in being well enough to go to school and well enough to run 2 miles. I felt that she was well enough to go to school, not anything continguous, but it would be better for her not to run 2 miles.

This is not micro management. Micro management is telling somebody to do something and than watching over their shoulder and telling them how to do it. This is a case of where I, as a parent, made a decission and the coach/teacher ignored my decission and did not even call me to discuss it. Even went as far as telling the kid the my note "wasn't good enough."

As far as starting at the top that is not my style. I always prefer to start at the lowest level and give these folks the benifit of the doubt and the chance to work it out. If than it don't work, than I move on up.

Chad

Mrleft8
08-15-2008, 08:12 AM
Chad.... That'd be like sending her to school with a note that said " My daughter's not feeling well, has a sore throat, so please excuse her from today's mid-term exam." If she's not well enough to do everything that's expected of everyone else, she's not well enough to be in school.

Phillip Allen
08-15-2008, 08:29 AM
"schools" do NOT trump the parental authority...this is an extension of the education industry based musical credential...the teacher has a diploma...the doctor has a diploma...your diploma is not in evidence...by definition…you are trumped by the system

Tylerdurden
08-15-2008, 08:29 AM
Sending ones kid into the public fool system is asking for it. I am so lucky that mine got out before the prison camp mentality took hold.
My middle daughter went to college to major in education and I warned her about the state of education today and how it was indoctrination not education. I showed her several articles and who were the people who started modern education and where their funding came from. After one year she switched her major and told me I was right once she had seen it from the inside. 3 of her friends switched too and later thanked me for letting them know.

Its disgusting what fools we were not to see it coming though many raised the alarm. Good luck Chad, remember your dealing with Nazi's and dumbasses. Teach you daughter escape and evasion if a lock down comes to her school as you don't have any control over your child in an emergency. The school is the final authority and they have plans in place to haul the whole student body to undisclosed locations in event of emergency. If you don't believe me ask to see the emergency plan. If you lucky enough to get to see it, it will rock your world.

TomF
08-15-2008, 08:29 AM
I disagree, Lefty.

You've never been a bit under the weather, and while you're fully capable of doing office work, you wouldn't be up to a workout?

cs
08-15-2008, 08:29 AM
I disagree with you. There is a big difference in attending school and running 2 miles after school. She went to practice to be part of the team. If she is not well enough to run at least she is at practice being part of team. She could have just came home and missed practice, but the coach has a rule that if you miss "x" amount of pracitice she will kick you off the team.

Side note. This is the same coach that re-schedule practice and told my daughter that she had to come to practice instead of going to her dentist appointment.

Chad

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
08-15-2008, 08:49 AM
...
As far as starting at the top that is not my style. I always prefer to start at the lowest level and give these folks the benifit of the doubt and the chance to work it out. If than it don't work, than I move on up.

Chad

You didn't start at the top - you started with the note - which was ignored.

Couple of questions to ponder.
Did the coach read the note?
Can the coach read the note?

Keith Wilson
08-15-2008, 08:58 AM
Yep, there's something about all too many PE teachers and coaches; incipient fascism, or control issues, or something. Go for it - you need to make that coach fear you.

Milo Christensen
08-15-2008, 09:06 AM
Yep, there's something about all too many PE teachers and coaches; incipient fascism, or control issues, or something. Go for it - you need to make that coach fear you.

It is, after all, cheerleading.

Tar Devil
08-15-2008, 09:07 AM
Chad, don't meet with the coach alone. Seriously. You bring someone with you and arrange the meeting with someone in administration.

openboater
08-15-2008, 09:12 AM
Give'm HELL.

I and my wife did and it brought us and our 3 kids closer together.

School district Superintendent, Board of Ed president and principles all know my name very very well. I find putting it in writing far superior than just a call.

Have your child or you drop a letter off to school principle.

Mrleft8
08-15-2008, 09:14 AM
Lefty, I can't tell if you're serious or not. You couldn't be more wrong on both counts. A parent never has to accept the decision of a school employee. An idiot school nurse once gave my son a booster shot 2 weeks after he’d already gotten one from our doctor, and after my wife sent a signed exclusion note to the school. Accept the nurse’s decision? My wife stormed into that school and gave her a lashing that raised welts!

Idiots in public schools were the only reason we pulled our two youngest out, and home schooled them.

And, physical activity is not at all comparable to taking an exam. A sick kid can get a helluva lot worse by pushing him/herself physically.I'm not saying that you should accept a descision made by a school employee. I'm saying that if you don't want to accept a descision of a school employee, you should take steps to avoid that situation. Chad clearly knew this coach was Eva Braun in gym shorts, but he sent his sick daughter to practice anyway.
I was a substitute teacher at the highschool here for years, and couldn't believe the totalitarian attitude of MOST of the teachers. They actually went out of their way to torment certain students.They joked about it in the teacher's lounge. I quit in disgust, after filing several complaints which were ignored by the Superintendant's office. I was told that "Some students need more direction than others"....

Paul Girouard
08-15-2008, 09:18 AM
And we wonder whats wrong with American and teenagers these days:rolleyes:

Pathetic, nanny nation!

Gary E
08-15-2008, 09:19 AM
In SCHOOL already??? It's the middle of AUG???

Dont Normal schools start after labor Day??

Tylerdurden
08-15-2008, 09:29 AM
There is something to be said when your kid says "Do I have to have my dad come down here"

Worked for my kids more often than not.

Gonzalo
08-15-2008, 09:47 AM
Dont Normal schools start after labor Day? School scheduling has gotten to be a hot topic. In my county, schools were starting earlier every year until they were starting the first week in August. The legislature finally passed a law restricting how early they could open. Then the county school board retaliated with a decree putting all schools on the year-round schedule. (It had been obvious for years that year-round was their goal, regardless of what the community wanted.) A parents group raised a stink and sued. A judge found a clause in the law that restricted schools from going year-round arbitrarily, but his decision was overturned on appeal. Eventually the school board sort of backed down and set aside a few schools for the "traditional schedule."

The latest is that a parent organization in the second-largest (and wealthiest) town in the county is trying to get the town to secede from the county school system. (Town and county school systems merged years ago, so the whole county is one school system.) I don't think secession will go anywhere, but they keep trying.

Phillip Allen
08-15-2008, 09:50 AM
follow the money...

Keith Wilson
08-15-2008, 09:51 AM
The law here prohibits schools from starting before labor day.

Wow, I just realized that none of is my problem any more! There are indeed advantages to getting older!

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
08-15-2008, 09:55 AM
...
Wow, I just realized that none of is my problem any more! There are indeed advantages to getting older!

Don't Panic. - there will be a new set of problems along in a minute.

Tylerdurden
08-15-2008, 09:58 AM
The law here prohibits schools from starting before labor day.

Wow, I just realized that none of is my problem any more! There are indeed advantages to getting older!

One step closer to death, welcome to the club.

John of Phoenix
08-15-2008, 10:06 AM
Side note. This is the same coach that re-schedule practice and told my daughter that she had to come to practice instead of going to her dentist appointment.
WTF!? This person needs to be fired. Period. Go for it Chad.

Keith Wilson
08-15-2008, 10:10 AM
One step closer to death, welcome to the club.Well, I never expected to get out of here alive anyway; none of us do. It's fun while it lasts, though. http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/images/icons/icon14.gif

Gonzalo
08-15-2008, 10:14 AM
And it's more fun if you don't have to deal with the school system.

ishmael
08-15-2008, 10:19 AM
Gawd I hated secondary school PE. The "coaches" were martinets.

Get the kids out playing games not running laps in the gym. It'll do as much as jogging for their fitness, and it's fun!

To the question of the thread, I think a girl who is under the weather has every right to be excused, and that you as her father have every right to request it.

Why is this a fight? Who's in charge here?

Captain Blight
08-15-2008, 10:50 AM
I'm not saying that you should accept a descision made by a school employee. I'm saying that if you don't want to accept a descision of a school employee, you should take steps to avoid that situation. Chad clearly knew this coach was Eva Braun in gym shorts, but he sent his sick daughter to practice anyway.
I was a substitute teacher at the highschool here for years, and couldn't believe the totalitarian attitude of MOST of the teachers. They actually went out of their way to torment certain students.They joked about it in the teacher's lounge. I quit in disgust, after filing several complaints which were ignored by the Superintendant's office. I was told that "Some students need more direction than others"....After Dad retired from the Army, he went back to school for his degree and wound up teaching i the local high school. One of his brothers was a high school principal, his wife was a math teacher, their kids (my cousins) are all teachers; so even though I don't have kids of my own, I do come from a family of educators. And what I hear them talking about, at family gatherings, is how hamstrung they are by the school board and the PTA. A lot of teachers want to do better (or at least do differently) than they currently are, but can't. Mind you, they teach in schools in relatively rural areas in Wisconsin; I imagine their results might vary in inner-city Noo Yawk.

Don't get me started on No Child Left Behind.

Nanoose
08-15-2008, 11:17 AM
Chad....I applaud your decision to discuss this first with the teacher, and then (if necessary) with an administrator. That is the way to do it.

Our school (private Christian) has that policy. If a parent has a concern they go to the teacher first to try and work it out. Parents that storm in to the office to complain to an administrator are asked if they have talked to the teacher. If they say no, they are reminded the admin can't hear them until they do. It works well.

I have also learned there are situations when I need to ask someone to come join me in a parent meeting, just to be 'there' often for different reasons. Sometimes I'll ask an admin person, or one of the counsellors. It helps resolve things.

I have experienced both sides of this type of thing - as both a teacher and a parent. We had a serious situation with our son in his senior year where we were on the 'parent' side of the equation.

Always start with the teacher.

Lastly - a serious reorg of the US ed system may be helpful. I was shocked to learn, when we lived there, that schooling was locally developed/controlled. I am very appreciative of our provincial system. All schools in the province teach the same curriculum, have the same standards, etc. etc. Local school boards (e.g. the whole city) are responsible to administer the prov.gov't supplied funds to ensure curriculum is taught (e.g. make sure there's a chem lab so chem can be taught), and school based parent groups can take concerns to the school board. The board releases funds to each school, and the principal has to hire provincially qualified teachers to teach the curriculum. Every school is 'inspected' every 4-5 years to ensure curriculum is being offered/taught by qualified teachers. Accountability. It works very well.

George Roberts
08-15-2008, 03:52 PM
"my wishes better be granted or I better recieve a ..."

I expect that the coach has rules. If the kids don't want to follow the rules, the kids can always go away.

cs
08-15-2008, 04:13 PM
I called the teacher and was real nice, but very firm. I told here that if ever there is a question about anything like that again that she needs to call me and we will talk about. We worked it out without getting in fights and calling each other names.

And George if ever I had a coach or a teacher that didn't respect the wishes of the parents they would no longer be my kids coach or teacher. This isn't about following rules but rather about the wishes of the kid's parents. Completly different situation.

Chad

Nanoose
08-15-2008, 04:50 PM
Glad it worked out for you, Chad.

Mrleft8
08-15-2008, 07:01 PM
I HATE SCHOOL! I used to hate it because the teachers were morons and bullies, and made me do stupid stuff and wake up early and go to a stinky place where you couldn't think. Now I hate it because the stupid BUS drivers are either running you off the road driving like freakin' Mario Andretti, or stopping at EVERY FREAKIN' DRIVEWAY on a 6 MILE ROAD, without letting the line of 20 plus cars behind them PASS!!!! I say home school yer kids save a life.....Probably mine, because one of these days my head is gonna EXPLODE!!!

Glen Longino
08-15-2008, 09:26 PM
"my wishes better be granted or I better recieve a ..."

I expect that the coach has rules. If the kids don't want to follow the rules, the kids can always go away.

Jesus H Christ!

Phillip Allen
08-15-2008, 09:30 PM
Jesus H Christ!

he lives in a starkly black and white world...anything else would be way too complicated

brad9798
08-15-2008, 09:34 PM
Why public schools, Bill R.?

:confused:

:rolleyes: