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Nanoose
07-21-2008, 05:11 PM
Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?



Woman's Answer:One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the # &%! * light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?

Paul Pless
07-21-2008, 05:36 PM
A Bilge Classic:


How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ....
and another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.

3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

3 to tell a funny story about their beagle and a light bulb

1 group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

1 to post that this has already been posted before

1 to finally delete the thread

1 to ask the next day, what happenned to the thread...

Nanoose
07-21-2008, 05:45 PM
That's hilarious, Paul! :)

S/V Laura Ellen
07-21-2008, 06:07 PM
A Bilge Classic:


Is this information factual based on the CFL thread from last year, seems to be very close to what I remember from that thread.

John B
07-21-2008, 06:10 PM
It is hilarious ;), but it misses out the instructions on how to post photos of the lightbulb/ lamp.

Nanoose
07-21-2008, 06:10 PM
The CFL thread? :confused:....Canadian Football League? :rolleyes:.....Change the F***ing Light?....:eek: :o

S/V Laura Ellen
07-21-2008, 06:13 PM
The CFL thread? :confused:....Canadian Football League? :rolleyes:.....Change the F***ing Light?....:eek: :o


Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs


and would that now be:

1 of 7 - to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

Duncan Gibbs
07-21-2008, 06:18 PM
That is very very funny Mr Pless!

My minor contribution:

Q: Hoe mant surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fish!

Nanoose
07-21-2008, 06:40 PM
Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs


and would that now be:

1 of 7 - to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

rotflmao :D :D :D

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
07-22-2008, 03:32 AM
It only takes one person to break the glass that goes over the lightbulb but two people have to go to Home Depot to pick out a new one.

WX
07-22-2008, 06:57 AM
How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one but the light bulb has to really want to change.

How many real men does it take?
NONE! because we aren't afraid of the dark.

Popeye
07-22-2008, 07:14 AM
how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb , well , never mind , sorry i asked , i will just change it myself

Andrew Craig-Bennett
07-22-2008, 07:57 AM
Nanoose - have you met Mrs C-B?

Syed
07-22-2008, 09:26 AM
A Bilge Classic:

That's great, Paul.

Here are my two cents;

2 to link a conspiracy theory for changing the light bulbs by GWB.

1 to relate the excessive failure of light bulbs to the dictatorship in his country.

David G
07-22-2008, 09:33 AM
Nanoose - I showed that to my sweetie (age 52). For some reason, she didn't laugh, just said, "Don't get me started".:D

Nanoose
07-22-2008, 12:56 PM
hehehehehehehe :D :D :D