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Kaa
11-27-2007, 11:59 AM
Inspired by the thread about how (and whether) parents should control what their children read, I thought it'd be interesting to see how the forumites feel about a much more erm... varied area, the internet.

Phillip Allen
11-27-2007, 11:59 AM
My youngest kid is 33

Kaa
11-27-2007, 12:02 PM
My youngest kid is 33

It's not a question of what you actually did. It's a question of what you think is proper.

Kaa

Uncle Duke
11-27-2007, 12:10 PM
We no longer have kids at home, but when we did the rule was the same as for many other things: you can have everything you want when you're living on your own, self-supporting and paying for it yourself.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
11-27-2007, 12:42 PM
We no longer have kids at home, but when we did the rule was the same as for many other things: you can have everything you want when you're living on your own, self-supporting and paying for it yourself.

Now that is a very good answer!

Brian Palmer
11-27-2007, 12:57 PM
For now (the kids are 7 and 9) we have really tight settings on the content advisor in Internet Explorer. Disney.com and Nick.com is about it. We have to enter a password for them if they want to go anywhere else. WBF is strictly off limits.

--Brian

Spin_Drift
11-27-2007, 01:03 PM
In our house Cass is almost 18 and she has complete and independent access to internet.

She is a good and trustworthy person. We have never had any reason to check on her computer use...:)


Yet, it might help that she knows I can do enough "forensics" on the computer to see everything the "computer has seen", even if it has been deleted..:cool:

Kaa
11-27-2007, 01:03 PM
We no longer have kids at home, but when we did the rule was the same as for many other things: you can have everything you want when you're living on your own, self-supporting and paying for it yourself.

That bottle of formula will be one dollar and nineteen cents, please...

:D

Kaa

elf
11-27-2007, 01:04 PM
This is too complicated. They should be able to have access to anything, but it will inevitably be limited by their inputting skills and the computer spam filter. It will also make an impression only as they are able to comprehend it, so I wouldn't worry much about the porn stuff when they're very young.

Again, my job as a parent is to give them discretion according to my values of respect for others and toleration. If they watch porn and understand respecting and dignifying others I would hope that they would recognize disrespectful behavior, which most porn is. If they recognize that, they very likely won't be attracted to look at more porn, especially if they have grown up believing that sex is OK.

Spin_Drift
11-27-2007, 01:08 PM
This is too complicated. They should be able to have access to anything, but it will inevitably be limited by their inputting skills and the computer spam filter. It will also make an impression only as they are able to comprehend it, so I wouldn't worry much about the porn stuff when they're very young.

Again, my job as a parent is to give them discretion according to my values of respect for others and toleration. If they watch porn and understand respecting and dignifying others I would hope that they would recognize disrespectful behavior, which most porn is. If they recognize that, they very likely won't be attracted to look at more porn, especially if they have grown up believing that sex is OK.

Well said Emily. I like that :)

boylesboats
11-27-2007, 01:13 PM
Ya'll know it's bad for the kids to spend most of their time on computer...
Because they'll never learn the reality of life... I mean they can not survive out there in forest... They can not survive if lost in middle of wilderness...
Come on drag your kids out and take 'em snipe huntin'... They gotta learn the old way of life too...
Remember electrically wasn't invented to relies on... So turn all those breakers off and toss those cell phony out to trash...
Make them do farm chores

Bruce Hooke
11-27-2007, 01:15 PM
It seems to me as well that any policy set at home ought to acknowledge the fact that at least by the time they reach their teenage years, if a kid can't get to something on the net at home chances are good that they will find a computer somewhere else to get at what they want to get at. So, an effective approach to kids and the Internet needs to accept this fact and teach kids how to deal with what they may encounter on the net.

ishmael
11-27-2007, 01:22 PM
"It seems to me as well that any policy set at home ought to acknowledge the fact that at least by the time they reach their teenage years, if a kid can't get to something on the net at home chances are good that they will find a computer somewhere else to get at what they want to get at. So, an effective approach to kids and the Internet needs to accept this fact and teach kids how to deal with what they may encounter on the net."

That does seem correct these days. Kids are more computer savvy than most adults. A relatively inexpensive laptop and open wi-fi connections these days makes it tough to have a "crack down." That said, I think you can express your opinion as long as they are under your roof. You can't keep them from it, just like you couldn't keep kids from the Playboy hidden in the closet when we were thirteen. I think some sort of balance between discouraging it at home and accepting that it's the way of the net today is in order.

P.S. The stuff coming over cable toob can be just as weird. I don't have cable, but when I stayed in hotels for a while I saw some stuff that made my hair curl! It was nihilism pumped in as entertainment. And if you don't carry that stuff in your home, many kids are still going to find it.

"Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore."

Kaa
11-27-2007, 02:41 PM
They should be able to have access to anything, but it will inevitably be limited by their inputting skills and the computer spam filter.

What is a "computer spam filter"? Also, given the Google input box, you don't need much inputting skills to get to a LOT of places.

Kaa

elf
11-27-2007, 03:25 PM
My Mac is very good a blocking popups and does not come down with diseases. Among those it doesn't catch are the ones that attack IE and divert it to a porn site. Basically I regard that as just another spam filter.

My ISP has a pretty effective email spam filter as well, which keeps most of the obnoxious junk out of my email.

To search for something with a search engine you have to be able to do a few things - find a search engine, imagine what you want to look for, know how to spell it, know where the keys are on the keyboard.

Up to a certain age, imagining something that an adult would consider inappropriate is unlikely. Then knowing how to spell it will block the kids from finding some stuff for another year or so.

But blocking popups and malware are probably the most valuable tools after that age.

Speaking of restricting 7 and and 9 year olds, personally I think Disney is something I'd prefer my kids were not visiting. To me, just about anything connected to Disney is my idea of porn. Cultural and intellectual porn, not to mention visual porn.

Rather than censor what the kids do at the computer, distract them - get them outdoors, do jigsaw puzzles, cook with them, work with them on their school work, teach them how to use tools and work with wood and metal, take them out to learn to identify birds/trees/flowers, take them sailing, help them learn to play a musical instrument. Offer them intimacy with their families so they learn to deal with different people, teach them to look outside themselves, teach them to think. Challenge their bodies.

Forget the computer.

Kaa
11-27-2007, 03:30 PM
My Mac is very good a blocking popups and does not come down with diseases. Among those it doesn't catch are the ones that attack IE and divert it to a porn site. Basically I regard that as just another spam filter.

Oh, that. I tend to think of it as SOP on the 'net. Given Firefox with a few add-ons I actually tend to forget that the 'net has pop-ups and advertising. When I have to use somebody's else computer, the 'net looks rather strange :D


To search for something with a search engine you have to be able to do a few things - find a search engine, imagine what you want to look for, know how to spell it, know where the keys are on the keyboard.

I know a seven-year-old girl who entertains herself by putting semi-random stuff into Google Images search box... :-)

Kaa

adampet
11-27-2007, 03:44 PM
Lets see, Duncan at 17 has complete freedom of the internet. He does know that I can check up on his browsing as Administrator. I do occasionally drop hints that I've had a quick look-see. i can't control what he does via IRC, though I know most of his friends and trust them. He's very good with the computer, installing Linux varients on his personal MAC and iPod.

Amelia at 11 is just starting to cruise alot. She has a few favorite sites and they are very well moderated. All required parental permission and I have access to her passwords. We talk about net safety all the time. She gets reminders from The DARE officer at school. She knows never to give out her real name, etc. She's pretty aware that the 'net requires caution.

She was researching Ferdinand Magellan for a school project and found one site that said his financial backers were Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. She pipes up with, " I guess we can't trust what this says!"

Like anything with parenting it's about giving information as needed, reminders, checking in occasionally and trusting you've done a good job.

Adam

Joe (SoCal)
11-27-2007, 03:47 PM
I know a seven-year-old girl who entertains herself by putting semi-random stuff into Google Images search box... :-)

Kaa

My 9 year old loves to do that as well but google has a decent SafeSearch Filtering preferences

http://www.google.com/preferences?hl=en


SafeSearch Filtering

Google's SafeSearch blocks web pages containing explicit sexual content from appearing in search results.

Use strict filtering (Filter both explicit text and explicit images)
Use moderate filtering (Filter explicit images only - default behavior)
Do not filter my search results.



FWIW I voted for In my house? Uncontrolled access to the internet? Never! Most would conceder this odd given that I'm a bleeding edge technophile. But it's because I'm aware of what is possible that I would never leave my daughter alone with full access to the web. You don't have to go further than something as "safe" as our little WoodenBoat Forum community to see all it takes is one or two whacko's to find out where you live and who are people you interact with to start stalking you and sending cowardly anonymous unsolicited packages to real life people in your life.

The net can be a marvel but it can also let anyone and anything into your home. I will give her all freedom on a computer as long as the computer is centrally located and I can keep an eye on her activity. That includes passwords and email accounts.

adampet
11-27-2007, 03:59 PM
Joe does bring up a point that's so ingrained in me that I hadn't thought about until he mentioned it. All the computers in the house are in public rooms. As is the TV. I cringe when parents let their 5 year old have a TV in their room. I'd no more let my child watch TV unsupervised than I'd let them play with matches. Same goes for the internet.

Adam

StevenBauer
11-27-2007, 04:14 PM
You don't let your kids pay with matches? What a meanie! :D


Steven

Kaa
11-27-2007, 04:33 PM
I would never leave my daughter alone with full access to the web.


All the computers in the house are in public rooms. ... I'd no more let my child watch TV unsupervised than I'd let them play with matches. Same goes for the internet.

Interesting. At which age would you grant some privacy to your child?

Kaa

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
11-27-2007, 04:55 PM
Everybody is quietly skirting round the real question;
How does anyone else access the net without the teenager to solve the technical problems?

Phillip Allen
11-27-2007, 05:00 PM
Folks, I don't want unlimited access from my computer simply because there are many viruses and other problem for the indiscriminate user...

No one gets unlimited access…not even me.

paladin
11-27-2007, 07:19 PM
My grandcritters don't need matches.....they are scaouting and one of the first tricks was to teach them to start a fire without matches.
But recent studies have shown that kids who stay indoors and play with video games and computers/watch TV have come down with rickets. There's not enough vitamin D in milk and the kids don't get out enough in the sunlight. My grandkids spend time swimming and playing sports. They do not have unlimited access to a computer, and have restrictions on how much they can play with video games. * year old Erin likes to throw fits when she doesn't get her way, but the two boys will wrestle and play ball and other outdoor sports, and I've got 5 year olf Mikey starting slowly with Kendo, because he's a Darth Vader fan.....

elf
11-27-2007, 08:31 PM
Everybody is quietly skirting round the real question;
How does anyone else access the net without the teenager to solve the technical problems?

Get a Mac.

Kaa
11-28-2007, 01:15 PM
Folks, I don't want unlimited access from my computer simply because there are many viruses and other problem for the indiscriminate user...

Well, we're not talking about trolling red-light neighbourhoods with an Internet Explorer on an unpatched Windows machine :D

The "unlimited" part is about content, not malware.

Kaa