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paladin
09-23-2007, 02:29 AM
Pregnancy Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor,
but pressure; is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. : Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're calling on every driver with a "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
sticker on their work truck.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You' r e not as nice as you used to be and you used to be a bitch
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

LeeG
09-23-2007, 07:35 AM
a pregnant woman generates as many hormones during 9mo of pregnancy as a non-pregnat woman would for 150yrs of fertility.
At least that's what the midwife said.
Just doing what I'm told.

Mrleft8
09-23-2007, 09:25 AM
It's all estrogenetics...

oakman
09-23-2007, 10:51 AM
My wife is 6 months pregnant and I was just informed that we are having a batting cage at our baby shower!

Don't know what I did to deserve this but I'll take it!

Mrleft8
09-24-2007, 09:02 AM
My wife is 6 months pregnant and I was just informed that we are having a batting cage at our baby shower!

Don't know what I did to deserve this but I'll take it! The bad part is:.....You're the ball...... :D