View Full Version : Joe VS. Oyster. Oyster draws first blood!

07-01-2007, 02:54 PM
It's TRUE! Someone (Phil maybe) has pictures...It was gruesome!! there must have been at least 3 drops of blood lost! A gash so big on Joe's hand that it took a half a roll of duct tape just to keep it from gushing all over the place. Joe was in such excruciating pain that it was finally decided that he needed a muzzle.....

Paul Girouard
07-01-2007, 03:13 PM

Must be those tender girl like real estate agents hands :D

Gloves Joe , gotta git some gloves ;)

07-01-2007, 03:14 PM
From the Mystic photo thread


07-01-2007, 06:44 PM
I'm looking quite..... er.....Fat...... I need to go on a diet......

The Bigfella
07-01-2007, 06:49 PM
Strewth - how can a guy get to that age and not know how to open an oyster?

Joe (SoCal)
07-01-2007, 06:54 PM
Strewth - how can a guy get to that age and not know how to open an oyster?

I had opened about a dozen before one of them decided to bite back ;)

I was holding it in my left palm and as I put the knife in the wet shell slipped and just slit the webbing between my thumb and index finger. Afterwards Lefty showed me his oyster scars as did about 5 other forum members, so I feel a part of the club. Even this morning at the show Adament showed me his scar.

The only regret I have is I didn't eat the oyster that cut me. :D

07-01-2007, 07:00 PM
Did you enjoy your wake up call Sticky boy? :D

Joe (SoCal)
07-01-2007, 07:01 PM
Did you enjoy your wake up call Sticky boy? :D

Can't hear what did ya say ? ;)

Wild Dingo
07-01-2007, 07:45 PM
Not wantin to embarrass our New York mucho mucho man any further I just have to say that Id heard a rumor that he cried like a little girl too :eek: ... but that was just a rumor eh? :D

And yeah yer gettin FAT Dougy!! fattyboombah!! :D Hey mate one of us has just gotta change you know... had this wee yarn with her highness a few ticks ago...

Im lookin through the post when the missus came an looked over my shoulder she took one look at that pic and screamed "AAAHHHHHHHH Dont tell me theres two of you!!!"

"Eh? thats Dougy an Joeboy"

"Gawd thank buggary for that then"

"What do you mean "two of you?" darls"

"well that bloke without the lippy on he looks like you"


"No seriously... see the mad manic noggin full of curls? just like your mad manic noggin full of locks!! and he wears glasses too! Just like you! Hes tubby an scruffy an lives out the back of nowhere just like you and I bet hes as mad as a cut snake just like you too"

"Well... ummm... hadnt noticed that before darls"

"yeah well he does... whats his missus's name?"

"That'd be Carter poss"

"Carter the one that works for Virgin?"

"Yeah thats the one"

"Gawd she deserves a medal... no make that 2 medals and tell her Im sorry you couldnt take her up on the flight thing... but she must be a saint you know?"

"Yeah I'll tell her... what do you mean she must be a saint?"

"Well people always reckon I have to be a saint puttin up with you all these years I reckon she'd have to be a saint to put up with him if hes anythin like I think he would be... totally troppo!!"

"Oh right a saint right your a bloody saint yeah uhuh alright lets go with that then"

"mmm poor buggar"


"No I was talking about the poor muscle bound bloke"

"Joeboy?? Hes a friggin real estate agent darls nothin to be sayin poor buggar about him!! Strewth more money than a cat has pisses ol Joeboy"

"OH!! JOE! You mean the young bloke with Tess? IS THAT HIM?? good greif! hes so young!!... ahem no I mean the makeup the other blokes puttin on him poor fella dont they know thats gonna hurt when he rips it off... poor buggar"

"Nah dont worry about Joeboy hes more of a bloody galah than Dougy is anyday an he needed a shave so dont worry about him" :D

She was a tad peeved with the photos of the group setting offered up without names... So after naming those I could make out I just said "well wait a bit darls an someone will name em for yer" :cool:

But yeah I heard a rumor you sookylalaed all weekend Joe cant be right eh? ;)

07-01-2007, 08:20 PM

I think the two of you are enjoying this way too much.

07-01-2007, 10:40 PM
Hey Dingo, I'll challenge you to an oyster opening contest, I used to do it for a paycheck. They are nasty. Don't criticize Joe unless you been there.

Wild Dingo
07-01-2007, 10:52 PM
Hey Pat!! :p

Twere a rumor mate some noddy told me the whisper that he turned into a sookylala so I couldnt resist ;)

Ahem... its an Aussie tradition takin the phiss outta yous mob along with poms an kiwis so Im just actin natural ol son :cool:

And yes I know oysters can be friggin mongrels... but then so can many things... never done it for a living only for the eatin :D

07-02-2007, 07:12 AM
You ate what??

Keith Wilson
07-02-2007, 10:24 AM
I prefer my oysters fried
Then I'm sure my oysters died.

Roy Blount Jr.


07-02-2007, 02:58 PM
An idea borrowed from the knights of old - chain mail is the only way to shuck oysters. Years ago when I was a waiter in a seafood restaurant the cooks were not allowed near an oyster without them:


Keith Wilson
07-02-2007, 03:20 PM
You can get gloves with Kevlar thread now; same idea but lighter and not so cold.

07-02-2007, 03:24 PM
"more money than a cat has pisses"

That one's going in the book. :D

Michael s/v Sannyasin
07-03-2007, 11:04 AM
Oyster or Erster?

07-03-2007, 11:12 AM
I thought you meant Joe vs. "Erster." Now that would have been interesting.