Tar Devil
05-04-2007, 10:42 PM
It really doesn't seem like a long time ago, but the math is there. Over thirty years. It's a short pony ride, folks.
Anyway, a goodly portion of the Young Americans Water Ski Show membership was gathered around a generous fire beside the boat ramp, telling stories... mostly scarey ones. There had already been a variety of short scream bursts, enough to bring a couple of parents out to check on us. Then the conversations drifted to urban legends of strange but reputedly true sightings. While most of that was going on, I pulled Charles-Ray aside and apprised him of a plan - I would walk to the other side of the campground peninsula, get in the water and swim around to the campfire whereupon I would quietly approach shore before erupting underwater in a salvo of blood curdling screams.
"Good plan," he said.
"Tell no one!" I ordered. He agreed.
I slipped away, as the kids often did to attend to calls of nature or hit the vending machines at the restaurant. Glancing behind I saw that no one noticed my departure. Good.
I slipped in the water, waded out and started swimming, something I did well and often. It took me a little more than the estimated 15 minutes to round the campground, and when I got there the party was starting to break up. Hurry.
Someone noticed me. Anxiously, "What is that!??" I was trying to stay low, eyes and nose only out of the water, but I could see that Monica was pointing in my direction. Oh well, the "surprise tactic" of noisely popping out of the lake was no longer an option so I began my act far offshore.
I took a deep breath, sank just below the surface and screamed a mighty and fearsome scream. When I surfaced the chaos was as I had hoped... rampant and loud. Also as I had hoped, the parents had acclimated to such noise punctuating the night and stayed in their trailers.
Angie and Bonita's trailer was at the point and that seemed to be where all were heading so I swam out a ways and towards their dock. Took only about 5 minutes and when I got there the pointing/screaming/panic was there as well. I began swiming toward the dock, where I would either end the charade in a spectacular climax or just climb out on their dock.
Now Charles-Ray, against my wishes, was filling in some of the Young Americans... all except his girlfriend Bonita and her sister Angie since they were particularly distraught. As I approached the dock I heard the rest of the girls yell that the "creature was gone, it was safe to come out," etc.
The timing was perfect. I got under the dock as the two platinum blondes opened the door. Deep breath, under water, "ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!"
I surfaced in time to hear the trailer door slam shut, the other Americans howling with laughter- all except Robin who also was screaming, but this time at me...
"Angie's got a gun!!"
If a man can vault off the lake bottom, clear a 3 foot high dock and land on his feet, I did it. I really don't remember for sure, but I smoked out of that water.
And sure enough, a well trained Angie was standing at the railing, both hands wrapped around her daddy's .25 caliber automatic. It was, I'm thankful to say, pointed down.
She looked at me. That look. Not a scared look. I mean, I was scared... not of the gun either. Of what would happen when her dad drove the tow boat for me during tomorrow's practice.
Anyway, a goodly portion of the Young Americans Water Ski Show membership was gathered around a generous fire beside the boat ramp, telling stories... mostly scarey ones. There had already been a variety of short scream bursts, enough to bring a couple of parents out to check on us. Then the conversations drifted to urban legends of strange but reputedly true sightings. While most of that was going on, I pulled Charles-Ray aside and apprised him of a plan - I would walk to the other side of the campground peninsula, get in the water and swim around to the campfire whereupon I would quietly approach shore before erupting underwater in a salvo of blood curdling screams.
"Good plan," he said.
"Tell no one!" I ordered. He agreed.
I slipped away, as the kids often did to attend to calls of nature or hit the vending machines at the restaurant. Glancing behind I saw that no one noticed my departure. Good.
I slipped in the water, waded out and started swimming, something I did well and often. It took me a little more than the estimated 15 minutes to round the campground, and when I got there the party was starting to break up. Hurry.
Someone noticed me. Anxiously, "What is that!??" I was trying to stay low, eyes and nose only out of the water, but I could see that Monica was pointing in my direction. Oh well, the "surprise tactic" of noisely popping out of the lake was no longer an option so I began my act far offshore.
I took a deep breath, sank just below the surface and screamed a mighty and fearsome scream. When I surfaced the chaos was as I had hoped... rampant and loud. Also as I had hoped, the parents had acclimated to such noise punctuating the night and stayed in their trailers.
Angie and Bonita's trailer was at the point and that seemed to be where all were heading so I swam out a ways and towards their dock. Took only about 5 minutes and when I got there the pointing/screaming/panic was there as well. I began swiming toward the dock, where I would either end the charade in a spectacular climax or just climb out on their dock.
Now Charles-Ray, against my wishes, was filling in some of the Young Americans... all except his girlfriend Bonita and her sister Angie since they were particularly distraught. As I approached the dock I heard the rest of the girls yell that the "creature was gone, it was safe to come out," etc.
The timing was perfect. I got under the dock as the two platinum blondes opened the door. Deep breath, under water, "ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!"
I surfaced in time to hear the trailer door slam shut, the other Americans howling with laughter- all except Robin who also was screaming, but this time at me...
"Angie's got a gun!!"
If a man can vault off the lake bottom, clear a 3 foot high dock and land on his feet, I did it. I really don't remember for sure, but I smoked out of that water.
And sure enough, a well trained Angie was standing at the railing, both hands wrapped around her daddy's .25 caliber automatic. It was, I'm thankful to say, pointed down.
She looked at me. That look. Not a scared look. I mean, I was scared... not of the gun either. Of what would happen when her dad drove the tow boat for me during tomorrow's practice.