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Nicholas Carey
04-24-2007, 04:59 PM
So last night...after we finally got the little hoon/monster/buglet/bundle o' joy put to sleep (it took a while)...we wuz watching CSI:Miami -- arguably the worst show on television, albeit one of the most popular shows on television. The writing sucks and the lead actor, David Caruso is one of the worst actors I have ever seen, but that's another discussion.

Anyway, the opening credits roll and the show gets underway, appropriately titled "Just Murdered (http://www.cbs.com/primetime/csi_miami/episodes/521/)"...

And in the first 10 minutes, a feuding couple is going at their classic, wooden, clipper-bowed yawl...with a chainsaw :eek: and a shotgun :eek::eek: Here's the lede of the synopsis:
The peace and tranquility of Miami's harbor, where the rich and successful keep their toys, is rudely shattered by the scream of an electrical tool. Hank and Lorie Atherton are dividing their assets as they go through a particularly bad divorce. The asset in question: the couple's prize yacht. Mrs. Atherton is splitting it evenly in two-with a chainsaw.

Not to be out done in any way, Mr. Atherton takes his shotgun and attempts to outdo his wife in her effort to sink the boat by shooting through the hull. Horatio and his team arrive on the scene, responding to a neighbor's emergency call, and are guided to the fray by Paul, the Atherton's pool guy. As the main mast hits the water, a voice grabs the attention of the Athertons. Horatio and Frank tell everyone to freeze ... What really hurt :( was watching them cut down the mizzen with the chainsaw.

JimD
04-24-2007, 05:19 PM
Caruso isn't such a bad actor. He just gets paid a lot to act that way and having seen his career hit the skids once before he now prefers a fat pay cheque over critical acclaim. Yes, it is a really awful show. I occassionally watch the reruns late at night when the insomnia is getting the better of me. Shame about the boat, too.

S/V Laura Ellen
04-24-2007, 05:39 PM
Caruso was head of the class at the "William Shatner School of Overacting". Have you notices that he poses for just about every shot he is in so that he appears to be at 45 degrees to the camera and looking over his shoulder. Then he either puts on or removes his sun glasses. Someone must have been under the mistaken impression that it made him look cool.

The fact that Caruso was cast in "tough guy with a soft side" role is laughable.

In case you are having problems understanding my opinion of the show, the scripts are bad, Caruso is bad, and the show is worse that the sum of its parts.

Nicholas Carey
04-24-2007, 05:42 PM
My problem with his acting is that he's flat -- he's got one note, one emotion.

And did i mention the [lack of] lighting design? Evidently, all the light in Miami, indoors or out, is orange. :p

Emily Proctor is great, though.

Nanoose
04-24-2007, 05:49 PM
The boat was a replica - made entirely of styrofoam. :rolleyes:

Special affects people do amazing things, don't they ;)

JimD
04-24-2007, 05:51 PM
Have you notices that he poses for just about every shot he is in so that he appears to be at 45 degrees to the camera and looking over his shoulder. Then he either puts on or removes his sun glasses. Someone must have been under the mistaken impression that it made him look cool.
.

Of course its awful. And he knows it. There is no mistaken impression. Audiences eat it up. That's why he makes money hand over fist for doing it. Similarly, there are constant cleavage shots of the females on the show and on most of the other shows that do well. It doesn't necessarily make them bad actors. It just means they are accepting huge amounts of money to act cheesy. I would, too. You wouldn't?

Nanoose
04-24-2007, 05:55 PM
Only if accepting huge amounts of money to act cheesy made me happy.

High C
04-24-2007, 06:08 PM
...cleavage shots...they are accepting huge amounts of money to act cheesy. I would, too...

Pics man, pics! :D

JimD
04-24-2007, 06:24 PM
Special affects people do amazing things, don't they ;)

Ya mean all the dead people aren't really dead? What a rip, man. I want my money back.

JimD
04-24-2007, 06:25 PM
Pics man, pics! :D

First the huge amounts of money. Then the pics.

JimD
04-24-2007, 06:28 PM
. I think it was a conscious decision on the part of the producers and I think they've done it successfully...the producers of CSI Miami know exactly what aesthetic they are recreating

Absolutely.

JimD
04-24-2007, 06:34 PM
Emily Proctor is great, though.

Here she fondles her own breasts with her own fake hair

http://image.wetpaint.com/image/1/k8lTA-7_GXy-laDo6v7KVA21619/GW150H190













Now this is more like it

http://www.go4celebrity.com/wallpapers/Emily-Procter/go4-Emily-Procter-033.jpg

And this is very creative, too. With just a hint of mascara

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/251457~Emily-Procter-Posters.jpg

ishmael
04-24-2007, 06:59 PM
I catch that show, or parts of it, ocassionaly. Caruso does what he does, which is a fair imitation of Bogart circa 1937. Tough, manly, in charge. That's all he does. He's a personality, not an actor.

When ya get down to it, and look at acting, that's what almost all actors do these days. Honestly, Bogart didn't do much different.

Some I watch on film have range. I think of Zellweger, or Kate Winslet, or Johnny Depp. But the way film is written and directed these days doesn't demand any real work or depth. The actors are contained in a plastic bubble of set performance. Be who we had you be yesterday!

I had occasion to visit the set of a 70's police drama, Police Woman. Angie Dickenson, Earl Hollaman. It was a fun day. How many of ya have had lunch with Angie Dickenson, or played football with Earl Hollaman? But it opened my eyes to just how phoney the schtick is.

JimD
04-24-2007, 07:23 PM
...When ya get down to it, and look at acting, that's what almost all actors do these days. Honestly, Bogart didn't do much different...

Yup. Most of Hollywood's most beloved and successful actors just played the same role over and over again.

botebum
04-24-2007, 07:31 PM
David Caruso sucks! I have always hated his attempts at acting. He just plain sucks!
On the other hand...I watch the show every week...the wimmens, ohhh the wimmmens:D
.....Whatever! They're my priorities! Let me deal with them!

Doug

Concordia...41
04-24-2007, 08:15 PM
Here she fondles her own breasts with her own fake hair

Her hair is fake????!!!! :eek: :rolleyes: :eek:

Oh, the horror!!!! :eek: :rolleyes: :eek:

My ideals are shattered....whatever shall I do..... :confused:

Seriously, if you think CSI Miami is bad, catch a Miami Vice rerun. :p Now that's bad acting at its finest.

You gotta wonder though how shows like Charlie's Angels, Miami Vice, Gunsmoke, Bonanza, etc. all once held our attention, but is now are too cheesy to watch. :(

Bob (oh, THAT Bob)
04-24-2007, 08:37 PM
Emily Proctor was excellent and occasionally hilarious (due to the writing) on West Wing.

Miami Vice was very intentionally artsy, intentionally biased toward style and not grit. Don Johnson's acting wasn't as bad as his partner's dialog, and his expressionless boss, too busy being cool for any emotion.

Very few realistic cop shows, one was Homicide, but that was covered in an earlier thread regarding great TV shows.