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Memphis Mike
03-31-2007, 07:53 AM
I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

/ D - / G - / D - A - / 1st, 2nd / D A D - /

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid He'll have to go
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar

/ D - - - / - - A - / D - / G - / D A D - /

Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind
Trouble coming He don't see
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night
And policemen think I'm tight
They never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

Noah
03-31-2007, 08:01 AM
The first song I ever learned on my Dad's old Dobro. Good stuff!

paladin
03-31-2007, 08:30 AM
that's a Jen-U-Wine Plastic Jesus........

Yes, Folks, Just send eight dollars and ninety five cents and 6 first class stamps to "Pin".....Box 25, Del Rio Taxas......and by return mail we will send you a genuine diamon pin.......the pack comes in with one stamp on the envelope and inside is a dime and pin........:D

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
03-31-2007, 08:34 AM
When I'm goin' fornicatin'
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my ...
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my ...
Leering from the dashboard of my van.

Tylerdurden
03-31-2007, 08:41 AM
Halo, Porcupine Tree

God is in my fingers God is in my head
God is in the trigger God is in the lead

God is freedom, God is trust
God is power and God is proof
God is fashion, God is fame
God gives meaning, God gives pain

You can be right like me
With God in the hole you're a righteous soul
I got a halo round me, I got a halo round me
I'm not the same as you
Cos I've seen the light and I'm gaining in height now
I got a halo round me, I got a halo round me
I got a halo round my head

God is on the cellphone God is on the net
God is in the warning God is in the threat

Tristan
03-31-2007, 10:22 AM
My mother's a boarding house keeper
My father makes synthetic gin
My sister hangs out her red lantern
My God how the money rolls in
Rolls in
Rolls in
My God how the money rolls in

coelacanth2
04-01-2007, 09:51 AM
My brother is a missionary
He's sa-aaaaving young girls from sin
for five dollars he will save one for you
Oh my, how the money rolls in...

coelacanth2
04-01-2007, 09:53 AM
My auntie, she knits prophylactics
and punctures each head with a pin
my uncle he performs the abortions
Oh my, how the money rolls in...

Dan McCosh
04-01-2007, 10:43 AM
Wierd. This song came up at a party last night. The verse that sticks in my mind:

"I ain't gonna slip and slide, cause his ass is magnetized...."

coelacanth2
04-01-2007, 09:32 PM
My Godfather's the head of the Mafia
myGodmother does rubouts for hie
between them they own the East Coast
my word how the money rolls in...

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
04-01-2007, 10:09 PM
Call The Doctor
by J J Cale


Somebody call for the doctor, I think Im sick
Aint had my medicine in over a week
My minds fine but my body feels weak
Call the doctor, I think Im sick
A shady lady took all my bread
Ravished my body, lord, and messed with my head
I dont know but Ive had my fill
Call the doctor and tell him Im ill
My moneys gone and Ive got no place to go
I dont believe Ive ever felt so low
If youve got the time while you hang around
Call the doctor and tell him Im down

skuthorp
04-01-2007, 11:25 PM
I am minded of the old song "The Harlot of Jerusalem" to which my father sang me to sleep as an infant and which I proudly began to sing at an early pre-school show and tell.
And in Italy some years ago a plastic Jesus on the back shelf of a car, the heart and eyes lit up with the brake lights. I nearly drove off the road I laughed so much!

huisjen
04-02-2007, 07:30 AM
http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/song-midis/Harlot_of_Jerusalem_(3).htm

Hmmm. Pre-school, huh?

Dan

skuthorp
04-03-2007, 02:32 AM
Yes, my dad was in the navy at the time. It has been a story told with much hillarity in my family for years. I don't really remember it but I bet it caused a stir at the time!