WB Personae

[ishmael]

Cleek's thread about cleaning up our act got me thinking. I've taken a fair amount of undeserved abuse around here, but I've got to wondering how much of is just the web culture, and how much of it is my not expressing myself well.

I try to express my full range of thoughts about topics in part because I've been trying to learn how to use the language, in part because I thought that's what this space was about, but with the way of this form of communication is that a good idea? It creates a largely vaporous image of people, It's ephemera. The poor man's publisher; a place to meet and tell what we know about boats; a place to give our shadow voice; a cyber-couch with a cyber-analyst seated next to it; a place to solve the problems of the world. This place SEEMS a lot of things, but it's not the real people behind the keyboards.

In anycase, I'll be a little less out there from now on. When I've offended, I've tried to make it right. I don't like offending people. It was never(well, very rarely) my intent to insult, or offend. As Geeman said on Cleek's thread, not quite as directly, think about it like you might get punched in the nose. There are a few noses here I'd like to punch.

What am I trying to say, in way too many words? I like this place. It's been my cyber-home for six years. As the new year is upon us let's all try to follow Cleek's advice and "clean up our act." But let's not lose the freedom to express our thoughts because of petty, schoolyard threats. Delicate balance, eh? But very human.

Be kind. It usually doesn't cost ya anything, and when it does the tally is in the plus column at the end.

I had a dear friend, Karen Young. A very bright woman. Partway through an MD, after deciding she didn't have the talent for a career as a classical pianist, she came down with a devastating mental illness now known as bi-polar disorder. She was in her twenties, and struggled with that illness for the rest of her life. One night, alone in a house she'd once shared with a husband who finally couldn't cope anymore, she took her life. It's one of the few large regrets of my life that I didn't put out a little more effort to be kind. I hadn't rejected her--as many had because her illness was difficult to be around--but I didn't call her enough, didn't visit enough.

Be kind, people. Work through whatever issues are keeping you from it, and be kind.

[S.V. Airlie]

No comment....except. Live for today.. not for yesteryears...Do today and don't relive, vicariously what you did or might have done years ago..
I've said enough.. Ish you are trolling again... I had enough yesterday...

[LeeG]

be kind to yourself Jack.

When you get repeated comments that say you are in self-destructive cycles then consider that what you call "undeserved abuse" is you abusing a forum not designed for self-exploration or mutual navel gazing.


You get the feedback you seek. Don't like it? Don't abuse yourself by turning your "feelings" into fodder for purple prose.

Kindness doesn't change the addict.

[Milo Christensen]

...Be kind, people. Work through whatever issues are keeping you from it, and be kind.

Many of us who try desperately and in vain to get through to you that you're the one with the freakin' issues have already worked through our issues and know whereof we speak when we speak. You seem to lack the capacity to hear what's being said.

Of course, one of my issues is that you remind me of my father, living alone, drinking to the point of brain damage, separated from society, afraid, possibly unable, to re-enter the world of human interaction, speaking about getting a woman, reminiscing about dead dogs, completely self-absorbed.

Be kind to us and get the help you so desperately need.

[huisjen]

Aye.

[Mrleft8]

Turning Canadian eh? Now you want us to view you as a person eh? ;)

[jack grebe]

Jack, I have said it before and I'll say it again.

put down the mouse
back away from the computer
grab your coat.........


it's a big world out there
BE A PART OF IT:cool:

[High C]

...it's a big world out there...

And you picked a spot that's below sea level? :p ;)

[ishmael]

Have it your ways.

Look, I've got problems right now. Who doesn't? I haven't been shy about them and I don't think they're particularly unusual. They ain't what people have construed, but I'm coming around to a few realisations. "Reclusive writer" isn't working. Tried it for five years, not working. I need to find another shrink to work through some stuff that's unresolved. I need community again(it's one of the reasons I write here, though it's turned rather sour.) AA would probably be a good place to try again.

What I don't understand very well is the mean spirit. I've written what I wrote in good faith, not as a troll, except occasionally in fun.

I genuinely wish all of you well.

[jack grebe]

And you picked a spot that's below sea level? :p ;)

LOL

[S.V. Airlie]

Ish.. get this.. Some are are just getting exaspirated.....I hope you understand that.. It is not a matter of trying to be cruel.. It is because we are tired....especially when we read threads where there appears to be some hope that you are doing better.. Request for passport info.a triup to see your brother in Ireland.. etc. and than having our hopes dashed and thrown along the roadside.
Can you understand that....
I for one wish you the best.. but I also get.. very discouraged... Take it for what you will. File it, read it, do what ya want. I have nothing against ya. You are a smart man who seems to be following a very rough path....

I don't want this to turn into a repeat of yesterday.. so.. I'm outta here...

[LeeG]

Have it your ways.

Look, I've got problems right now. Who doesn't? I haven't been shy about them and I don't think they're particularly unusual. They ain't what people have construed, but I'm coming around to a few realisations. "Reclusive writer" isn't working. Tried it for five years, not working. I need to find another shrink to work through some stuff that's unresolved. I need community again(it's one of the reasons I write here, though it's turned rather sour.) AA would probably be a good place to try again.

What I don't understand very well is the mean spirit. I've written what I wrote in good faith, not as a troll, except occasionally in fun.

I genuinely wish all of you well.

Your problems aren't unusual. There are people you have walked on the path you are on. They may not be on this board but the path you are on wasn't invented by you although there are other paths.

Meeting needs for community through an internet forum is like trying to control drinking by switching drinks.

You don't understand because you are inside of the problem. You can not talk yourself out of fundamental needs.

If you need community then therapy won't do it. AA won't do it.

If you need to get sober there are many ways, not just AA.

Tying the two together is a good excuse for inaction. If you don't like the AA community (I sure didn't) then you have a reason to not get sober.

If you can't get sober then you don't need the community.
If you don't need community then turn off the computer.

problem solved.

So seperate the two, find community, and try any method for getting sober. Some find therapy works. But therapy isn't community.

you might be a more functional hermit sober (you'll remember what you last told yourself). You might be a more functional drinker with social ties/committments (I doubt it).

You, and "us" are beyond kind words or good intentions. They really are irrelevant to the issues you raised.

[brad9798]

Change doesn't just happen ... one must first WANT to change ... then one must WORK to change.

Change can be complicated by many distractions ... including expectations, self-confidence, being in a rut, bad habits, etc.

Folks who want to change have a pretty decent success rate.

Folks who talk about/go through the motions to satisfy others are simply doing themselves and others a disservice.

In all seriousness, Ish, how much/often do you drink? How does it affect your life, more importantly.

There are plenty of drunks on this forum ... and plenty with some good sobriety behind them!

Many of us would help, I gather.

Brad

[ishmael]

One of my favorite memories of Karen, told it before, was one time she was in her manic phase. One of the incredible things about this illness is that when people are in the manic they are incredibly honest. I mean persona just sorta melts, and they spit it out.

We were in a vid store, thinking about a vid for a snowy winter afternoon, when an acquaintence, who's name I don't think I ever knew, came up to me and said she really appreciated the poem I'd read(broadcast on local TV.)

Anyway, you'd have thought the fox was in the henhouse. Suddenly all of the unspoken sexual interest of Karen's was front and center. ANGRY! "How dare you speak to my man that way, you whore! Completely out of line. Not real serious, but serious enough. She was gaming out of her mania, but serious enough that it took a bit of wrangling to smooth feathers. We got out of there without being arrested, but it was a close thing. Wild mind, unleashed.

Brad, may I have your number by PM?

[S.V. Airlie]

Yes! Yes.. talk to Brad....

[LeeG]

Jack, you've told that story before.

[geeman]

Jack, I like you,at the risk of making a blanket statement for the other guys here , I think most of them like you too.Consider that for a minute.
Because most folks here Do like you is part of the reason they/we get so frustrated with you sometimes.
If I have spoken out of turn here answering for other people ,please disregard.

[S.V. Airlie]

That about sums it up.. geeman...

[Dryer lint]

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:QJ7hv55uJ-QbqM:http://www.ibegformoney.com/images/trolling.jpgdid you happen to author this?
:)

[S.V. Airlie]

Not even amusing.. but to you, cute lint.. what do ya do for an encore?

[Bob Cleek]

Hello, my name is Bob and I am a netaholic...

Sometimes we need to just get out of ourselves and live live as it comes. Turn off the 'puter and see how long you can go without turning it back on again... The internet, while a tremendous information resource, is really self defeating. Nothing, absolutely nothing, invented by the mind of man (with the possible exception of alcohol) has wasted so much time...

[Memphis Mike]

Jack, what I want to see is a post from you on here where you attended your first meeting. Or your first meeting back.

Unless you stop, none of the rest of it makes any difference.

[glenallen]

Good luck, Jack.
It can be really exciting and rewarding changing lifestyles.
Don't worry about us so much. Take care of yourself.

[Dryer lint]

Nothing, absolutely nothing, invented by the mind of man (with the possible exception of alcohol) has wasted so much time...


silicone implants :)

[huisjen]

I haven't been offended.
I've been appalled.

Dan

[Chris Coose]

Look, I've got problems right now.

Don't make it complicated.
You've got one problem.
You'd be surprised how all the rest go away if you do something about it and most importantly, pay attention to the conditions that remission requires.

You don't need a shrink. Your honest self diagnosis is key.
Don't complicate it.

[geeman]

A shrink is like drinking,
Both will take your money, and you WILL STILL have the same problems,,,,,
There is a world out there, at least right now there is.
Better take advantage of it while we still have it.

[S.V. Airlie]

an hour with a shrink is more expensive than a bottle of single malt scotch... and a bottle of single malt lasts me about a year.

[Dryer lint]

ignoramus non carborundum

[geeman]

Dryer is referring to which post?

[Tristan]

It is fascinating to me that so many WBF'ers think they know what is right and what is wrong for Jack. "Let's tell Jack what to write, how to live, etc. etc." Truly amazing.

[glenallen]

It is fascinating to me that so many WBF'ers think they know what is right and what is wrong for Jack. "Let's tell Jack what to write, how to live, etc. etc." Truly amazing.

He asked!
I'd stay away from the shrink.
No point in making him nuts too.

[S.V. Airlie]

tristan.. yesterday someone wrote that I had gone too far on an issue. I looked at what he wrote... and said to myself.. yup.. I have gone overboard. Did not realize how much because I was blind. He was right... He told me I was wrong... I listened and believed and took action....
Perhaps, just maybe.. Jack doesn't see. So I would call the posts suggestions.. not orders....
Sometimes it is difficult to see oneself except through the eyes of others.