PDA

View Full Version : How did you grow up,happy?



geeman
12-27-2006, 08:57 AM
I grew up in the country,shoeless in summer usually wearing only shorts.I played outside in the woods a good bit most of the time,with my dog at my side every where I went.My mom expected my dog to stay with me as my protector,and the dog seemed happy to do so.I recall it as a very happy childhood ,I had everything I needed but few things I wanted.But I didnt want much as I didnt know at the time that I didnt have much.It wasnt until later when we moved to the city that I realized I was considered "deprived".
As I get older I miss the way I was raised in those early years,the very simple life I lived. And I want it back.It seems I still cling to a bit of that life now days .At home my dog is with me no matter where I am in the house or outside, that dog must be by my side,for my sake as much as his I think.

S.V. Airlie
12-27-2006, 09:01 AM
geeman.. Ditto.. one old TV.. one channel.rarely watched and not during the summer, .no video games, few toys except an old Turnabout to sail and race, barefoot in the woods, yes, uumm bond fires at picnic rock... Lots to do, places to explore. Never bored ( I hate that word ).
About the same it seems.

ishmael
12-27-2006, 09:10 AM
Very happy until puberty. The fields, the woods and streams and lakes. Bugs, books, football, good friends, first loves, trees to climb, knees to scrape, a very happy time. I'm thankful for that time. It prepared me for parents who really lost it. Pretty ugly there for a few years.

So it goes. I've forgiven them, and moved on--mostly. Both dead now. God rest their souls.

P.S. Just to be clear, both my parents were decent, honest folks. They were just so different from each other, and it came into focus when I was about twelve. Too much booze, too.

geeman
12-27-2006, 09:11 AM
You mentioned TV.We had one that was a handmedown.You had to change the channels with a fork.My favorite tv show was of course, Lassie.
This thread has made me miss my mom.It was mom that taught me how to throw a ball and swing a bat.She taught me how to throw a punch too when I came home beat up one time.Instead of whinning and crying because her son got beat up she yanked me out in the yard and taught me how to defend myself.Dad was/is the quiet type that was big and very gentle,he didnt have to be loud but could get his point across and make you feel small by his manner.Dad wasnt home much he was always busy making a living, mom filled in just fine I think.

JimD
12-27-2006, 09:12 AM
A few happy memories but generally speaking childhood sucks.

S.V. Airlie
12-27-2006, 09:13 AM
My mom taught me to live my life, my father taught me how to do it.
Miss them too .....

geeman
12-27-2006, 09:19 AM
My dad,in recent years has taught me that life is to be lived,not to sit around WAITING FOR LIFE TO HAPPEN.When mom died a few years back we didnt think dad would survive it.He did sit around and hid in the house for almost a year.But then shook it off , got back out in the world and is living life as best he can for however long he is here.He's a fine man .No education but is highly respected by everyone he knows.Any man he meets calls him "MR" Martin out of respect, I dont know why,it appears as tho he simply is a "mister".

huisjen
12-27-2006, 10:11 AM
Adulthood has been more fun, by and large.

Dan

PatCox
12-27-2006, 10:37 AM
I remember being out of the house tromping through woods and swamps, building forts, making a bow and arrows, damming little streams until the water destroyed my damns, blowing up plastic model battleships with firecrackers, catching snakes and bugs and salamanders and toads and frogs, seining, fishing, crabbing, clamming, rowing, boating, exploring, building forts, climbing trees, from dawn to dusk. In the house, playing with plaster of paris, building plastic models of ships and cars and trucks and tanks, collecting coins, reading Robinson Crusoe and The Swiss Family Robinson and Huckleberry Finn, building balsa and tissue model airplanes, watching Carson and the Twilight Zone and Don Kirshners Rock Concert.

I had fun. Hated school. Didn't get along, we moved a lot, I was always the new kid.

brad9798
12-27-2006, 10:38 AM
As a kid, mom and dad were almost deity in that everything was safe, warm, comfortable with them. I grew up in the 1970s though ... so we had TV. I watched a few shows. No video games.

It was street hockey, football and baseball in the side yard (the roof of the house across the street was the 'home run' wall- we played with a tennis ball!)

We would ride our Big Wheels/ Green Machines/whatever. Mailboxes were gas stations. Stores. Car washes, etc.

We played rough sometimes ... we had fights sometimes ... but we were friends. It was our corner of the world on the cul de sac ... no traffic.

Bike trails and woods on one side of the neighborhood.

Many places to explore. The sweet gum tree in the front yard was great to climb. And the 'gumballs' when green made for great projectiles when playing war.

Then we started to grow up ... grow apart. We were becoming our own types of people: athletes, bookworms, gay, straight, whatever.

Flash forward 20 years, and I proud that I have given my three kids the same type of environment ... a strong family unit. I see my parents still several times a week as do my kids.

I get to relive that magic through my children for a few more years at least.

:)

Another One
12-27-2006, 10:40 AM
Hmmm . . . early childhood was good. I thought nothing of wandering our little neighborhood or in the neighboring woods, and had kids my own age to play with. My memories of the time include finding ladyslipper orchids while designing pretend "houses" in the woods, and running all the way home after being stung by a bee while liberating some fresh peas from the garden of a home a block away. I had a bike with a basket in front, and a series of dogs.

Later childhood, after 3rd grade, sucked, as did adolescence. The folks had split. We moved a lot, meaning I was always switching schools and starting over with a new set of peers. Most of the time we lived in a very small apartment with limited financial resources (and no tv, by the way), and mom spent most of her time either in low-skill jobs or attending classes at the "bible college."

As a result, I'm a very hands-on parent who promised myself a long time ago that I would not move my kids during the 13 years of their basic educational experience. And when I mentor teens who are going through difficult adjustments, I can honestly say that being a minor sometimes sucks - - but things will get better.

Paul Girouard
12-27-2006, 10:58 AM
Yup pretty much , Dad died when I was 6 , but I pretty much don't remember any of that. Small N.E. town , with 2 houses on our side of the street, my Mom's and just down the hill Pip and Mim's ( French for Grandpa & Grandma , ah ,sorta shortened up a bit:o )place . A big ball field / athletic field really beside their house and beside our side of our house a swamp , then a hill , then a old cemetery on top of that hill , behind all that a river( really a small stream but we called it a River, Chippy River MTL spelled wrong) so I had a vast (for a kid ) play ground , frogs , fish , rabbits , squirrels, birds , lizards all good stuff. Lots of neighborhood buddies , great stuff for a young boy.

That same set up is still in place , those two houses still are the only ones on that stretch of street , on that side , so the vast place still have potential for young kids.

LeeG
12-27-2006, 11:30 AM
sheer hilarity, pleasure seeking, escape, enjoyment in pushing boundaries,fear, traveling with a pack of boys,,then,,,a social conscience vandalism/pack behaviour lost it's thrill,,awareness of the power difference between kids and grownups,,AND THEN PUBERTY....AHHHHHHH

haven't recovered since

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-27-2006, 11:35 AM
Childhood was good until I was 8. Boarding school from 11 until 18 was good in term time. Otherwise it was not much. My thirties were good, though.

S.V. Airlie
12-27-2006, 11:37 AM
Boarding school.. yup.. spent most of my time trying to figure out how to get out without being kicked out.. Did a pretty good job but my classmates didn't like it...

brad9798
12-27-2006, 11:40 AM
OMG, how could I have not mentioned boating with my parents ... i LOVED to spend the night on the boat with the AC on in the summer. Nothing better- bed at dark, up at light.

It was a 1959 Owens Flagship. A beauty ...

I would get the dinetter to myself ... always loved lowering the table and unsnapping the cushions from the bulkheads to make my berth!

ishmael
12-27-2006, 12:51 PM
One of my favorite memories from when I was, oh, ten, was getting a head of steam up with a friend, Jerry, and a couple shovels, and making an underground fort. It was hard by a crick, just a muddy rill through cornfields. We made a dugout, not dissimilar to war dugouts. It was in an unused field behind his house. The fathers came and had a look, just to make sure we weren't doing something really stupid. You had to crawl through a tunnel in the earth to get into it. Candles for light. I remember my pop insisted on sticking a pipe in the roof for ventilation. Great hideout for a year or two. We got into a war of mudballs with some of the older boys, and defended the redoubt with great courage.

People sneer at notions of genetics, but we didn't build that fort because of training.

Sea Frog
12-27-2006, 01:20 PM
Only the teeth hurt.

bamamick
12-27-2006, 02:24 PM
I grew up with a very stern father. Not abusive, not at all, but very stern. I basically spent the first 30 years of my life thinking that I had done something wrong and just didn't want to make it any worse.

We lived out of town. My dad had two jobs the whole time we were growing up and my mom worked at a bank. We raised AKC white German Shepards to sell and we raised pigeons and daylillies as well. To this day I can not smell a daylilly without my stomach turning. Not too crazy about pigeons, either. For awhile we had ducks and guinea hens, as well, but thankfully that didn't last that long. A duck hatchery stinks something fierce.

Anyway, I started working on our three acres at about the age of seven. I cut it all with a push Yazoo lawn mower that my father still has to this day. Once a week. Raked it once a week once the pine straw started falling. Fed and watered the dogs and cleaned the pens. Worked in the pigeon house. Every so often my dad and I would go out there at night and kill rats. Oh my. I hated that so much, but I also have a fear of rats to this day.

I do not mind that I had to help my father. How could I mind? What I hate is that I never, ever felt that I did anything right. I had a terrible stutter as a child and have always been clumsy. I found my solace in two places: the woods and the playing fields. I loved to go out by myself. I had a .22 rifle at the age of eight and would dissappear from daylight to past dark if I could. And playing ball? Oh man how I loved to play ball. We played baseball days upon end without stopping or keeping score. Pure bliss.

My dad took me hunting and fishing, and I was no good at either and didn't enjoy them. The bottom line is that the things that my dad were good at and wanted me to enjoy I hated. A bad situation that eventually fell apart when I was about 16, decided that drinking was more fun that playing ball, and went about two years without saying a word to my father at all.

All of that is behind me now. My dad and I have a great relationship and I love him deeply. It took me a long time to realise how hard my parents had it when I was a kid and what my dad sacrificed for all of us. He is my hero and will be until the day that I die. My life was no better or worse than millions of kids. It made me stronger later on in life and it made me a better dad when I had that chance. The one thing that I learned early and have kept it close is to always, always, tell the people that you love 'I love you' every chance that you get. Never let a day go by. I vowed that when I had kids that they would know it, and by God they know it. Kids growing up wondering why their parents don't love them is so, so hard.

Mickey Lake

ishmael
12-27-2006, 02:49 PM
"Hmmm . . . early childhood was good. I thought nothing of wandering our little neighborhood or in the neighboring woods, and had kids my own age to play with. My memories of the time include finding ladyslipper orchids while designing pretend "houses" in the woods, and running all the way home after being stung by a bee while liberating some fresh peas from the garden of a home a block away."

Do you have any idea how benevolent your childhood was? Mine was too, but it's rare.

Mick,

The hardest times I had as a child were killing the fish we'd caught. The memory is as strong as whisky. Fish, still live, fresh out of the lake or well, and we'd kill them. Merciful, we'd give 'em a good whack on the head with a hammer, but when that gut slit open you knew you were witnessing death.

The last fish I caught was a little MA brookie. Pulled him out of a stream behind my house, on a cane pole. So rich, I whacked him on the head, and took him in the house, gutted him, and cooked him. Delicious. Just a bit of butter, salt and pepper.

I don't have a huge problem with it. Just be aware.

Uncle Duke
12-27-2006, 03:11 PM
Bamamick - I stuttered as a kid also, from about 8 until I was in my 20's. Still do a little, of course, mostly on the phone oddly enough. That makes for a very lonely adolesence - it's hard to socialize when it takes 3 minutes to tell someone your name.
My folks were great about it, though they (irrationally) felt guilty about it, like it was their fault. I spent lots of time reading, rowing and sailing - not a back way to grow up actually. Not much fishing, L.I. Sound being too polluted. Cross-country running in school, then wrestling and rowing later - all individual sports instead of team sports. Some of that lasts to this day - there are very few people who I like to go sailing with as opposed to going alone. I still run an occasional marathon (2001, 2002 and 2004 being the latest) but I find that it interferes with my smoking and drinking.
I guess I grew up happy, overall. Good family, always something to do, lots of positive reinforcement for taking personal responsibility.

S.V. Airlie
12-27-2006, 03:13 PM
I didn't stutter.. I was deaf until fourth grade.. Didn't know how to stutter.. but I read lips real well.

Another One
12-27-2006, 03:28 PM
Jeez, I guess it could have been worse. Anyone following this story?

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/12/27/papa.pilgrim.ap/index.html

bamamick
12-27-2006, 05:08 PM
when I learned how to sail. That is the truth. I still do it from time to time but not so that I really notice it or that it bothers me. When I learned how to sail a lot changed in my life for the better. Another one of those gifts given to me that I probably didn't appreciate as much at the time, but I certainly do appreciate them now.

Mickey Lake

ishmael
12-27-2006, 07:27 PM
I stuttered, too. It's fairly common, especially in boys, right after picking up the language. Rather than a specialist, my parents took me to our pediatrician, a really smart guy who said, let's wait and see. No treatment. It was never bad, but I still stutter in times of stress and excitement.

I can't imagine a happier first ten years, even with the killing of fish, which really caught my attention. Pop spent a lot of time with me teaching to run a boat, and mom, though a bit histrionic and self-involved, taught me to read, and was kind. The best though was like Another One's, being free to roam the neighborhood with no fears. There was a period of about twenty years in post-war suburbia that really was like Leave it to Beaver at its best. Sure, there were all kinds of problems, but never any fear of someone hurting a kid. I remember just walking into my best friend's houses, and no one thinking twice about it. We were constantly in each other's yards, all over the neighborhood.

Pretty good stuff.

When we buried mom I revisited those neighborhoods. Things had changed, dramatically, and not for the better.

Wild Dingo
12-27-2006, 08:02 PM
I grew up in the country,shoeless in summer usually wearing only shorts.I played outside in the woods a good bit most of the time,with my dog at my side every where I went.My mom expected my dog to stay with me as my protector,and the dog seemed happy to do so.I recall it as a very happy childhood ,I had everything I needed but few things I wanted.But I didnt want much as I didnt know at the time that I didnt have much.It wasnt until later when we moved to the city that I realized I was considered "deprived".
As I get older I miss the way I was raised in those early years,the very simple life I lived. And I want it back.It seems I still cling to a bit of that life now days .At home my dog is with me no matter where I am in the house or outside, that dog must be by my side,for my sake as much as his I think.

Im still doin it mate... tried the other life but couldnt stand it so have made me peace with bein a bushy and headed back where I belong :cool: and as happy as larry while Im at it ;)

What made me happy? I chose... after the shyte of growing up surviving some major traumas as a hoon I grew up angry as shyte a bloody great rock on me shoulder instead of a chip... then one day I just said F**k it Im gonna live a better life do better for myself and be bloody happy... and although it took a lot of work to achieve Im now there

Life like this forum is a choice we have to choose to be happy in ourselves and our lives then work at achieving that happiness

merlinron
12-27-2006, 10:30 PM
i grew up very happy just outside of milwaulee with my mother at home to raise us kids(myself and 3 sisters) and my dad working hard to see that we had all we needed and most (reasonably) of what we wanted. he was a builder of pretty white canopy beds and dressers, pond sailers, go-karts, toboggans, taught me to hunt, to fish, respect the girls in my family and life and be as much as i could be, i spent allot of time by his side everywhere he went. then he got sick (cancer) and passed on when i was 17. late teens and early adulthood was not so fun, pretty much on my own, stumbling around and learning from my own stupid decisions and irresonsibilities. mom had to go to work and the guidance that a young adult should maybe have gotten fell to the side, but all in all, i made it through without any scars. my only question about it all is what it would have been like as an adult with my dad around to have a beer with and things like that. i am now as old as my dad was when he passed and my son and daughter both older than i was at that same time. my biggest hope is that i may be around to enjoy thier early adulthood and see them grow to have families of thier own.

geeman
12-29-2006, 06:43 AM
I have to try to reconnect with my dad again.I thought it was just me but it seems all my kids and their wives and husbands as well, cant stand his new girlfriend.Shes one of those people that just has to correct any statement made and will give you the benefit of her advice asked for , or not.How we're going to get around the fact that none of us can stand her remains to be seen.Somehow We'll have to find a way though, for dad's sake.

S.V. Airlie
12-29-2006, 06:46 AM
That would be tough geeman. Luckily, when my father got together with another woman after my mother died. he picked a gem...
Don't know what we, the siblings, would have done if he hadn't.

I talk to her on the phone about once a week.. Just a check in call for the most part. She is, afterall, 88....

geeman
12-29-2006, 06:52 AM
This ole gal of my dads,,,,,,.The 1st time we met her was in a resturant. Within 5 minutes of meeting me she proceeded to give me advice on how to get along with my own kids.My kids are adults all in their late 30's with families of their own.Not knowing any history of our family she felt she had the right to advise.
Dad is fine,but this bugaboo wil have to be delt with by me probably ,before one of my kids take it on themselves to deal with her.After all they are chips off the old block.