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Phillip Allen
06-06-2006, 10:18 AM
Long ago my dad told me, “You can’t cheat at solitaire”. He went on to explain; "At solitaire, there is no one to play against so cheating is moot. You may simply turn up the cards and declare yourself to have won…by your own rules.”

His point was that we set our own standards for competition at that card game and so may make it hard or easy as we see fit. If we are entertained, we have succeeded. Having said that, it follows (for me) that to succeed I must have striven against some difficult odds; otherwise I may as well just turn up the cards. For some, simply turning up the cards may be the most they can expect to do while for others a more difficult procedure is desirable for them to feel entertained. To win is an aesthetic, a case of entertainment. Think of my example as a child’s stick figure vs. a Gainesboro painting like Blue Boy. Both are art. Both may be an accomplishment but on different levels.

I hope that my discussion above may explain why I dislike graduation ceremonies at every possible line of demarcation a child may pass in his schooling. I think of high school graduation as the culmination of our passage through our initial education, leaving us free to pursue our adult path through life. To “graduate” from K, first, second and so on is asinine and cheats the real graduation after (our) twelfth grade. It falls into what I think of as the “Isn’t that cute” category of banal pursuits. By the time a child has actually graduated from school, he/she is likely pretty bored with the process and will not attach much importance to it.

There will be some who disagree and are likely to have cute little “formals/tuxedos” in storage. I leave that sort of behavior to the easily entertained. They are welcome to it.

What made me reflect on the proceeding was the homosexual marriage talk. One may already have civil unions or at least a contract drawn up by a lawyer to affect what is claimed to be the pursuit of these celebrants. I tend to think of it as the “Isn’t that cute” behavior talked about before.

If I had push-button control over the debate about homosexual marriage I would not stop the marriage pursuit any more than I would stop some “Barbie-doll” parent from making a silly fuss over their child’s “graduation” from strained carrots to finger food…it is not very important to the world at large and its significance is limited to the participants only.

ljb5
06-06-2006, 10:40 AM
Phillip, I totally agree with you about the silliness of graduation ceremonies.

For that matter, I think most ceremonies are silly. The current trend in heterosexual weddings is way over the top, in my opinion. I've been to maybe six weddings in the last three years (including my own) and all of them (including my own) were a little over-blown. We tried real hard to keep it simple and small, but you know how these things get out of hand...

I'm not sure that you are correct that a lawyer can draw up a contract to replicate the legal situation of marriage. I've heard that this is only partially true. The agreement between two people to share assets is easy enough, but what about getting your employer to cover health insurance for both parties?

Nevertheless, if it's true that a legal contract can achieve the goal of gay marriage, it's equally true that a legal contract can do the same for straight marriage.

Why should straight people be allowed to marry? Why not just have a lawyer draw up a contract?

Why have one legal process for one group and another legal process for another?

The most important legal principle here is not 'cuteness' or 'tradition,' it's equality.

Joe (SoCal)
06-06-2006, 10:42 AM
Until ANY two people can simply say I DO and enjoy the bundle of rights that go with that one phrase it's discrimination.

ljb5
06-06-2006, 10:49 AM
Mazel tov!

We didn't have any of that at our wedding. Fewer than 40 guests, no band (MP3 player), and very simple decorations.

Still, the food was awesome, the location breathtaking, the conversation good and the bar open.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
06-06-2006, 10:58 AM
Hong Kong City Hall. 10 minutes, start to stop. I know that because they schedule weddings at ten minute intervals.

Oh, and a wedding breakfast at the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club afterwards. Twenty guests. Call it three hours, total.

Joe (SoCal)
06-06-2006, 11:05 AM
For years I worked as a bartender at a catering hall on Waverly Place. I worked all denominational weddings. If it was a Jewish wedding and I could play solitaire behind the bar, but ooooooh the food was so good. If I was told that the wedding was an Irish wedding I would come in an hr early just to stock the bar as best I could and prep for the RUSH. The food was almost nonexistent. Italian weddings were the best good food, good wine, good music, and good tippers ;)

My wedding was held outside at my father-in-laws formal garden at his home in Millbrook. We had a five piece jazz band and a wonderful Millbrook catered affair and of course an open bar :). Simple spring formal attire and flowers. The whole event was very understated, even for me ;)

We celebrate that day 10 years ago on the 15 of this month.

John of Phoenix
06-06-2006, 11:57 AM
Congrats Norman.
I'm off to my daughter's wedding tomorrow.
From all their planning (wife and daughter), it promises to be very unconventional.
Bride's maids are wearing those hot "little black dresses".
All different flavors of cupcakes for wedding cake.
The ceremony is in the Ft Lauderdale Museum of Art.
Ought to be fun.

I hope I don't cry. :)

Joe (SoCal)
06-06-2006, 12:00 PM
Oh by the way Congrats Norman :)

Paul Pless
06-06-2006, 12:01 PM
this certainly is not the direction I was expecting this thread to take...

troutman
06-06-2006, 12:07 PM
Norm, you might want to have a chat with the best man. The ten minute toast that has the bestman going through the 10 reasons to room with the groom in college is painful. The last time I saw this the groom was seething. Had something to do with reason #8 and picking up girls. Best man should be the only one to get to the mike.

Phillip Allen
06-06-2006, 03:32 PM
this certainly is not the direction I was expecting this thread to take...

prolly 'cause there are no Moms responding...

Meerkat
06-06-2006, 05:06 PM
Marriage: do the quiet little thing on the beach at sunrise.

Save the big parties for having survived each other for a year, 3 years, 7 years... ;)

huisjen
06-06-2006, 05:09 PM
There was that point at my brother's wedding when the wedding coordinator came up and interrupted a good conversation I was having with my grandfather. She wanted all the siblings lined up for a picture. I never got to talk to him again on that trip, and he died before I got out there again.

Wedding planners suck.

Dan

Paul Pless
06-06-2006, 05:11 PM
One of my employees, an attractive gal with a dark personality at times, decided to get married on Halloween. A couple of years later her husband broke her neck with his bare hands while trying to strangle her to death. She was saved by a neighbor who just about killed her husband with a shovel.

After a long recovery she ended up marrying her rescuer...

...on Valentine's Day.

huisjen
06-06-2006, 05:13 PM
David makes a good point. Therefore I'd like to mention that my sister Jami, a.k.a. "Another One", is starting to make plans for a 20th Anniversary party, to take place a bit over a year from now. This is worth cellebrating, as she is the only one of us, incuding parents and our half sister (who's young enough to really have no freaking excuse), to get it right the first time!

Dan

Wild Wassa
06-06-2006, 05:28 PM
Norm, here is a little gem for your speech at the wedding reception?

Why does a bride wear white at her wedding? So she is co-ordinated with the washing machine and fridge.

The guys at weddings laugh but there is usually a 20 second pause until the rest of the guests get it. Then you hear the odd, "Oh dear!" There is always someone (usually drunk) who 20 seconds later yells out, "She is the dishwasher." That breaks the ice. Try it out and tell me how my timing went.

I work on boats beside a marquis at the Canberra yacht club ... the number of beers the guests force on me is amazing (we can look at that later) ... at the funerals or the wakes I often console the bereaved and showing them the boats ... it is very healing.

It can be a surrealistic life working at a yacht club that holds many outdoor receptions. The number of wedding receptions I've attended this year (purely by default), could be a Guinness record. The midweek weddings are the best ... people are very friendly midweek and a wake held on a Friday morning is a top event too. Friday morning wakes tend to go until way after sunset. Monday wakes stop just after lunch ... pick your time to die boys.

Don't cheat yourself.

Warren.