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View Full Version : Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?



paladin
02-21-2006, 07:14 AM
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following
question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the corner,

locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife,

and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal. 40,
and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?

__________________________________________________ ___________________

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into
it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my
children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me, If I were to grab his knees
and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus

__________________________________________________ ___________________

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

__________________________________________________ _____________________

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click...(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

High C
02-21-2006, 07:39 AM
:D

Andrew Craig-Bennett
02-21-2006, 07:41 AM
..at which point, the real crazed Islamic terrorist, the man standing behind you with the machete, whom your "crazed Islamic terrorist" was trying to cut down before he got to you, swings it and beheads you... ;)

[ 02-21-2006, 07:52 AM: Message edited by: Andrew Craig-Bennett ]

paladin
02-21-2006, 08:07 AM
nah..Andrew...I izz too tall....

Andrew Craig-Bennett
02-21-2006, 08:54 AM
Dunno about this Glock business.

Traditionally, of course, you stop a crazed Islamic terrorist with a Colt .45

(Folklore has it that the gun was supplied to US forces in Mindanao in the Philippine-American war for that very purpose, cos .38's would not stop a reak Moro amok ! )

paladin
02-21-2006, 08:59 AM
yup..firepower...the single action took too long to reload and was too slow in rapid fire mode...those "walang anu mon" moros would tie cords around their extremeties to prevent loss of blood if heavily wounded...

Joe (SoCal)
02-21-2006, 09:19 AM
Bronx Irish Westy's way:

Wink to your two mates creeping up behind the terrorist. One brother slips the piano wire around his neck while the other shoves a shiv in his kidney and pulls the blade up as he whispers in the fellows ear "Tell me when ya meet Allah, cause I got a few fooking choice words fer him" Then ya tell yer wife to take the kids home cause me and the boys got some work to do. If he has some bombs on him or any other guns you remove them and crate then up to be shipped to the boys back home. You slice off his left and right hand and pack em in dry ice to be used as dummy fingerprints for other things. Gut him so his body doesn't bloat and float make sure ya cut all the internal bags. Fill him with a couple of stones and drop him in the east river. Go have a pint at Gaelic Park with your mates. ;) And remember always vote Democratic cause there usually a Mic on the ticket ;)

[ 02-21-2006, 09:32 AM: Message edited by: Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ) ]

Dan McCosh
02-21-2006, 09:20 AM
Republican: Turns and shoots the guy standing in the doorway across the street.
Southern Republican: Says "I guess he's OK. Doesn't look like he's gay to met."

uncas
02-21-2006, 09:21 AM
And remember always vote Democratic cause there usually a Mic on the ticket

Senator H Clinton is a Mic? WOW....

Joe (SoCal)
02-21-2006, 10:05 AM
No way ol Hillary is gonna make the ticket. But eh is McCain Irish ? :D

[ 02-21-2006, 10:06 AM: Message edited by: Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ) ]

uncas
02-21-2006, 10:06 AM
But...but....but...last time I checked...he was a republican Joe....Have I missed something?

Joe (SoCal)
02-21-2006, 10:09 AM
Eh if he's got a Mc in his name that overrides all ;)

uncas
02-21-2006, 10:10 AM
I'll go along with that...

RichKrough
02-21-2006, 11:15 AM
Why would the Democrat shoot his gardener?

The Republican would shoot himself in the foot

The Southern Republican would first ask the terrorist if he could borrow his jumper cables.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
02-21-2006, 11:17 AM
Originally posted by RichKrough:
Why would the Democrat shoot his gardener?

The Republican would shoot himself in the foot

The Southern Republican would first ask the terrorist if he could borrow his jumper cables.What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd! :D :D :D

cedar savage
02-21-2006, 11:23 AM
You don't know your Southern Republicans well, because they'd already have the jumper cables in the truck. Kneecap the dude in both knees, then wire him up to the jumper cables, calling for his friends with the Southern Republican call to action: "Hey, y'all, watch this."

Osborne Russel
02-21-2006, 02:40 PM
Now your crosses are
burnin' fast

Meerkat
02-21-2006, 08:28 PM
Originally posted by Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ):
Eh if he's got a Mc in his name that overrides all ;) Clinton sounds like an Irish name to me. tongue.gif

Meerkat
02-21-2006, 08:29 PM
Originally posted by cedar savage:
You don't know your Southern Republicans well, because they'd already have the jumper cables in the truck. Kneecap the dude in both knees, then wire him up to the jumper cables, calling for his friends with the Southern Republican call to action: "Hey, y'all, watch this."Hmmmm... that would explain some of the pictures from Abu Grahib... :rolleyes:

stumpbumper
02-21-2006, 08:41 PM
"Southern Democrats"? :confused: Oh yeh, that's those guys that drive around with Confederate flags and rifles in the rear window of their pickup trucks. They aren't democrats anymore, they're republicans.
:rolleyes:
Lynn

Meerkat
02-21-2006, 10:46 PM
Republicrats. ;)