View Full Version : Martha Stewart's back on deck!

11-01-2002, 11:32 PM
Arrrrg, maties! I wuz havin' uh problem with thu sparkin' plugs on my dingy's outboard! Whenever I tried to launch a bordin' party for a blood thirsty raid a treasure-galleon them sparkin' plugs would be all fouled and thu confounded motor wouldn't start!
So there I wuz, tryin' to clean thu burned-on gook from thu plugs usin' sandpaper and thu pointy end of my rusty iron hook, when a ugly, slimy sea-monster climbed on board! I was levelin' a swivel-gun at it, but it took off its scuba mask and it was none other than Martha Stewart!
"My dear fellow..." she said, ("Not in a hundret years!" sez I ), "I see that you are having a problem removing a burned-on substance..."
"No," sez I, "Ah'm havin' a problem with sea-monsters on mah deck..." and I continued to try to draw a bead with the swivel-gun as she scampered around.
"There is a simple solution!" she chortled in that television voice of hers which sounds so much like someone with long fingernails slidin' off of a slate roof, "Just warm those spark plugs a bit and spray them with Easy-Off oven-cleaner, a few minutes later they can be made sparklingly clean with a discarded tooth-brush! Isn't that splendid!"
Just then the swivel-gun got over it's hang-fire and went off, and the potato I'd loaded it with carried Martha over the rail, well on her way to some other country which might not have an extradition treaty with this one.

Scott Rosen
11-02-2002, 08:37 AM
Aye, oven cleaner 'tis mighty strong grog.

It'll remove paint in less time than it takes to make an accidental jibe.

Careful where you spray it.