BOOK KARMA--nice hardback, work for your chance at it!

[Billy Bones]

All right you harbor sailors and/or elbow benders, I'm collecting stupid captain stories. Give me your best and win a book. I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing them up in marketable form, but it'll be a fun read even if it just stays here.

I'm looking for things like:

My friend (who occasionally looks in here) is caretaker of a big searay 38 for a ritzy stateside doctor. For the purposes of these stories I've renamed him Dr Bill and his yacht 'Come-Play-Sun-Sea' which pretty well sums them both up.

After calling to say he'd be down the following weekend and wanted the boat all ready, my friend (a cross between Burt Dow and Jimmy Buffet) makes everything ready, down to inspecting all the switches on all the hide-away berths and even cleans all the mirrors and glass aboard(big job). Hell, the boat still has that show-room smell. Anyway, my friend gets a call Saturday at lunch chastising him for failing to fill up the fuel tanks, which puzzles him. Monday he puts the boat back to bed, only to find out the fuel tanks are down a few gallons, and the holding tanks are full.

Of diesel.

The boat runs on gas.

Anyway, give me your best shot. And the story must be true or damn near.

My parents gave me (for the fourth time) Michael Ruhlman's 'Wooden Boat' for Christmas. This time, though, it's the fancy hardback edition. It hasn't been cracked and is in near perfect condition. I'll send it to the author of the story that tickles me/us most.

Any takers?

[John B]

Don't put me on the book list there Billy , but as for a story.... I actually know a man who found he had a blocked head one morning( back in the pre holding tank days).Now this man tried very hard to clear the blockage by partial disassembly, wire etc, but couldn't clear it and gave up after announcing to the family it was all over.. bucket and chuck it for the rest of the cruise.
Later on that afternoon they were at another bay and he went for a dive .While he was diving this grand idea came to him. blocked head, compressed air!
I'm not exactly sure how he did it but to cut the story short.... he blasted the outlet with air from his tank and lo.... the blockage was gone. No more resistance.
'well done' he thought as he surfaced at the transom. Until he saw his wife and dog cowering in the cockpit. Unfortunately, the door to the head had been open too.

[Venchka]

John, you have to add your story about your friends and the PFD.

Wayne
In the Swamp. :D

[John B]

Oh yeah...Dave and Sue... ROFL. its here, a couple of weeks ago... (http://www.woodenboat-ubb.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=004310)

[ 06-20-2005, 11:29 PM: Message edited by: John B ]