View Full Version : The Odyssey of Charles & Vermillyum.

11-21-2002, 10:53 AM
"Well now, Vermillyum, it shor is calm and peaceful out hereh on thu bayoo," said Charles laying back with a kapock life jacket as a pillow.

"Calm and peaceful it is," huffed Vermillyum, "We have been bee-calmed out hereh for hours since thu wind quit, an' Ah am bored and hungry!"

"Well, Mah Li'll' Ol' Sailor Sweet, yo' keep fishin' an' maybe we'll catch sumphin' fo' lunch. Meanwhile, Ah will tell yo' a story 'bout a feller named Odee-esses, and a real long boat trip he took..."

"Uh fish might be thu mo' innerestin' of those two idees," mumbled Vermillyum.

'Thereh wuz a feller named Achilles, whose daddy was Peleus, who give thu Achaeans grief, cause he mad wiff uh guy whose daddy was Atreus... Thu gawds got miffed, an' sent all sorts of plagues 'cause Atreus sassed a ol' preacher name of Chryses, who come to thu ships of the Achaeans 'cause his daughter..."

"Wait a minute hereh," interrupted Vermillyum, "This is about as innerestin' as readin' thu slow parts of thu bible! Pick up thu pace, Charles!"

"Ah'm gettin' to thu inneresting part quick as Ah can! This wuz a real long boat ride!"

"Oh goody," grimaced Vermillyum, "Jest whut Ah wanted to listen to right now..."

"They'd bin havin' a warh, like ourh Warh Betwixt thu States, they wuz fightin' ovur a pretty lady whose face launched a thousan' ships! But hit wuz all ovur, and Odee-esses wuz on his way home to Ithaca..."

"Thet's up Nawrth, ain't it?," interjected Vermillyum, "Wuz Odee-esses a Yankee?"

"This wuz anuther Ithaca," said Charles, "Let me tell yo' thu story. Well sir, Odee-esses boat run aground..."

"Been thereh too," Vermillyum murmmered.

"...Run aground on a island whereh there wuz a great big giant wiff jest one eye..."

"Sound' like Ol' Man Scragg," observed Vermillyum.

"Thet giant stuffed Odee-esses' men into a cave, and gobbled down a few of them. They got real mad and poked a stick in thu giant's one good eye! Then they got into theirh boat, and thu giant throwed rocks at them as they rowed away fast as they could!"

"Then they skedaddled on home?" asked Vermillyum.

"Not thet easy," said Charles, "They had to sail past anuther island, an' thereh were pretty ladies called thu Sireens, an' them Sireens sing real pretty, an' when boats come up close to listen--whoom!--they'd nevur get home!"

"Remind me of thet business trip yo' took to 'Nawlins..."

Charles hurried on, "Odee-esses had his men plug up theirh ears real tight, and they tied Odee-esses to thu mast so he could listen, but they'd still get by..."

"Hah!" said Vermillyum, "How could Odee-esses men row thu boat wiff their fingurs in theirh ears? An' after they'd got 'way from thu island, how could Odee-esses tell his men thet it wuz alright to untie him?
Did Odee-esses get home on time, or wuz it like yo' trip to 'Nawlins?"

"He almos' home when a big windbag blowed him away again!"

"Mo' and mo' like 'Nawlins..." observed Vermillyum.

"Odee-esses did got home, an' he foun' a whole bunch of draft-dodgers, bird-doggin' 'round his quail, his wife name of Penelope. An Ol' Odee-esses shot them bird-dogs so full of holes they cast poka dotted shadows!"

"Oh," said Vermillyum... "Charles, I believe thet there is a fish on mah line, if yo'd take it off of thu hook Ah wud fry it up fo' lunch."

"An' Ah believe thereh's a little breeze comin' up, Vermillyum, maybe we be home 'for sundown, an' maybe Ah'll jest have time to tell yo' 'nothur story..."

[ 11-25-2002, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: Shang ]

11-21-2002, 11:41 AM
:D :D

- M

John of Phoenix
11-21-2002, 02:36 PM
:cool: :cool:

11-24-2002, 08:49 AM
In response to a question from the balcony:
Why yes, I do plan to translate all of the world's great literature into Corn-pone English.
It's as if Gutenberg wore overalls...

Bill Perkins
11-26-2002, 10:43 PM
" Cold weather set in adruptly with a killing frost . Chilling winds swept beneath the doorsills and rattled the loose windowpanes with a monotonous tinkling sound . The last leaves fell from the bare trees and only the pines stood clothed black and cold against pale skies . The rutted red roads were frozen to flintiness and hunger rode the winds through Georgia . "

Wild Dingo
11-27-2002, 12:32 AM
been awhile between cornpone sagas mate!! Brilliant!... aaahhhh wha a shur sweet honeypot that thar woman is... shurly no one believe tha thar Charlies the right one fer her!! nosireebob he aint!!!...

Onwards an upwards!!! gotta drop over by yer website again mate maybe theres been a few ahve missed???

Take it easy

11-29-2002, 11:56 AM
Bill P.:
Poetry from Atlanta! Thu South shall rise ah-gin!

It's possible that a Southen Belle might not fully comprehend what a "wild dingo" actually is...