View Full Version : Feeling human again! (long)
11-10-2005, 05:41 PM
I have posted here before that I take an anti-depressant, and have for several years. Lately I have been going through a bit of a rough time. Tough at work, several serious family illnesses, including my father, the hurricanes and all of the damage done by them.In general it's just been a pretty sad time around here lately.
The bottom line is that even my meds have not been working. I have been hearing those voices in my head lately, the voices that never stop talking and won't let me rest. Usually I say the Lord's Prayer and that helps to calm my mind, but after a few moments I can't even pray without my mind getting cluttered.
Last week I took a vacation and worked on some of my boats. I got the deck painted on the schooner. Did a lot of varnishing. Took off many of the pieces (tiller, companionway hatch cover, engine hatch cover, boom crutch, etc.) and sanded and varnished them at home. Painted the running light covers. Scrubbed and cleaned the Beetle Cat. Got my Finn back from the shop and started re-rigging it and getting ready for racing. Hard but enjoyable work.
I can breathe again.I can think about one thing at a time for the first time in months. I can put a genuine smile on my face for the first time in months. I sat and had a conversation with one of my daughters today and really enjoyed her company. In other words, I am happy again, and I give all of the credit to the boats.
I have always lived with and around boats. I have owned my own boat since I was a kid. They are hard to keep up some of the time, and they are expensive almost all of the time, but no one will ever tell me that it's not worth it. I know differently. Everyone needs a purpose and mine is apparently, at least in part, to take care of boats. I'm not very good at it, but I suppose that I need them as much as they need me.
A different kind of therapy that works for some of us. Thank goodness.
11-10-2005, 06:01 PM
Are you speaking of two voices arguing all the time? With some occasional others that make you feel like the world is talking about you but not to you?
Try Wellbutrin. It's the only antidepressant I ever took that had a notable and immediate effect. It's not a SUI, nor is it, strictly speaking, a stimulant. I'm not sure anyone knows why it works, but it does, at least for some. It's also useful against nicotine addiction.
I've tried most of em, they either had no effect or bad side effects. One of em, Zoloft I think it was, put me in the hospital with tremors. You might take the attitude that your doctor knows as much about you as your mechanic knows about your car, maybe more than you think and maybe less. A few times in my life I've had to insist on a certain medication over a physician's objections, which turned out to be based on the fact that he'd never heard of it before. Bear in mind, any medication you get these days may have been prescribed not because it's the best thing for you but because it's being promoted by the drug company.
[ 11-10-2005, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: Victor ]
11-10-2005, 06:21 PM
Sir I can sympathize with you whole heartedly. Gota Kola ( a natural herb at the health food stores or some grocery stores ) promotes blood flow in the brain. A good multi vitamin everyday and gota kola will help your body heal itself. When the brain chemistry gets out of whack for some folks it is because they are simply missing a vitamin or mineral that is in short supply in the foods they eat. Replenish what your body needs gota kola helps a lot with clearing the mind up. I can tell you from my person experience it works wonders for me.
Go back to your boat and be still with it. Sit and look at it and touch it. Identify with the shape. Think about it as part of you and the good thoughts you have towards it become part of you.
Best of luck.
11-10-2005, 07:46 PM
Hang in there Mickey.
11-10-2005, 08:57 PM
I don't think you have to be depressed for things to get on top of you Mickey. Don't cha know men can't multi task :D ( thats my story and I'm sticking to it.)
No, you did the right thing! some boat time, perfec. Glad you're on the way up again.
here's something to make you laugh:
we finally launched Waione a week ago. I've been sneaking off at lunchtime to drop stuff off. Here's the drill. Drive to town, walk say 250 metres to the dinghy locker ,fight 10 ft dinghy into sea,row say 150 metres to the boat on the pile mooring.
Not much stuff you understand just letsss seee hmmmm, the 2 kids dinghies one day, 4 oars and the rig for the sailing dinghy the next day (except I actually took the wrong boom and sail out so I had to bring that back). 2 quarter berth squabs( closed cell foam has a life of its own did you know ,as witnessed by man watching me sitting on rolled up squab to stuff into sailbag so I could carry it. look away and pretend not to notice smirk) and the other part of the dinghy rig left behind the other day.
Bear in mind, still no sleeping gear etc.there's a long way to go.
so anyway, Today. Today is gorgeous crystal clear sunshine 22 degrees perhaps gentle 8 knot breeze so I decide ( after playing wrestler with the second squab) to fuel and water the boat. which I do absolutely no problemo. drop the lines, back out of the piles, motor over to the fuel wharf and diesel and water up. Then, cos its so beautiful, I motored out and fanged it up under the harbour bridge hitting 6.85 knots under power( flat chat) and returned to the mooring.
Mooring description. lines of piles driven into the seabed, three per boat to make 2 stern lines and one bow line. some top lines to captivate the boat as it comes in and to carry the messenger lines that hold the mooring ropes. So here's john boy quietly motoring in , some outgoing tide going starboard to port and astern, some breeze from the starboard quarter, the usual complication of the reverse prop wash which makes her step out to port depending on throttle. We're talking one man doing the two man job here.. so its the zen of a man actually multitasking.. theenking theenking calculating vector vector tiller between legs throttle at foot boathook in one hand drink in other.In we come ( me and the boat) gently gently, I grab the starboard quarter line lovely jubbly and start to walk forward to get the bow line . What the hell? where's the bow line gone?
On leaving I've hung the bow line replete with splice over the top line. The eye splice is about 10 inches long and as I came in I evidently speared the eye with the bowsprit smack onarooney so the bow line is out thar. not in here where it should be.
what a bloody joke, they pay millions to people who can put balls in holes and projectiles in targets and no one there to witness my 41 ft plus sprit... lets call it 48 ft long spear into a splice 10 inches long and about 4 inches wide. :D
[ 11-10-2005, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: John B ]
My Doc asked me if the Paxil was working for me. I told him "most of the time" but it ain't very hard for someone to lick the red off'n my candy and it takes me several days to get back in balance.
What works for one person maybe completely useless for the next.
I wish you well and hope that you can find enough balance in your life. Watch out for people that push your buttons and be ready to walk away if that is what it will take to keep you from being pushed under. You don't have to go very far or for very long. But just as you would avoid a physical fight so also avoid unpleasant verbal exchanges.
Ross in Bel; Air
11-11-2005, 09:27 AM
The longer I'm around the more people I find that seem to enjoy pushing peoples buttons. Or at the least, are so selfish that they just don't care. What a world.
Alan D. Hyde
11-11-2005, 10:54 AM
We were MADE to do manual work.
Doing a good job on some type of necessary manual labor is gratifying, and beneficial.
Studies of the Amish in Canada, who typically walk 18,000 (men) to 12,000 (women) steps a day doing their chores (IIRC), reveal that both their physical AND mental health are WAY above the average.
11-11-2005, 12:51 PM
Glad you're feeling better. Sounds like lots of troubles added to whatever endogenous depression you had. Here's a thought. In addition to working on your boat(s), you might try a theraputic yoga class (easy stuff, depending on your age and physical condition), or some other kind of gentle exercise/stretching class. Physical activity and being with other people can work wonders for depression. Good luck.
11-11-2005, 01:39 PM
Glad to hear you're moving in the right direction Mick. I struggled with the problem for 20 years before I quit being stubborn and got some medical help. Sometimes I still struggle, but not alone. I find that the best therapy for me is to pick up my tools and take care of something that needs me more than I need it. Varnish is a remarkable drug.
11-11-2005, 03:36 PM
When I moved from California to Washington eight years ago, I pretty much fell apart by the end of the first winter. The prescription for depression that worked best for me was a 30 minute walk once a day. The exercise combined with even cloud-filtered sunshine helped me feel better.
My allergy problems are much worse since moving here. I started taking an antihistamine every day. I spent about five years having anxiety symptoms, which I attributed to the same causes as that brief bout of depression. About three months ago, after struggling with physical symptoms of chronic anxiety for all this time, it occurred to me that I wasn't anxious about anything in particular, I was just having the physical symptoms without the psychological component. This is when I decided to check the side-effect profile of everything that I take. Lo and behold, four percent of the people who take Claritin have anxiety symptoms. I stopped taking it, and in TWO days the symptoms disappeared. Don't trust doctors to know the complete profile of the medicine you take. Use the Web to look up the complete prescribing information, including ADRs, and get active with your doc.
None of this may help with serious mental illness. It's just what helped this middle-aged guy who moved from a warm, sunny climate to the damp green Hell that is the Pacific Northwest.
Living in western Washington is like being married to a beautiful woman who is sick all the time.
[ 11-11-2005, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: Rick Tyler ]
11-11-2005, 04:07 PM
Victor, Wellbutin has a reputation for convulsions and unexplained deaths. It is not approved for use as an antidepressant in many countries, including Australia.
Its good to hear it works for you, but I would think it takes a very brave doctor to prescribe it for depression in any country with medicolegal issues.
11-11-2005, 05:10 PM
Have a nice day! (duplicate post)
[ 11-11-2005, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: Rick Tyler ]
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