View Full Version : Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well. Nothing else remains.

01-01-2001, 01:19 PM
Scott Rosen
posted 12-22-2000 03:11 PM
It takes a thread like this to make me appreciate the really interesting and important things in life. Like removing the callous from my feet or cleaning up after my dog.

bob goeckel
posted 12-22-2000 03:48 PM
did you ever notice how dogs and cats are fussy about what they eat but not about where they lick. Now why hasn't a pet food manufacturer developed some butt flavored pet food? seems logical to me since they enjoy it so much.

Dave R
posted 12-22-2000 04:00 PM
Smitty's not so fussy. He'll eat just about anything including fecal matter, his or the neighbor's cat's. At least he doesn't roll in it.
I try to tell him if his body didn't want it the first time, why would it want it now? It doesn't matter.

Hazy Chris
posted 12-22-2000 04:05 PM
I wonder if those of us who like wooden boats are more inclined to have "innie" belly buttons or "outie" belly buttons. The scientist in me wonders if there might be a correlation. (I'm and innie) This is pretty important stuff you know, undoubtedly reflective of deep psycological undercurrents.

Bob Cleek
posted 12-22-2000 05:36 PM
This is what they used to call a "slow news day..." Belly buttons are easy. Now, take NIPPLES... yea, NIPPLES! You tell me why guys have got 'em. This one I've never ever been able to find an answer for. Was it that at some time in the distant past men lactated and nursed young? I've never heard that. Don't know that any other male mammal would do so. So why are they there? Did God just figure it would make getting a sex change operation easier? Inquiring minds want to know!

Greg H.
posted 12-22-2000 05:43 PM
You've got nipples Bob?

posted 12-22-2000 07:16 PM
Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. Shessh, Bob. Every lawyer should know that. Every little boy starts out looking like a little girl. That garden of eden story; they got it backwards. We don't loose stuff, things just gets modified a little.

B Leggett
posted 12-22-2000 10:06 PM
god gave men nipples becouse he knew lawers would feel left out

posted 12-23-2000 03:45 PM
So the left nipple of a lawyer is an outie and the right an innie?
It would then logically follow that the navel of a right-handed lawyer would be an innie, and a left-handed lawyer would feel [left] out.

Bob Cleek
posted 12-27-2000 03:17 PM
Oh. Thanks. I always wondered.

Dave R
posted 12-27-2000 03:52 PM
Nipples? Smitty's got six of 'em. Never saw 'em on a he-dog before either.

Ed Harrow
posted 12-27-2000 04:29 PM
Thus came one of my father's frequent expressions, "Useless as teats on a bull."

posted 12-27-2000 06:32 PM
Well...my eclectic raconteurs have failed me. All you've said (on topic) is that my dog and my cat do have navels, I've just missed them. Not so!
I suppose there must be a mark or scar there under the belly fur, but nothing resembling my tartar sauce divot complete with screw to keep my back side from being left roadside; squiggly remnant of umbilicus, and ever present lint.

Some mysteries are best left unsolved, I suppose.

I confess to being disappointed, Ishmael

posted 12-27-2000 11:09 PM
First a disclaimer. I am a litteral zone evolutionest, beliving that out ancesters from about 14 to 8 milion years BCE evolved from a tree dwelling primate to a simi aquatic animal. living between high and low tide possable on the eastern edge of africa near the great rift. (See Elane Morgan. "Decent of woman-" " scars of evolution")

people have very differnt skin than land animals with a layer of fat attached to the skin that is why the belly button is a crater in most people since the scar tissue is reaching through the skin to join with the inner tissue. that it was once conected with like the aorita.

Art Read
posted 12-28-2000 07:14 AM
Two things I never dwell on when I want a good night's sleep... Whether or not Adam and Eve had belly buttons and that whole damn chicken and egg thing... (BTW... how come turkey eggs never caught on as a breakfast food? Anybody ever try one?)
[This message has been edited by Art Read (edited 12-28-2000).]

posted 12-28-2000 10:11 AM
Where is our forum veterinarian when we need him? He sure as heck aint out sailing.

posted 12-28-2000 09:34 PM
The whole chicken-and-egg thing can be resolved easily.
If you define an egg as something from which a chicken hatches [a fetal chicken, if you will], then obviously the egg came first.

If you define an egg as something laid by a chicken, then obviously the chicken came first.

As for as Adam and Eve, Didn't Michaelangelo paint Adam et al on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel? Is Adam's navel [or where one would be] showing? For that matter, how about the nekkid cherubs and stuff? Some of that might give a clue......

posted 12-28-2000 09:46 PM
Sorry about the typo

hugh man
posted 12-28-2000 10:04 PM
Jeffery may be right, but just to make sure, Ishmael, You definately should shave your dog and cat for a proper inspection. Please use plenty of shaving soap.

posted 12-29-2000 10:19 AM
Males have nipples because the female body form is generic. Males are testosterone modified females. The nipples are leftovers. Besides, where would the S&M types hang their chains?

01-01-2001, 02:13 PM
Hey, Chemist,

You used to be on my "A" list. Keep a weather eye out, you rationalist!

http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/wink.gif http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/wink.gif http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/wink.gif

Happy New Millenium All. How can we be other than friendly? I suspect, we'll find a way.

Let them eat ergot infected rye! with their cake. Better delusional witches than idealogues, that's what I always say.

Yours in mirth, Jack

01-01-2001, 03:41 PM
Hey, Jack, We are friendly. We are stuck with that. It's the UBB format, here in this cyberspace. We brought in with us.

Be willing to take responsibility for what you create.

Some of the threads you start, contributed to by others, become hilarious things. They deserve to persist. The belly button thing [I had saved only that fragment of it, on the Desktop, to copy into that other thread, which also died an ignominious death...unwept, unhonored, unsung....] I think one of the funnier ones. Look at what others did with it.

See......you deny your own belly button. You have done everything you could to eradicate it, while others revel in theirs and others' and the eclectic significances therof.

I could read all sorts of Freudian significances into that, but you are much better in that arena than I.

It also may be a chemical imbalance. Did you start taking meds, or stop, that gave this suicidal impulse to delete all of yours that is whimsical? Nothing personal here, but note that Tipper Gore herself, a few months ago pronounced that all human behavior is chemical, and can be controlled and altered with chemicals that modulate brain chemistry [or some such, I disremember the exact words, but it got a lot of publicity]. I felt there was some truth in it. Note the behavior of Mr. Gore two to eight years ago: He was stiff, rigid, wooden, humorless; in the last year of campaigning he was much more relaxed, good-humored, extroverted, friendly, and so I thought the American public had a right to know what drug was responsible for his so dramatic change, and whether he started taking it or stopped [I heard this on the 'net, but it has such a ring of truth to it....].

Or....I hesitate to bring this up.....but since we are such good friends I feel I can....Have you gone to the Dark Side? Have you been using ethylene glycol for strange and secret rituals, and now are another documented case of thread erasure due to ethylene glycol exposure? I saw this happen with Dave Carnell, but it could have been any manner of strange accident or happenstance....but if there is a pattern here, if we have linked this chemical exposure with actual thread loss, if we now have statistical proof that one thread in 137 may erase after such chemical exposure, then governmental warnings will need to be posted.....

01-01-2001, 04:08 PM
Oh, come on, guys! If your own personal version of "Maid Marion" ever nibbled on one of your nipples you wouldn't have to ask what they are for.


01-01-2001, 04:26 PM
Nah Chemist,

I eliminated what I did, in a pique. The elimination WAS taking responsibility, in my own silly way, for making my whimsy appear, (then disappear) in the face of what felt like opprobrium.

The sanction felt strict. Harsh. Dave saying I write poorly when compared with John, and saying his computer filter was god, if only... You know, like that... you know 'cause you made a seemingly flippant statement to the same affect.

I wish I hadn't erased with free hand, now that we bandy it. Just 'cause it would be more interesting, to me, if it were still here to look at. I resolve to not do it again.

Call it chemical imbalance. If ethanol is the chemical I'm there, tight with your assesment.

Where is the darkness, Chemist? It seems to roil and trouble all around; and I can only refuse and embrace, as well as I know how.

Best to you, Jack

01-01-2001, 05:19 PM
opprobrium ?

Well, Ish, ya gotta admit the JohnR don't use wurds Legget, jeffrey and me can't even pronounce, let alone, spell.


P.S. To be used only in case of need-- http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif

01-01-2001, 05:32 PM
Refuse not the occasional dark cloud, for by contrast they give beauty to the light. Ever notice the interesting qualities of a sunset around a few clouds? Resist not the darkness, for what you resist you become. Be willing to be the darkness, and all is light.

Read stuff you would not ordinarily read. Read [or reread] the classic pulp mysteries of Raymond Chandler, or the more recent of Mickey Spillane. Don't omit Arthur Conan Doyle. Read some Science Fiction. Theodore Sturgeon, particularly the short stories. Roger Zelazny, particularly the Amber series, and, for a remarkable novel, Jack of Shadows. Read Jack Chalker, the Well World series. Read John Dos Passos' trilogy, the Forty-second parallel, Nineteen Nineteen and The Big Money. Read Thomas Wolfe's [circa 1935, not the recent guy] Look Homeward, Angel and the three others that followed it.

Write some of each, for practice, an extra paragraph or three, that fleshes out something the author did not.

The writing gets better with practice. Accept the idea that the first fifty or a hundred thousand words may be garbage. After another hundred thousand words or so you may even develop a style or two of your own. Even if you have the need to write as a part of whatever occupation you currently have, write fiction, trash, anything. There are adult classes at many local colleges in creative writing, or whatever they may call it.

Illegitemis Non Carborundum.

01-01-2001, 05:50 PM
Yeah, I admit it. Go look it up, ya lazy...

Hey, doesn't it roll off the tongue better than "scorn"? Was Hemingway so popular 'cause he didn't use big words, at a time when our vocabulary was shrinking?

Well, it fits. It's just my luck to be born when the high culture consists of: Hoo Hoo babe, grunt/sit and make me happy...the mouth works fine, so long as you don't try to speak.

No offense Norm, it's not your fault. But, I happen to think opprobrium is a damm fine word, worthy of revival. People with more than two brain cells rubbing together ought rub them against an attempt at expression, once again.

Peace, Jack

[This message has been edited by ishmael (edited 01-01-2001).]

01-01-2001, 06:34 PM
Chemist, YES.

Bruce Taylor
01-01-2001, 06:56 PM
To return to serious business...does Neil Freer address the belly button question? I followed your clues, Ish, and ran aground somewhere off the coast of Mu.

01-01-2001, 07:11 PM
Hi Bruce,

Haven't the energy this evening for anything serious. Mu is yu, and yu is Mu. http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/wink.gif Makes as much sense as many; more than most.

I can't begin to explain, but I think he and Sitchen are on to something. Actually pretty sure they will be borne out, when we know better.

Oh, the details are probably wrong. Wegner saw that the continents moved long before anyone could explain how it happened. Last time I looked, it was still a bit of theoretical proposition: the hows and where abouts of continental drift.

[This message has been edited by ishmael (edited 01-01-2001).]

01-01-2001, 08:26 PM

Lazy? me? Shoot I knew what it ment before I responded. Maybe had to ask my wife, maybe not.

If ya cant wow 'em with yer briliance bury 'em in BS, I allis say.


P.S. http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif (Extras in case one aint enough)

[This message has been edited by NormMessinger (edited 01-01-2001).]

01-01-2001, 08:49 PM
hahaha I knew I would leave my impression upon this baord....too bad it was my bad spilli'n that did it. hehehehe
hay the these post makes more since..(get it? I wrote "sinces" instead of..oh well it sounded funny at the time) after last nite's "brining in a new year" get togather.
note to self: never put a drpassed out marine in a dress, and paint his fingernails, and cut his hair to read "go navy" and leave him sleeping in the back of his truck in front of the navy recruiters office...even though it is fun to do. http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif

01-01-2001, 08:51 PM
hehe I ment a drunk passed out marine...I'll let you guys in on it as soon as we find out if he's out of jail..

01-01-2001, 09:20 PM
Norm, I feel properly opprobriated.

Ah, the chance to make up words!, if we only turn to our vast, ignored, vocabulary, and embrace the fact that we haven't a clue what the words mean. Opprobriate that, why doncha. I would, but I'm never opprobriately drest.

I dislike arrogance as much as the next. When I see it in myself, I attempt to correct it.

An other side, however, is pretending to humbleness--in the face of roughness, or a general lack of intelligence--in order to fit in. Just as bad, in my opinion. Maybe worse.

A third option might be to give aid and assistance, when we see need and are able. Is that maybe the essence of humility?

Ghandi is one of my heroes, for just that humility...humility that seems so far away from my day to day existence; he always makes me wonder when I read of him, whether he could have actually been real.

Happy friggin' opprobrious new year norm. May you let go of some of the pain and fear; may I do same; each as we're able.

bob goeckel
01-02-2001, 12:57 AM
hey chemist where can i get some of that new "illegitemus non carborundum" and can i use it to sand my mahogony deck. do you use course or fine carborundum?

01-02-2001, 02:01 AM
hhhuuummm how would ship it? is it flamable? http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif
jes think, a year or so ago, I couldn't even spell shipright...now I be one.. http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif
I leave you with the wardsfrom my English teacher"if you can figure out what langauge I speak, maybe you'll learn to speak it better" (I'll show her wait till I'm the ruler of the world...you'll all learn to speak back woods red neck!!!) http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif

01-02-2001, 12:18 PM
Hey, bob, it comes from the Illegitimus, and it is very fine, of course.

bob goeckel
01-02-2001, 02:40 PM
bil, bil, bill, you still can't schpell shipwright rite! http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif

01-02-2001, 03:07 PM
but I is still be 1 doe http://media4.hypernet.com/~dick/ubb/smile.gif
..welll maybe not one yet but who knows what the future has in store..

01-02-2001, 05:56 PM
Speaking of words. Got an email recently about some contest where you take a word and change, add or drop one letter then make up a definition. My favorite was DOPELGANGEGER - the property of dumb ideas to sound smarter the faster they come at you.

B. Burnside
01-05-2001, 12:20 AM

IMHO that deserves a thread of its own!


Keith Wilson
01-05-2001, 11:37 AM
God help us, Chemist, if everyone here starts writing like Wolfe in "Of Time and the River", WB will have to buy several additional servers, and I'll never get anything done at work! Have 'em imitiate Hemingway; it's easier and shorter.

01-05-2001, 02:38 PM
Maybe so, Keith, but it was good stuff.

This place reminds me more of Dos Passos' style, sort of kaleidoscopic, with multiple simultaneus viewpoints flowing in an almost "stream-of-consciousness" with newspaper headlines and articles interspersed.

The saved fragment at the beginning of this thread is a classic example of it. Many of the threads in Miscellanous [and elsewhere] are like that, too.

Some of the posters write like Hemmingway, some like Wolfe, some as tortured souls yearning to be free, some as themselves.

Some can do simultaneous multiple personalities.

We like those.

They are tasty.

[This message has been edited by thechemist (edited 01-05-2001).]

Ken Hall
01-05-2001, 04:16 PM
Well, I can't do it with one letter (need at least two), but I remember being in a bookstore in Asheville, NC back in '84 and seeing the following, among other "unexplained sniglets of the universe"-type words, all posted by various patrons on a whiteboard maintained for the purpose:

Sharendipity: Dipping into a friend's pocket looking for money.

Sharendipity-doo-dah: Dipping into a friend's pocket looking for money and actually finding some.

Pretty little town, Asheville. Too far from the coast though. Nowadays I prefer the Outer Banks.


[This message has been edited by SelfSinkingFlatiron (edited 01-05-2001).]

01-05-2001, 09:07 PM
hay give me a hollor when you get out this way again, maybe we can split case spirits, or sacrafice a glass boat or som'n to that effect.

On Vacation
02-12-2004, 11:01 AM
Oh for the simple things in life.... :D

The Bigfella
04-02-2016, 01:15 AM
bump time

04-02-2016, 02:30 AM

04-02-2016, 04:44 AM
Wow indeed, there are some names there alright.
I still miss Norm, his was the first reply to my first post upstairs regarding Macgreggor canoes.

Bruce Taylor
04-02-2016, 07:20 AM
I remember the Cat's Bellybutton thread. Classic Ish, classic Rosen. :D It got a bit boisterous, by the tame standards of the time, and Jack deleted it (though Chem resurrected this bit). I was lofting my first boat at the time...ah, memories. :D

04-02-2016, 07:33 AM
jeffery! Whatever happened to him? How could I have forgotten jeffery?

jack grebe
04-02-2016, 07:50 AM
jeffery! Whatever happened to him? How could I have forgotten jeffery?

And Leggett, I firmly believe that he was the original Dutch.

jack grebe
04-02-2016, 07:56 AM
bump time

Hmmmm, a bump weekend sounds good. :-)

John B
04-02-2016, 03:05 PM
And Leggett, I firmly believe that he was the original Dutch.
I used his name on one the current troll threads only last week.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
04-02-2016, 03:19 PM
A pedant writes:

Act 5 Scene 1:

How long will a man lie i' the earth ere he rot?

First Clown
I' faith, if he be not rotten before he die--as we
have many pocky corses now-a-days, that will scarce
hold the laying in--he will last you some eight year
or nine year: a tanner will last you nine year.

Why he more than another?

First Clown
Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his trade, that
he will keep out water a great while; and your water
is a sore decayer of your whoreson dead body.
Here's a skull now; this skull has lain in the earth
three and twenty years.

Whose was it?

First Clown
A whoreson mad fellow's it was: whose do you think it was?

Nay, I know not.

First Clown
A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a' poured a
flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull,
sir, was Yorick's skull, the king's jester.


First Clown
E'en that.

Let me see.
Takes the skull
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell
me one thing.

What's that, my lord?

Dost thou think Alexander looked o' this fashion i'
the earth?

E'en so.

And smelt so? pah!
Puts down the skull

E'en so, my lord.

To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may
not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander,
till he find it stopping a bung-hole?

'Twere to consider too curiously, to consider so.

No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither with
modesty enough, and likelihood to lead it: as
thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried,
Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of
earth we make loam; and why of that loam, whereto he
was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel?
Imperious Caesar, dead and turn'd to clay,
Might stop a hole to keep the wind away:
O, that that earth, which kept the world in awe,
Should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw!
But soft! but soft! aside: here comes the king.
Enter Priest, & c. in procession; the Corpse of OPHELIA, LAERTES and Mourners following; KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, their trains, & c
The queen, the courtiers: who is this they follow?


It isn't "I knew him well..." any more than it's "Romeo, Romeo, where are you Romeo?"

04-02-2016, 03:26 PM
The bard certainly had a way with words, one of my grandmothers, born in Boston, toured America pre WW1 in a Shakespearian company and could quote whole plays by heart.