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Memphis Mike
07-17-2004, 10:08 AM
Since Jeff killed a delightful thread last night for reasons unknown to me, I'm going to start another one.

Here's one of my favorite: {and also a bumper sticker}

"The Road To Hell Is Paved With Republicans"

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
07-17-2004, 10:51 AM
I used to care, but now, I take a pill for that. :D

Steve McMahon
07-17-2004, 10:52 AM
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

imported_Dutch
07-17-2004, 10:57 AM
I'm NOT Barry.

SC-Lion
07-17-2004, 11:04 AM
"Come back when you're on time"

Said to someone who's late.

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
07-17-2004, 11:18 AM
A quote by SWMBO....." Men mature at 12 years old, they just get taller after that." :eek: :D

Phil Eves
07-17-2004, 12:13 PM
"Tits are for kids....and baby men?

Wild Dingo
07-17-2004, 12:26 PM
Its not witty and its not funny but its one Ive used for ages now and it works

Positive action produces positive results :cool:

and

Smile... no one can stay angry in the face of a smile :D

Venchka
07-17-2004, 01:51 PM
"No matter where you go, there you are."

And one most appropriate for folks around this forum, if a bit long.


A man who is not afraid of the sea will soon be drowned, for he'll be
going out on a day when he shouldn't. But we do be afraid of the sea, and
we do only be drownded now and again.

from 'The Arran Islands' by J M Synge.Wayne
Very afraid of the sea in the Swamp.

alteran
07-17-2004, 01:58 PM
Here you go MMike,

"He doesn't have enough sense to know he has no sense."

Al.

paladin
07-17-2004, 02:32 PM
"It's close enough for government work!" :D :D

Hal Forsen
07-17-2004, 03:17 PM
A fartin' horse never tires; a fartin' man is the man to hire.

Phil Eves
07-17-2004, 05:08 PM
He/She has more degrees than a thermometer, but is still too stupid to blow on hot soup!

imported_Daniel
07-17-2004, 06:33 PM
Well, nobody is going to die, and the sun will rise again tomorrow.

RGM
07-17-2004, 06:51 PM
Here's a couple that come to mind:
"Credit makes enemies, so lets be friends".

"Never argue with an idiot, they don't know when they've lost".

This one is especially pertinent to wood boat work.
"Success is in the details".

That's all for now so,
"Keep your cotton dry".

[ 07-17-2004, 08:21 PM: Message edited by: RGM ]

paladin
07-17-2004, 07:04 PM
Yup...Dave....and one of the reasons I left a major contractors work force. They kept padding the number of people on the project, padding hours...and billing two dudes with master's degrees and one PhD who NEVER did the work but kept adding time to the project when in reality they were out soliciting new business...I saw too much of that crap on my very first...and last...job in commercial industry... :(

Ken Hutchins
07-17-2004, 07:06 PM
Tis better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Del Lansing
07-17-2004, 07:34 PM
Hmmm, if this keeps up we could get some weather!

imported_Dutch
07-17-2004, 07:56 PM
ROFLMAO :D :D :D

seafox
07-17-2004, 09:46 PM
mom was a maturnity nurse a couple of her saying were;
in reguards to large bosumed women " thats enought to make a baby hungry"

and generally
" more than a mouth full is a waste"

dad when asked how hes doing would reply "I was doing great till I got up this morning and havn't been worth a dam since"
jeffery

N. Scheuer
07-18-2004, 07:56 AM
"He hasn't got sense enough to pound sand into a rat hole!"

My father (and Paul's, another frequent WBF poster) used to say that often when witnessing a stupid or obstinate act by someone.

We burried him last week. George was 99, and had lived a very full life. He inculcated a love of sailboats in all four sons.

Moby Nick

N. Scheuer
07-18-2004, 08:04 AM
Hey, seafox! Your Mother's second observation brings back memories!

A "Man-of-the-world-ex-U.S.Navy-sailor" I worked for while in college once observed that about a woman who walked by his Ice Cream Shop (I sold Ice Cream out of one of his junk Studebaker which had a junk refigerator lying on its back where the back seat used to be).

I later quoted him on a date, and the woman married me.

Moby Nick

imported_Dutch
07-18-2004, 08:11 AM
Looks like Scot cleaned up some of the Oysters handiwork. ;) :D

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
07-18-2004, 08:17 AM
Some people are alive, only because, it's against the law to kill them. :eek: :D

Memphis Mike
07-18-2004, 08:42 AM
:D

blacksmith
07-18-2004, 08:52 AM
My mother's wisdom;

Lazy men always work harder.

imported_Dutch
07-18-2004, 11:54 AM
Granpa used ta say.. I have a size 34 waist, but 36 feels so good I wear a 38. :D

htom
07-18-2004, 12:34 PM
Just saw this on a t-shirt this morning: "The Second Amendment -- America's original Homeland Security"

DavidF
07-18-2004, 02:07 PM
From Whitman:
"The untold want of life but ne'er granted.
Now, voyager, sail thou forth to seek and find."
Not witty or cute, but still true.

And the mantra of my cynicism:
"One does not go to the edge of the Rubicon to fish."

jlapratt
07-18-2004, 03:01 PM
Its like having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

RGM
07-18-2004, 03:11 PM
I forgot one:
"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel"

ken mcclure
07-18-2004, 04:56 PM
Knowing where you're going is not the same as knowing how to get there.

Knowing what needs to be done is not the same as knowing what to do next.

huisjen
07-18-2004, 05:19 PM
"When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro."

(Happy Birthday Mr. Hunter S. Thompson.)

And then there's "Well Blow Me..." --Popeye the Sailor.

Dan

Stiletto
07-18-2004, 06:05 PM
'A borrowed saw cuts anything'.

Captain Pre-Capsize
07-18-2004, 06:33 PM
"The dangers in life are infinite, and safety is among them."

Goethe

Hal Forsen
07-18-2004, 10:03 PM
Work smarter not harder.
HF

Dennis Marshall
07-18-2004, 10:34 PM
"To study without thinking is futile. To think without studying is dangerous." Confucius

Pernicious Atavist
07-18-2004, 10:42 PM
This one occured to me one night while I was writing my story "The Cauldron" in a local waterside bar.

Having become a notable prescence, I reckon every bar needs a writer taking up space in it, a fellow patron came over to chat.

In walks this blonde and by golly, what a babe. All looks and little brain function. Being somewhat cynical and not too impressed by looks alone, my only response to his ogling was: "Yeah, shes' a looker by damn, but she's (here it comes) as shallow as the glint on a windshield."

Okay, that's it...carry on....

Ed :cool:

Mrleft8
07-18-2004, 10:45 PM
"It's non-negotiable! I'm FIT and SEXY!"

Pernicious Atavist
07-18-2004, 10:49 PM
Oh! Another I heard as a GI.

"You should ensure your people smell of liquor. That way the old man will think thy're drunk and not just stupid."

doorstop
07-19-2004, 04:28 AM
My grandmother to my rapidly balding father, "Bob, why don't you grow a beard and pull yer head in?"

Foster Price
07-19-2004, 06:06 AM
"Anyone who calls you a fool has seen a few"

Cheers - Foster

Boomkin Joe
07-19-2004, 09:01 AM
My in-law is so conservative he rides his H-bomb upside down.

brad9798
07-19-2004, 09:07 AM
Wish in one hand, and crap in the other- See which one fills up first.

Do what you love, the money will follow.

Wild Wassa
07-19-2004, 09:39 AM
Tell me about your book.

Warren.

[ 07-19-2004, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: Wild Wassa ]

Lone Star
07-19-2004, 10:11 AM
"Of all my wife's relatives... I like myself the best".

Alan D. Hyde
07-19-2004, 11:32 AM
"Find a way or make a way." Adm. Robt. E. Peary

Alan

Mark Van
07-19-2004, 12:02 PM
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.

km gresham
07-19-2004, 12:20 PM
"You can't take it with you." God. (If he didn't say it he should have!) ;)

Puts the "wants" in perspective. smile.gif

Noah
07-19-2004, 12:53 PM
"Close only counts in horseshoes and hand granades"

Matt J.
07-19-2004, 01:07 PM
[Screw] 'em if they can't take a joke.

Hughman
07-19-2004, 02:35 PM
A lie is halfway around the world before the truth gets its pants on. Mark Twain

Alan D. Hyde
07-19-2004, 02:54 PM
Hughman, IIRC, that was Winston S. Churchill's comment.

Churchill was intoduced by Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain) on one of his first speaking tours of the U.S.

The famous humorist made a remark on that occasion, which I cannot now recollect...

Alan

Ross M
07-19-2004, 02:56 PM
Hughman's Twain is my favorite, but dear old dad has a few:

"(He/She) could talk a dog off a gut wagon"

"Talk is cheap - it takes money to buy whiskey"

[ 07-19-2004, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: Ross McDonough ]

mmd
07-19-2004, 03:13 PM
Keep your words soft and sweet. You never know when you are going to have to eat them.

imported_Dutch
07-19-2004, 03:15 PM
Gotta go! gotta go! gotta go!

Meerkat
07-19-2004, 03:18 PM
said the cannibal to the explorer: You tough guy - me cook you long time! ;)

Andrew Craig-Bennett
07-19-2004, 06:02 PM
"Cross the river before reviling the crocodile's mother" quoted by HW Tilman, who claimed the original version is in Swahili.

capnharv
07-20-2004, 12:50 AM
Here's one I heard a while back. . .

There are 3 kinds of people in this world:

- Those that make things happen ;)

- Those who watch things happen :eek:

And

- Those who wonder "what happened?" :confused:

Harvey

TimH
07-20-2004, 01:12 AM
There is nothing half so much worth doing, as simply messing about in boats...
smile.gif or something like that. From "The Wind in the Willows"

Phil Young
07-20-2004, 02:46 AM
A few words on people managment-

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

You're either on the bus, or under the bus.

And one that I would like to attribute to my boss, except she's not that smart- When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds soon follow.

And on another topic entirely-

Bacon and Eggs-A days work for the chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.

imported_Dutch
07-20-2004, 08:19 AM
Nausea heartburn indigestion upset stomach diarhea!

Willin'
07-20-2004, 08:48 AM
Negative expectations yield negative results.

Positive expectations yield negative results.

Garrett Lowell
07-20-2004, 08:54 AM
Some great ones on here!
Albert Einstein has some of the best quotes.

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." --Albert Einstein

This from Mark Twain:

"God puts something good and lovable in every man His hands create."

km gresham
07-20-2004, 09:14 AM
Many hands make light work. smile.gif

TimH
07-20-2004, 09:45 AM
"When we build, let us think that we build forever. Let it not be for present delight nor present use alone. Let it be such work as our descendants will thank us for; and let us think, as we lay stone on stone, that a time is to come when those stones will be held sacred because our hands have touched them, and that men will say, as they look back upon the labor and wrought substance of them,
'See! This our father did for us'"
- John Ruskin

Bob Adams
07-20-2004, 09:52 AM
"No good deed goes unpunished."

paladin
07-20-2004, 10:12 AM
Noah...
Close only counts with horseshoes, hand grenades, A bombs....and shotguns at close range....

Keith Wilson
07-20-2004, 10:23 AM
"For a sucessful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled."

Richard Feynmann, the last sentence of his addendum to the report on the Challenger explosion. I've had this quote up on the wall in my office for many years.

ken mcclure
07-20-2004, 10:26 AM
"I ain't got time to bleed."

mmd
07-20-2004, 11:09 AM
Quality is like oats. If you want good oats, you have to pay a fair price. If, however, you are willing to settle for oats that have already been through the horse, they cost a bit less.

Good enough is not good enough.

Perfection is not an ideal, it is the target.

[ 07-20-2004, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: mmd ]

Memphis Mike
07-20-2004, 03:29 PM
New bumper sticker seen today:

"Vote the Son of a Bush Out"

[ 07-20-2004, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: Memphis Mike ]

Don Olney
07-20-2004, 03:39 PM
Originally posted by Alan D. Hyde:

The famous humorist made a remark on that occasion, which I cannot now recollect...
Alan, Maybe I can help jog your memory. Do you remember where you heard them speak that day? :D

blacksmith
07-20-2004, 03:49 PM
Henry Ford....

Good enough is sufficent,anything more is likely to be wasteful.

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
07-20-2004, 04:19 PM
" If they really want to win the war on drugs, they'll have to improve reality."

and....."Five pounds of crap in a two pound bag."

Peter Kalshoven
07-20-2004, 05:30 PM
Some gems from Albert Einstein:

Knowledge and ego are directly related. the less knowledge, the greater the ego

If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
07-20-2004, 05:41 PM
I finally found my favourite:

"It is a commonplace, that we cannot answer for ourselves before we have been tried. But it is not so common a reflection, and surely more consoling, that we usually find ourselves a great deal braver and better than we thought. I believe this is every one's experience: but an apprehension that they may belie themselves in the future prevents mankind from trumpeting this cheerful sentiment abroad. I wish sincerely, for it would have saved me much trouble, there had been some one to put me in a good heart about life when I was younger; to tell me how dangers are most portentous on a distant sight; and how the good in a man's spirit will not suffer itself to be overlaid, and rarely or never deserts him in the hour of need."

Robert Louis Stevenson, he of Treasure Island, Kidnapped, etc, here describing setting off in a sailing canoe on the Scheldt, which makes it seem all the more appropriate.

shamus
07-20-2004, 06:24 PM
On a tombstone:

I told you I was sick.

George Jung
07-20-2004, 07:43 PM
"You can't make people be smart"

- my dad

I heard that a lot when I was a teen; don't recall who he was talking about....

DavidF
07-20-2004, 08:01 PM
From my granpa:
"It's hell to grow old."
He started saying at 65 and made it hale and hearty to 83 when a hospital mismedicated him and he said goodbye at 86.

Peter Kalshoven
07-21-2004, 06:36 AM
When I was a soccer coach, it seemed like every year I got one kid with very few skills, but blazing speed. I'd put the kid on the wing, and teach them how to attack. There was ALWAYS a parent of a slow kid with good skills, who would challenge me on starting the fast kid over their kid. My answer was always the same:

"I can teach 'em most of this stuff. I can't teach speed."

cs
07-21-2004, 06:51 AM
"A journy of a thousand miles starts with one step"

"If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch"

Chad

huisjen
07-21-2004, 07:36 AM
I once heard a Marine Corps General say, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, but you can stick his head underwater and suck on his ass."

Dan

Garrett Lowell
07-21-2004, 08:31 AM
Where were you when you heard this Marine General say that?

"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. "

[ 07-21-2004, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: Garrett Lowell ]

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
07-21-2004, 08:25 PM
"I taught him everything he knows and he still don't know nothing"

seafox
07-21-2004, 09:13 PM
two political sayings

if your not a liberal at abe 20 you have no heart
if your not a conservite at age 40 you have no brain.

for those who have faught for it the taste of freedom has a flavor unknown to those who have not

favorite twain;
on being naked
so we are all, the day we're born but we get modest as we grow though only in spots... its just as well I guess Naked people have little or no import in society.

and from a dan parkinson novel
he watched goverment like a man in a small cabin watches a rattle snake curled in the middle of the floor between him and the door, and for aproxamately the same reason.
jeffery

formerlyknownasprince
07-22-2004, 06:45 AM
On a tombstone:

I told you I was sick. That wasn't on a tombstone, that was on SPIKE MILLIGAN's "tombstone" :D