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Rex Fearnehough
03-10-2003, 02:19 PM
Malvolio: A disagreeable, angry, pompous and self-important, little man in Shakespeare's 12th Night.
He was a bully who got his come-uppance.

Bullies can be hard to categorise. A bully may be outgoing and aggressive, the kind of person who gets his way through force or obvious teasing. On the other hand, a bully can appear pretty reserved on the surface, but may try to manipulate people in more subtle, deceptive ways, like anonymously starting a damaging rumor about someone just to see what happens. Many bullies, though, share some common characteristics. They are generally focused on themselves and finding ways to seek pleasure. They are often insecure and therefore they may put other people down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful. For them, it may be particularly difficult to see things from someone else's point of view. And some bullies act the way they do because they've been hurt by bullies in the past or because another person in their lives - like a parent or other family member - has abused them in some way.

How do you, deal with bullies?

[ 03-10-2003, 02:20 PM: Message edited by: Rex Fearnehough ]

Rex Fearnehough
03-10-2003, 02:56 PM
Suicide is not a good cure Donn. :eek:

swamp_yankee
03-10-2003, 03:26 PM
There are only 2 possible responses, IMO:
1) Stand up to them
2) Allow yourself to be bullied.

:rolleyes:

Joe (SoCal)
03-10-2003, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by Rex Fearnehough:
Suicide is not a good cure Donn. :eek: :D :D Donn your gonna have to work hard battling Rex wit. Your quick Rex and you are too funny :D :D

[ 03-10-2003, 03:42 PM: Message edited by: Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ) ]

Rex Fearnehough
03-10-2003, 04:02 PM
Tyrone, #1. Isn't always possible.
I saw a beautiful example of the retaliation technique last week in the kids playground here.
The kids know that I hate bullies so I wouldn't let any harm come to them.
We have a kid of about 13yrs old who is a bully and he was mercilessly picking on a younger girl.
She was in tears and she looked at me, I just nodded and smiled. She turned to the boy and gave him a massive kick in the gronicles, he dropped like a stone. The girl turned to me and shouted," Is that alright Rex."
I just bust up with laughter and went to help the boy.
She is now a heroine.
:eek: :eek:

mmd
03-10-2003, 04:05 PM
Damn, I gotta get a splatter shield.

Meerkat
03-10-2003, 04:10 PM
http://opkikkertje.nl/smilies/lachen/whoea.gif

Wild Wassa
03-10-2003, 04:16 PM
I'm an 'Auntie', maybe I need to kick a little runt in the nuts.

Warren.

ps, Could I then be a heroine, Uncle Rex ?

[ 03-10-2003, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Wild Wassa ]

swamp_yankee
03-10-2003, 04:17 PM
Originally posted by Rex Fearnehough:
Tyrone, #1. Isn't always possible.
You needn't always sink to their level and respond in kind.

Sometimes aggression is best countered with wit.

...of course, "living well is the best revenge." :D

NormMessinger
03-10-2003, 04:22 PM
Some times a girl has to do what a girl has to do!

smile.gif

Rex Fearnehough
03-10-2003, 04:39 PM
You're a heroine to me already Warren. :D

only humor!

Rocky
03-10-2003, 04:44 PM
What in the world is an 870 Marine Magnum?

whb
03-10-2003, 04:51 PM
Rex

A lot of the recent studies have shown that many bullies have very high self esteem and see themselves as worthy of a position of power.

Therefore, the old cure of being nice to them because they were actually miserable just played into there own hands.

The schools here are starting to take a very aggressive anti-bullying stance and are teaching the children that they do not have a right to bully and more importantly that they don't have to take it. I think your little Heroine has it right I think

Howard

Rex Fearnehough
03-10-2003, 04:59 PM
I'll pass the pictures on to the kids, but definitely not the girl.
She's tasted blood.
http://www.chourave.ch/boop/gif/boosing.gif

Scott Rosen
03-10-2003, 05:29 PM
Donn, is it legal to carry one of those on your boat in New York? Nice gun.

Bullies look for the easiest and weakest targets. You don't have to be able to beat the bully up; you only have to stand up to him/her enough so that the bully will go find an easier target. Sometimes you have to get violent, like in the schoolyard. Othertimes you do it with words and assertive actions, like in the workplace.

Rocky
03-10-2003, 05:46 PM
Nice, Donn! I'll see if I can get my brother the gun nut to get one. He's target shooting 50 calibers these days, says it's a big thrill to hit a target you can't even see with the naked eye! Speaking of gun nuts, anyone read
"Unintended Consequences"?

imported_Daniel
03-10-2003, 05:59 PM
I have never met a bully who did not back down when confronted. Basically they are cowards. Good for the girl to kick him in the gronicles!! :D

Rex Fearnehough
03-10-2003, 06:03 PM
Lookit. Lookit.
A http://www.chourave.ch/boop/gif/boogown.gif thread about bullying and the big guns come out.
This site with Betty Boop is good it plays Maxine Sullivan with "St. Louis Blues."

garland reese
03-10-2003, 07:43 PM
Daniel, I've met a few bullies that'd give a body a good ol' country thumpin' when confronted.......sometimes just fer fun. Probably right that the majority are just all show though.

Had a small young jerkwad harrass my 13 year old daughter last week at school. Had a conference with the counselor and principal this A.M. We shall see how it goes. What this kid did was inexcuseable. I was nice.........this time.

winslow
03-10-2003, 08:50 PM
The physical bully usually is the easiest to cope with. The threats and/or violence are generally clearly understood and a response can be equally simple. See T Rex's playground heroine.

It's the other kind of bully, the one who attempts "to manipulate people in more subtle, deceptive ways" who is truly dangerous and extremely difficult to isolate and neutralize.

In an interesting and frustrating example, I know a 'bully' who for years has manipulated others to serve her interests and occasionally just to humiliate. Challenging her actions and motivations revealed she can't (doesn't?) differentiate between the concepts of 'integrity' and 'ego.' In her mind, any action that serves her interests is justified. Any action that does not serve her interests is "compromising her integrity." The unpleasant consequences experienced by others are often intended and, as was explained to me, never regretted. Additionally it was explained that "being sorry for" something she has made a conscious decision to do would also "compromise her integrity."

Troubling & unfortunate, but interesting.

I have no special knowledge in this area, but I suspect this person is some sort of sociopath.

Gresham CA
03-10-2003, 09:06 PM
Hey Donn, I've got stud swivels too (or so my wife says). No wait, that was swivel studs. You'll have to excuse my lessdicksia.

PatCox
03-10-2003, 10:19 PM
Rex, I attracted bullies as a boy, my parents moved a lot, its almost like I was a military brat, except without the benefit of being a military brat, going to schools with other military brats who would understand. I was always the new kid, and I was a big kid, and that always eggs the bullies on, they like to test themselves against the new, big kid.

I found one tactic that worked; always, alway call their bluff. Bullies are all bluster and bluff, all intimidation, if the intimidation doesn't work, they run half the time, and even if they don't, they won't fight you more than once even if they beat you, so long as you never back down.

Donn, thats some big gun you have there, I always have thought that the gun is what makes the man. Not character or toughness or bravery or magnanimity or intelligence, nope, a real man is a man who can go buy a bigass gun. Boy, you sure are a real man, you have a bigass gun, and in case the kind of people who are impressed by that have trouble with the reading thing, you are thoughtful enough to post a photogragh of the gun that makes you a tough big man. Thats kind of you, even stan will understand what a badass you are now.

,

PatCox
03-10-2003, 10:23 PM
swamp yankee, have you ever noticed that the stupid ones have a mortal fear of wit, and especially sarcasm, they get that panic in their eyes when someone is sarcastic, they are son confused, And sometimes they try it themselves, god there is no more pitiful sight than a stupid man attempting to be sarcastic.

Rocky
03-10-2003, 10:30 PM
Oh cmon, Pat, put your treehugger liberal self to bed for a minute and look at it as an element of design. How can anyone who appreciates a good boat not appreciate a nice gun?

Mrleft8
03-10-2003, 10:51 PM
Dealing with bullies is easy,now that I'm old(er). I either ignore them, or let them embarrass themselves... BUT.... As a child, I was tormented by them. I found that the best way to keep from being beat up, was to make the bully laugh... I developed a sick sense of humor that kept me fairly free of bruises.....

PatCox
03-10-2003, 10:55 PM
Well Peter, I don't ever want to sound like a badass because I'm not, and it attracts bullies anyway, but thats kinda what I meant by "call their bluff," I meant "hit them first." No waiting, no warning, someone threatens, pop them, immediately. My father gave me one good peice of advice, he said fighting isn't for fun or amusement, and if someone forces you into it, you beat them because its your life, they could hit you lucky and you fall and crack your skull. He said to me, pat, don't kick them in the balls or hit them in the balls, its too easy to miss, you reach down and grab them and twist and do not let go. And it worked every time. Thank god not since college, though, the great thing is you get older and wiser and you can spot a bully a mile away and just avoid the idiots.

Leon m
03-10-2003, 11:55 PM
Originally posted by PatCox:
just avoid the idiots.I agree!

[ 03-11-2003, 12:14 AM: Message edited by: Leon m ]

Rocky
03-11-2003, 12:13 AM
Surprising how fast bullies shut up when you hit them with a chairhttp://smilies.networkessence.net/s/contrib/ruinkai/yelcutelaughA.gif

[ 03-11-2003, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: Rocky ]

Wild Dingo
03-11-2003, 02:17 AM
As a short wheel base me whole lifetime {5'6 1/2" in me boots}... I was and have often been the object of many a bullies desire to "prove themselves" to their mates... and in the circles I moved booze 9 times out of 10 bought out the biggest of the so called "provers"

About 18 I was constantly bein laid out by a particular mongrel and then met up with a mad skinny Welshman named Brynmore Roberts... and the one bit of street fight teaching he offered was "Shane yer dumb dingo yer gotta go in fast low and hard everytime... your small and quick so get in do the work finish it and walk away... find the easiliest accessable weakest point on anyone and destroy it as fast as you can dont stop until they are no longer a threat"...

Bryn was a tall lanky fella skinny as a bean pole a mean drunk ex biker and rough as guts but a great fella... his method of fighting for any reason was a peice of bike chain 4X2 or steel pipe upside their head... put them down fast and hard enough that they stay down... with me he taught me the most "precious" spot on a man is his gronicles and throat...

Sooo hit hard straight in the nuts grab squeeze as hard as possible and turn and keep turning {its always been a help having quite long thumb nails which tend to rip} meanwhile grasping the throat and squeezing... I honestly cant recall a time it didnt work and... Ive been fight free for 16 years now :cool:

No bully has been attracted since a fella about Donns size and build had a go in the wet mess of a mining camp and well to say I had 6 kids and hes had none since sorta puts true meaning to how hard and determined one can be when the bastard is twice your size and you are determined to finish it!... mmmm then again the reason coulda been he was not interested in havin any more kids as they already had 3 but anyway the guy never gave me a spot of trouble for the next 12 months I worked there and was actually a good mate in the end. :cool:

I learnt that rare is the man who can keep their ****e together after youve got them barrelled against a wall holding twisting and squeezing those two spots that can actually do anything other than squeel "Muummmmmmmmmie!!".. think they can thump you over the head? across the back? no theyre too concerned that their precious family jewels are gonna be fed to them if they can breathe enough to think that far...

But as for written bullies or random acts of bullism such as have shown occasionally on the forum? me I try to ignore them if not then calmly say my peice then walk away cant get to their gronicles through the screen can we?? :rolleyes: Not that there havent been times Ive flamin well tried!!! :mad: Just doesnt work is all..

Im not a violent person at all... preference is to walk away but there comes a time when you cant walk away so you just do the above... when its over and you stand to the bar again buy yourself a beer then buy the one in pain one as well... and you end up best of mates every time! :cool:

Well thats been my experience anyways :rolleyes:

But humor can at times work too... I mean its a bit flamin hard to snot someone when they and you are bent over laughin isnt it!! :D

[ 03-11-2003, 02:29 AM: Message edited by: Wild Dingo ]

Wild Wassa
03-11-2003, 03:44 AM
Don't play their game, because if you start to play their game they win. They are experts at their own game. Who is the bully send him over.

If you are being bullied play your own game. This involves taking two steps back form the situation emotionally. View the bully as pathetic and insecure. Don't take anything that they say personally. Immediately that empowers you. You can then decide to pick a range of strategies, personally I like humour. Although I broke this rule with a forumite. I think it was called for then.

Or agree with them by being sarcastic. Ignore them, or bombard them with facts.

Never allow youself to be alone with them, or don't have witnesses. Play it cool

Mentally shrink the bully to a tiny object then stamp on them.

Often it is not so straight up as this, especially if it is a person in your group of friends. Seek out your real friends.

My wife is working as a school counsellor, Helen told me a little dity.

"I'm made of rubber, your made of glue.
The things you say bounce of me and stick on you."

The concept is worth knowing, although I prefer to sink to their level. Then I usually ask the question who is the bully here, ;) .

Warren.

[ 03-11-2003, 03:48 AM: Message edited by: Wild Wassa ]

Gresham CA
03-11-2003, 07:21 AM
Pat and Peter,
Y'all sound like you could be President Bush. Step back and read what you've said. Stan would be proud, I know I am.

Cap'n R an R
03-11-2003, 07:56 AM
Donn....we keep loaded shot guns under our bed ....port and starboard....one of them is a Winchester...and I'm reading right from the barrel....model 1300 stainless marine 12 ga. 2 3/4 & 3" made in New Haven . Conn. U.S.A. Winchester proof Stainless steel......it's a heavy mother....we kept it on the boat when we were sailing Florida waters....also had it loaded with shark slugs at that time.....do you know anything about this model.....I bought it when there were riots in Miami just prior to Super Bowl some years ago....have yet to use it ..fortunatly....

swamp_yankee
03-11-2003, 08:17 AM
Originally posted by PatCox:
swamp yankee, have you ever noticed that the stupid ones have a mortal fear of wit, and especially sarcasm, they get that panic in their eyes when someone is sarcastic, they are son confused, And sometimes they try it themselves, god there is no more pitiful sight than a stupid man attempting to be sarcastic.Heck yeah, that's where the fun part is! :D
I have a bit of a reputation for having a sharp tongue. What really bring it out is passive aggressiveness. I get a lot of that in the Midwest and it just flips my mean switch.

Cap'n R an R
03-11-2003, 08:19 AM
Thanks Donn....wont be going Bear hunting soon....but did mucho years ago...in Maine in August...way up near the Canadian border....Jackman station....you were required to have a guide in those days...we had a French Canadian ..mostly toothless grining character....we got one shot at a great distance...and missed....the one thing I remember most was this guide, when we camped out at night, ....put salt pork in the coffee!!!....I'll never forget that one....

Wild Dingo
03-11-2003, 08:21 AM
aahhh well see Donn theres no proof for me to show you just how effective it is is there? :D ...If you want proof ...eeerr try it on a bully?... But then Ive not had to use it often but believe me in my experience such as it is... it works... Ive never known a bully to keep coming after bein baled up the way I described

As for your statement...
My guess is that neither of you have ever been in a real fight.Well what you "guess" and what Ive experienced in life are at odds I guess... and the thing is Donn Im not about to try to explain some of those situations to you Im not interested in what happened or the fights Ive been in...

My only reason for posting that above was to say that "this worked from my experience" as one who had been bullied in response to the question as asked by Rex. :rolleyes:

Personally I dont much care if you "guess" that in your "guess" Id never been in a fight... its irrelevent what you "guess" mate... fact is you have no idea so "guess" on.

Maybe you feel you "need" the big gun ****e as you posted?... I mean come on piss in the other pocket mate! Like you get in a fight and whip out yer Remington 870 Marine Magnum smokin gun??... yeah right Donn :rolleyes: ...A fella your size and supposed capabilities and experiences shouldnt need any weapon... Personally Ive never needed anything but those actions above... get in quick put them down as fast and hard as you can and make them ineffectual and walk on... its quite simple really

So yer sayin the way you handle a bully in life is to whip out that big "Remington 870 Marine Magnum" and blow em away?? ... So your in a bar and some big bully boy of any discription decides to snot you and heads toward your direction and your gonna what??... oh right "Hang on a tic sport I just gotta whip out me "Remington 870 Marine Magnum"... pull this one it sings dixie! :D :D

No what I expect you to do based on our combined knowledge of each other over the time weve conversed here... would be for you to stand up and put the bastard down as fast and use the skills you know will put them on the deck in the most effective way you know how!... ****e! the "Remington 870 Marine Magnum" doesnt enter the thought process... why? well gee Donn could have somethin to do with the fact that you dont carry it around with you!! ****e! :rolleyes:

HA! sometimes you talk such utter flamin wombat crap Donn... but what the hell I like yer anyways! :D

swamp_yankee
03-11-2003, 08:21 AM
Originally posted by PatCox:
Well Peter, I don't ever want to sound like a badass because I'm not, ...Pat, do you find people mentally subtracting IQ points from you because you're big (& a bit aggressive)? It's kind of fun. They let their guard down a bit mentally...

Best advice I ever got was "If you throw the first punch you'd better land the second!"

huisjen
03-11-2003, 08:25 AM
Point and laugh. And think of Cool Hand Luke. ;)

Dan

Chris Coose
03-11-2003, 08:47 AM
garland,
My son was getting his ass kicked around his new school in his freshman year.
I attended a number of conferences to identify the problem with lousy results. This was about 8 years ago and the school tended to defend itself to a degree which made me unhappier, while the bully continued to have his way.
I took notes, wrote a letter of intent to sue the superintendant and took out a restraining order on the perp.

The best end result was that my boy was pleased that I took some action.

The bully I see today, I'll do what I can to see him removed from his power base by voting somebody else into his spot.

If a person looks carefully, there are ways to turn their lousiness against them. Violence is out of the question because it reduces the playing field to their level, a place where they may feel most comfortable.

Boyd
03-11-2003, 09:55 AM
Learning good self defence techniques is a great way to stop the problem. Best part about them is the confidence that the training gives you means that you will never need to use the skill. Look for very practical training such as boxing or Combat Ju-Jitsu. The Ju-Jitsu that I took is the closest thing to street fighting that you will get other then the real thing.

Bruce Hooke
03-11-2003, 11:39 AM
Well, I don't want to sound holier-than-thou but I do think it's worth remembering the recent situation in Michigan. I don't know the details but apparently, a number of years ago, there was a schoolyard fight. One student landed a single punch to the other kid's face. The kid he hit went down, broke is neck and went into a coma. After a number of years in a coma he recently died. The kid who landed that single punch is now facing manslaughter charges (or something along those lines) and most likely many of his best years in prison. I don't know who started the fight in that case but I'm not sure how much in really matters. Sure you are entitled to self-defense, but from what I've seen the law takes a pretty dim view of punching and hitting as self-defense, when running away is a viable option. And, sure, this sort of result from one punch is pretty rare, but it can happen, and even much more minor injuries can put you in court, in debt, and in prison...

Wild Dingo
03-11-2003, 12:37 PM
Originally posted by Donn:
Dingo...never say in 10 words, what you can say in 200...right? :D Well Donn Ive found that at times one has to carefully explain what one means so it sinks in to the readers mush in their noggin :D ... trouble is then the reader has trouble digesting to many words... and ergo one gets comments like that :rolleyes: ... ahhh well nothing new from the Donn eh? tongue.gif

I doubt very much yours or anyones ability to do anything other than cringe with your nuts being crushed and your windpipe getting the same treatment

Is that succinct enough for you to digest? ;)

[ 03-11-2003, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: Wild Dingo ]

Barry
03-11-2003, 01:10 PM
Swampyankee wrote: "I get a lot of that in the Midwest and it just flips my mean switch."

There's a switch? How come I've never seen it off?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swampyankee wrote::There are only 2 possible responses, IMO:
1) Stand up to them"

Yeah, like that Brownie troop that time in Somerville.
You really walloped them!
Actually it was horrible, HORRIBLE!
There were colored wooden beads and cookies every where.
But they had it coming.

Barry

swamp_yankee
03-11-2003, 01:32 PM
Originally posted by Barry:
Swampyankee wrote: "I get a lot of that in the Midwest and it just flips my mean switch."

There's a switch? How come I've never seen it off?
:D I stuck a penny in that fuse years ago!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Swampyankee wrote::There are only 2 possible responses, IMO:
1) Stand up to them"

Yeah, like that Brownie troop that time in Somerville.
You really walloped them!
Actually it was horrible, HORRIBLE!
There were colored wooden beads and cookies every where.
But they had it coming.

BarryYeah, and those girls were big for their age!

Rex Fearnehough
03-11-2003, 03:09 PM
I haven't forgotten this thread I'm following it very closely.
I am surprised though how a post about bullying can bring out the bulies.
You know who you are! http://www.chourave.ch/boop/img/bbdrivet.jpg

Meerkat
03-11-2003, 03:24 PM
Man, this is one weird thread! Amazing what comes out when the gronicles start doing the talking! Bonding Rituals of the Neanderthals live on Jerry Springer!

I'm happy to say I run my gronicles, my gronicles don't run me! :cool:

Rex Fearnehough
03-11-2003, 04:19 PM
The post with Donn and WD were funny.
Could it be Love?
http://www.chourave.ch/gif_animals/101.gif

Rex Fearnehough
03-12-2003, 08:50 AM
I was also badly bullied as a child. I was a sickly runt then.
I was bullied by an expert and it carried on until I was around 50yrs old.
Why did it take so long to do something about it?
The bully was my father and I wanted to love him.
I wanted to give him respect. I tried so hard to make him show some decency towards me, but it never happened.
I would do my duty visits whenever I thought that I was guilty of ignoring him.
This bullying was violent intimidation at first, not only to me, as you will see later
The final straw came one day on one of these duty visits. He had started one of his beligerent rants again. I gave an honest answer to a remark that he had made and he actually kicked out at me.
He was over 70yrs old at the time. I gently eased him back in his chair and said, "If you ever do anything like that again, I will wring your scrawny little neck."
Tears came into his eyes and his reply was, "I never thought a child of mine, would threaten an old man."
I have only in the last three months regained these childhood memories. I could remember very little before the age 15, anything before this was gone.
Why?
Here is part of a letter I sent to my long lost Sister, to ascertain that these things really happened.
"My father used to visit us regularly at our house. Mostly at night when the pubs had closed, he came to get some exercise which consisted of beating my Mother. Eventually my regular post at closing time was standing in the empty dark front room, watching for my father coming up the road. If he stopped opposite our house, it mean't that he would visit.I would shout the warning to the rest of the family and unlock the escape door. I remember that my Mother locked the kitchen door once but he kicked it down anyhow. If the beating started my job was to go and get help. He realised where I was one time and rushed into my hiding place and tried to rip my arm off.
Later in life he would berate me for once getting the police to him."
I haven't written this for a sympathy vote, it will give people an insight as to why I hate bullying, verbally or physically.
Incidently I grew up into a 5'11ins built like a brick built outhouse and I still am. My muscles still work well and I am fit, a little fat around the belly but that will go in the summer.
Still compos mentis, well sometimes and still with a sense of humour.
So don't pick on me right. :D
http://opkikkertje.nl/smilies/attentie/att004.gif

[ 03-12-2003, 08:52 AM: Message edited by: Rex Fearnehough ]

Joe (SoCal)
03-12-2003, 09:14 AM
OK, here we go - As a scrawny kid from a broken home who moved around a lot I had target on me from the get go. My response to almost any taunt was to crack the person and never let up even if I was loosing the fight. It taught me 2 things. 1) I became a very aggressive fighter and 2) I could take a hit and still keep coming. As I grew older I grew stronger, working out filled me out. I became the bully someone in a bar said anything to me I would crack them. I was and still am concidered by people that have seen me work somewhat of a skilled fighter. I tried to play that I was reserved and cool trying to avoid a fight but as I have found out if you truly want to avoid a fight you can. I have broken more than one jaw / nose / legs and I'm not proud of a lot of my past. I have also picked on the wrong guy once in a wile and got my ass thoroughly kicked. One time in a bar in Fla I got into it with an Army Ranger (I didn't know he was at the time ) 1 shot into the fight I was spun and put in a sleeper hold, only to wake up on a chair with everyone looking at me. Someone came up and explained to me what a fool I was and that the guy chose not to turn off my lights for good. I have since grown up older, wiser and a little slower to anger. I have more responsibilities now than getting laid and beer money so I try to set a good example. I have found some form of peace. I still have an slight air about me people tell me that intimidates, but I have tried to tackle my demons. Now I never raise a hand in anger. Unless someone were to hurt my family or someone close to me then GOD help there sorry existance when I find them.

[ 03-12-2003, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ) ]

Joe (SoCal)
03-12-2003, 09:46 PM
Rex & Pete I like ya guys more and more with every sentence you guys write. I had a stepmoster that married my mom that when I was 17 I threw into a wall of photos after years of torment, takes a lot to recover and be able to share it.

Joe (SoCal)
03-12-2003, 09:47 PM
Originally posted by Donn:
That's funny, Joe... I always had the idea that you were kind of a pussy, and that, despite the difference in age, I could squish you like a bug. Go figure. :D Bring it on sister :D

chuckie
03-12-2003, 10:25 PM
how the hell did we get on this subject? cure for the bully? sucker punch them right between their eyes. with your fist. but a 2x4 is better. when they hit the ground you then kick them in the face and side of the head several times. a few to the stomach/kidneys and for good luck a couple to their balls. and how should we deal with the types that supported or flew planes into those buildings sept 11 in n.y. and d.c.? bomb their miserable asses back to the stone age. lets not bother with more of that frued bull **** either.........best to you all, chuckie(NTB)

Peter Malcolm Jardine
03-12-2003, 10:30 PM
Mostly Chuckie it was the title of the thread that sorta affected it.

Rex Fearnehough
03-13-2003, 06:29 AM
I often wonder about the people behind these long distance posturings.
Who are they?
What are they?
Are they bullies in real life?
Would they like to be bullies or would they just like to be accepted by fellow forumites?
Most forumites will know why I posted this thread. I wanted to separate one of the bullies from a different post and attempt to suggest that it is possible to have a different opinion, without futile insults flying.
I caught my fish.
The post about my father was just a small part of what was originally written. He was the only person that I allowed to bully me. I did learn bullying from him, but not in the, "Boy called Sue," sense. It did not help me become a bully. I also did not become big and strong because of it.
My life style did that.
I have been called a big friendly bear on numerous occasions.
I hope that is what I am.
The similes used in the insults, on some posts, I find interesting.
Pussy. Would the hunters amongst us rather be confronted by a member of the cat family or the deer family?
Girly. Are females really weaker than we males?
Use your wit in these postal retorts.
Save your muscle for physical confrontation, but use them sparingly.
Insults from a couple of thousand miles away are ridiculous.

http://www.gifs.net/animate/bear3p.gif

Wild Dingo
03-13-2003, 07:21 AM
It would be an interesting bit of research Rex... I mean a bunch of fellas get together in life and generally it becomes all mucho and yarda yarda as the booze goes down and the totesterone gets up... seems its the same in cyber space :rolleyes:

Andrew Craig-Bennett
03-13-2003, 07:52 AM
They could always get me by going for my brother, two years younger and mentally handicapped, one of the nicest men I know, who went to school with me until I was 11 and went to secondary school.

It never dawned on me that if I ignored them they would give up.

My 8 year old came home from school last Thursday walking rather stiffly - he had fallen off the climbing frame and winded himself and had them gone to lunch still crying a bit. A bigger boy ahead of him in the queue had punched him in the stomach just because he was crying. My advice - and his mother's - don't ever let them see you crying.

Rex Fearnehough
03-13-2003, 07:55 AM
Shane, I know that there are people on this forum that I would like to sit and yarn with, but I also know that there are others that I would avoid like the plague.
Have you ever been out with some guys, when you know that you have a trouble maker in your own camp? You know that he's going to cause a problem, and if trouble starts he'll be at the back egging you on. Afterwards, he'll be all puffed up, smiling and getting the beers in and bragging abut how we sorted the problem out.
There are I suspect quite a few people like this on the forum.
Beware the we's.
I'ts a good forum though.
Next year I may be able to visit some of you convicts down there.
http://www.gifs.net/animate/11-cave-man.gif

Rex Fearnehough
03-13-2003, 08:07 AM
Andrew, you will recognise this type of bully then.

"My father was a cruel man who tortured my toddler brother Rodney and said it was in fun.
He would sit him on the mantelpiece and leave him unsupported and crying in fear. We could never join in with my fathers laughter. Laughter is not always infectious.
At other times he would put him on the top of the dark cellar steps, close the door and leave him there.
He would also beat my Mother. He would fly into a rage, upend tables and throw his plate of food on the fire. I wasn't very brave when I was eight or nine, but, I used to dream I would be one day."

Little wonder that I grew up having repressed my childhood.
This is another part of the letter that I asked my Sister to confirm.

Paul Denison
03-13-2003, 08:15 AM
Man, you guys had it rough. I feel like I grew up in the Cleaver family.

Joe (SoCal)
03-13-2003, 11:52 AM
Rex, I have done my share of blowing myself up on this fair forum and for that I apologize. Donn, my friend, I respect you always have always will. I have no beef with ya and not apt to go toe to toe with you over anything anytime soon. You have as they say been in the ****e, for our country and I haven't so for that you will always command my respect. Your also a hell of a resourceful guy and add a lot to this forum. But I don't know what's gotten into you past month or so you have gotten a little more threatening with people on this forum - I'm a big boy and I take it mostly in jest. I cant see either of us or anyone else slugging it out at my BBQ (you are coming aren't you )? Just a friendly reminder to check your release valve it may have gotten stuck - go let off some steam hopefully not on this forum. We all know your as tuff as you say :D

Chris Coose
03-13-2003, 12:15 PM
A couple results of the extreme domestic violence that was witnessed in my home as a youth was a family shift from violence to passifism and recently to abstinence from alcohol.
We can now bring the family together without threat of any kind. The turkey stays on the table and the Christmas tree remains standing.
From dieing to living in one generation.
There are days that I thanks the old man for it.

Joe (SoCal)
03-13-2003, 05:21 PM
:rolleyes: I give up, Donn, ya obviously didn't get what I was trying to splain to ya. So anyway you coming to the Dingo BBQ up here in bucolic Cold Spring on Hudson this summer?

Joe (SoCal)
03-13-2003, 05:39 PM
Donn If you can make heads or tails out of Dingo Diction it looks like July 16th or 17th. smile.gif


Originally posted by Wild Dingo:
Now back to the trip... Canada will take till about the 13th July {last meet is on the 7th July in Vancouver so flight to NS and stay with Michael and Earl till the 13th} then Bar Harbor for as long as Lisa and the boys can tolerate us!! mmmm okay for as long as she can understand us! ;) or put up with me drooling all over her Yak!! but bein too damned terrified to paddle it!! HA! ...then a wander through Maine seeing people and places as she suggests above along with a couple of people not on her list! Like Bill Peterson and Donn :D ... wending our way down to Joes for the Barbie and time out... a couple of days around his compound while the girls sort themselves out and take Joes missus Lisa and Jo shopping and touring the countryside! and Joe and I sort his barn out :eek: ...Dont sweat it Joe Ive got this thing about barns since the boats in barns thread awhile back!

Then we are thinking that probably 5 major stops if this fits with Jeffs moves?... time will be short and we wont fit every state or person in although it would be great to do so... we will aim at sort of centralized places where people could converge?

Sooooo heres my thinking...

Joes leave around the 16th or 17th {Oi Joe!! that okay?? I hope were not invading here!! If so say so!!}

Meerkat
03-13-2003, 05:47 PM
Rex; Your dad could have been my dad, except that he didn't beat up mom - she wouldn't have stood for it. Instead, he bullied and physically tormented his kids: my brother, sister and I. Do to other factors, she did put up with that to a certain extent.

Joe (SoCal)
03-13-2003, 05:50 PM
Originally posted by Donn:
Maybe we'll cruise Loon up the river. How far from the H2O are you?10 clicks ( 6.2 mi ) but we would be glad to shuttle you to the compound. I can even make arraignments at the local boat club to reserve a slip for you. That would be too cool smile.gif

Meerkat
03-14-2003, 06:58 PM
Originally posted by Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ):
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Donn:
Maybe we'll cruise Loon up the river. How far from the H2O are you?10 clicks ( 6.2 mi ) but we would be glad to shuttle you to the compound. I can even make arraignments at the local boat club to reserve a slip for you. That would be too cool smile.gif </font>[/QUOTE]Gee Joe, do you really think Donn should be arraigned? LOL :D

Rex Fearnehough
03-14-2003, 07:05 PM
10 clicks ( 6.2 mi ) but we would be glad to shuttle you to the compound. I can even make arraignments at the local boat club to reserve a slip for you. That would be too cool Maybe it's a Freudian slip.

Meerkat
03-14-2003, 07:07 PM
Originally posted by Rex Fearnehough:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />10 clicks ( 6.2 mi ) but we would be glad to shuttle you to the compound. I can even make arraignments at the local boat club to reserve a slip for you. That would be too cool Maybe it's a Freudian slip.</font>[/QUOTE]Being Joe, it would be a near miss ;) :D :D :D