View Full Version : Jerk in a shell

gunnar I am
12-04-2002, 06:26 PM
The great thing about the forum is it allows instant gratification. I was just in the library reading the latest issue of MAIB. There's this guy , I'll call him Bob, yeah , Bob Awtrey from Florida. Anyway,"Bob" is put out about the praise the Adirondack Guideboat receives for rowing. He says,"...I take exception to the lavish praise heaped upon it by the magasine evaluators and wonder if they are really dedicated rowers...The reason for this is that the guideboat has a fixed seat and the sine qua non of rowing, both for pleasure and for excersise, is the sliding seat.( What?Are you outta yer &**#!!!#%@ mind?) ...in addition..., you are getting signifigantly more exercise, usually the primary object of why we're out on the water." It is? I'd be in the gym watching the miracle of lycra spandex at work if all I wanted was exersise.And he goes on," People on the beach will marvel at what they regard a rowboat, albeit ,perhaps a strange one, skimming along so rapidly and seemingly effortlessly." That's not what they're marveling at meathead! They're marveling at that idiot in a plastic piece of s*** shell, not rowboat ,that's about to row into that piling. "Do ya think we should tell him he's gonna row into a piling?" "Nah." So MAIB isn't computerised or anything. I have to wait weeks bfore I can get a letter in there to address what this sine qua non of mentally deficient reasoning has barfed out all over the pages. By then I'll be good and pissed off at someone on the forum and will have lost all interest in "Bob" Jerk,Bob.

Bruce Taylor
12-04-2002, 06:45 PM
Maybe I can be of use to you Gunnar.

The main reason people row, of course, is not to get exercise. They row because they are facing the wrong way. If they were to turn toward the bow, they would quickly realize that they are holding too many paddles. They would then toss the spare into the boat, and begin cheerfully J-sroking past that piling, getting more exercise while seeing exactly where they are headed. At this point, they would begin to see that their guideboat is really just a sort of squashed canoe with weird-looking frames, and they would say to themselves "I really must make a proper boat one of these days."

Have at it, my man! Don't make me wait 30 days.

gunnar I am
12-04-2002, 06:55 PM
No way man!! I saw what ya did with that explanation of Stan's brain! :eek:

Bruce Hooke
12-04-2002, 06:58 PM
:D :D :D

Greg H
12-04-2002, 07:03 PM
Manuel propusion only happens when the wind stops.

Bruce Hooke
12-04-2002, 07:06 PM
Yes, it sounds like Mr. Bob rather missed the point -- the sliding seat shell may be perfect for the kind of rowing that he likes to do; the Adirondack guideboat is perfect for what others of us like to do. At the least he should have started his comments by saying something like "if your goal in rowing is to go as fast as possible and get as good a workout as possible." Now, if the praise he is criticizing says that the guideboat is shockingly fast or the best rowboat for excercise then I suppose he has a point, otherwise it is sort of a pointless arguement.

John Bell
12-04-2002, 07:21 PM
Tell us what you REALLY think, Gunnar... Don't hold back this time. :D

Memphis Mike
12-04-2002, 07:26 PM
I have the answer to your problem Gunnar.
Quit rowing and build this. It'll put
some puff in yer cuff.


See, I'm a speed freak. I'm gonna build
one o these fo myself.

[ 12-04-2002, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: Memphis Mike ]

Bruce Taylor
12-04-2002, 07:31 PM
Since Gunnar isn't coming after me, I might as well admit I've got a real thing for the Guideboats. The guy who runs our local outfitter has an old one, and it's as dainty as a willow leaf. Truly, a wonderful craft. The idea of getting one of these elf-boats to use as an absercizer is hilarious.

gunnar I am
12-04-2002, 07:38 PM
Mike , I'd have one of those , but I have a nasty bit of a problem with drool. Been that way since I was a kid.Gobs and gobs of spit runnin outta my mouth, and well itb just makes a real mess when ya get goin fast. Even the guys on the open water rowing forum say sliding seats are a waste on anything under 18' becase fixed seat are all that's required for the hull speeds of shorter boats.Speakin of drool, How can ya tell a level headed West Virginian? The tobacco juice runs outta both sides of his mouth!!! HHHAAA HHAAAA!! Get it? That's an Ohoian joke.Don't come after me. :D

Memphis Mike
12-04-2002, 07:52 PM
Too late Gunnar, I'm comin for ya son.
Don't worry, it will will be painless.
I'm good at what I do. :D

Bruce Taylor
12-04-2002, 08:06 PM
Sharp-looking runabout, Mike. What are we looking at?

Memphis Mike
12-04-2002, 08:19 PM
Hankinsen's Bullit. I've thought about
building it for a long time.

Peter Malcolm Jardine
12-04-2002, 08:27 PM
Well, I must take Bob's opinion and post it in the Thousand Island's where the St Lawrence skiff has been used for many years, and is now being built again by Charlie Cliff of Cliffcraft fame. In addition there would be a few Newfies up here used to rowing Dories that would not even know what a sliding seat was. Of course, they made their living with their boats, so certainly Boob would know more about rowing than them. :rolleyes: :D :D

On Vacation
12-04-2002, 09:07 PM
Let this stupid stinkpot comment on this one. If you wish to row for your body to look cool, the guideboat is not for you. The guideboat is a multiple duty vessel. You look cool in it. You feel cool in it. You like the stink of varnish and feel posh in it. Its got nothing to do with exercise. Its in your face cool. Arrogance at the highest level. Make excuses? You will learn when you get old like Norm that this is not needed.

gunnar I am
12-04-2002, 09:14 PM
Perhaps I'm being too hasty... http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid41/pbdb6f6e90e0c07a691c32b50d8cb91e2/fcf8597d.jpg

On Vacation
12-04-2002, 09:18 PM
Only good for five minutes. Sinks in weak moment. Look past the boyancy curve.

Memphis Mike
12-04-2002, 09:47 PM
Oh! Oh! I feel soooo good! OH! Please
gimme some mo! I just don't understan....
me sooo horny fo woodenboat! :D Lemme
dig somethin up here Oyster.

[ 12-04-2002, 09:49 PM: Message edited by: Memphis Mike ]

Memphis Mike
12-04-2002, 09:58 PM
Oh my......... lookie what I found.


gunnar I am
12-04-2002, 10:10 PM
Here we go again!!!
On the good ship, " Inuendo",
Settin sail for where dirty metaphors go,
And similes of sleaze, hang from thongs on trees,
Thinkin with our brains between our knees!!
( Or a lit-tle higher)

12-05-2002, 08:02 AM
Reminds me of the guys who think you can't possibly ride a bicycle without the newest, most aireodynamic helmet. Of course! You get going so fast the vacumn behind your head will hold you back so much that eventually you'll just stop!
Snobbery takes many forms. It would be fun to see some one shoot a shotgun from a sliding seat! :eek: :D

12-05-2002, 07:14 PM
you beat me to it! I have to write to MAIB and ask Bob where the fishing pole, picnic basket, dog, kids and partner go in a shell. Besides I wonder where Bob is in his shell when the winter winds blow and the best seal watching is happening. Probably indoors with a rowing machine.
OK rant over

gunnar I am
12-05-2002, 09:16 PM
Yeah! Didn't that guy just tick you off! And I have spent hours on a rowing machine at the gym. One of the best arobic workouts there. He was so full of himself. This is the same kinda guy who when he beats you with his shell and you have a dory, he boasts about it. Jerk,Bob! And I don't think Bob Hicks would let me take it to a naame calling personal level,no fun. Sam once told me I was actin like the kids on the 6th grade playground.Yeah! Now yer talkin. You get down on yer knees behind him, an I'll push em. Jerk, Bob! :D

06-29-2005, 10:12 AM
That black and white photo of the nude Gunnar posted, I could swear I have been there, a town in the south of france called Agde, where the Canal du Midi crosses the local river, there were rowing shells all around that point, and only 3 miles away is Cap de Agde, apparently the largest nudist resort in europe, the whole town is nudist, which might explain the photo.


[ 06-29-2005, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: PatCox ]

Bruce Taylor
06-29-2005, 11:01 AM
Come back, Gunnar! Stan's gone...