Dumb and dumber

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  • Shang
    Senior Member
    • Sep 2000
    • 10021

    Dumb and dumber

    The story begins:

    "I was taxing a Cessna 140 through a line of parked planes, trying to gauge the distance between their wing-tips by the shadows on the ground. ...Cost me forty-five dollars to replace the cover on the nav light of a Piper!"

    "Yeah, but that was a plane! What was the dumbest thing you ever did in a BOAT! (that didn't involve a woman, I mean)?"

    "Well," you say, "There was the time that I..."
  • Adam C
    Senior Member
    • Feb 2001
    • 327

    #2
    Caved in the transom of a Bayliner when the wind puffed and I shifted into forward instead of reverse while trying to dock a few years back.

    Real nice. Cost me only a grand, though....

    Comment

    • Wayne Jeffers
      Former member # 1964
      • Mar 2002
      • 3132

      #3
      " . . . was shooting the rapids in my drift boat and I came upon a vertical drop of about 12 feet. I recognized the situation too late and we were plunged over the precipice. Fortunately, we landed in a large pool, rather than crashing onto rocks. As we gained our bearings upon re-surfacing, we saw that our boat had survived intact and began to swim toward it. Suddenly, up the river screamed a jetskeet, and it occurred to me at once that we had failed to keep our powder dry, just when we needed it most. The jetskeet bore down on us, but just in time, there appeared . . ."

      [This message has been edited by Wayne Jeffers (edited 07-25-2001).]

      Comment

      • norske
        Senior Member
        • Apr 2000
        • 105

        #4
        MOVING(not the thing to do) in a thick fog in a small 16 foot boat across a ships channel in Boston Haarboor---fortunately we came right up to a red channel buoy---we stuck close to it as we heard a ships horn ( a mighty big sound!)--a few seconds later we saw the ship pop out of the fog and pass at about 15 knots( those big guys don't slow down in a fog)--and we would have been right in its path had we not seen that buoy---it just was'nt our time I guess. Sometimes the thought of it can give me a chill even though its been 45 years---I thank God again.

        [This message has been edited by norske (edited 07-25-2001).]

        Comment

        • Todd Bradshaw
          Sailmaker
          • Jun 2000
          • 11080

          #5
          Too many to count...
          Shot a break in a dam in a decked whitewater canoe - spent about 20 minutes caught in the roller while watching it tear the ends off my boat. When we got out and loaded the boat on the car, parts of it flapped in the breeze...

          Decided to adjust the lee shroud on a Hobie 16 while sailing in the middle of a lake - a small header came-up just after I pulled the pin and dropped the whole rig... What made it worse is that I was a Hobie dealer and the other people on the boat were customers taking a demo ride.

          Crowded a friend who was surfing a river wave in a kayak - he suddenly popped out and impaled the bottom of his boat on the pointy bow of my low volume slalom kayak, just missing his crotch...he was pisssssed!

          etc, etc, etc... If one learns from one's mistakes, I probably have a Ph.D by now.

          Comment

          • Stephen
            Senior Member
            • Oct 1999
            • 462

            #6
            ...varnished aloft up the mast, in the wind, next to some multi-million dollar plastic power yacht...

            Comment

            • John B
              Senior Member
              • Aug 2000
              • 31703

              #7
              I hacksawed a chain on deck once. No problem for a week or so.
              Then 10 years later, I hacksawed a chain on deck but I covered the whole area with a drop sheet. No problem for a week or so.

              Comment

              • LAMESS
                Senior Member
                • Jun 2001
                • 293

                #8
                Listened (or didn't) when somebody said nobody had stayed dry in an open conoe trying to go through 'The Toilet Bowl'. Hmm it looks like if we back paddle there we'll ferry some and then if we shoot forward with enough power... Jeez where did that rock come from. wrapped that canoe right around it. Fortunately it was fiberglass. Unfortunately it was a rental and since I'd also rented a raft the deposit was $500.
                \"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man\'s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.\"<br />-- John Kenneth Galbraith

                Comment

                • ishmael
                  Banned
                  • Jun 2000
                  • 23518

                  #9
                  College sailing club. My first outing. Only one complete neophyte with me. I was supposed to be the expert.

                  They sailed a little racing dinghy, about thirteen foot. I can't recall the class. Sail bags in hand I and the novice headed to the end of a pier where our boat was bobbing. Being used to slightly larger, less spritely, craft I pulled on the bow line to get within jumping distance, and jumped onto the foredeck. The little devil turned turtle sending a $150.00 rudder that had been laying on the floor boards to the bottom of a 100 ft. of water, and me into the reservoir.

                  Doesn't seem like much now, but I was EMBARASSED.

                  Comment

                  • Greg H.
                    Senior Member
                    • May 1999
                    • 1684

                    #10
                    About 16 years ago...
                    First time going out alone on a 28' Owens. I backed her out of the slip nice and slow, got her turned just right and was ready to shift out of reverse. I took my hand off the lever for just a moment, looks good, now forward into neutral......and it's the throttle I shove forward....s***. Pull it back, slip the shift into neutral then into forward stall engine and back firmly into dock. Made a lovely hole in the transom. At least their were no witnesses......No more powerboats for me, Greg

                    [This message has been edited by Greg H. (edited 07-25-2001).]

                    Comment

                    • John B
                      Senior Member
                      • Aug 2000
                      • 31703

                      #11
                      Another thing that happened,....We were in a vintage boat race some years ago,( about 1990) sliding up a lee shore ( Cheltenham beach)in about 10 knots,hard on the wind, calm sea. There was a bigger yacht just out to weather and we were catching it. The wind would back and we would point up to lay a safe line but then it would fill and we wouldn’t (just).
                      The thing about this beach is the way it steeply shelves from about 15 ft of water to 2 ft of water in about 10ft.
                      So here’s John, sitting down to leeward, watching the wind , pinching her up a bit higher, just trying to lay through because the tack would cost us dearly.
                      Kirsty says to me , “ whats that funny water up in front?”
                      I refocussed from the woolies to the water and saw a patch of jumping brown water directly off the bow and threw the tack in.

                      She answered truly, did the Waione, she really tried to complete the tack, but she’s a bit deeper when straight up and down ,compared to a 20 degree heel.
                      We went half way. We had probably been sliding along the shelf for some time. We stopped, pointing directly into the wind, sails flapping, a couple of extra inches of freeboard.
                      “Right” I thought, as the rest of the fleet sailed past ( making rude remarks,) “ get in the dinghy , row the anchor out , pull her round, go”
                      Problem was, no dinghy because we were racing. Didn’t have a motor in the boat.
                      Kirsty waved down a passing fizz boat and they hooked us up and pulled our bow sideways a couple of feet and we dropped off and went.

                      We completed the race in “ we might as well finish but we’re disqualified mode”, over took the other yachts to leeward, got the gun and told the race steward about the incident. He adjudged that we hadn’t been advantaged and we won the race. We won that same trophy again this year so the story is fresh in my mind.

                      What sticks in my mind?
                      #1 I was embarassed, but we were in the money.
                      #2 Kirsty is smarter than me.

                      Comment

                      • desiderate
                        Junior Member
                        • Jul 2001
                        • 4

                        #12
                        Stepped clear through a rotted plank on a dock, fell through, wedged myself up to my chest til I could bearely breathe. Waist-deep in cold springtime water, in my right hand a fresh beer, in my left an electric drill i was using to repair the dock, cord attached...
                        I dropped the beer.

                        [This message has been edited by desiderate (edited 07-25-2001).]

                        Comment

                        • Bob Cleek
                          Senior Member
                          • Feb 2000
                          • 11970

                          #13
                          The absolutely dumbest thing you can ever do on a boat is admit you did anything dumb! That's the first thing you ever learn in OCS... You can't call yourself a skipper unless you've learned this lesson well!

                          Comment

                          • Ed Harrow
                            Retro Member #1235
                            • Mar 2000
                            • 7343

                            #14
                            Whew, that was close! I've never done anything dumb in a boat.
                            "Congress doesn't regulate Wall Street, Wall Street regulates Congress."

                            MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY! "I have heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others."

                            As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.

                            International Financial Conspirator, Collaborator, Gun Runner, Ace Philosopher-King and all-around smartie pants

                            Comment

                            • dasboat
                              Senior Member
                              • Feb 2000
                              • 503

                              #15
                              Never did anything dumb...honest I didn't...honest.
                              Well there was that time we tried to get from the Marin Headlands,across racoon straights and then to the bay bridge in a very heavy fog.
                              THE SPIRITS WERE WITH US,as we crossed,a tug with a very heavy and long tow slipped pass our port side.That sound I thought was the gate horn was the tug telling me to get the hell out of his way.
                              Dasboat
                              Darryl JONES

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