View Full Version : A little humor

km gresham
03-10-2005, 09:23 AM
And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |

Bill Clinton is checking into Presbyterian Hospital in New York today to have scar tissue removed that developed after his heart bypass. He gave the doctors quite a scare when he had the procedure last September. Five hours after the surgery, he took a turn for the nurse.

Martha Stewart returned to work on Monday to address her employees at Martha Stewart Omnimedia. She has a new perspective on life. For ten minutes she talked about the friends she made in prison and announced plans to found her own rap label.

Michael Jackson was described by an eyewitness as a child molester on Monday in lurid and appalling testimony. His defense attorneys have one consolation. At least they don't have to defend President Bush's plan to privatize Social Security.

Boeing fired chief executive Harry Stonecipher on Monday for having a sexual affair with a female staffer. He was widely applauded for turning the company around. It is when he started turning his staff members around that things got ugly.

Maryland University researchers found Monday that laughter is as good as physical exercise for a healthy heart. The scientists discovered the more you laugh, the longer you live. So all along we had the wrong Clinton in charge of health care.

Howard Dean said Monday the Democrats are raising over a million dollars per week since he took over. He said he wants to win over white Southern working-class voters. In every speech south of Kansas he refers to the Republicans as the Party of Lincoln.

The White House didn't invite Sinn Fein head Gerry Adams for St. Patrick's Day lunch. How sad. Imagine the Irishman's sorrow when he heard he won't get to spend St. Patrick's Day with a president who's English and Protestant and no longer drinks.

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman refused to apologize Friday for telling school children that his favorite hobby is drinking gin. The kids are bombarded with ads for alcohol. This morning's Sesame Street was brought to you by the letters J&B.