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paladin
07-16-2005, 11:17 PM
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. This would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit:"
U.S. ARMY's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Aim towards the enemy " Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher.

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend". U.S. Marine Corp.

"Cluster bombing is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground". USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you " Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed "
U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons". General McArthur

"Try to look unimportant. They may be low on ammo" Infantry Journal

"You, you and you...... Panic. The rest of you come with me"
U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways" U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds" Infantry Journal

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush"
Infantry Journal

"No combat ready unit ever passed an inspection" U.S. Army Grunt

"Any ship can be a mine sweeper....... once " Anon

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you " Unknown Infantryman

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him " USAF Ammo Troop

At the entrance to the old SR-71 Operations Base at Kadena , Japan; "
Yea though I fly through the Valley of Death... I shall fear no evil, for I am
at 80,000 feet and CLIMBING "

"You have never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3! "
Paul Crickmore, U.S. Navy pilot

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire "
Anon fighter pilot.

Navy Truisms; "There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky "

If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter..... and therefore unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin engine aircraft you always have enough
power to get you to the scene of the crash.

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Finally, as the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, " What happened ? " The pilot's reply, " I don't know, I just got here myself ! "
Attributed to Ray Crandell, Lockheed Test Pilot.

Phillip Allen
07-17-2005, 05:35 AM
I know an old A-4 pilot who is full of that stuff... smile.gif

paladin
07-17-2005, 10:34 AM
ayup...two of the most worthless things in the world to a pilot izz runway behind ya and altitude above ya......

Shang
07-17-2005, 10:47 AM
"In event of engine failure, pick something cheap and hit it as slowly as possible."

seafox
07-17-2005, 05:04 PM
wjem flying in the alutions islands please beware of rock lined cloulds

at coast guard acadamy the comanding officer offered a group of midshipmen the chance to comand a cutter, three steped forward and were given hedge trimmers for the afternoon.

Phillip Allen
07-17-2005, 05:39 PM
smile.gif

Andrew S/Y Rocquette
07-18-2005, 03:50 AM
We have annual appraisal reports in the Royal Navy/Royal Marines. The following are allegedly actual excerpts taken from people's "206's" as the relevant form is known....

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity"

"I would not breed from this Officer"

"This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be"

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there"

"He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction"

"He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle"

"Technically sound, but socially impossible"

"This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere"

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy"

"When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably"

"This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar"

"Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig"

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them"

"He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age"

"This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better"

"In my opinion this pilot should not be authorised to fly below 250 feet"

"The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship"

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"

"This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"

[ 07-18-2005, 04:53 AM: Message edited by: Andrew S/Y Rocquette ]

Garrett Lowell
07-18-2005, 07:38 AM
"Men are basically smart or dumb and lazy or ambitious. The dumb and ambitious ones are dangerous and I get rid of them. The dumb and lazy ones I give mundane duties. The smart ambitious ones I put on my staff. The smart and lazy ones I make my commanders."
- Attributed to Field Marshal Erwin Rommel,
on how he selects officers for staff and command.

PatCox
07-18-2005, 08:58 AM
Garret, I have heard that attributed to Napolean, he divided into dumb and smart, diligent and lazy. Dumb and diligent is the most dangerous combination, because they can pull off stupid accomplishments. Stupid lazy people do little harm. Smart and diligent people should be put into logistics, support, etc. Smart lazy people are the best generals because they are committed to achieving the most with the least effort.