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stan v
09-23-2003, 06:35 AM
> Why lots of young guys have two dogs and not two wives
>
> 1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
>
> 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
>
> 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
>
> 4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
>
> 5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
>
> 6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
>
> 7. A dog's parents never visit.
>
> 8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
>
> 9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point
> across.
>
> 10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or
> desk.
>
> 11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
>
> 12. Dogs can't talk.
>
> 13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
>
> 14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a
> day.
>
> 15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
>
> 16. Dogs like to go hunting.
>
> 17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
>
> 18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both
> of you.
>
> 19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you
> get another dog?"
>
> 20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for
> free.
>
> 21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them
> away.
>
> 22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a
> pervert.
>
> 23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
>
> 24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they
> just think it's interesting.
>
> 25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
>
> 26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
>
> 27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
>
> 28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
>
> 29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.
>
> 30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff
>
>

Joe (SoCal)
09-23-2003, 06:45 AM
In a strange twist of fate I posted the same joke as Stan's a few months ago :rolleyes: tongue.gif

stan v
09-23-2003, 06:48 AM
The advantage of being 53, you get to see new jokes all the time! Did you know Canada had their own satellites? ;)

Bilge pump
09-23-2003, 08:07 AM
Stan. How did you get to 53 without someone blowing your foul head off your stupid shoulders and feeding the filthy remains to a mongrell dog?

stan v
09-23-2003, 08:16 AM
I'm feeling the love today!!! :D

On Vacation
09-23-2003, 08:37 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a very serious question for you, Stan.

Tell us about any wooden boat projects, I know you used some plywood in your last one, post some pictures of your project in Building and Repairs of what you have done, or car repair, or just a house redo, you are doing at this time. How about writing to us about your dock repair. Tell us something other than a continued attack on the left. I may have some of the same beliefs, and write with bad spelling, but at least I don't continually plagerize to display my lack of Masters Degree in world issues. You call me a troll? Grow up a little. We can deal with you, Dutch, Memphis Mike, Chris Coose, Mike Field, or even MEERKAT. I do like him, also.I don't know if he is cute in person, but I think he has cute eyes in his online shots.

So what is it that you would like to say personally, from the heart, with the keyboard, so we can get to know you better, and can relate to your style of writing?

stan v
09-23-2003, 08:41 AM
Well, you have my heartfelt sympathies if you can't take a joke. :eek:

On Vacation
09-23-2003, 08:46 AM
Stan, we all laugh at the jokes. We all post jokes. We all send jokes by e-mails to each other. We, also, would like to see a real side of you, instead of leaning on others, and using others as you and I both think, in real life, is a little weak minded. Do I make myself clear today? Its a real simple mind, that doesn't understand a simple mind.

Meerkat
09-23-2003, 12:03 PM
Well Oyster, I have to hand it to you for admitting what we've all thought for quite some time: that both you and stan are weak minded! :D

On Vacation
09-23-2003, 12:10 PM
At least I expose mine with my own words 99 percent of the time.

I repeat:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
It takes a REAL simple mind not to see my simple posts as original. tongue.gif

[ 09-23-2003, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: Oyster ]

NormMessinger
09-23-2003, 12:16 PM
WHOA! We stepped in to that one didn't we. :D

But, don't despair, Stan. It gets better. By the time you are my age you'll also be able to buy yourself birthday and christmas presents and be surprised when you open them.

And I don't care what others says about those of us who cut and paste. I find Molly Ivans can express my views much better than I can. Jim Hightower, too. Great Texans, both.

On Vacation
09-23-2003, 01:52 PM
Wow oh wee!!!Don't we have some strange bedfellows, here. tongue.gif tongue.gif :D

Meerkat
09-23-2003, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by Oyster:
At least I expose mine with my own words 99 percent of the time.

I repeat:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
It takes a REAL simple mind not to see my simple posts as original. tongue.gif Oyster, you do yourself a grave injustice! I'd say that you expose yourself 100% of the time! LOLOL :D

On Vacation
09-23-2003, 03:26 PM
Meerkat, I asked you just the other day, a simple inquiry, which in return required a simple answer. I think it shows you logged on this forum, somewhere around March of 2002. What have you shared with this forum, other than a few canoe threads, and what have you done to make life better for you and your surroundings? The below reply is all that you can share with us to account for one year and six months of life? I would be ashamed to even replied to the question, if this was all that you could come up with.

Probably a great percentage, somewhere around 99 percent of your posts are just plain negative bull crap, towards life, from the time you get out of bed, till the time you finally pass out from total negative exhausting thoughts, of hatred and bitterness, towards every living and breathing thing, that exist on our planet.

Until you can come up with a better reply to anything, other than negativeness, you are nothing more than a real to life troll on this forum, and not even a good one. Do you exhibit the same crap in your home life, that you display in here?

Get a job as a security guard, at the port of Seattle, or something, since you know all the ways to take care of this country. Lord knows they need one, to inspect all of those containers. Quit be envious of the ones like me, that do what I want to do, when the sun and the wind is right, and thats go boating, 300 days a year, if desired. When you are able to do this, then I will kiss your feet.
Meerkat
Registered: 03-01-2002

Question:
Help me out here, Meer. This is a very serious question for you. What exist in you daily life, and the world around you, that you can truely say that you like, and approve as being the way it should be? I would like you to make a list for us. Maybe then, we can better understand your platform, for success of our nation and the world. Please leave out the name calling, and just list issues of objections, and alternatives, to the way that you feel it should be done. I, for one, would like to hear all, no matter how extreme or radical, from my beliefs, I may think it to be. I am sure that you know my feelings on most matters. Plese don't just throw out wild stuff, with no way to back up, like numbers, or percentages, to favor your beliefs. I will take an issue as just your beliefs.

Tell us about any wooden boat projects, you have done or car repair, or just a house redo, you are doing at this time. Tell us something other than a continued attack on everything.

Reply:
Oyster; Newt Gingrich (sp?) and his Contract on America where responsible for virtually eliminating government funding for public television/radio.

I haven't done much of late due to lack of money. I did once build a small 7'6" lapstrake pram from a kit when it comes to boats. Perhaps what I'm most proud of recently (last weekend) was to get a friend of a friend's daughter's computer, that she needed for school, working again

Meerkat
09-23-2003, 05:14 PM
Hmmm... are you the same Oyster who mentioned having gone through over $770,000 of other people's money and thence to bankruptcy? What do they, or you, have to show for it, aside from some tax deductions?

Oh yes, and thanks for reminding me not to try to debate with the mentally disarmed. I suggest you osculate my glutes. Given your political leanings, I wouldn't mind if you only wished to adore the right one. If that's not enough though, I'd be glad to turn the other cheek. :D

[ 09-23-2003, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Meerkat ]

oldriverat
09-23-2003, 05:19 PM
I'm gonna have to get me dictionary on that un. :D

JimD
09-23-2003, 06:33 PM
Originally posted by stan v:
The advantage of being 53, you get to see new jokes all the time! Did you know Canada had their own satellites? ;) Did I miss a joke about Canadian satellites? Let's hear it :D

stan v
09-23-2003, 06:38 PM
Sorry JimD, I've forgotten the punch line. tongue.gif

On Vacation
09-23-2003, 09:15 PM
Originally posted by Meerkat:
Hmmm... are you the same Oyster who mentioned having gone through over $770,000 of other people's money and thence to bankruptcy? What do they, or you, have to show for it, aside from some tax deductions?

Oh yes, and thanks for reminding me not to try to debate with the mentally disarmed. I suggest you osculate my glutes. Given your political leanings, I wouldn't mind if you only wished to adore the right one. If that's not enough though, I'd be glad to turn the other cheek. :D You won't find me in that catagory. I would suggest that you retract your false accusations. If I saw that much, I wouldn't have wasted my time grinding fiberglass. Yep Mike, please post the definitions for all that gobbly goop.

JimD
09-23-2003, 09:38 PM
Originally posted by stan v:
Sorry JimD, I've forgotten the punch line. tongue.gif Darn it, Stan, next you'll be hiding your own easter eggs!

Meerkat
09-24-2003, 03:07 AM
Originally posted by Oyster:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Meerkat:
Hmmm... are you the same Oyster who mentioned having gone through over $770,000 of other people's money and thence to bankruptcy? What do they, or you, have to show for it, aside from some tax deductions?

Oh yes, and thanks for reminding me not to try to debate with the mentally disarmed. I suggest you osculate my glutes. Given your political leanings, I wouldn't mind if you only wished to adore the right one. If that's not enough though, I'd be glad to turn the other cheek. :D You won't find me in that catagory. I would suggest that you retract your false accusations. If I saw that much, I wouldn't have wasted my time grinding fiberglass. Yep Mike, please post the definitions for all that gobbly goop.</font>[/QUOTE]I suggest you look up the definition of accusation while you're looking up osculate and glutes. While you're at it, look up equine and add that to glute :D

You and I are done talking.

daddles
09-24-2003, 08:23 PM
Originally posted by JimD:
Darn it, Stan, next you'll be hiding your own easter eggs!You mean you don't?

Richard

[ 09-24-2003, 08:35 PM: Message edited by: daddles ]